shinysocks (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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bakerstreet2014-05-23 09:17 pm
shinysocks) wrote in bakerstreet2014-05-23 09:17 pm
A surprisingly honest statement from a man. Wasn't it the group Uncle Bonsai who called it, 'a thimbleful of pride'?
1. I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
2. You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
3. I'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every move. I AM AN ADULT!
4. Just had my first american. His blood tasted like freedom.
5. Text her!
2. You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
3. I'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every move. I AM AN ADULT!
4. Just had my first american. His blood tasted like freedom.
5. Text her!
1. At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
2. I'll let you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense.
3. Text him!
2. I'll let you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense.
3. Text him!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter.
Wouldn't counseling be a better choice for your situation?
1. I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
2. The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It’s glorious.
3. Yeah I don’t remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet.
4. Text him
2. The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It’s glorious.
3. Yeah I don’t remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet.
4. Text him
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I like how neither of them questions that they're texting each other instead of just talking
oceanicbutterfly
- 2014-05-24 21:24 (UTC) - ExpandI'm assuming it's Tewi, she can take rabbit form. Maybe.
eternalprincess
- 2014-05-24 21:38 (UTC) - Expandmakes as much sense as anything does on this meme
oceanicbutterfly
- 2014-05-24 21:42 (UTC) - ExpandThat's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima.
1. So I don't remember this but these forms say I adopted 5 kittens, 3 puppies, and a bunny yesterday and I think I hear them in the bathroom.
Please tell me you have some insight
2. I'm not going to play doctor with you over text okay? Either you have a serious injury and I'll come over or you're messing with me
3. So I was wondering if maybe you wanted to... go out with me... I MEAN IT CAN JUST BE A CASUAL THING REALLY it doesn't have to be a date date you know
4. Text him!!
Please tell me you have some insight
2. I'm not going to play doctor with you over text okay? Either you have a serious injury and I'll come over or you're messing with me
3. So I was wondering if maybe you wanted to... go out with me... I MEAN IT CAN JUST BE A CASUAL THING REALLY it doesn't have to be a date date you know
4. Text him!!
1. That's the problem, I'm afraid. I just don't stay dead.
2. Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
3. Text her?
2. Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
3. Text her?
Then I kicked him in the face so hard, I knocked out some teeth!
And he said I couldn't be a champion kickboxer. Hah!
And he said I couldn't be a champion kickboxer. Hah!
01. Well, hello there, hangover. Fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT Thursday morning.
02. They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
03. I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
02. They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
03. I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
01. two words...techno handjob
02. I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
03. It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
02. I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
03. It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Hot pockets? Are you trying to give yourself cancer before your time, man?
i. it was like once i started flashing you i couldn't stop.
ii. well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbours" off the bucket list.
iii. my dream date: hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. is that too much to ask?
i. He asked if I had siblings when I asked him to lick my arsehole.
ii. You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
iii. He's going to find out eventually, but really, what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten?
i. For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
ii. How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out? Usually you're on the other end of things.
iii. You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were drunk. You have done this far too much.
a.) what do you think are the chances that i'm adopted
b.) hungover does not do it justice. i am hung like a horse over. i am hungover and over and over. i am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. fuck drinking with you people.
c.) i have dibs on your crisis of faith.
d.) there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again.
b.) hungover does not do it justice. i am hung like a horse over. i am hungover and over and over. i am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. fuck drinking with you people.
c.) i have dibs on your crisis of faith.
d.) there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again.
next time you'll listen to me when I tell you not to challenge ioane to a drinking contest
most important lesson of your life
most important lesson of your life
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Edited 2014-05-25 06:27 (UTC)
Val Velocity | The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys
glorifiedrevolution
2014-05-25 09:27 pm (UTC)(link)
a.)
Found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. I think I win the scavenger hunt.
b.)
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. I think I win the scavenger hunt.
b.)
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Show Pony | Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys
rollerbunny
2014-05-25 09:29 pm (UTC)(link)
a.)
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
b.)
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
b.)
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
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