i. He asked if I had siblings when I asked him to lick my arsehole.
ii. You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
iii. He's going to find out eventually, but really, what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten?