shinysocks (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shinysocks) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2014-05-23 09:17 pm
shinysocks) wrote in bakerstreet2014-05-23 09:17 pm
1. so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
2. But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
2. But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
AkaRed - Boukenger Vs Super Sentai/Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger - OTA
inheritstheredsouls
2014-05-24 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
1) Any of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
2) It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
3) ((Text him!))
2) It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
3) ((Text him!))
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
((OR FREE FOR ALL TEXT!))
((OR FREE FOR ALL TEXT!))
A. I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
B. The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
C. How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
[ Or text him! ]
B. The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
C. How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
[ Or text him! ]
hate to break it to you, kid, but i don't think he was a doctor.
Edited (wow ellie don't look at me i don't brain fart words ever) 2014-05-24 06:30 (UTC)
NO DON'T GIVE UP i still can't figure out who this is ;A;
hexuality
- 2014-05-24 17:34 (UTC) - ExpandHey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Are you actually asking, or are you thinking out loud again?
Also, I believe, a fair question.
Also, I believe, a fair question.
I know someone who might object to the cuddling. A few someones, in fact.
1. The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
2. I woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
2. I woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
.... Why am I not surprised this is something you have a reason to ask?
1. What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
2. In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
2. In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
1) I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
2) This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
2) This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
do you think laying on the floor pouring whiskey into your mouth is the most pathetic thing you've heard all day or can you beat that
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
1. this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
2. You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
3. Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
2. You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
3. Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
A. Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later.
B. This creepy guy was following me and I hid in the bushes. I could say I was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
C. Threw a lawn chair at the neighboor's dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this.
D. As a general rule of thumb, wait until the claw marks have healed.
B. This creepy guy was following me and I hid in the bushes. I could say I was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
C. Threw a lawn chair at the neighboor's dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this.
D. As a general rule of thumb, wait until the claw marks have healed.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
I call it 'the bachelor killer'. It means you're growing up.
A. no no no omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of ur dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job
B. this is even worse then that time i fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning
C. ur surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i dont feel bad 4 u
D. idk but i have u stored in my phone as "guy with beard doing body shots"
B. this is even worse then that time i fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning
C. ur surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i dont feel bad 4 u
D. idk but i have u stored in my phone as "guy with beard doing body shots"
daughter of mine, you lack a certain faith in the beneficence of your fellow woman. in a society as ravaged by the wretched beast of capitalism as ours, we have no choice but to rely on the inherent ethics of the free market system. she betrayed not only my trust, but thomas paine's, and yours by way of modern feminism.
1. The whole bar erupted in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
2. You went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my room.
3. Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
2. You went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my room.
3. Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
1)All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
2)I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
3)this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
4) Send your own
2)I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
3)this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
4) Send your own
Edited 2014-05-24 05:06 (UTC)
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis, but I really do need a babysitter.
I can't possibly imagine what gave that away.
1. If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
2. YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
3. For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
[ ... well. That's an odd thing for him to get from Sam. ]
Would you like me to accompany you so that doesn't happen?
Would you like me to accompany you so that doesn't happen?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Edited 2014-05-24 05:10 (UTC)
1) this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
2) Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
3) THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
2) Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
3) THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I tried to talk you out of it, sir. You pulled rank on me.
Edited 2014-05-24 05:50 (UTC)
At my funeral they'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
I hope I get to be the one saying it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I hear that sanitation is a good thing.
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