bakerstreet | Like horny confessions, but for strangers

Like horny confessions, but for strangers

FILTHY FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Look at that guy over there. Real fast, tell me the first thing that comes to mind. Go!

Oh my God, wait, no, don't tell me. DON'T TELL ME.

ONE. Top level with your character and limits, prefs, comfort levels, etc.

TWO. Because other characters are going to comment (possibly forced) their nastiest, horniest, thirsty-ass, down-bad, FERAL first thoughts about them. Straight, no chaser. And definitely no filter, no sir. We're wild.

THREE. Can you feel the absolute chaos in the studio today?

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[In response, Rowan pulls out a phone, because of course he carried one with him when he'd gone back home and then tripped through a portal into some other realm, and pulled up a quick clip of exactly what Turkish Oil Wrestling was.]

A lot of oil, love.

What a waste of cooking oil. I would not disgrace those who go hungry by such acts.

[Xenk buddy did you even notice the men???]

... Oh dear Fates.

[It took a moment, and then a lean in and a quiet sniff, and Rowan rolled his eyes.]

There should be some kind of rule about people who look like you being stolen away by a deity for their own uses. Completely unfair, if you ask me.

[Well for someone with a keen sense of smell to find more than the Human on a man, Xenk must be quite the odd specimen. The taint of undeath lingers ever so faintly upon him, though the touch of his most holy patron has also left a mark.

For the man himself, however, the action is studied with a mixture of confusion and suspicion.]

Sandalwood incense and dried lavender sprigs.

[It would not do to be malodorous while trying to help those in need.]

Oh no, you smell divine. Quite literally.

[It was the magic more than the scent that Rowan picked up on. Not human. Not mage or witch. Certainly not fae. But divine? Oh, there was an angle to it. And with the armor, he had to wonder if he was some kind of holy knight on a crusade.]

Do vows of chastity come into play?

Divinity carries a scent?

[That is news to the resident paladin who tips his chin down to sniff at his undershirt as though it might give up its secrets but he cannot scent it.]

My vows are toward helping the innocent and upholding justice, not anything to do with my physical person.

So is that a 'yes' on people being able to climb you like a tree?

I am not aware as to why you would need to. If you need assistance reaching something I am more than happy to provide.

Oh, darling. Subtle isn't your language, is it? It's an innuendo, dove. A naughty one.

I prefer not to dabble in colloquialism, irony, nor figurative language. Intentions are muddy enough without obfuscating intentionally.

[That and it's hard to keep up with slang when you get to be so old and have only so many brain cells. But he's finally being handed a clue. Ah. He doesn't know what to do with it, either.

Where is Edgin when Xenk needs him??? He'd know what to say.]

I. See. Should I thank you? I find it difficult to discern if your lascivious remark is because of a quality I ought to be proud of or not.

Well, one can't generally be held at fault or cause for physical attractiveness. That's down to good genetics, love. But again, one has to wonder if one who is so... uniquely intent in their actions applies that to all areas they involve themselves in.

And yes, I'm speaking of sex again. T'is the point of this whole hooplah, after all. Not like I just randomly walk up to strangers and tell them I'd like to throw a leg over on a good day.

Please tell me you do not believe you love me. You have only just met me.

[He seems Extremely concerned, suddenly. Also the normally unflappable paladin might honest to Ilmater squirm a little bit.]

I very much misunderstood what I invited myself into, I think.

Love? Ah, no. Just a term of endearment. No, no desperate bleedings of affection from me. Merely an appreciation of what I'm looking at.

[Squirming is adorable in grown men who don't seem to realize what a piece of cake they are. Rowan enjoys it.]

Perhaps you did. Which is why I inquired about celibacy. It's one thing to prod at someone who's just a bit... unknowing, but another to poke at a vow.

None.

[It never occurs to him to lie even if it would make this entire conversation he finds discomfort in go away.]

I have lived for well over a century. It is less about not knowing and more about forgetting, perhaps. But what desires I harbor are personal. You understand.

Of course. But, from a healer to a helper, you have to know that it's healthy to have them. These... desires. And to give in from time to time. Bottling up leads to repression, which leads to stress in the body. There's nothing untoward or unhealthy about enjoying oneself.

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Like horny confessions, but for strangers

don't judge me >>

He'd have to have an Int score to judge you

His Ch score makes up for it.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Thank you for allowing me to voice test this idiot with your fae healer I'm sorry he's stupid.

Never apologize. He's a precious angel and I'll fight anyone that says otherwise.

No one in this gd movie has an Int Score, bless them.

They maxed out on... I think they forgot to add points, actually.

Combat feats i think. At least in Xenk's case

Xenk's is good looks and being loved by his deity.

Truly the paladin of all time

Best ever. 5 stars.