Birthday Meme!

[ricsaltzman]

 THE "IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!" MEME
1. Post!
2. Tag!
3. RNG: 1-10
4. Have at it!

1. Forgotten Birthday
Did everyone forget your big day? Were you really hoping for some company, or just a damn present? If only one person remembered... It'd be okay even if they're late.

2. Secret Birthday
Birthday? BAH HUMBUG. You don't want to be reminded that you're turning 50 or 500 this year. It's just another year of receding hairlines and sagging breasts. Seriously. You don't have a birthday. (Or hey, maybe you just forgot to mention it. That happens too.)

3. Expensive Birthday
Time to splurge! You only get to do this once a year, right? So everyone better bring some damn good presents for how good a bash you're throwing. Getting thrown, maybe, with Daddy and Mommy's money.

4. Double Birthday
There's nothing quite like the kinship of being born on the same day. Maybe you're twins, maybe you were cloned, maybe you just budded off asexually or something. Or, you were just lucky. Better figure out who gets to blow out the candles.

5. Surprise Birthday
Did everyone forget your birthday? This is the wrong number, isn't it? Hey... isn't it awfully quiet? Where did everyone go?

6. Senile Birthday
Birthday? Whose birthday is it?

7. Unbirthday
It's not even your birthday, but the hell with it, you want cake. And balloons and streamers and maybe a fucking pony. Well, you're going to get them. And some tea, if that's your thing. Either way, this is going to be the BEST RANDOM DAY EVER.

8. Romantic Birthday
Nothing says I love you like actually remembering when your significant other started existing. After all, this is only one of... 5? 10? Occasions of the year where you get to spend too much money spoil them.

9. Crashed Birthday
Who the hell are you? This is a private party!! Wait, what do you mean poisonous hamsters from Zanzibar are in the pantry?!

10. Deathday
Hell yeah, the day you were released from the ties of the living world. Nothing quite like it. This is an absolutely festive occasion. It's a great day to haunt someone you know! Or something.

Comments

[bl1nds33r]

H3Y K4RK4T
YOU S33N D4V3

[Forgotten your wriggling day and only pestering you to find Coolkid.]

[candyhorns]

[Wow fuck you, Terezi. He was already sulking, but this is just--fuck you and everyone else.]

NO.
WHY THE FUCK WOULD I HAVE SEEN DAVE.
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S ALWAYS GOT YOUR SNIFF NODE WEDGED UP HIS NOOK, FIGURE IT OUT FOR YOURSELF.

[bl1nds33r]

[She tilts her head.]

YOUR3 ODDLY COMPOS3D TOD4Y
WH4T H4PP3N3D

[candyhorns]

NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED, NOTHING EVER HAPPENS, WHY DON'T YOU GO PLAY WITH YOUR COOL FRIEND AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.

[bl1nds33r]

FUCK TH4T
QU1T MOP1NG 4ND T3LL M3 WH4TS GO1NG ON

[Just going to... prod at you with her cane.]

[candyhorns]

I'M NOT MOPING!

[bl1nds33r]

TH4TS B3TT3R
NOW [She begins to pace slightly, while keeping her face aimed in your general direction.]

WH4T COULD POSS1BLY H4V3 YOU SO D1SM4Y3D, YET UN4G1T4T3D??
1F SOM3ON3 H4D D13D YOUD B3 B4WL1NG
1T COULD B3 B3C4US3 YOU D1SL1K3 D4V3, BUT TH3 COND1T1ON S33MS TO TO H4V3 PR33X1ST3D MY F1RST QU3ST1ON
4R3 YOU GO1NG TO T4LK OR SH4LL 1 CONT1NU3

[You've probably seen this sort of behavior before. She's treating you like one of her prosecuted scalemates, Karkat.]

[candyhorns]

[He frowns and hunches up his shoulders, his body language simply screaming at you to go away.]

CUT IT OUT.

Terezi and sensitivity are not well acquainted

[bl1nds33r]

YOU CONT1NU3 TO R3M41N OBST1N4NT
...
V3RY W3LL

[She attempts to prod you sharply in the side with her cane. She intends to continue until she gets a straight answer.]

oh well

[candyhorns]

OF FUCKING COURSE I'M REMAINING OBSTINATE, WHEN AM I NOT OBSTINATE.

[He'll let himself be prodded once or twice out of apathy, but after that, he'll tuck in his elbows and shove the cane away.]

[bl1nds33r]

[She resists with the cane for a moment, but eventually gives up. For now.]

1M NOT L34V1NG W1THOUT TH3 TRUTH
WH4T 1S K4RK4TS D4RK S3CR3T??
UNCOV3R1NG 1T SH4LL B3 MY N3W L1F3 GO4L

[But merely refusing to leave isn't much of a threat unless you want her to leave first. So she'll just be trying to walk as pair of fingers up your arm, their eventual goal the top of your head.]

[candyhorns]

TEREZI, FUCK OFF.

WHY ARE YOU SO DETERMINED TO KNOW ABOUT MY "DARK SECRETS", ANYWAY, YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ONLY SECRET THAT EVER MATTERED AND YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT.

[bl1nds33r]

NO

AND OTH3RW1S3 YOULL BROOD 4BOUT 1T
BROOD1NG 4BOUT TH1NGS ON YOUR OWN 1SNT PRODUCT1V3
1T JUST M4K3S YOU F33L S1CK
1 DONT W4NT YOU VOM1T1NG 4LL OV3R C4N TOWN

HOW MUCH SH1T DO YOU W4NT M3 TO G1V3 4BOUT 1T

[Fingers keep walking.]

[candyhorns]

[You're tickling him, and he really wants you to stop, but he's doing his best not to swat your hand away because, well, even being bothered is better than being ignored in favor of Dave.]

IF I VOMIT OVER CAN TOWN IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I'M DISGUSTED WITH ITS RESIDENTS, IT WILL NOTHING TO DO WITH WHETHER I'M BROODING, WHICH I'M NOT, OR IF I AM, IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, OK?

I DON'T KNOW.
HOW MUCH SHIT ARE YOU WILLING TO GIVE ME.

[bl1nds33r]

4S ON3 OF C4N TOWNS C1V1C L34D3RS, VOM1T FLOODS 4R3 V3RY MUCH MY BUSIN3SS
BUT F1N3, W3LL K33P TH4T PROBL3M ON 4 PROF3SS1ON4L L3V3L

YOU C4NT H4NDL3 TH4T MUCH SH1T
YOU WOULD B3 CRUSH3D UND3R 1TS W31GHT

[The fingers have reached your neck. Do you react?]

[candyhorns]

DO YOU ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT THE ANSWER.
OR DO YOU JUST WANT TO KNOW BECAUSE YOU'RE A NOSY MOTHERFUCKER.

[He's trying not to react, but the touch of fingers on his bare skin makes him flinch anyway. Terezi you don't understand what you're doing to him! Probably because he hasn't told you, and has only complained to himself about it. But still. ):B]

repost for FORGETTING SHE IS BLIND -_(\ ugh

[bl1nds33r]

1TS H4RD TO C4R3 WH3N 1 DONT KNOW WH4T TH3 ANSW3R 3V3N 1S
BUT 1F 1TS R34LLY BOTH3R1NG YOU TH1S MUCH 1LL M4K3 MYS3LF C4R3 PR33MPT1V3LY
1 W1LL CONT1NU3 TO C4R3 3V3N 1F 1TS STUP1D

[SHE FEELS THAT FLINCH. Suddenly both hands are actively tickling your neck! >:D]

oh oops

[candyhorns]

DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?

[and then--]

AUGH FUCK! STOP!
STOP!

[cue flailing]

oops indeed >_<

[bl1nds33r]

Y3S

[The tickling only continues.]

T3LL M3!
T3LL M3 YOUR S3CR3T!
H3H3H3H3H3

[candyhorns]

TEREZI STOP, YOU'RE TICKLING ME.

[his attempts to push you away aren't very coordinated. He may just have grabbed a boob by accident. Who even knows.]

[bl1nds33r]

ONLY 1F YOU T3LL M3333
4ND STOP F33L1NG M3 UP, WH1L3 W3R3 D1SCUSS1NG T3RMS

[Because she noticed that grab. Not that it's influencing her to stop the tickling in any way.]

[candyhorns]

I'M NOT FEELING YOU UP.

[bl1nds33r]

TH3N TH3 T3RMS 4R3 H4LFW4Y M3T 4LR34DY!
BUT!
YOU ST1LL H4V3N'T TOLD M3 YOUR S3CR3T...

[She's tickled the side of your neck enough for now--time to try under your chin.]

[candyhorns]

[OK, that's too much, and his voice is an embarrassing squeal of frustration.]

FUCK, FINE, FUCK! FINE, I GIVE UP, I GIVE UP
DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS?

[bl1nds33r]

[She pauses in the tickling to allow you to answer unimpeded... but keeps her fingers ready.]

1S TH3R3 SOM3TH1NG SP3C14L 4BOUT TOD4Y??

[Tickling: effective interrogation technique - noted.]