Birthday Meme!

[ricsaltzman]

 THE "IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!" MEME
1. Post!
2. Tag!
3. RNG: 1-10
4. Have at it!

1. Forgotten Birthday
Did everyone forget your big day? Were you really hoping for some company, or just a damn present? If only one person remembered... It'd be okay even if they're late.

2. Secret Birthday
Birthday? BAH HUMBUG. You don't want to be reminded that you're turning 50 or 500 this year. It's just another year of receding hairlines and sagging breasts. Seriously. You don't have a birthday. (Or hey, maybe you just forgot to mention it. That happens too.)

3. Expensive Birthday
Time to splurge! You only get to do this once a year, right? So everyone better bring some damn good presents for how good a bash you're throwing. Getting thrown, maybe, with Daddy and Mommy's money.

4. Double Birthday
There's nothing quite like the kinship of being born on the same day. Maybe you're twins, maybe you were cloned, maybe you just budded off asexually or something. Or, you were just lucky. Better figure out who gets to blow out the candles.

5. Surprise Birthday
Did everyone forget your birthday? This is the wrong number, isn't it? Hey... isn't it awfully quiet? Where did everyone go?

6. Senile Birthday
Birthday? Whose birthday is it?

7. Unbirthday
It's not even your birthday, but the hell with it, you want cake. And balloons and streamers and maybe a fucking pony. Well, you're going to get them. And some tea, if that's your thing. Either way, this is going to be the BEST RANDOM DAY EVER.

8. Romantic Birthday
Nothing says I love you like actually remembering when your significant other started existing. After all, this is only one of... 5? 10? Occasions of the year where you get to spend too much money spoil them.

9. Crashed Birthday
Who the hell are you? This is a private party!! Wait, what do you mean poisonous hamsters from Zanzibar are in the pantry?!

10. Deathday
Hell yeah, the day you were released from the ties of the living world. Nothing quite like it. This is an absolutely festive occasion. It's a great day to haunt someone you know! Or something.

Comments

[bl1nds33r]

[Hugs. All the hugs. She'll just sit here with you and try to stay quiet. She's not going anywhere as long as you're crying.]

[candyhorns]

IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR, I MISS GAMZEE, I MISS SOLLUX, I MISS--I MISS YOU, AND JOHN, AND JADE, AND--BEING A STUPID WIGGLER AND THINKING I COULD BE A THRESHECUTIONER, LIKE THEY WOULDN'T CULL ME THE SECOND THEY SAW MY SHITTY USELESS NUBBY HORNS, IT'S NOT FAIR, IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR.

[bl1nds33r]

[Maybe... being able to cry sometimes is helpful? She'd like to think that. She feels so useless right now. She holds you a little tighter.]

1M
1M R1GHT H3R3
YOU DONT H4V3 TO M1SS M3

[Ok, her voice just made it kinda obvious that she's crying too. Shit. Should have kept with the "shutting up now" plan.]

[candyhorns]

[he looks up, finally. are those tears on your face? oh god.

oh man. he made you cry. oh man.]

I DO, THOUGH.
I DON'T--I MEAN I THOUGHT--FUCK.

I USED TO THINK WE WERE DESTINED FOR EACH OTHER AND THEN I FUCKED UP AND DAVE IS BETTER THAN I AM AND I MISS YOU SO FUCKING MUCH.

[bl1nds33r]

[Quick! Wipe away the evidence! There, gone. She's totally not still crying. Oh damnit, there goes another one.]

1--1 DONT KNOW 4BOUT D3ST1N3D. 1 M34N. YOU--1...

H3H3H3H3H3 H4H4
W3R3 BOTH CONFUS1NG TO D34L W1TH H4H4H4
1 C4NT T3LL WH3R3 E1TH3R OF US ST4ND
D4V3S 4LL M1X3D UP TOO
W3R3 4LL P3RF3CT FOR 34CH OTH3R H4H4H4H3H3
NOBODYS B3TT3R
NOBODYS B3TT3R TH4N 4NYON3 3LS3, W3R3 4LL FUCKUPS
4H4H4H4H4

[She silently congratulated herself on sounding crazier than usual. Way to go, Terezi. A truly momentous occasion.]

[candyhorns]

WHAT THE FUCK? THAT'S NOT FUNNY, STOP LAUGHING.

[he's torn between being kind of relieved to see you being cheerful, and freaked out because you sound a tiny bit hysterical, and he also takes this opportunity to scrub the tears off his face with both sleeves pulled up over his hands.]

[bl1nds33r]

[She lets go of you finally. Sorry Karkat, she needs her hands back. So she can muffle the laughter until she actually can stop it.]

H3H3H3H3H3

[Your concerns are not something she really has an answer for, and coupled with her already emotional state, well... She'd really like to stop giggling like a maniac right now. And... that works.]

H3H3
H3
...

SORRY

[candyhorns]

[it's ok, he's gotten distracted thinking about romance again]

DAVE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE ME, THAT'S NOT PERFECT AT ALL.

I MEAN FUCK, SOMETIMES I FORGET THAT YOU LIKE ME? LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN UP WITH THAT.

[bl1nds33r]

H3H3... [No! No, stop. Bad Terezi.]

YOUR3 K1ND OF H4RD TO L1K3
H3H3H3

BUT TH4TS... TH4TS 3X4CTLY WH4T 1 W4S TRY1NG TO S4Y
1 C4NT R34LLY F1GUR3 OUT WH3R3 W3 ST4ND
4NY OF US

...H3 D1DNT L1K3 M3 4T F1RST 31TH3R
1 H4D TO PUT SOM3 3FFORT 1N
1 DONT TH1NK H3 D1SL1K3S YOU THOUGH

DO YOU L1K3 H1M??

[candyhorns]

FUCK YOU.

... I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T HATE HIM.
HE'S JUST ANNOYING.

[bl1nds33r]

H3H3H3 [That was actually funny, so she allows herself a small giggle.]

1 TH1NK TH4TS HOW MOST OF US S33M TO P3OPL3 TH4T 4R3NT US3D TO US
H3S GOT 4 LOT 1N COMMON W1TH M3
4ND 1 TH1NK TH3 TWO OF YOU H4V3 MOR3 1N COMMON TH4N 31TH3R OF YOU R34L1Z3
M4YB3 1F TH3 THR33 OF US SP3NT MOR3 T1M3 TOG3TH3R, W3 COULD F1GUR3 SOME SH1T OUT?
1M B3G1NN1NG TO SUSP3CT W3 M1GHT NOT F1T N34TLY 1NTO TH3 QU4DR4NTS THOUGH

[candyhorns]

[wait, did you just say--]

QUADRANTS?

[bl1nds33r]

Y34H, TH3YR3 TH3S3 CUSTOM4RY TROLL R3L4T1ONSH1PS
H4S OUR R3SID3NT 3XP3RT ON ROM4NC3 FORGOTT3N WH4T TH3Y 4R3 4LR34DY??
M4YB3 SOM3ON3S BEEN SP3ND1NG TOO MUCH T1M3 W1TH TH3 HUM4NS
H3H3H3H3

[candyhorns]

NO I MEAN, YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT QUADRANTS?
YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT *ME* IN QUADRANTS?

[bl1nds33r]

[She draws her knees up to her chest. Awkward question is awkward. What do. She fidgets a bit.]

Y34H 1 GU3SS 4 L1TTL3
1 M34N--Y34H
M4YB3

[candyhorns]

BUT I THOUGHT YOU AND DAVE--

[bl1nds33r]

...
1M H4V1NG TH3 S4M3 PROBL3M F1TT1NG H1M 1N

[candyhorns]

HUH?

[bl1nds33r]

[She sighs. This is just going to her sound like a freak. At least it doesn't smell like there's anyone else around.]

W3 F1GHT TOO MUCH TO B3 M4T3SPR1TS, BUT NOT SER1OUSLY 3NOUGH TO B3 C4L1GN1OUS, 4ND 1M PR3TTY SUR3 1D FL1RT 4 LOT L3SS 1F 1T W4S SOM3TH1NG P4L3R
TH3 S4M3 PROBL3M 4PPL13S TO BOTH OF YOU
OR M4YB3 1M JUST B31NG STUPID B3C4US3 1 N3V3R H4D 4 MO1R41L B3FOR3
DO YOU 4ND G4MZ33 FL1RT???

[candyhorns]

OH.

NO, WE DON'T, THAT'S GROSS
WAIT
ARE YOU CLAIMING THAT I FLIRT WITH DAVE TOO.

[bl1nds33r]

Y34H TH4TS WH4T 1 F1GUR3D

H4H4H4 NO, NO
1 W4S D3SCR1B1NG *MY* PROBL3M
YOUR 4ND D4V3S PROBL3M 1S TH4T YOU DONT 1NT3R4CT

[candyhorns]

YEAH WE DO, WE JUST NEVER GET ANYWHERE, HE DOESN'T LISTEN TO ANYTHING I SAY AND IT'S THOROUGHLY FUCKING FRUSTRATING.

[bl1nds33r]

H3H3H3 OH M4N
YOUR3 L3TT1NG H1M G3T TO YOU
STOP TRY1NG TO H4V3 S3RIOUS D1CUSS1ONS 4ND TRY TO G3T UND3R H1S SK1N 1NST34D
1TS L1K3 'M3SS1NG W1TH P3OPL3' 1S H1S ONLY FORM OF COMMUN1C4T1ON
H3 ONLY T4K3S P3OPL3 S3R1OUSLY 1F TH3Y C4N K33P UP

YOU UP FOR 1T??
4R3 YOU 4 R4D1C4L 3NOUGH DUD3 TO B34T COOLK1D 4T 4 M1NDG4M3???

[candyhorns]

I'M SHIT AT MIND GAMES, TEREZI.
I WAS DROPPED ON MY PAN AS A GRUB AND NOT ONLY DID IT STUNT THE GROWTH OF MY HORNS, IT ALSO SQUASHED OUT MY "MANIPULATIVE ASSHOLERY" GLAND.