Birthday Meme!

[ricsaltzman]

 THE "IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!" MEME
1. Post!
2. Tag!
3. RNG: 1-10
4. Have at it!

1. Forgotten Birthday
Did everyone forget your big day? Were you really hoping for some company, or just a damn present? If only one person remembered... It'd be okay even if they're late.

2. Secret Birthday
Birthday? BAH HUMBUG. You don't want to be reminded that you're turning 50 or 500 this year. It's just another year of receding hairlines and sagging breasts. Seriously. You don't have a birthday. (Or hey, maybe you just forgot to mention it. That happens too.)

3. Expensive Birthday
Time to splurge! You only get to do this once a year, right? So everyone better bring some damn good presents for how good a bash you're throwing. Getting thrown, maybe, with Daddy and Mommy's money.

4. Double Birthday
There's nothing quite like the kinship of being born on the same day. Maybe you're twins, maybe you were cloned, maybe you just budded off asexually or something. Or, you were just lucky. Better figure out who gets to blow out the candles.

5. Surprise Birthday
Did everyone forget your birthday? This is the wrong number, isn't it? Hey... isn't it awfully quiet? Where did everyone go?

6. Senile Birthday
Birthday? Whose birthday is it?

7. Unbirthday
It's not even your birthday, but the hell with it, you want cake. And balloons and streamers and maybe a fucking pony. Well, you're going to get them. And some tea, if that's your thing. Either way, this is going to be the BEST RANDOM DAY EVER.

8. Romantic Birthday
Nothing says I love you like actually remembering when your significant other started existing. After all, this is only one of... 5? 10? Occasions of the year where you get to spend too much money spoil them.

9. Crashed Birthday
Who the hell are you? This is a private party!! Wait, what do you mean poisonous hamsters from Zanzibar are in the pantry?!

10. Deathday
Hell yeah, the day you were released from the ties of the living world. Nothing quite like it. This is an absolutely festive occasion. It's a great day to haunt someone you know! Or something.

Comments

[candyhorns]

OH.

IT'S MY WRIGGLING DAY.

[bl1nds33r]

[She blinks.]

1T 1S??
1 H4V3NT R34LLY B33N K33P1NG TR4CK OF TH3 D4YS
TH4T SOM3HOW JUST S33M3D MOR3 LIK3 D4V3S TH1NG...
1 WOND3R WH3N M1N3 1S...

[She pauses, considering. Her hands are back to resting on her cane.]

YOUR WR1GGL1NG D4Y 1SNT 4 GOOD TH1NG?

[candyhorns]

NO.

[bl1nds33r]

WHY NOT
4ND DONT S4Y 1TS B3C4US3 1TS YOUR WR1GGL1NG D4Y
1T WOULDNT 4NSW3R TH3 QU3ST1ON 4ND WOULD B3 F4R TOO M3LODR4M4T1C

[candyhorns]

[He'd already opened his mouth to say exactly that, so it takes him a second to come up with a better answer.

Except, because he's Karkat, he ends up just saying it anyway.]

BUT IT *IS* BECAUSE IT'S MY WRIGGLING DAY, IT'S A DAY SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED TO COMMEMORATE THE INCEPTION OF MY NUMEROUS FAILURES AND FAULTS AND I FUCKING HATE IT, IT'S THE WORST DAY OF THE SWEEP, AND THAT WAS ALL TRUE EVEN BEFORE I TURNED SIX AND WE STARTED PLAYING A STUPID FUCKING GAME THAT KILLED--HALF OF MY FRIENDS, AND--BASICALLY EXPANDED THE HORIZONS WITHIN WHICH I COULD SHOW OFF MY ENDLESS CAPACITY FOR RUINING EVERYTHING, AND IT ALSO MEANS WE'RE A SWEEP CLOSER TO WHATEVER COMES NEXT, AND WHAT IF IT'S JUST THE SAME THING, BUT WORSE? LIKE.

FUCK. [he doesn't really want to talk about this, he decides.]

SO YEAH.
I'M SEVEN.
CONGRATULATIONS TO ME.
I'M SURE WE ARE ALL HOLDING OUR BREATH TO SEE WHAT GRAND NEW FUCKUPS I CAN ACHIEVE.

[bl1nds33r]

[Terezi sighs a tiny bit. It's not so much that she hasn't heard it all before, but more just... she kind of gets what you mean. Not to the extremes that you take it, but... yeah. Her response takes a while too.]

1M NOT
...
1TS 4LW4YS 4M4Z3D M3 HOW YOU C4N F1ND TH3 SM4LL3ST D3T41LS TO 'REDEEM' SOM3 MOV13 OR BOOK OR WH4T3V3R SO LONG 4S 1TS 4 ROM4NC3, BUT YOU ONLY 3V3R NOT1C3 YOUR OWN FUCKUPS. 3V3RYON3 FUCKS UP--NO, YOU KNOW WH4T? 1M NOT GO1NG DOWN TH4T RO4D. G3N3R4L1Z4T1ONS C4N B3 OV3RRUL3D TOO 34S1LY W1TH OTH3R G3N3R4L1Z4T1ONS

TH3 R3ST OF US WOULD H4V3 PL4Y3D TH3 G4M3 W1TH OR W1THOUT YOU
W1THOUT YOU, 1 WOULD H4V3 3ND3D UP TH3 L34D3R
TH1NK 4BOUT TH4T FOR 4 M1NUT3
YOU S4W WH4T 1 D1D TO YOUR H1V3

4ND 3V3N 1F 1 W4S 4W3SOM3 W3D 4LL B3 D34D 4NYW4Y
B3C4US3 L1K3 H3LL 4NYON3 3LS3 WOULD H4V3 B33N 4BL3 TO C4LM G4MZ33 DOWN
...
M4YB3 K4N4Y4 COULD H4V3 T4K3N H1M OUT
PO1NT 1S, TH3R3D B3 4 LOT L3SS OF US W1THOUT YOU

YOU FUCK UP
BUT YOU DO GOOD TH1NGS TOO
1TD B3 N1C3 1F YOU NOT1C3D TH4T ONC3 1N 4 WH1L3, 1F ONLY FOR YOU

[candyhorns]

THAT'S NOT TRUE, YOU'RE SMART, YOU THINK SHIT THROUGH, THAT'S WHAT LEADERS ARE SUPPOSED TO DO AND I NEVER DID THAT, EVERYTHING I DID THAT HAD ANY EFFECT EITHER WAY WAS BY ACCIDENT, I NEVER DID ANYTHING ON PURPOSE.

[bl1nds33r]

H4H4H4
YOU KNOW WH4T 1M GOOD 4T
M3SS1NG W1TH P3OPL3
YOU KNOW WH4T 1M NOT GOOD 4T
H3LP1NG P3OPL3
1M NOT 3V3N GOOD 4T D1SP3NS1NG JUST1C3
DO YOU KNOW HOW M4NY SW33PS 1T TOOK M3 TO F1N4LLY T4K3 VR1SK4 OUT
1 HOP3 SOM3BODY DO3S, B3C4US3 1 LOST TR4CK
1 W4S BUSY H1D1NG 1N 4 TR33, H4NG1NG STUFF3D 4N1M4LS

YOU 4CTU4LLY TR13D TO H3LP
4ND TH3N, FUCK, LOOK 4T TH3 H3LP1NG TH4T H4PP3N3D
1 S4T 4ROUND 4ND M3SS3D W1TH P3OPL3
1 D1R3CTLY GOT ON3 T1M3L1N3'S JOHN K1LL3D--1 MURD3R3D SOM3BODY FOR K1CKS--1ND1R3CTLY L3T VR1SK4 G3T 4W4Y W1TH SO MUCH SH1T--WH3N W4S 1 4CTU4LLY H3LPFUL

[candyhorns]

[he makes a couple of helpless little gestures with both hands and when he opens his mouth, all that comes out is a choked-off sob, and he buries his face in his knees to try and hide it.]

[bl1nds33r]

[Another little sigh. See? She's just shit at helping. It's more fun to mess with people, that actually works. She fidgets a bit.]

FUCK 1T

[You're getting a hug, Karkat, she doesn't care if you want it or not.]

[candyhorns]

[he just lets himself be hugged. it's not like he has any further depths of embarrassment to sink to, after all.]

I MISS MY LUSUS.

[bl1nds33r]

[You get a couple little pats as she tries to think of something that won't make everything worse.]

WH4T W4S YOUR LUSUS L1K3
D1D YOU T4LK 4 LOT

[candyhorns]

HE WAS A PAIN IN THE ASS, HE YELLED AT ME ALL THE TIME.

I LIKED HIM A LOT.

[bl1nds33r]

H3 SOUNDS L1K3 H3 W4S L1V3LY COMP4NY

[candyhorns]

[karkat makes a truly pathetic sniffling noise at that, and his voice cracks on answering.]

YEAH.

YEAH, HE WAS.

[bl1nds33r]

[Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. She's just... going to tilt her face away a bit, to make sure you can't see the drops of teal she smells starting to form. Why is everything so fucked up.]

[Just... just... have a pat. She's going to shut up now, because she keeps making it worse.]

somehow it feels like a lapse on my part that this is my only crying icon

[candyhorns]

[don't worry, he's got his face firmly buried, because he's crying in earnest now, and it's not like you haven't smelt him cry before, but he's still ashamed.]

[bl1nds33r]

[Hugs. All the hugs. She'll just sit here with you and try to stay quiet. She's not going anywhere as long as you're crying.]

[candyhorns]

IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR, I MISS GAMZEE, I MISS SOLLUX, I MISS--I MISS YOU, AND JOHN, AND JADE, AND--BEING A STUPID WIGGLER AND THINKING I COULD BE A THRESHECUTIONER, LIKE THEY WOULDN'T CULL ME THE SECOND THEY SAW MY SHITTY USELESS NUBBY HORNS, IT'S NOT FAIR, IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR.

[bl1nds33r]

[Maybe... being able to cry sometimes is helpful? She'd like to think that. She feels so useless right now. She holds you a little tighter.]

1M
1M R1GHT H3R3
YOU DONT H4V3 TO M1SS M3

[Ok, her voice just made it kinda obvious that she's crying too. Shit. Should have kept with the "shutting up now" plan.]

[candyhorns]

[he looks up, finally. are those tears on your face? oh god.

oh man. he made you cry. oh man.]

I DO, THOUGH.
I DON'T--I MEAN I THOUGHT--FUCK.

I USED TO THINK WE WERE DESTINED FOR EACH OTHER AND THEN I FUCKED UP AND DAVE IS BETTER THAN I AM AND I MISS YOU SO FUCKING MUCH.

[bl1nds33r]

[Quick! Wipe away the evidence! There, gone. She's totally not still crying. Oh damnit, there goes another one.]

1--1 DONT KNOW 4BOUT D3ST1N3D. 1 M34N. YOU--1...

H3H3H3H3H3 H4H4
W3R3 BOTH CONFUS1NG TO D34L W1TH H4H4H4
1 C4NT T3LL WH3R3 E1TH3R OF US ST4ND
D4V3S 4LL M1X3D UP TOO
W3R3 4LL P3RF3CT FOR 34CH OTH3R H4H4H4H3H3
NOBODYS B3TT3R
NOBODYS B3TT3R TH4N 4NYON3 3LS3, W3R3 4LL FUCKUPS
4H4H4H4H4

[She silently congratulated herself on sounding crazier than usual. Way to go, Terezi. A truly momentous occasion.]

[candyhorns]

WHAT THE FUCK? THAT'S NOT FUNNY, STOP LAUGHING.

[he's torn between being kind of relieved to see you being cheerful, and freaked out because you sound a tiny bit hysterical, and he also takes this opportunity to scrub the tears off his face with both sleeves pulled up over his hands.]

[bl1nds33r]

[She lets go of you finally. Sorry Karkat, she needs her hands back. So she can muffle the laughter until she actually can stop it.]

H3H3H3H3H3

[Your concerns are not something she really has an answer for, and coupled with her already emotional state, well... She'd really like to stop giggling like a maniac right now. And... that works.]

H3H3
H3
...

SORRY

[candyhorns]

[it's ok, he's gotten distracted thinking about romance again]

DAVE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE ME, THAT'S NOT PERFECT AT ALL.

I MEAN FUCK, SOMETIMES I FORGET THAT YOU LIKE ME? LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN UP WITH THAT.