Is that why you toe the line? Sometimes networking with the Batclan - [He's not calling them a family. The Bat-branding sometimes feels weirdly culty.] - and sometimes with the villains?
Alright. I'll bite. Where do you need this hole dug? I can't do it myself, but I have some old henchmen I can still call on for that sort of labor.
Sometimes we have to work with people whose values, goals, or missions align with our own to achieve the best outcome. If we're being honest I'd rather not get involved with either side if I can help it but that's always been the price of doing business in Gotham.
No henchmen. This requires more competency than the average footman. I'll handle things personally.
[ gotta do EVERYTHING around here my goddamn self, etc. it's fine. she's used to it. (she kind of prefers it that way, even, if only so she can complain about how she can't count on anyone anyway. it's a whole cycle.) ]
Seriously, though, you still use henchmen? I tried that for a while. More trouble than they were worth.
[Drury might have taken offense to the competency thing, but incompetency has pretty much become his brand ever since that night that Batgirl took him down. Could have been worse. Could have been that little blonde Bat in the red dress and green cape. This, he could still come back from a little bit.]
I get that they've fallen out of vogue - unless you're Penguin and his flock of exotic birds - but yeah. They're handy to have around while I'm skulking in the shadows, taking bits of the score left behind when Batman crashes the party of whoever the A-list, offending criminal is on any given night.
[He's a parasite, they're his lesser parasites, and he's made his peace with that. Mostly.]
[ if it makes him feel any better, she thinks everyone is incompetent. ]
Mine were always too noisy. After a while I realized they were only slowing me down, so they had to go. I really went all in, though, so hopefully the were able to find gigs with slightly less ridiculous costumes. This was back during the more theatrical days.
[ and now she's got a bunch of orphan runaway teenagers and d-list criminals. ]
[It probably helps a little bit. It's not that Drury's a bad criminal, but he generally tends to try and exceed his grasp a bit too far. Not that he'd ever have the wherewithal to admit it to himself, but even if Batgirl hadn't been in the picture, Drury probably hadn't been destined for criminal greatness.]
Pretty sure a couple of them went to work for Catman for a bit before they realized they didn't like his big African hunter shtick. None of yours ever came to me, but even henchmen have their hierarchies. I stopped giving mine costumes, though. They just need black turtlenecks and easy black pants. Lululemon yoga pants tend to be the best. I give them all little moth pins though. It's something.
Ooh. Hmm. Not the Joker, because you could be brutally murdered at any time, and henchmen are never the ones that come back to life when a worldwide crisis starts bringing the A-listers back to life.
The Penguin...really only hires women, and I'm not smart enough to be one of the Riddler's henchmen. Freeze is out because frostbite is real.
No offense to you - I like you a lot, but you're a perfectionist and I'm far from perfect. You'd dropkick me off a roof ten minutes into my having been under your employ.
Black Mask is psycho, Mad Hatter's a perv, and Scarecrow kinda terrifies me.
...Two-Face seems like a safe option, as long as he's not flipping to find out if he needs to put a bullet through my skull.
And I appreciate the use of the word "perfectionist" over what I'm pretty sure I am more commonly known as: a fickle, judgmental, untrustworthy bitch who also just so happens to be the best in the game.
Oh, Isis, for sure. She knows she's my favorite and she'd feel entitled to first dibs based on that fact alone as if to snub the others. She and Dutchess have a little bit of a competitive thing going on.
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bakerstreet2023-09-15 12:01 pm
selina kyle, dc comics
2. Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
3. Just saw him climb out of the dumpster at CVS and start walking down the street like it was completely normal.
4. Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend.
5. I feel like if the cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
[ or, idk, choose your own adventure and wildcard it. ]
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Alright. I'll bite. Where do you need this hole dug? I can't do it myself, but I have some old henchmen I can still call on for that sort of labor.
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No henchmen. This requires more competency than the average footman. I'll handle things personally.
[ gotta do EVERYTHING around here my goddamn self, etc. it's fine. she's used to it. (she kind of prefers it that way, even, if only so she can complain about how she can't count on anyone anyway. it's a whole cycle.) ]
Seriously, though, you still use henchmen? I tried that for a while. More trouble than they were worth.
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I get that they've fallen out of vogue - unless you're Penguin and his flock of exotic birds - but yeah. They're handy to have around while I'm skulking in the shadows, taking bits of the score left behind when Batman crashes the party of whoever the A-list, offending criminal is on any given night.
[He's a parasite, they're his lesser parasites, and he's made his peace with that. Mostly.]
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Mine were always too noisy. After a while I realized they were only slowing me down, so they had to go. I really went all in, though, so hopefully the were able to find gigs with slightly less ridiculous costumes. This was back during the more theatrical days.
[ and now she's got a bunch of orphan runaway teenagers and d-list criminals. ]
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Pretty sure a couple of them went to work for Catman for a bit before they realized they didn't like his big African hunter shtick. None of yours ever came to me, but even henchmen have their hierarchies. I stopped giving mine costumes, though. They just need black turtlenecks and easy black pants. Lululemon yoga pants tend to be the best. I give them all little moth pins though. It's something.
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The Penguin...really only hires women, and I'm not smart enough to be one of the Riddler's henchmen. Freeze is out because frostbite is real.
No offense to you - I like you a lot, but you're a perfectionist and I'm far from perfect. You'd dropkick me off a roof ten minutes into my having been under your employ.
Black Mask is psycho, Mad Hatter's a perv, and Scarecrow kinda terrifies me.
...Two-Face seems like a safe option, as long as he's not flipping to find out if he needs to put a bullet through my skull.
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And I appreciate the use of the word "perfectionist" over what I'm pretty sure I am more commonly known as: a fickle, judgmental, untrustworthy bitch who also just so happens to be the best in the game.
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which one would eat you first?
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I'll send one of the girls by to make sure he gets home.
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