tfln

[gutties]

That's not really a thing that happens, is it?

Comments

[catsuiting]

Cats are rather sensitive, so it makes sense, I guess.

I've always had cats around. My mother never met a cat she didn't like.

[dead_tongue]

yeah. they pick up on vibes.

like an animal hoarder or just like a weird old lady?

[catsuiting]

Somewhere between animal hoarder and weird old lady, except my mother was only in her 20s when she offed herself. So you know, there's a lot there.

[dead_tongue]

that's rough.

[catsuiting]

It is what it is.

[ it's only traumatized her forever and will always be a reason as to why she's all kinds of fucked up. no biggie. ]

She liked cats, so now I take in all the neighborhood strays. My sister is the same way.

[dead_tongue]

have you ever tried to talk to her?

oh it's good you have a sister.

[catsuiting]

I don't think any good would come of that.

[ her mother is a box in the furthest corner of her closet: a diary, some photos, the rosary she'd been wearing just before she did what she did. things that selina can pull out of hiding when she wants to hurt herself with those memories, things more often buried away. it's not exactly "out of sight, out of mind" but it helps her think about it less. ]

Why good?

[dead_tongue]

fair enough. some people like the closure.

because then you're not alone in your grief.

[catsuiting]

I know why she did what she did, no closure needed.

[ and she shuts that down real fast. ]

I think Maggie lucked out. She still very young when our parents died. She doesn't remember them as clearly and that's for the best. I don't mind being alone in my grief if it spares her.

[dead_tongue]

good.

that sounds like what a big sister ought to feel.

[catsuiting]

I've been a lot of things in my life, but I'm always her sister. It's just me and her now, she's my only tie in this whole world. I've never been a very sister to her. Not in ways that matter when you're the one affected by it but I try.

[dead_tongue]

I think trying matters to people.

[catsuiting]

Sure, but "trying" doesn't mean shit when you're 15 years old and your sister is so embarrassed with what her life's become, she avoids you to spare you. Doesn't mean shit when a few years down the line when she, a literal criminal, avoids you because her life is now too messy. It's hard to see it from the other perspective when you just feel abandoned.

Families are messy.

[dead_tongue]

captchaaa