I had a crappy guidance counselor.

[iamthesockpirelestat]

BAKERSTREET CAREER DAY

From the invisible to the glamorous, all work contributes to this nutty world we call our own. No profession's too big or too small to count! Know what that means? We do!

It's a multiversal job fair, and your character's here to recruit for (or warn against) their field.


HOW TO PLAY
- Instead of the traditional subject header, describe in brief what it is your character does. Or doesn't. Clear up misconceptions, offer the whole company line, etc.
- Interested parties inquire within.
- Did somebody bring the applications? I hope I at least get some company pens out of all this..

Comments

Recruiting members for the Clergy of Sin and the Ghost project.

[sisterimperator]

Loyalty to Satan is a must.

[nutkrusher]

Yeah, that's gonna be a hard pass from me. I've got a policy of kicking Satanoids in the balls.

[Beat.]

Well, technically, it was a dude who killed Lucifer and stole his job, but he has the same vibes.

[sisterimperator]

[ Her brow slowly crept up. ]

Let me get this straight. You're angry with a certain "Satanoid," who supposedly "killed" Lucifer and then took over as the ruler of hell. And then you kicked said "Satanoid" in the balls.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

[nutkrusher]

Well, not anymore I'm not. He's good now. Good and decapitated. Bet he wishes he could die now.

Still, the forces of Hell, or the Netherrealm, or whatever you wanna call it...just generally not something I'm down with.

[sisterimperator]

Let's say that you sincerely believe that you tore evil incarnate limb from limb.

Evil will never sleep. More evil will simply take its place.

Also, why did you come to bother me just to tell me you're not interested? Are you about to start Bible-thumping next?

[nutkrusher]

Sure will, and I'll kick their asses, too.

But nah, the gods I know don't really go for the whole organized worship thing. Which is good, because they're mostly kinda lame.

Except Fujin, that dude's cool.

[sisterimperator]

Feel free to try until the end of days. The more sacrificial lambs, the better.

Ah. The deities of your plane sound pathetic. Your misplaced confidence no longer comes as a surprise.

[acaseofyou]

Would Satan be cool if I stayed friends with snake cultists?

[sisterimperator]

He'd be perfectly fine with it. The worship of false idols is in line with his vision.

[acaseofyou]

Oh, good, because that would've been a dealbreaker. Though I do figure there's some similar goals going on, as far as tempting serpents goes.

What all is involved with sin clergy? I've got sex, drugs, and rock and roll covered to varying degrees, but I don't think I'd look good in a habit, even if it's sinful.

[sisterimperator]

We do like tempting serpents. I've personally never met one, but scripture-wise, snakes with silver tongues are held in great esteem.

We don't always wear the habit, actually. We're not too strict on uniform. [ She gestured to her black latex dress. ] It's nice to know you have a head start on sex, drugs, and rock and roll, though. Plus points in particular with regard to rock and roll, as that's the most essential part, aside from the Devil worship.

As a Sister of Sin, you'd basically live a life of prayer, ritual, and debauchery, as well as serve the Papa Emeritus. Consequently, you'd be supporting the Ghost project.

[acaseofyou]

I think they're too Egyptian to care about scripture, but they are very good at the tempting. They have their own casino in Vegas and everything.

You do look very good in that. [ Even if it's not quite Birdie's normal style, as evidenced by her looking like she walked off a community college production of Hair. ] It's nice to know that's the main focus. Admittedly, though, my rocks and rolls lean more toward acoustic sets and getting blacklisted for being a communist than Devil worship.

Well, I can get behind the debauchery. Does serving go with the Ghost project, or are they separate?

[sisterimperator]

Impressive. They say that the love of money is the root of all evil - I disagree, but that's a topic for another time - so Vegas is a very good place to start an evil empire.

Thank you. [ Birdie looked quite wholesome, but Sister knew that it was the quiet ones. ] If you have good taste in music, then it doesn't matter what sort of rock and roll you're into.

It goes hand in hand, yes. The Ghost project is the culmination of the Clergy's efforts, after all.

😌

[littlesunshine]

[ what is it with this woman always looking different ages? if she could be young again overnight why couldn’t she make the old bastard less old and stinky? >:L

copia is clearly not ready for career day. he’s wearing the same maroon jogging suit he’s been lounging in since yesterday and his hair is a mess. in his hands he sips a kid’s orange juice box. did he sleep at all or did he stay up playing retro videogames again? (he stayed up).

he really only got up early to sulk over to wherever sister imperator was impera-ting with silent menace to whine about how he didn’t feel like going to career day or being very ~pope of darkness~ today, but tripped up and stared with quirked brow when he saw the seestor before him looked the way she did in photos he’d seen of back when she and nih— record scratch nope, not going there.

instead, he comments vaguely ] Huh.

[ another drawn out sip ] Is that a new moisturizer you’re using?

he's here ♥

[sisterimperator]

[ The first thing she saw was the white iris - the eye of the bloodline. The next was a blinding flash of dark light, as if she had been the one punched to her senses. While meeting Nihil had felt like two puzzle pieces falling into place, easy and exhilarating, meeting Copia felt like the gears of the Monstrance Clock grinding against themselves, screeching in violence to assert a direction - until they all came together, buckling and warping, to make their own rhythm. A ticking that was not linear, and not meant to be understood by logic, but by unholy grace.

She reeled back, just as Nihil had flinched when he received his gift, and she blindly reached out to Copia - both of them. The one in her womb, and the one before her.

A hand alighted on her stomach while the other came to brush through his hair, already graying. ]

If I look younger, it's because I am.

[ She smiled up at him. ]

Copia.

*strides in with boombox on shoulder like a champ*

[littlesunshine]

[ throwing the empty juice box over his shoulder, he considers her more carefully. the nicer sister imperator got the more he liked and felt close to her but also, the more suspicious he was that he wouldn't end up like his predecessors (aka his brothers), half/step or otherwise. not that he understands this at all. so far nothing he does is good enough and nihil's flatulent ghost is a jerk he can't satisfy. (would it be better if he knew who is parents were? probably not).

the new pope ponders for a moment - how young is she? what does she remember? is this an opportunity disguised as very confusing lesson from the universe? is he being tested by the morning star?

he is feeling petulantly averse to being a performing monkey today, because saltarian is quietly threatening that he won't be around much longer and sister imperator was being cryptic in a disconcertingly extra way, and forget nihil, nothing he does seems to make him proud or more confident in his successor. and why should he have faith in him? as far as copia knows, he is an outsider filling a position that was previously hereditary at a time when the clergy was at a low. why should anyone believe in him?

he ran a hand through his hair self-consciosuly ]

Well you seem very...refreshed. No invigorated. This is a good look on you.

[ he attempts to maintain eye contact at this level of self-conscious doubt he was feeling. he could fake it on stage. put on a persona that was what was expected of him. it was really behind the scenes, and he'd never felt like he could like to sister. the weird part was, she was the only person it actually bothered him to lie to or be fake around.

he folded his arms around his chest. ] You're not...mad that I'm not ready for career day?

[sisterimperator]

[ How no one could piece together that Copia was part of the bloodline was clearly the work of the Devil. The eye made it glaringly obvious (pun possibly intended) - but Sister had always been blessed/cursed by Satan in the clairvoyance department, and so could see and understand things and events that were meant to be set in motion when others couldn't. That was why she'd known that Nihil was the next Papa Emeritus the moment he'd walked through that door looking like a lost little lamb - and Copia reminded her of him now. Nihil had been timid, lost, and unsure, and his son... he was cheeky, cheerful despite his burdens, but just as docile.

She let out a soft sigh. It looked like she had her work cut out for her in the future in terms of being the Evil Shepherd. ]

Thank you, my dear.

No, I'm not angry. I'm just - happy to see you. [ She almost stuttered, almost tripped on her words - not very common for one Sister Imperator, but that was because she was not yet used to being a mother. When she loved, she loved fiercely, but this younger self was still uncertain of what to say to her son, or how to express that she adored him. She knew that one day, she'd be able to dote on him as much as she wanted. ]

But you seem... [ Again, she stumbled on her words, as she ran her fingers through his silvery hair. ] Older than I expected. [ She traced the crow's feet around his eyes, a frown tugging at her lips. Like a mother would save her own child from digging a grave... ] You need to take care of yourself. Juice boxes aren't all that healthy, you know.

[littlesunshine]

[ but you saw me yesterday and were mostly preoccupied by our resident geriatric. copia repressed a heavy side-eye and decided to hold that against nihil and not the sister. aside from indirectly causing him to worry that he was about to die via "jesus is coming" references that were...not about his death at all, sister had always seemed to be suspiciously on his side.

ah yes, sister's nagging mother-mode. to be expected. why did he not illicit the same rage from her others would under the same circumstances? he continued to wonder.

they should probably have family therapy sessions, or he would continue to thing he was the only one wondering/intuiting such things and cast it aside.

he frowned at the idea that juice wasn't healthy. ] I don't know, I just eat what's in the fridge. If it isn't healthy why do we keep buying it? [ he isn't trying to be difficult, he's just used to consuming whatever is there and older sister kept indulging him. hence his confusion. ]

Right... well. That's true. I was learning self-defense techniques from Saltarian but then he stopped acting like a Jedi master and got scary.

[ awkward silence ]

Its a very rare and special form of training.

[sisterimperator]

[ To be fair, the resident geriatric was corporeal and noncorporeal in all the ways where it was a bother rather than an advantage, and so someone needed to baby/ghost-sit him... Not that she'd know that just yet.

Sister once again frowned at her older self. Why was she stocking the mausoleum fridges with juice boxes for her only child...? Ah, well, if he looked like he was enjoying himself, she knew she couldn't say no. Maybe she'd get him chocolate milk instead next time for a change. ]

Why don't you tell me what you want and I'll have the staff stock up? Or we could go shopping after Career Day's over.

[ ...Saltarian? Jedi master? She didn't know who that was and was almost 10 years too early in the future to know about Star Wars, so she just looked at him as if he were speaking in tongues. Anyway - ]

How have you been, Copia? [ She took his gloved hand, giving it a fond squeeze. He was so precious, she couldn't take it. How did her future self stop herself from fussing over him constantly? ]

[halfofit]

Can't say I've had the best of experiences with "clergy folks". Too stuck up.

I can't say I'm familiar with this "satan" of yours. Unfortunately my loyalty lies with Gammon the Grey.

[sisterimperator]

You do get those types.

Satan - Lucifer, the Lightbringer, the Morning Star - the first fallen angel. The Devil.

Your turn. Who is Gammon the Grey?

[halfofit]

Never heard of him.

He's the ruler of Purgatory. A god of balance. One of few celestials that doesn't have a horn in my side. He helped me out big time some 200 years ago.

[sisterimperator]

I'm sure you have, just by another name. Evil exists wherever you go.

Ah, neutrality. [ A smirk tugged at her lips. ] They say that committing sins of omission is the same as doing evil.

[halfofit]

Where I'm from we have three gods of evil and nine circles of hell, each ruled by a different infernal lord. My father was one of them. Evil is too great to just be contained by one. There are many aspects of it.

Gammon believes that by balancing good and evil acts, one archives harmony. Some would consider that controversial. I don't agree, but then I'm a special case. I have served both sides.

[sisterimperator]

It is similar where I am from. Both evil and good have different aspects, different servants. However, when it all boils down to it, there is one Holy Trinity and one Unholy Trinity.

There are many even in my world who believe that without darkness, there is no light - without pain, there is no pleasure. No one seems to want to invite the darkness, though. No one except people like us, who acknowledge it as part of existence.