Feed me tacos and call me pretty.

[enya]

HOW TO SEDUCE THEM

It's like having a cheat code for winning their heart when you know all of their weaknesses!

How to play.
- We're out of our blank top level era.
- Instead, in the subject line, drop what would make your character character go feral for somebody.
- In come the replies where folks either try to sweep them off their feet or make them feel like garbage for their garbage tastes/

Comments

[guncle]

Heh, now you're askin' the wrong guy. I was just talking about what'll get you laid.

[hakushon]

[ lndajnflsmmskabfksla ]

O-Oh...


Do.

[ okay this is probably a stupid question, but. ]

Do you not sleep with people you like...?

[guncle]

[Goddamnit. This kid's so hopeless it's actually getting kind of charming. Iwai shakes his head even as a smile once again spreads across his face.]

I've always had bigger shit on my mind than crushes. Just never got around to having that many in the first place.

[hakushon]

[ maybe shouhei is a bit of a hopeless romantic... but he'd hoped anyone he slept with liked him at least a little. ]

So... you just do it with anyone who will?

[guncle]

[Iwai just fancies himself a ruthless cynic, that's all.]

I ain't desperate, kid. If they look good, got a good head on their shoulders, make me laugh - I'll give 'em a try. But I doubt that's what you mean by "like", huh?

[hakushon]

[ shouhei scratches at his cheek in thought. ]

Well... No, I think that counts. There's different degrees to "like," anyway. Like — obviously if you meet someone at a club or bar, you're not gonna know their whole life before you spend the night with them, but there's still something about them you like enough to take them home.

[guncle]

Really? 'Cause it sounded to me like you been obsessing over somebody you got no idea how to proposition, was I wrong about that?

[hakushon]

[ he stiffens a little. ]

It's not an obsession. [ it kind of is. ] I just... admire! They're way out of my league anyway, so it's useless.

[guncle]

Nah, no such thing as leagues unless you convince yourself there are. Everybody's got different tastes, and nobody finds themselves as hot as the people they wanna fuck... I mean, unless they're a real fuckin' weirdo.

[hakushon]

That's also very easy for someone with confidence to say.

[guncle]

So what's stoppin' you from being confident if even a old geezer like me can do it? Huh?

[hakushon]

Old geezer? You?? How old even are you? 40???

[guncle]

[Okay, yeah, he officially likes this kid.]

In my 40s, let's leave it at that.

[hakushon]

That's not even that old! You're talking like you're 80 or something.

[guncle]

Alright, alright, so what's the insecurity about, then? You think you're ugly? Not cool enough?

[hakushon]

Did you have to offer those suggestions so quickly...

[guncle]

Short? Unathletic? Poor? Clumsy? Boring?

[This is to prove a point, honestly.]

[hakushon]

—Hey, I'm average size!

[guncle]

Good, so you won't just agree with anything I throw at you. That's a start.

[hakushon]

If you were trying to make me feel better, couldn't you throw compliments at me instead??

[guncle]

You're cute. Only reason you find it so hard to pick up is 'cause you're getting in your own way.

[hakushon]

[ mumble mumble ] I know I'm not ugly... I'm just. [ mumble mumble mumble ] I'm young. I don't have a lot of [ MUMBLE MUMBLE ] experience.

[guncle]

[Ohhhhhh.]

So you figured you'd take me up on an easy offer, but it turned out not to be so easy after all?

[hakushon]

[ SPUTTERING— ]

I wasn't-?! That wasn't a proposition!!

[guncle]

Never crossed your mind? "Hey, this old guy's not too demanding and probably has tons of experience, I'll talk to him and see what happens," that sorta thing?