The Criminal AU Meme

[cerebel]

THE CRIMINAL AU MEME

Warning: This meme will contain violent content and possible triggers.



HOW TO PLAY:
1) Post a comment below, detailing your character and canon. For best results, DO NOT LEAVE THIS COMMENT BLANK; pick a role, or an AU, or write up a little on what you'd like to explore with your character.
2) Tag around and make magic happen.
3) If you get stuck, use RNG to select from the options below.

THE ROLE.
1) Criminal. (The one who committed the act.)
2) Law enforcement. (Cop, FBI, prison guard.)
3) Witness. (What did you see?)
4) Victim. (Probably not applicable in the case of murder. … Probably.)
5) Lawyer, judge, or paralegal. (Participant in the legal system.)
6) Private security. (Unaffiliated, but with an interest in keeping your client safe. Or in getting your target caught.)
7) Other. (Let your imagination go wild.)

THE CRIME.
1) ROBBERY. The crime of stealing via force or threat or fear.
You need the money. You're desperate. You have the gun, the convenience store is right there, and everything will be better once you've finished the job.

Or maybe you've been hired. Provide a little intimidation, and someone else will take care of all your problems.

Or it's a thrill. Rolling across the country, robbing banks as you go. A Bonnie & Clyde crime spree, and it can only end one way.

2) BURGLARY. Illegal entry into a building for the purposes of committing theft.
Non-violence, for you; you're just going to break in, take this one thing. Maybe a television, to sell for the cash. Maybe some jewelry, a computer.

Or maybe you're a master thief, dangling from a wire into a museum. Sliding through the air ducts of a skyscraper in search of a particular little item.

3) GRAND THEFT AUTO. The criminal act of stealing a motor vehicle.
You know your cars. And you can steal one in under 60 seconds. Better hope you don't get tripped up with one of those newfangled security systems.

4) MURDER. The act of killing another.
He had to die. He had to, and the guilt of knowing where you buried the body, of knowing that the police are coming after you -- it's starting to wear down your sanity.

5) SERIAL MURDER. A crime involving the killing of three or more people over a period of more than a month.
You have a drive to kill. Again, and again. Nothing satisfies it, nothing stops it. Maybe you hate yourself. Maybe you hate the human scum who only exist to go under your knife.

Or maybe you're a professional hit man. You've killed dozens, you know how it goes. It's just business.

6) CONSPIRACY. An agreement between two or more persons to break the law at some time in the future.
Mafia, Yakuza, crime families who keep their operations quiet under pain of death, dishonor, betrayal of the family. You're part of one of these operations, whether as a patriarch or a peon.

7) FRAUD. Intentional deception made for personal gain.
Blackmail. Cover-ups. Insider trading -- the marks of corporate crime. Perhaps you're a CEO who thinks they can do whatever they want. Perhaps your business is on the rocks and you just need a little time to make your golden parachute before you ditch it.

Or maybe you meant to destroy it. Maybe you're a professional con man, and you're stepping away from your latest conquest with plenty of cash in hand.

8) KIDNAPPING. The false imprisonment of another person against their will.
Do you do it for the ransom? For the money? For revenge?

Or is it a hostage situation, with dozens of prisoners, for some sort of political gain?

9) TERRORISM. The systematic use of terror, especially as a means of coercion.
For a religion, for a philosophy. But -- are you a terrorist, or are you a freedom fighter? It might just be a matter of point of view.

10) WILD CARD. For any crime not mentioned above.

Comments

[lasiurus]

The smirk he gives is practiced and arrogant. "Something like that." He has a club stamp on his hand, and there are pictures in the tabloids of him with the drummer of a very large band.

"I can't let you near anything sensitive, since you can't seem to control your hands...can you type?"

[newboyontheblock]

John tosses his head arrogantly, "Better than you." And if he's allowed on a company computer, oh the things he could do.

[lasiurus]

"Good. Then you can type for me." And maybe Bruce Wayne should be foolish enough to offer a computer to someone...but Batman isn't. He has a typewriter.

A fucking typewriter.

[newboyontheblock]

"Are you shitting me?" John stares at the typewriter, then back up at Wayne. "Where the fuck do you even get one of these things these days?"

[lasiurus]

"It was my father's." Bruce shrugs indifferently. "It's more secure than a network. How fast can you type?"

[newboyontheblock]

John scowls, but turns to look back at the typewriter, fingers barely brushing over the surface of it. It's a beautiful machine, really, carefully maintained and clearly still in perfect working order. "Not as fast as I would on a computer," John finally says, truthfully. "But still fast."

[lasiurus]

"You'll learn." Which is what he probably would have said, either way. He dictates to John, letters to send to different people, memos. They're all painfully boring, except for the ones he uses to flirt with a few women.

[newboyontheblock]

He does his work quietly, but he's quickly bored, and his mind begins to wander, letting his fingers type automatically. He'd tried working conventionally once, a terribly boring office job that lasted about three months before he quit.

The flirting is marginally more interesting, though it's pretty clear he isn't sincere about any of them. "You know this sounds like a bad Hallmark card, right."

[lasiurus]

"Then it's a good thing that's what these women like." He says, without quite looking up from his phone. "How would you phrase it?"

[newboyontheblock]

John shrugs. "You don't have to be sincere to sound sincere."

[lasiurus]

Bruce contemplates this, and shrugs. "Let's hear an example, then. Try to woo a shallow socialite."

[newboyontheblock]

John considers, then rises to his feet. A few tugs of his suit straightens it and he takes a breath; when he exhales, his shoulders are back, chin tilted haughtily. "You should know this," he says, and his voice is low and priud, yet invitingly intimate. "Isn't that all you so?" And then between one breath and the next, his postures settles into catlike and sultry, weight on one hip. He walks over (slinks) to Bruce and brushes a hand across his chest, trails his fingers down his tie. "Isn't this more fun?"

[lasiurus]

"Well..." Bruce's fingers brush the outside of John's leg, and his gaze flits up to his. "It's more fun for me. You're more bold than most of these women are."

[newboyontheblock]

"Would you prefer a frightened virgin? Or at least," and John laughs, a bit self-deprecating, "the impression of one?" He hasn't been a virgin for a very, very long time.


(( I'm so sorry about all those typos in the previous tag! I wrote it on my phone and totally didn't realize. ))

[lasiurus]

"I've never had one. Contrary to popular belief." He smirks. "And I don't think we have one in the whole building, or one who could pull it off believably."

[No worries! My phone will make us even sooner or later :P ]

[newboyontheblock]

"It's really not that hard," and it isn't, to draw on the memories from when he was still young and new. He looks up at Bruce shyly, through his lashes, and his eyes are wide, innocent. Bambi eyes. And he draws his shoulders in, bites his lower lip as he bashfully averts his gaze. It makes him look smaller, fragile. When he speaks again, it's soft, with a hint of nerves. "Some people really like it."

[lasiurus]

"Do you?" It's uncanny, how John can change so completely. Bruce knows it's an act, knows that under the innocence is a thief and a liar, and it makes it impossible for him to invest in the facade. "That doesn't seem like a mask you'd put on very often."

[newboyontheblock]

He shakes it off, sliding his hands into his pockets and shrugs. "It depends on what people wanted." He smooths his hair back, tucking a stray lock behind his ear. "You'd be surprised at how many people like the idea of teaching their boy the 'pleasure of the flesh.'" The sarcasm comes thick and heavy.

[lasiurus]

Bruce snorts, and leans back in his chair. "How many times has someone had your 'first time'?"

But on second thought he doesn't want to know. What he wants to learn is relevant to Batman: "I guess there's still a thriving market for that kind of thing out there."

[newboyontheblock]

"Obviously," he rolls his eyes, ignoring the first question. "And it's better me than anyone who is actually having their first time with an asshole like that."

[lasiurus]

Better still if the assholes are going to prison, Bruce thinks, but he just clucks his tongue.

"You should show me."

[newboyontheblock]

"Show you what? More of my virgin act?" John smirks, though a little disappointed. "Why, Mr. Wayne, I didn't expect that of you."

[lasiurus]

"No," it's hard to keep up his own act right now, now that he's thinking in terms of crime fighting. "Show me where the brothels are. Show me where you pick up johns."

[newboyontheblock]

He smiles, flat and empty and cold. "No," he says, and it's not something he's willing to budge on. "I know it's hard for you to understand, but for some of them--some of us--it's an honest way of life."

[lasiurus]

"Well, I'm done with you for the day. Get out of here." Bruce sits up and starts gathering his own things. If John won't show him, he has a lot of investigating to do on his own.