Call me, call me any, anytime!

[buckingham]

the phone sex +
sexting meme

what it says on the tin. leave a blank comment, include your preferences or a starter, it's all good. reply to others with a text, a dirty picture (please link all nsfw things!), misfires, misdials, drunk filthy voicemails, whatever your heart desires.

Comments

Widowmaker | Overwatch

[araneum]

Sorry ... This isn't what anyone wanted ...

[harness_the_harness]

If you want to come by and get it done before you get to work 😉 I love you so much baby girl

[ That, uhhh ... That doesn't look quite right. Is this the most mortifying autofill pocket text in the history of the universe? Why yes. Yes it is. ]

Oh nooooo

[araneum]

[ um pardonnez moi the fuck is this ]

No thank you.

[ Let it never be said that she is rude to her coworkers. ]

[harness_the_harness]

[ He'd registered the beep and vibration of a received text, but as per usual, is distracted by his work -- at this moment, improvements on a projected shield component. A very long time elapses before Sigma checks his messages.

Hm. Widowmaker? He can count the number of words he's spoken to her on one hand, why would she ... Oh? Oh no. The texts come in an panicked rapid fire: ]

Ms. Lacroix, please forgive me!
That message was sent in error.
I would never ask such a thing.
Certainly not of an esteemed work associate.

[araneum]

[ If Widowmaker were capable of true humor, she’d be laughing. As it is, she can feel a twinge of schadenfreude, and that’s about as close to amused as it gets.

She hadn’t meant to embarrass the doctor (any more than was inevitable), but it’s still entertaining. C’est la vie, right? ]

Chut, Dr. de Kuiper.
These things happen.
Just be happy that you got me instead of Sombra.

[ But then again, she can’t be too nice about it. She has a reputation to maintain. ]

How good for you, to have une copine. I had no idea.

[harness_the_harness]

[ She has a point. As intimidating as the sniper is, at least she's not the type to tease him about it. And he doesn't have to see her regularly like he does Moira.

It takes him a long moment to recall the meaning of the French word -- longer than it would have if he just used a translation feature -- but forcing himself to remember is an important exercise when parts of his mind are still a tangled mess. ]

A girlfriend? No, that was all gibberish.
A sequence of embarrassing suggested text inputs.
As you can probably imagine, my situation isn't exactly conducive to romantic pursuits.

[ Whether his "situation" is in reference to his accident, his limited interactions with the outside world, or something else altogether, it's hard to say. ]

[araneum]

[ He could just mean the barefoot thing. One would imagine that it makes it difficult to take the ladies out on nice dates.

Widowmaker can only roll her eyes at her phone. Two complete sentences are supposed to be "gibberish"? ]

I may not be a scientist, but I am not stupid, cher. You cannot send people coherent messages and then expect them to believe it is randomly strung-together nonsense.

[harness_the_harness]

[ Sigma scrubs at his face with one hand, peering at his phone between splayed fingers. He's dying. ]

Honestly...
Do you think I would lack so much imagination?
That I would call a woman "baby girl" and expect any positive results?

[araneum]

[ This does give her pause. He doesn’t really seem the type. ]

I will accept THAT as some type of error.

[harness_the_harness]

'Lekker ding.'

That's what I would use.
Hypothetically.

[ Step aside, French, Dutch is the new language of romance. ]

[araneum]

[ Upon translation, she can only squint at her phone. Lady, your language calls people "cabbage" and "flea" as a term of endearment. You have no room to judge. ]

Hypothetically, of course.

[harness_the_harness]

[ He's not sure how to convince her the rest of the booty call was a fluke, and isn't engaged in any dalliances, but maybe it's better to quit while he's ahead. ]

Can I ask a favor?
Please don't mention this to anyone.

[ After he hits send, he re-reads the messages and winces. Was that creepy? ]

[araneum]

[ Oh, he can't convince her. She's positive that someone around here is screwing the other headcase. But Sigma luckily got the one person in Talon who is literally incapable of giving a shit. ]

I have no reason to mention it. Besides, I cannot imagine who would be interested.

[ Well, she can imagine one person, but that person is just nosy. ]

[extalon]

[Either while he's with Talon or, if she'll play nice, after he's abandoned them.

His text is fully in french.]

I'll be in France tomorrow, what do you recommend I do?

[araneum]

It is a big country. Where will you be?

[extalon]

Côte d'Azur, Monaco, to be specific.

[araneum]

The Monte-Carlo is the best casino for a reason, and the ballet is there as well. The beach should not be too crowded since it is past Grand Prix season. But I suggest you charter a yacht.

[extalon]

Can't recall the last time I've been to a casino. I wonder how luck I'll get.

Now I suppose I just need a beautiful Mademoiselle to enjoy i with.

[araneum]

Ask nicely and you might find one.

[extalon]

Okay, let's give this a try.

Would you allow me to have the pleasure of having you escort me to Monaco?

[araneum]

I think such a thing could be arranged.

[extalon]

I was hoping you would say that.

Should I charter a yacht for the two of us as well? Because I hope the casino isn't the only place I will have the pleasure of having your company.

[araneum]

But of course. I tend to get looks when I sunbathe topless.

[extalon]

[He's glad she can't see his face right now. A yacht is a must.]

Well..we can't have that, can we?
Are there any other accommodations I should make?

[araneum]

Non, you have been gracious enough to invite me. I can handle dinner reservations.