buckingham: (Default)
buckingham ([personal profile] buckingham) wrote in [community profile] bakerstreet2020-06-29 09:22 pm

Call me, call me any, anytime!







the phone sex +
sexting meme


what it says on the tin. leave a blank comment, include your preferences or a starter, it's all good. reply to others with a text, a dirty picture (please link all nsfw things!), misfires, misdials, drunk filthy voicemails, whatever your heart desires.

harness_the_harness: (2D_Experiment)

[personal profile] harness_the_harness 2020-07-01 05:45 am (UTC)(link)
[ He'd registered the beep and vibration of a received text, but as per usual, is distracted by his work -- at this moment, improvements on a projected shield component. A very long time elapses before Sigma checks his messages.

Hm. Widowmaker? He can count the number of words he's spoken to her on one hand, why would she ... Oh? Oh no. The texts come in an panicked rapid fire: ]


Ms. Lacroix, please forgive me!
That message was sent in error.
I would never ask such a thing.
Certainly not of an esteemed work associate.
araneum: (22)

[personal profile] araneum 2020-07-01 06:08 am (UTC)(link)
[ If Widowmaker were capable of true humor, she’d be laughing. As it is, she can feel a twinge of schadenfreude, and that’s about as close to amused as it gets.

She hadn’t meant to embarrass the doctor (any more than was inevitable), but it’s still entertaining. C’est la vie, right? ]


Chut, Dr. de Kuiper.
These things happen.
Just be happy that you got me instead of Sombra.


[ But then again, she can’t be too nice about it. She has a reputation to maintain. ]

How good for you, to have une copine. I had no idea.
harness_the_harness: (2D_ZeroG)

[personal profile] harness_the_harness 2020-07-01 06:41 am (UTC)(link)
[ She has a point. As intimidating as the sniper is, at least she's not the type to tease him about it. And he doesn't have to see her regularly like he does Moira.

It takes him a long moment to recall the meaning of the French word -- longer than it would have if he just used a translation feature -- but forcing himself to remember is an important exercise when parts of his mind are still a tangled mess. ]


A girlfriend? No, that was all gibberish.
A sequence of embarrassing suggested text inputs.
As you can probably imagine, my situation isn't exactly conducive to romantic pursuits.


[ Whether his "situation" is in reference to his accident, his limited interactions with the outside world, or something else altogether, it's hard to say. ]
araneum: (51)

[personal profile] araneum 2020-07-01 09:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He could just mean the barefoot thing. One would imagine that it makes it difficult to take the ladies out on nice dates.

Widowmaker can only roll her eyes at her phone. Two complete sentences are supposed to be "gibberish"? ]


I may not be a scientist, but I am not stupid, cher. You cannot send people coherent messages and then expect them to believe it is randomly strung-together nonsense.
harness_the_harness: (2D_Nova)

[personal profile] harness_the_harness 2020-07-01 10:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Sigma scrubs at his face with one hand, peering at his phone between splayed fingers. He's dying. ]

Honestly...
Do you think I would lack so much imagination?
That I would call a woman "baby girl" and expect any positive results?
araneum: (14)

[personal profile] araneum 2020-07-02 04:05 am (UTC)(link)
[ This does give her pause. He doesn’t really seem the type. ]

I will accept THAT as some type of error.
Edited 2020-07-02 04:05 (UTC)
harness_the_harness: (3D_Skeptical)

[personal profile] harness_the_harness 2020-07-02 04:33 am (UTC)(link)
'Lekker ding.'

That's what I would use.
Hypothetically.


[ Step aside, French, Dutch is the new language of romance. ]
araneum: (Default)

[personal profile] araneum 2020-07-03 01:53 am (UTC)(link)
[ Upon translation, she can only squint at her phone. Lady, your language calls people "cabbage" and "flea" as a term of endearment. You have no room to judge. ]

Hypothetically, of course.
harness_the_harness: (2D_ZeroG)

[personal profile] harness_the_harness 2020-07-03 03:42 am (UTC)(link)
[ He's not sure how to convince her the rest of the booty call was a fluke, and isn't engaged in any dalliances, but maybe it's better to quit while he's ahead. ]

Can I ask a favor?
Please don't mention this to anyone.


[ After he hits send, he re-reads the messages and winces. Was that creepy? ]
araneum: (35)

[personal profile] araneum 2020-07-04 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
[ Oh, he can't convince her. She's positive that someone around here is screwing the other headcase. But Sigma luckily got the one person in Talon who is literally incapable of giving a shit. ]

I have no reason to mention it. Besides, I cannot imagine who would be interested.

[ Well, she can imagine one person, but that person is just nosy. ]
harness_the_harness: (2D_Dark)

[personal profile] harness_the_harness 2020-07-04 04:57 am (UTC)(link)
[ Frankly, anyone who's interested probably already has access to message logs. Not like anything in the organization goes un-monitored -- by mischievous hackers or otherwise. ]

Thank you, Ms. Lacroix.

[ As if this is benevolence and not indifference. ]

Again, I apologize for the disturbance. I feel I've made a poor impression, especially for how little our work coincides.
araneum: (26)

[personal profile] araneum 2020-07-05 01:56 am (UTC)(link)
[ Benevolence sounds better, he is free to continue believing she has it. ]

It is nothing to worry about. People who should be trying a million times harder than you make worse impressions on me every day.