something something eggplants

[inuyasock]

the phone sex +
sexting meme

what it says on the tin. leave a blank comment, include your preferences or a starter, it's all good. reply to others with a text, a dirty picture (please link all nsfw things!), misfires, misdials, drunk filthy voicemails, whatever your heart desires.

Comments

[whateveraspidercan]

20 letters in the alphabet is not enough to express how badly I want you

[wolf_blood]

... do you have a concussion again?

[whateveraspidercan]

Oh right how could I forget U R A Q T

[wolf_blood]

Oh, I see.

Okay, I'll bite. That's still not quite the right number of letters.

[whateveraspidercan]

Yesssss

You’ll get the D later!

[wolf_blood]

well done, well done. cue applause. :)

how much later?

[whateveraspidercan]

As soon as you want tbh

[wolf_blood]

I should be home in a half an hour. Or I could just come to you.

Any other pick up lines, in the mean time?

[whateveraspidercan]

Let’s flip a coin

Head at my place tail at yours

[wolf_blood]

Oh, that's very good. I like that one even more

[whateveraspidercan]

Did you just butt dial me? Because I swear that ass is calling me.

[wolf_blood]

Oh, this ass is definitely calling you

😍 keep sweet talking me

[whateveraspidercan]

I know I didn’t take your virginity but can I have the box it came in?

[wolf_blood]

absolutely you can

[whateveraspidercan]

ou look so good, I wanna kiss your lips and move up to your bellybutton

[wolf_blood]

ooooh, dirty

[whateveraspidercan]

You’re like my pinky toe, I’m gonna bang you on every piece of furniture in my apartment

[wolf_blood]

I have never been more in love with you than I am right now

[whateveraspidercan]

Because of the bad pick up lines?

[wolf_blood]

because you're telling me bad pick up lines, yeah

[whateveraspidercan]

Are you a poster? Because I want to pin you to the wall

[wolf_blood]

Please do

[whateveraspidercan]

Do you work for UPS because I think I saw you checking out my package

[wolf_blood]

Oh, you did, and it was not for work

[whateveraspidercan]

You know what I like in my girlfriend?

My cock