bakerstreet | Hit send. Feel regret.

what's it going to take to get you to kiss me like you mean it?

Are you sure you texted the right person? Think you better check your contacts, Buck.

exactly how many contacts do you think are in my phone, Steve?

You could have been texting Nat. Or... Someone else? ~~Because you couldn't have meant me...~~

well I wasn't. I was texting you.

everyone says I should work on figuring out what I want and learning how to ask for it.

[He doesn't text back right away, trying to think about what he wants to say in response. Finally, after re-writing it at least ten times, he answers.]

I... I want to kiss you. Always have wanted to.

you should do it next time you're not thousands of miles away.

Is that a challenge? I might be closer than you think.

consider it one. you'd better not be messing with me.

And if I am...? What are you going to do about it?

I don't know. I really hope you aren't.

Why would I mess with you, Buck? I just wanted it to be a surprise.

It would be a nice surprise. For the record.

Well, you just ruined it now... This is why I shouldn't try to do surprises.

I can pretend to be surprised.

[He may say that he can do surprises, but Steve knows better. If anything, Bucky was the one who always surprised him growing up, not the other way around. Steve had been too sick to do very little else. The grass crunched softly beneath his boots as he walked slowly, trekking out to where T'challa had told him that he would find Bucky.]

Oh look, surprise...

[He laughed and came up behind Bucky, not even trying to surprise him. He knows that Bucky would have any upper hand in this one. Steve didn't even try to be stealthy, what would the point of that be? His lips turned up in a wide grin and he didn't even bother trying to hide the happiness that would light up his eyes at seeing his best friend once more.]

[ It's sooner than Bucky expects and he really is a little surprised when he turns around to look at Steve. It's not that he'd really thought Steve was messing with him, but things have been so complicated between them and Steve's been busy. He'd half thought something would just find a way to go wrong. ]

Consider me surprised.

[ The smile he gives Steve is warm and genuine. Really, he has no idea what he looks like to Steve right now. He's scruffy and still missing his arm and that's left him feeling more vulnerable than anything in his life. Wakanda has fealt as safe as he thinks anything ever will for him, but Steve seeing him here like this has him left feeling exposed again. ]

[He wonders when Bucky is going to learn that he doesn't care. Bucky could be a stump with no arms or legs and Steve would still have feelings for him. When he was small, sick and frail, the only one who ever stayed by his side was Bucky. Any vulnerability that Bucky might have felt, Steve was feeling it too. He didn't care if he had muscles or super strength. All he needed was Bucky.]

So... What do I get for surprising you?

[And then, Steve tried to do something else that would surprise him. With a few short steps, Steve crossed the distance between them until he was standing face to face with Bucky.] I think a challenge was issued of me? [One hand reached out and he grabbed Bucky by the back of his neck, pulling their faces close together. As scared as he was, he hoped that he startled Bucky more, but in a good way. And then Steve kissed him.]

[ Bucky couldn't begin to answer that question. There wasn't anything he could think of that he wouldn't give to Steve. The more his memories had returned and his mind had settled, the more he'd become sure without a doubt that Steve was someone he would follow to the ends of the Earth if he had to.

Staying in Wakanda had been a difficult, necessary choice and he was finding happiness here, but he'd give it all away if Steve needed him.

Luckily, Bucky didn't have to answer because Steve was kissing him and he was very much interested in kissing back. He smiled into the kiss, hand coming up to rest against Steve's hip. ]

[Every touch, every kiss sent shivers through him. Steve kissed like a man who had just come home from war to a love he never thought he would see again. In a way, that actually wasn’t far off. His hand slipped up from Bucky’s neck to thread his fingers through his lover’s hair. Bright eyes fluttered closed and he lost himself in the feeling of Bucky finally being within reach. Not just emotionally, but physically, everything was starting to right itself with them.

No matter the cost to get here, Steve regretted none of his actions. He smiled, never having kissed with facial hair before. It was an odd sensation, but one he relished doing again and again.]

Bucky… [His voice was soft, a low murmur. Bucky wanted a kiss like he meant it. And Steve was finally able to give it.] I… I’m sorry. I should have done that a long time ago.

Edited 2018-05-09 12:05 (UTC)

[ By the end, Bucky felt like he was melting. Steve had completely turned his legs to jelly, so consider that a successful kiss. He couldn't remember something as simple as a kiss affecting him like that before, either. Maybe it was just because it had been so long, but he suspected not. ]

I'm not going to argue with that, but better late than never.

[ He'd given up the idea of really getting something like that a while ago, especially when he doesn't really think he deserves it. Men like Bucky don't deserve love or happy endings or any of that stuff, but he's trying to let himself learn to want things again, anyway, and he wants this. ]

Wasn't there a phrase about good things coming to those who wait...?

[Steve doesn't pull away, even as he stops kissing Bucky. Strong arms stay wrapped around him, keeping him close and not letting him pull away. He's not ready to let this go. The time that they were from, things were different. He couldn't tell Bucky back then how he had truly feel. Now? Now he can express all the feeligns he'd been to afraid to voice, act on the feelings he's always hidden.]

Bucky... You said something in those texts. Something about people told you that you should figure out what you want and ask for it... [One of his hands lifted, cupping Bucky's cheek with his palm.] Why didn't you ask me sooner?

[ Bucky wasn't trying to go anywhere. He was perfectly content to stay in Steve's arms as long as he could. It gave him a rare sense of being tethered and secure of who he was.

He frowned at the question, though, searching for the right answer. ]

I didn't know I wanted it for a while. I thought I was just... confused because you got me away from HYDRA and you were all I could really remember for a while. I thought it would pass, but it didn't. Then the more I remembered, the more I wanted it, but I was scared to ask for anything.

Bucky...

[He wasn't disappointed that Bucky didn't say something sooner. He could understand where Bucky was coming from. When he was first brought out of the ice, everything had confused him as well. Now, more than ever, they needed each other. Everyone else was gone. Dum Dum. Peggy. Phillips. They were all gone. Sure, there were new people, new friends to trust, but it wasn't the same.

Their world, the world that they knew was gone.]

Never be scared. Never hesitate when it comes to me, to us. You were there, Bucky. You were there when I didn't have anything else, some skinny little runt who was always sick. You saved me in the alley. You always save me. You... You're it, Bucky.

[ Bucky couldn't help scoffing. Sure, he'd saved Steve a few times back then. How could he not when Steve had needed him? He'd spent a lot of time chasing after Steve when they'd been kids, Steve always running into a fight and Bucky not far behind, because that had just been who Bucky had been. He was Steve's friend and that was all he needed to know. Steve had always been a man worth following, even when they were small. ]

Lately, you're the one who keeps saving me.

[ Because Bucky wasn't saving anyone these days. At best, he was fighting to survive, but even that wasn't as necessary in Wakanda and he liked that. He liked that he didn't have to fight, even if it was probably temporary. He wanted that break, but he'd leave it behind in a heartbeat if Steve needed him to.

He still wasn't even sure who he was without Steve as an anchor of sorts. Who was Bucky Barnes without the reference point of Steve Rogers? ]

But I'll keep that in mind.

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