bakerstreet | (no subject)

(no subject)

[ WOKE UP IN JAIL ]

Where are you? Why is your bed so hard? Why is someone peeing right by your head?
Oh right. Because you got pinched last night. Welcome to the slammer, baby.

• Post with your character name/fandom/options preferences.
• Use RNG to pick your possible scenario - or just go with what you'd like most.
• Reply to other people's tags. Use RNG or decide what your part in the whole kerfuffle is.
• Enjoy the confusion.

Reason(s) you're in jail:

1. Indecent Exposure
Nobody wanted to watch you strut around with everything hanging out, and someone called you on it. Hope they gave you a jumpsuit or you're going to be prison eye candy.

2. Drunk and disorderly conduct
"Wassat, occifer? No... I'm not dru-*hic* drunk. I'm unner the legal limit. Wooo!" No, no you're not. You're way over. Sleep it off, buddy.

3. Vandalism
Oh, you naughty thing. You got busted stealing that 'Chickens X-ing' sign. Or was it drawing boobs on the drive-thru clown? Either way, tsk tsk.

4. B&E
Apparently your friend didn't think you kicking in his window to sneak in and leave him a 'present' was as good of an idea as you thought it was. Well, no love for HIM. *hmph*

5. Grand Theft Auto
The car was BEGGING to go for a ride. It called to you with its sireny car-call. And you just had to answer. If it hadn't been for the damn spike belt...

6. Kidnapping
Trust me, there are better ways to get money to pay for your Bieber concert tickets.

7. Murder
Talk about being caught red handed. You got caught red armed. And faced. And front. You're messy.

8. Any/all of the above
Ooooh... You've been REALLY naughty, haven't you? Actually, you kind of scare me.

Relationship of the person tagging:

1. Cohort in Crime.

2. Person coming to bail you out. (or not)

3. Jailer/Warden.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

Sweetheart? That's just...that's just great. Ezera pressed her lips together, squeezing her eyes shut as his voice rang out and lightly shook her head. If there was a god, the ground would have opened up and just swallowed her whole. As it were...

She looked at the officer with his cup frozen half-way up to his mouth. With one hand, she was pushing Matt toward the door while taking mini steps in that direction too.

"So sorry. Haha. Can you believe," she started with a half-nervous laugh, "we thought that you were my ex. The guy's been following me around like a puppy lately. Bit of a wierdo." Retreat, retreat! "But now that I'm up close to you I can clearly see that you're not him!" She said while back peddling. "My bad. Sorry. M'kay. Sorry. Well, um. BYE!"

She followed Matt out grumbling a trail of somethings under her breath. "Luck?....shitting me....can't believe..."

It was a lot cooler outside now. The nip of fall was in the air. "He's just going to be more suspicious now."

Ezera herding Matthew out the door looked an awful lot like a Pomeranian shepherding a Great Dane. Still, he went.

"YOU'RE the one who didn't want me just fucking with his brain," he reminded her. "Whatever. If he follows us again we're doing things my way."

It had been effective, hadn't it? Ok, then. This bitch was getting a bit irked with the whole situation but she was also walking a fine line between wondering, 'he wouldn't just kill me if I annoyed him, right?' and 'um, yeah, he probably would so...zip it.' But sometimes, none of that matters.

"And for good reason!" She said with hand gestures to highlight her frustration. "Oh my God, don't be a bully, no one likes a bully. He's just doing his job. Need I remind you that not more than an hour and a half ago, you popped a guy's head like a zit and I just waltzed out of jail?" Ezera shook her head. "I should have totally had a Netflix and chill night. I even told myself, "Ezera, it's going to be one of those nights." She threw her hands up, her voice exasperated. "And here we are!" Must be Tuesday!

He'd started to protest when she called him a bully - say something about effective tactics - but she just rolled right along and he found himself at a loss for words.

At least until she ended on such an absurd note. Then he just started laughing a little.

"...it's Wednesday," he corrected her, wondering if she was going to hit him.

Ezera came to a dead halt and deadpanned at him until her brow crept slowly up her forehead while her hands hung listlessly at her side. "Don't make me do it." She threatened ominously.

He laughed harder. It wasn't an evil villain laugh either- it was genuine and completely non-threatening. In fact, when he smiled it transformed his face into something slightly dorky.

"No, don't make me. Don't do it." She warned again in the faux-serious tone of an alert school matron. "You know you won't like it." Ezera cautioned, splaying her arms out wide like someone who was about to give the biggest bear hug. She wiggled her fingers and took two threatening steps forward.

(For some reason I see this in my head each time Ezera threatens to hug Matthew. It's the little things that make me laugh.]

"The fuck are you doing, you crazy bitch?" Both bewildered and still laughing. He backed up a step.

[OOC: YES. So much yes.]

She stepped forward a step. "Told you. If you don't behave I'll have to hug you. Just imagine how akward that's going to be." Ezera gave him a toothy smile. "There's bound to be an uncomfortable pause. And just imagine the rigid muscles-freezing-in-defense tight shoulder move," she makes grabby hands, " as you swim in all the 'what-the-fuckery'. And," she says as if she's telling a horror story over the campfire, "I'm known to...linger!" AHHHHH!

Edited 2017-11-06 23:08 (UTC)

"You wouldn't dare. Shit, you probably can't even reach."

He has no idea how to react to her, but he remains amused.

Really? "Oh, but I would. Look at my face. Look at it." She says seriously, drawing a box around it with her fingers. "You're tellin' me that this isn't the face of a serial hugger?" Oh, Matt. She got on her tippy toes in her heels. She's not short, but Matt is still the Everest to her Lhotse. "You underestimate me. There are arms-around-the-neck hugs and around the waist hugs. I'm an expert." And he probably has pieces of brain matter somewhere on him. Ew. "Are you getting anxious, yet?"

The fingers of one hand curled around the arm of his jacket. "Huh! Oh, my God. Look. It's starting to get weird. So awkward."

He snorted.

"You think I've never been hugged, is that it? Well I have once or twice, you don't scare me."

He wasn't exaggerating - it really was once or twice.

She ignores him. "And then, oh my God, what if it just lasts too long? Soooo bad." She says mimicking his voice.

Ezera tries not to laugh. "Well, third times the charm. Pffft, yeeees, I do. Or, it does. That kinda stuff freaks you out, doesn't it? It's like, ah, what?! What's happening? Don't worry," she says standing back on her two feet, "I'm using this as a deterrent. Now, come on. It's time to go. I've had too much excitement for one night."

Her impression of him would offended him if he wasn't amused.

"Yeah, I'll get you home safe."

"That's kind of you." She says, "Thanks." Honestly, the smart thing would have been to excuse herself and find her own way home, but not having to look over her shoulder for once? Was like being granted space to breathe. Besides, she wanted to make sure that Matt didn't find a reason to go "take care of" the confused (and suspicious) cop.

She took his arm as she might take the arm of any friend or acquaintance, even though anyone else might have thought twice. It wasn't even a consideration.

"Least I can do."

Having a beautiful woman on his arm was something he was actually used to, and he didn't think twice about it either.

This is why people question her self-preservation skills, however. Or maybe she's actually one step ahead of the game? Either way, she's utterly unaware of any of it and is contemplating something equally important, like guessing whether Matt was a blues, jazz or something entirely different kinda guy. She could just ask him, but wondering about it was fun.

"What do you do for fun when you're not...you know..." Killing people, she reminded herself.

"When I'm not...?" Poor Ezera - Matthew's concept of free time is that it doesn't really exist.

"Oh! Working? Well. I train."

"Train for what? A marathon?" She askes innocently. Oh, she knows what he means. Ezera figured that much. She knows the type. But that's also why she's not letting this go.

"No, for work."

He doesn't SAY 'duh' but he clearly means it.

She keeps her voice light and breezy as if his tone didn't register but, honestly, she's laughing on the inside.

"Ah, work. And so," she starts much in the way of someone that's trying to wrap their head around something but already knows the answer, "what do you do for fun that's not related to work?"

Why did he suddenly feel defensive?

"I... Go see people? If I can."

Aha, now he's got it. "I went to the museum, a little while ago."

"Oh my God, I'm going to adopt you." She mumbles lowly under her breath. No, Ezera. No. You must not adopt people with questionable ethical values. Go write it on the blackboard 100 times.

"Yes! Don't you just love going to the different museum's here? There's always so much to see. Something new every season. How about music, Matt? You like going out for live music?" Oh, boy. Here we go.

He has to consider this question carefully.

"I like the opera."

She gives his arm a little squeeze with her own. "Ooo! Did you see that article about the Soprano that hit the highest note ever in the history of the MET?" There's a little skip to her step then. "Mat! Let me take you to the opera sometime? As a thank you. Oh, that would be so cool." She beamed a smile. "Come on, say yes. Please? Pleeease, Matt? You could even bring that "friend" of yours." She had...ideas. Ok, one idea. One.