bakerstreet | (no subject)

[ WOKE UP IN JAIL ]

Where are you? Why is your bed so hard? Why is someone peeing right by your head?
Oh right. Because you got pinched last night. Welcome to the slammer, baby.

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Reason(s) you're in jail:

1. Indecent Exposure
Nobody wanted to watch you strut around with everything hanging out, and someone called you on it. Hope they gave you a jumpsuit or you're going to be prison eye candy.

2. Drunk and disorderly conduct
"Wassat, occifer? No... I'm not dru-*hic* drunk. I'm unner the legal limit. Wooo!" No, no you're not. You're way over. Sleep it off, buddy.

3. Vandalism
Oh, you naughty thing. You got busted stealing that 'Chickens X-ing' sign. Or was it drawing boobs on the drive-thru clown? Either way, tsk tsk.

4. B&E
Apparently your friend didn't think you kicking in his window to sneak in and leave him a 'present' was as good of an idea as you thought it was. Well, no love for HIM. *hmph*

5. Grand Theft Auto
The car was BEGGING to go for a ride. It called to you with its sireny car-call. And you just had to answer. If it hadn't been for the damn spike belt...

6. Kidnapping
Trust me, there are better ways to get money to pay for your Bieber concert tickets.

7. Murder
Talk about being caught red handed. You got caught red armed. And faced. And front. You're messy.

8. Any/all of the above
Ooooh... You've been REALLY naughty, haven't you? Actually, you kind of scare me.

Relationship of the person tagging:

1. Cohort in Crime.

2. Person coming to bail you out. (or not)

3. Jailer/Warden.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"You know how you are."

He gives her a brief but real smile.

"Pffffft. I know I'm fabulous. That's what I know." She retorts with sass and a flip of one side of her hair over her shoulder as if to say, 'beeeotch, please'. She returns a smile but hers never leaves her face.

They passed another block and she realized that they'd be at her place soon. Ezera nonchalantly looked over her shoulder to see whether there was anyone behind them. She's probably paranoid enough for them both.

He notices her looking around and nudges her.

"We're not being followed," he stage whispers.

"Are you sure?" She whispers back in the same tone. "Because my apartment is coming up and I don't want to have the po-po over for tea."

"Totally sure. I've been checking. I'm a fucking Black Ops motherfucker, nobody's gonna bother you at home."

She snorted out a laugh. "Throw one more 'motherfucker' in there and we'll have a winning rap song on our hands." How's he been checki---oh, right. No, fair. "Guess you did scare him off. Everyone lives today!" She exclaims as if it were a Christmas miracle. Well, except for the guy in jail. There's that. Oh, and the crooked cop. Right.

"Hey, so. You should come to my club sometime. Well, "club" is a bit misleading. It's a modern cabaret in a speakeasy environment." She dug into her purse and brought out a card. "Here's the address."

Edited 2017-11-26 19:00 (UTC)

"Everyone lives," he agrees. He barely remembers that he killed a guy.

He mulls the word 'cabaret' over. Does that mean strippers? It might be rude to ask. He takes her card and nods. "Good cocktails?"

She'd be both glad and annoyed at the question. A lot of people make that mistake. But it gives her the opportunity to launch into cabaret history. To their utter dismay.

"The best artisanal cocktails from the Prohibition period. We're classy joint like that. It's right next to the Red Rum." She looks at him for any indication that he knows the place. "But you do not want to go there. It's not a classy joint. Anyway, we've got Jazz Age live music on Tuesdays, performances, political comedy and a light dinner service. Our main show is on Fridays and Saturdays."

He nods again. 'Show' sounds pretty normal - nothing too racy, he's sure. And he has no issue with jazz.

"Okay. Then I'll go next time I'm allowed out."

Er, unless there was an issue with burlesque? That was Fridays too.

Ezera is really going to have to work on her neutral face because Matthew is breaking her heart.

Allowed out?

Ok, she thinks. Just, let it go. For now. Just let it go.

"Cool." She says, before looking up at the building. "Well, this is me, darling. Can I call you a cab?"

Oh, he was going to have SUCH a problem with that. But it's good for him. Really.

He grins down at her. "Nah. You look after yourself, huh?"

"Why when you're doing an awesome job of it?" She jokes with a small laugh and an eye-roll at herself. "Good night, Matthew. It's been...crazy." She smirks over her shoulder as she waves goodbye. "But at least it wasn't boring."