bakerstreet | (no subject)

(no subject)

[ WOKE UP IN JAIL ]

Where are you? Why is your bed so hard? Why is someone peeing right by your head?
Oh right. Because you got pinched last night. Welcome to the slammer, baby.

• Post with your character name/fandom/options preferences.
• Use RNG to pick your possible scenario - or just go with what you'd like most.
• Reply to other people's tags. Use RNG or decide what your part in the whole kerfuffle is.
• Enjoy the confusion.

Reason(s) you're in jail:

1. Indecent Exposure
Nobody wanted to watch you strut around with everything hanging out, and someone called you on it. Hope they gave you a jumpsuit or you're going to be prison eye candy.

2. Drunk and disorderly conduct
"Wassat, occifer? No... I'm not dru-*hic* drunk. I'm unner the legal limit. Wooo!" No, no you're not. You're way over. Sleep it off, buddy.

3. Vandalism
Oh, you naughty thing. You got busted stealing that 'Chickens X-ing' sign. Or was it drawing boobs on the drive-thru clown? Either way, tsk tsk.

4. B&E
Apparently your friend didn't think you kicking in his window to sneak in and leave him a 'present' was as good of an idea as you thought it was. Well, no love for HIM. *hmph*

5. Grand Theft Auto
The car was BEGGING to go for a ride. It called to you with its sireny car-call. And you just had to answer. If it hadn't been for the damn spike belt...

6. Kidnapping
Trust me, there are better ways to get money to pay for your Bieber concert tickets.

7. Murder
Talk about being caught red handed. You got caught red armed. And faced. And front. You're messy.

8. Any/all of the above
Ooooh... You've been REALLY naughty, haven't you? Actually, you kind of scare me.

Relationship of the person tagging:

1. Cohort in Crime.

2. Person coming to bail you out. (or not)

3. Jailer/Warden.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

"I'm sorry." Steve says in an empathetic tone. He knows chest pains. He'd felt them acutely his entire life before the serum. He almost wishes he wasn't so 'perfect'. That the scars and wounds from battle lingered on his flesh instead of beneath it. The physical bruises and marks Tony had given him barely lasted a few days, same with Bucky. But the mental ones, they were still there.

"I hope it works out." Steve says honestly. "I'd hate for something irreparable to happen to you."

"Our line of work? It's a matter of time." And he'd hoped that he'd be leaving something worthwhile behind. That even if he didn't survive what was coming that the seeds planted with the Avengers would foster people that could face things he can't. At the end of the day he's a genius, sure. But he's a man in a suit that's only as good as he can design. "But I'm all for putting that off as long as possible."

"I really hate thinking about losing any of you." Steve says honestly. "It's why I take the risks I do..did. So you wouldn't have too. Bucky used to say I had a death wish...maybe he's right. I should have died so many times before now yet here I am. Just can't seem to get it right." He tries to make it a joke, but it's a little to cynical to be a success. "I might just stay here. Let the world forget about Steve Rogers. Fade away into the background and become a nobody once more. Figure out how to help Buck..or if not....let em put me on ice beside him."

"That's a waste." It's not entirely invalid- wanting to be done, wanting to walk away? He can understand that. He'd tried and failed and it's fine, he'll keep on this train till he crashes and burns and he's long since made peace with that. Steve- Steve wanting out?

Kind of surprising. Understandable but- surprising.

"Everything you can do, everything he can do when he gets his head on straight, and you wanna walk away? You don't want to be Captain America anymore, fine, good, great. You want some time to take for yourself, a little leave? You've earned it. You want to go back on the ice because living in the here and now is too damn hard for you? That's bullshit."

Steve gives Tony a hard look before rolling his eyes and accepting his friends...was Tony still his friend?, words. "Do you want some coffee?" He asks needing to move for a moment, to do something other than just sit there. He gets up and moves into his little kitchen to make at least himself a cup of coffee.

"Going into cryo would be the last option, Tony. The last. If there was no hope of me being able to go anywhere, of being with anyone. Of not saving Bucky. I just. I don't know what I want. I don't know what to do. I haven't felt this lost since my Ma died." He's stirring the cup so forcefully the spoon shatters the ceramic sending hot liquid all over the counter. Steve mutters a soft curse and grabs a towel to clean up the mess, angrily shoving pieces of the broken mug into the trash before trying to make another cup.

"Always." Coffee and sheer force of will were all that kept him going most days. Today's a little easier than most but that's an exception rather than the rule. Maybe he can adjust his baseline to compensate for all the new variables in the situation, like Steve wanting to either be dead or sleep for fucking ever.

Not easy to hear even when he's not sure where they stand. It's not-

It doesn't seem right in ways he can't articulate, and he's damn good at finding words for difficult concepts, that's half of what he does. "We can save him, is the thing. I told you I had the data from the book, theories, I sent you that information. And while I'm in no hurry to be in the same room as him anytime soon we can work with the Wakandan doctors on hand to unfuck his brain. It's doable."

Steve had looked over the data Tony sent but he couldnt understand much of it. He supposes Wanda might be able to help too...maybe. Steve returns with coffee for both of them and hands Tony the cup. "Here." He offers him the mug.

"I appreciate you being willing to help him. Wasn't sure it was still on the table and I wasn't sure how to ask."

"If I can keep him from going terminator on someone else's parents? I'm going to do it." Low blow but he's always fought dirty. Maybe making light of it will make it hurt less and- it doesn't hurt less, just different, and he's getting his head around that. Slowly. "It's still on the table."

Mug in hand he sits back and really looks at Steve, taking in the details. The exhaustion, the slump of his shoulders, everything.

Steve's fingers clench around the mug but he stops himself from actually cracking this one. He stares down into the black liquid and just listens, nodding slightly when Tony mentions it's still on the table. Steve does hate Tony's low blows..but he knows it's probably a defense mechanism. He has his own after all, can't begrudge a guy for doing what he has too to deal with things.

He can feel Tony watching him but he has no idea what the other man is looking for. Steve doesn't look a day over 27, if that, but inside he feels older. Out of place. Steve's 90% sure if he could fix this mess between him and Tony he can handle anything. But if he can't even mend this then what hope is there of mending the other rifts? "Let me know if there's anything I can do to help." He says after a while. "Wanda might be able to as well. The whole mind manipulation thing."

"Might wanna crack open the cryo tube and ask Barnes what he wants. Informed consent is a thing, Steve." Even if it's not an honest medical procedure it's close enough to warrant, well, not doing it in the most callous way possible. Part of his need to fix this is to prove he can-

And part to do it better, be better than the assholes that twisted around science and technology just to strip the humanity away from a man and make him a tool. "...How've you been sleeping?"

"Bucky said to wake him up if we figure out how to do it. So we work on it and then we wake him up and explain it and let him choose. That's the plan." Steve says to him, tone neutral and soft.

"What's sleep?" Steve asks with a chuckle. "I haven't slept a full night since Peggy died."

He'd sent flowers- he thinks. Or a letter or something, it'd been expected due to his father's connection with Carter through all the years of working in SHIELD and probably more besides that he hadn't been told about, hadn't learned. To him it was a blip on the radar.

For Steve it'd been one of the last threads to before.

"My dad talked about her sometimes. Not often, anything too tied up in you was- well. Tied up in you or highly classified." A beat. Gently, in that he can in fact be gentle on occasion. "...What was she like, when you knew her?"

"Peggy was the best woman I've ever known aside from my Ma. She didn't take crap from anyone but always managed to stay classy while she did it. She shot at me once. Did you know that? When I was trying to figure out what weapon to use. I was actually holding the shield at the time talking to your father. I was asking him about it. It was in a scrap pile. He was going on and on about guns and all I could think was this looks like the best tool here.

Anyway, see she was mad at me because some other lady had cornered me and kissed me before I could stop her. She walked in on it. So she shot at me. I think she might have felt bad about it afterwards. We had something special. She believed in me from the beginning. When I was little 90lbs Steve to after. She helped me keep my head when Bucky 'died'. She was with me through the radio when I crashed the plane. I think...I think if I had lived I could have married her. I think I could have loved her right." Steve says sadly. "She had a good life though. A good husband, loving family. She did alright in the end. I doubt I'll ever find a woman I'd love as much as I loved her."

"Grace, poise, and a mean left hook- that's what Jarvis would say if I asked." Apparently? Not entirely inaccurate. Tony sips his coffee and listens, tucking this away with everything else he's learned about Steve's life and the people nearest him. It wasn't that he hadn't been interested in the past but-

His days were too short already and keeping up with the Avengers socially, while awesome? Exhausting and difficult to navigate. "Don't count yourself out yet, Rogers. There are plenty of people that could probably squint pass your doritoesque physique and see the awkward artist lurking within."

"Most people now a days read about me in a history book or have seen me on TV. They don't want Steve Rogers, they want Captain America." He says. The two dates he'd been on had shown him that much. How funny is it that he's still practically a virgin. He's a 100 year old virgin. That has to be a record of some kind, has to be.

"Did you just compare me to a dorito chip?"

"Learn to live with the celebrity and find someone that isn't dazzled by that. It's possible, usually it takes knowing you for awhile- that's how Pepper and I ended up together. Also how we fell apart but, details." He waves a had vaguely, glad for the change in subject.

"I have photographic evidence and taken measurements to confirm the ratio, I am not even kidding-" He palms his phone and flips through the gallery, pulling up the photo in question. "I've done the math. You've got the shoulder to waist ratio of a dorito, Rogers, live with it. You're a corn chip."

Steve laughs. Actually has a full on belly laughing fit so much so he has to put his cup down as his left hand comes up to his chest atop his heart. He's laughing so hard tears leak from his eyes and it takes him a few moments to calm down. He wipes his eyes and sniffles before shaking his head. "Perfect specimen of manhood to a freaking corn chip. That was unexpected. Guess I'm gonna have to hope I find someone who likes doritos. That should help in the search." He says.

"Also kind of hard to meet people when you're a fugitive. Anyway, what about you? Are you and Pepper trying to work things out?"

"That'll pass. Pep's already on the PR machine, whipping the lawyers into a frenzy, rattling marketing's cages. Our stock took a hit but it always dips when shit like this happens. The board's not worried." Well, they are, but no more than usual. "We're- It's stressful. What I do, who I am, I'm stressful enough as a boss or a friend, double down with my intimacy issues and neuroses and the fact I nearly got her killed because of Killian-"

He scrubs a hand across the back of his neck, shrugging. "We make better friends. She's too good for me and we both know it. I keep secretly hoping Rhodey will get off his ass and ask her out to dinner but the odds of that are slim to none for awhile."

Steve gives his friend, yes he has decided for his part that Tony is still his friend, an appraising look. "You're a handful but you deserve someone to come home to that's a person Tony. Someone to remind you to eat and sleep and physically drag you to bed or hand you a sandwich if need be. Someone who cares about you." Steve just wants Tony to be happy. He wants SOMEONE in his life to be happy.

"Relationships are overrated. I have Friday, I've got Dum-E and U, I've got Rhodey and Pep. I'm good." Those are the constants in his life, even if how much or little he has them swings more one way than the other- they're the linchpins of his universe. The Avengers had, temporarily, become a secondary strut. One he'd been wary of putting too much weight on out of self preservation and this whole shitshow was a solid reminder of why he'd been careful about it. "I'm fine, Steve."

"Well I suppose you would know. I've never actually had one." He admits as they sit there in the dwindling light. The sun is going down and Steve hasn't turned on the lights in the room yet. If he waits long enough they will cut on automatically. At least he's pretty sure he pressed the button earlier. "No one wanted me when I was small. I wasn't big long enough to get involved and since I woke up it's been one fight after another."

"Wasn't Natasha trying to set you up with people? I distinctly remember hearing that bit of gossip awhile back." Mostly the trial and error nature of it, how hard she seemed to be trying, how every swing seemed to be a miss. "Pretty sure you've got downtime now."

"She kept trying to set me up with women." Steve says. "My heart wasn't ready for that. There were a few guys I had beers with but they were only interested in Captain America. Not Steve Rogers."

"You do have the Tom of Finland thing going for you- but that's less 'Steve' and more 'serum'." Tony shrugs, waggling a hand side to side. "I haven't been in the scene for awhile so I've got no advice for you there, buddy. Wait- what about Sam? Is that not a thing? It seemed like it could be a thing."

Steve gives another soft laugh. "No, Sam is 100% straight and totally in not so secret infatuation with Natasha. Who is Tom of Finland?"