Maybe you can't find a date. Maybe you don't want to find a date. Maybe this whole thing was set up by your well-meaning friends, or your prank-playing enemies, or your over-involved mother. Whatever the reason, you're on a swipe-based dating system. Call it tinder, cuddlr, e-harmony but for shallow assholes... you're on it. What's the worst that could happen? |
FORMATTING
shippy clothes swap.
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 married couple smut meme |
| Because all that fun hands-on intimacy isn't just for the swinging singles. how to play.
prompts.
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 Long ago, in a distant land... That's how a fairy tale would start, followed by velvet words and beautiful images on parchment, telling of the adventures of heroes. But you? You don't get a fairy tale - you certainly don't get the prerequisite knight in shining armor, whether you wanted one or not. Forget the knights. Bring on the barbarians, the raiders on behemoth ships, uncouth Northmen from the coldest reaches, and, if you're from a fantasy-setting, the orcs/dwarves/wild elves/other species. It's the right time, yet the wrong place and the wrong person, for sure. Maybe you're being protected, somehow; on the other hand, you could be getting kidnapped. At any rate, your companion is a rough-edged warrior, a commoner, a ruffian rogue, or even worse, a savage. Will you even survive this story unscathed? Because you certainly won't get a picture-book ending or, far be it, true love...right? Or, if you're just here for the smut: observe the "loin cloths or Pelts of the Barbarian, taut rippling muscles, oiled back, impressive weapons, the beard of a grizzly bear (or inexplicably clean-shaven at all times) and glorious manly manes."
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