bakerstreet | listen to your heart 😌

listen to your heart 😌

"Can You Handle Your Emotions?"

Emotions are... eh. We all have them, whether we want to or not. Some people have control over their emotions, and some people let their emotions control them. Where does your character fall on this spectrum? More importantly, what's their relationship with their emotions like? Do they bury everything deep, deep down inside, or are they the first one to cry over a sappy movie? Do they even know how they feel about what's going on inside? Pretty meta stuff.

No blank top-levels.
Instead, characters are to respond to the proposed question: can you handle your emotions? / are you in touch with your feelings?
Get deep. Look within. Hear, think feel... or don't.

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All demons are is bundles of raw emotions lacking wisdom and control. I've yet to meet one who has no emotions. They're more keyed up than some of the most abused wild animals. Even cursed artifacts simply become one after the spirit of it has been hurt so badly it starts to shut down and lashes out in the only way they know how.

Don't assume I have infinite time. I'm not my Father. I'm always short on time. And be grateful for it. Without that, we'd be much more like the fiery barren hellscape you imagine.

Ones back home didn't have them. They could, uh, "obtain" feelings from the souls they tortured and kind of consumed them like drugs? [That effect ran out, so they kept torturing, like an addiction.] A lot changed after billions of years. [Thanks to a human, Christopher Rudd started a revolt of the damned. Welllll, she doesn't get into details.] And they obtained their own souls.

[Happy ending. She pauses.]

Hey now, I didn't presume you had infinite time, but you aren't going to die in a few decades, right? You can allow yourself to take things more easily. For your mental wellness, too. Your well-being matters.

[He thinks about it.] Faeries weren't too emotional before demons. And they didn't have souls either. Devildom -- a lot of the demons and faeries are mixed now. But like I said, the shadows are just Jungian to an extreme degree, he knew what he was writing about.

Now you sound like Michael.

I hate hearing that.

I know, I'm more productive when I get sleep. [Who was it who had to tell Father that after "day 6" when he started getting loopy with making Metatron? Uriel, right?] And lashing out at my brothers isn't conducive to any of my goals.

[Ooooh, see he's connecting some. Dots. Concidences. Patterns. But fae and demons are different, and fae do have a spirit. At least, in the old Creation she came from. Everybody deserves a fresh start, so she believes.]

Pft. Maaaybe. [She giggles when she hears the comparison.] I'm a Michael's daughter, sooo I got to be at least a little like him. [Not that she knew him very well.]

Sounds like you're making things harder for yourself. But those are your honest emotions, you know. So you're not as bad with them as you thought.

[Always. He can't stop the pattern recognition or THINKING anymore than the empathy. Less than, even.]

[He arches SUCH an eyebrow at that. That would make her a niece????? Except... that... 1) Michael can't have kids 2) isn't his brother anymore.]

[An eyeroll.]

I'm not trying to.
Make it harder.
I'm not trying to make it harder on myself. [HUFF.]

Yes, being cursed with honesty as well as empathy is a good cocktail for ensuring I can recognize some of the blithering obvious at least.

You're not trying, but intention and result sometimes don't align. [She adds softly, ignoring the family bagagge stuff. He's making things hard, even if he didn't mean to.]

It's fine, my uncle wouldn't lie either. [Not a good reassurance. But honesty shouldn't be a curse.] You just need to learn it's okay to stop and enjoy yourself when you no longer can get in touch with your emotions. Presuming nobody can be good with them because you aren't is just being narrow-minded. Instead, think of it this way: if someone else has a good grasp on that, so can you.

Thanks Dad. [DRIPPING WITH SARCASM.]

[And yeah just twitches. Fine fine, he gets it. He's Lucifer. So what's new?]

[Ugh.]

[He hears her at least.]

[Scowling. A little red. But not arguing with her.]

[Drums his fingers in thought.]

What's the first step? To learning it? Practicing. Not the getting space to grow my sense of self. The other one.

Well, I didn't ask your name, but that's becoming a little obvious when you bring up your Dad a lot.

[ She flashes a wry smile. Not that her uncle liked to talk to him, but this amount of daddy issues is a sign. She can also recognize Patterns. Even when she's tried not to Look for them. ] Mine's Elaine Belloc, by the way. Nice to meet you.

[She hurries to add as a sidenote. Then clears her throat.]

I think that depends on your temperament, and those curses are literal? If empathy and honesty are curses, they are meant to weaken you. So two paths here: You either learn how to break the curse to get rid of them-----ooor you find a way to overturn them and make them become blessings to strengthen you. That's a choice only you can make.

Father. Creator. Never that familiar. Familial, yes, but not disrespectful. I only used it sarcastically in this case to illustrate a point. [He has a decent amount of FEAR of his Father. Since if he goes too far he still has a lot he can lose.]

You too Elaine. Sorry you're catching me in one of my atonalist periods. [To stick with the music references.] Is your version of your father still around? My version often sends me unsolicited advice like this, that I can't even ignore for it making too much sense. You're doing the same thing. It's... a compliment. [Nope. Couldn't be more awkward.]

I'm fine with them being curses. They can't weaken me. Pointing out places for me to work on strengthening isn't much different from Beelz' working specific muscle groups. [NO LISTEN, HE IS NOT AGREEING WITH HER. BECAUSE HE WILL NOT FUCKING CALL THEM BLESSINGS. STFU.] And while I cursebreak as a hobby, this isn't one that has been serving me poorly. [And he mostly just cursebreaks to free trapped spirits when they're ready. And it gives him that sense of accomplishment rush of PRIDE he so THRIVES on.]

Gotcha. [She lifts a hand platically, and muses why he said not disrespecfully. Right. Uncle wasn't informal because Lucifer is too pompous to be, but he scorned his Father with all the disrespect he could muster. That was mostly the point.

She doesn't ask this because, hey, she respects boundaries and wants to be helpful, not nosy.]

It's okay. You sound like you're undergoing a lot of work-slash-family-related stress. Don't sweat it. [She grins, still odd he's so young looking. The youngest uncle she met for sure. Maybe she should have manifested younger to get a more niece-vibey? Like twelve or thirteen? The age she was when she met Lucifer before her life went metaphorically to Hell.] Oh no, I'm all there's left of our family home. That was my dad, my uncle, and, er, grandfather are all gone for different reasons. So I got to pick up the family business on my own. [Her smile wanes a touch, but stays there, comforting and understanding. She doesn't clarify what happened and why they are missing.

Elaine means Torch, and that has been ~~pushed~~ passed onto her long before this conversation to take place.] Thanks for the compliment. I was actually closer to my uncle. When I had to choose between them, I went with Lucifer [It wasn't a dramatic moment, but Michael was hurt she chose to trust his brother more. Even if she was like, twelve and just met him? Really? The ego of some cosmic beings.], but he also told me I had my dad's temperament, but his flexibility. [Minus the whole emotional baggage they both came with. But she got that a lot.]

Well, let's try with a metaphor. [ She takes a long breath before going to go full mentor mode, but she doesn't know how his powers work; she could run her mind to find out, but that would be intrusive. Maybe. Even if he won't know she did, she would, and that isn't her point or place to be. This isn't Her Creation, but an orphaned soft place. ] Right now, you're like a sponge who is absorbing all those emotions, or maybe a magnet too that draws them in. You need to will yourself to become a shield, and to do that, you need to be one hundred percent aware of your emotions and thoughts, everything else you can block once you do. Does it make sense?

[Please, Elaine, don't go younger on him. He already comes across to too many as baby more angelic Lucifer than he can handle. It's a whole big time travel thing he gets migraines from if he thinks too hard on it. But genuinely, he hates kids. Don't worry, he's never forgotten he's millions of years old, EVEN IF everyone starts hearing about his love of factory tours and places him at BABY. He's still not Luke levels of chihuahua baby but still.]

[Oh no everyone's gone. It's so weird to think of them reproducing and dying. So fucking weird.]

[He's a million kinds of surprised that she chose him over Michael. FFS. Even Lucifer might choose Michael over himself. ARE YOU A MASOCHIST CHILD?! No no, he's gentler to women. Lilith stuff. If he gets the courage, someday he'll ask. But not today, ~~Satan Father Universe~~ Multiverse!]

[Dear Father: what is the deal with the versions of you. Dear Father OF Father, turtles the whole way down / up, what is the deal with the VERSIONS of Father, that's weird. Even for you. - Peace, Lucifer out, don't worry about responding, he ain't gonna take your calls.]

Well, I have mixed feelings about that. [Michael's comments on her being like Lucifer in a mixed bag way. Happy, CONCERNED, daunted--] But I'll try not to let you down. [... If he even could. From all he's heard all the other Lucifers are bigger twats than him. Which is... actually saying a lot. Then again, who knows? Some of them have way more... not friends/family but orbiters. Maybe there's SOMETHING there.]

[Lucifer would know if she did a mind check, but ABSOLUTELY let her. If she asks politely he'll grant her greater access, but then that's probably a good reason not to, because there are some horrors in there no one should see, and deeper than the causal "murder torture stab stab stab" surface and "I LOVE MY FAMILY THEY ARE SO AWESOME" - albeit barely, she could probably pick up that part of his fall was to even try protecting God the Father from the pain of destroying his own creations he loves so much. WHICH YEAH, IS SOME NEXT LEVEL ARROGANCE, LIKE WTF. But if anyone was going to be capable of that next level way too much pride arrogance, it's obviously Lucifer Morningstar. So no, no disrespect towards his Father. Many of his brothers think as it is, Lucifer just imprinted on Diavolo to try to make him Father 2.0 (he didn't, but it's obvious why they joke about it.)]

[He nods.]

No more magnet-sponge, be a shield.

[Oh wait. The harder part is admitting how much of his own emotions are his own. Oof.]

[BIG OOF.]

[Alright.]

[Fuck.]

[He's Lucifer Morningstar, he can do anything he sets his mind to.]

[Loves family easy peasy. Not a lot of that running around Hell. Besides, even he knows he gets gooey and says it IN THE OPEN when he's drunk. So it's not as well hidden as he fucking wants. Obviously.]

[Hates... injustices?]

[It's a weird feedback circle. Part of the magnet-sponge. The more others suffer from it, the more he absorbs their thoughts and pain, the more all he can condense it into is his rage at the problems because they're not things he can fix directly.]

[Is that his feelings?]

[Let's go with yes. While tangled, it's not, NOT his feelings.]

[Trying new things to be unpredictable. Obvious feedback loop problem again. The predictability is old reassurance like a comfortable blanket he knows well. The unpredictability is adapting, growing stronger, but can't come without external input, but that's still, HIS decisions. So as with trying rock instead of classical for the music competition, it was still Lucifer being Lucifer.]

[He shakes his hand through his hair.] I'm alarmed by how much input I am allowing others onto my psyche.

[Not just the empathy, but influencing minor decisions. IS IT even a bad thing? Isn't it literally what he wanted Father to do MORE????]

[The danger is obviously this. This having to disentangle himself from... Hell, but well, God has that with Creation, doesn't he? It's fine.]

[Okay. The toughest ones. Diavolo and Sheep-chan.]

[Neither can be wholly disentangled from the rest of Hell's love of them. That's fine.]

[But Lucifer would definitely love them even if Hell hated them.]

[So there's that too.]

[He loves them differently how everyone loves them, and maybe that's a lot of Pride in there.]

Do you have to do this often, or is it only because I've allowed it to reach this point?

[To say it's uncomfortable is an understatement. At least it's not excruciating. But he doesn't like that it's almost cleansing, but he kind of does at the same time, since he likes being clean. THE CONUNDRUM.]

[At least he feels... calmer. Peaceful-er even.]

[Well, she's always been one of those mature kids. The types who grow up fast because they have to take care of others; in this case, 'others' stands by Creation itself. But usually, she was the one who kept her head cool and tried to look into solving things with the least collateral damage involved before that.

It's still weird that he doesn't look older than the appearance she chose. She can ignore the dark hair, but the youth and asking for advice is certainly odd. Lucifer was, in many ways, her father figure after she abandoned the make-believe life she had in London. Even if he was a self-centred git, he was still her (hands-off) mentor.

And hey, she was twelve, and just found out her real parent was Michael, while Lucifer had saved her at least twice by then. So he was, in her old childlike awe, her trustworthy superhero. But who keeps the score when you hurt those angels' massive prides?]

Uhh, well, think of it this way-- I have Michael's er, benevolence, but I can adapt to things like Lucifer. That's basically it.

[She grins. It's because she doesn't like using people like pawns, which usually... her uncle did and a lot. While Michael was too obstinate and unable to adjust as Lucifer does to changes. In a way, she's been shaped by both of them.] Hey no, you don't have to say that.

[...Sheesh. Looking sheepish, she clarifies.]

I know you're different from my uncle. It's really fine. I don't expect you to be the same. Each Creator... [She searches the words to explain what's packed deep into her core of knowing.] Well, all things are a bit of a reflection of each temperament. So your Father isn't like Lucifer's Father. So you're not him.

[She holds his gaze in warm reassurance. If she feels anything from his bouncing emotions, she's keeping it under wraps. She doesn't think he's realized yet what she meant that she's running the family business. But okay, it's better that way. It could turn awkward pretty fast.]

Sorry, do you want me to stay out of it? [She holds up both hands.] I just want to help. When would I get the chance to help the great Lucifer again? [ She gives him a pair of thumbs up.] I think you're doing brilliant so far.

[Hmmmm. Give her a moment.]

I think it'll take enough time until your body automatically does it--A shield isn't like a wall. You're not rejecting those feelings and people, you're just, well protecting your own as yours and your sanity. [That's why she used that metaphor.]

I got an easier time because of my upbringing. A couple raised me in London until my early adolescence, when I found out they adopted me---well, anyway. [She's not trying to deliver her backstory, but helping to grasp the difference.] The point is that I thought I was human, and because of that perception, I was transformed into a quasi-human, and my powers weren't as strong then. I still got intrusive emotions and thoughts, but I could bear with them from an early age until I got used to shield myself. When I learned the truth, I was good at just being me.

[Hardest part was to actually let got of her limitations.]

Feeling any better?

Edited (html failure) 2026-01-23 05:43 (UTC)

[Lucifer too. Except at least he narrowed it down to angels at first. But the idea that he exists for some other purpose than protecting and teaching the angels, even to the explicit level of defying his Father, is a very new one, in so little as it occurs to him at all. And so far he just sums it up with, "change the 3 realms" to be more of what the denizens want, and follow Diavolo's lead of maintaining stabilizing peace and balance.]

Oh, I know. [He's not like any other Lucifer. And he can and DOES attribute it to Diavolo. And he wouldn't change it for anything.]

No, you're fine. [He appreciates it... but he blinks anyway...] Shut up. [Ahhhhhhh little known fact: he actually gets very flustered by most normal compliments, Diavolo embarrasses the hell out of him, and it's generally tricky to appease his ego despite his general arrogance etc. He clearly doesn't mind it though, since he's listening.]

[He listens, understanding, though he has an irrepressible urge to find the other Michael and kick his ass. What is it with all these AU angels just having offspring and neglecting them!? If it wasn't LITERALLY a requirement to the magic that Lucifer and his brothers could NEVER find Lilith's reincarnations/descendants themselves, there's no other force in the universe that could have stopped them! Sheesh.]

Yes. [Firm nod. Though he's waffling on trying to figure out how to fix everything else to get it all done at once, and taking it PIECES at a time, because overdoing things is a bad habit thanks to his pride.]

[What is something puzzling him in the empathy feedback veins lately?]

[.......]

[Okay, he thought of one, but he's not willing to ask about it!!!]

Okay, okay. Shutting up. [Cross her heart. He's flustered? Elaine has to give a double-take when she's told to shut up. Never saw that coming. He's weak to praise? That's one thing she's making a mental note of: this valuable info!

That wasn't Michael's fault. She'll defend her dad if she knew. The manner of her origin is very... special. And upsetting. She'll avoid elaborating unless she has to. Angels are actually incapable of siring or conceiving children (except for Elaine when she was still one -- and that was intentional). ]

Well, try mediation too. If you get out of the zone, it may be helpful to focus.

[ She adds as an extra-bonus assistance. ]

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listen to your heart 😌

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