ｌｅａｄ ｆｉｓｈ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ldfsh) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2025-07-11 11:35 am
ldfsh) wrote in bakerstreet2025-07-11 11:35 am
Entry tags:
A: Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
B: Yeah, we're at the ER. Lian kind of sort of shot Ollie. Its so hard to look disapproving when an arrow is sticking out of his ass cheek.
C: I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
D: You could see the bone sticking out of his shin, and he insisted he was "just going to walk it off"
E: Wildcard
B: Yeah, we're at the ER. Lian kind of sort of shot Ollie. Its so hard to look disapproving when an arrow is sticking out of his ass cheek.
C: I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
D: You could see the bone sticking out of his shin, and he insisted he was "just going to walk it off"
E: Wildcard
Finally moved over and trying to get back to tagging!
rockabillygenius
- 2025-07-12 17:19 (UTC) - Expand
001. Stop whatever it is that you're doing and come play with my hair. 002. When I was younger I thought 'male enhancement' pills just made you a better guy. The man on the commercial had a big smile on his face and they made a point of how happy his wife was and everyone loved him. 003. I can't be seen with you. You look like you walked into a gift shop and wore everything they had on the rack and I respect myself more than that. Either let me dress you or go alone. 004. Which one of you keeps giving my phone number away to random people?! 005. Put the energy drink down and step away from it. byo. ( ✨or wildcard that bitch✨ )
i. Have you considered testing overconfidence on anything but your own body? I think we’ve well established it leads to nothing good.
ii. It’s not that I won’t do it. I’d just like to know why.
iii. That’s the third person this week who’s been involved in that cult. I would, admittedly, like for the people around me to stop founding and joining cults.
iv. Yes, I would still care for you if you were somehow transformed into a worm. The more pressing question is why you believe you might one day wake up a worm.
v. [Happy Arcaneshow-as-TFLN-Highlight Day ig??? Anyway, wildcard option. Misfires, crosscanon/crossmedium, be serious be silly, all fun 👍]
I do not. But asking that question seems to be a fad that has been going around my staff.
I suspect the frivolity dulls the edge of asking posing the same question framed in realistic scenario, such as "Would you still care for me if I were crippled and infirm".
I suspect the frivolity dulls the edge of asking posing the same question framed in realistic scenario, such as "Would you still care for me if I were crippled and infirm".
1: Do you know of this thing called "Google"? I am learning so much!
[Several minutes later.]
I HAVE MANY CONCERNS AND AS MANY REGRETS.
2: I apologize for fainting.
I forget most are not aware I am allergic to iron objects.
3: I cannot stop making cupcakes.
I continue to consime them but there are yet so many left.
I should not have learned this forbidden human knowledge.
4: [ text him ]
1) It appears you’ve made quite the impression on my raven.
2) Fair warning, I’ve had family visiting of late.
3) A new book of yours has appeared in the Library.
4) They have an unusual way of holding a grudge.
5) There are easier ways to get my attention, you know.
6) Wildcard. Misfires/crosscanon/assumed CR are welcome.
2) Fair warning, I’ve had family visiting of late.
3) A new book of yours has appeared in the Library.
4) They have an unusual way of holding a grudge.
5) There are easier ways to get my attention, you know.
6) Wildcard. Misfires/crosscanon/assumed CR are welcome.
I wasn't trying to get your attention so much as trying to avoid the hordes of people trying to claim the bounty on my head. You happened to be a happy alternative.
01. FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
02. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a cautionary tale for others...
03. Since it's impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I've decided to have an ongoing crisis.
04. No, I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
05. You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of 'what the fuck' kind of stuff.
[voice testing!]
1. I told him he wasn't helping my abandonment issues by not responding to my texts at 4am.
2. I think I might have drank myself into bisexuality again.
3. I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
4. Did you mean it when you said you let me wear my rainboots in the shower because I was crying that I haven't gotten to use them yet?
5. Text him!
1. I told him he wasn't helping my abandonment issues by not responding to my texts at 4am.
2. I think I might have drank myself into bisexuality again.
3. I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
4. Did you mean it when you said you let me wear my rainboots in the shower because I was crying that I haven't gotten to use them yet?
5. Text him!
1. You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
2. Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
3. I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
4. I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
5. This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
6. [ Text them! ]
2. Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
3. I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
4. I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
5. This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
6. [ Text them! ]
1) i don't know why i bit your face last night, but i'm sorry.
2) i have the coolest burn here. everyone is taking my picture. i'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
3) dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
[ character info! ]
2) i have the coolest burn here. everyone is taking my picture. i'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
3) dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
[ character info! ]
Edited 2025-07-11 17:14 (UTC)
im not mad, but i did tell my coworkers a dog bit my lip and they believed me
1 - And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
2 - I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
3 - Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
4 - I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
5 - A dick pick is not a good way to say you're sorry.
6 - I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
7 - [Text him!]
2 - I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
3 - Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
4 - I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
5 - A dick pick is not a good way to say you're sorry.
6 - I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
7 - [Text him!]
1. Don't ever let a recipe tell you how many chocolate chips to put in. You measure that shit with your heart.
2. Guess who got their life together!! Not me, but someone else probably has.
3. I've met some pricks in my lifetime but he is truly the fucking cactus.
4. I'm coming dangerously close to the age where I start doing puzzles on the coffee table for recreation.
5. Why are there no night museums? Because there are three movies explaining what happens at night in museums.
6. wildcard!!
2. Guess who got their life together!! Not me, but someone else probably has.
3. I've met some pricks in my lifetime but he is truly the fucking cactus.
4. I'm coming dangerously close to the age where I start doing puzzles on the coffee table for recreation.
5. Why are there no night museums? Because there are three movies explaining what happens at night in museums.
6. wildcard!!
Just when I thought you couldn't get any more pathetic or boring. No wonder your still a virgin.
1 - Sometimes I just want to serenade you with cheesy 80s songs. Is that so wrong?
2 - I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
3 - Things overheard: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
4 - I'm gonna fight the coyote.
5 - Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes.
6 - Sorry I couldn't continue. Stage fright.
7 - [Text him!]
2 - I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
3 - Things overheard: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
4 - I'm gonna fight the coyote.
5 - Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes.
6 - Sorry I couldn't continue. Stage fright.
7 - [Text him!]
i] You were convinced the crows were laughing at you. In fairness, they were xx
ii] I got kanelbulle and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was.
iii] Babe, are you about to eat tacos off the floor again?
iv] At what point should shame kick in?
v] [attachment.jpg]
vi] [text him etc etc!]
ii] I got kanelbulle and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was.
iii] Babe, are you about to eat tacos off the floor again?
iv] At what point should shame kick in?
v] [attachment.jpg]
vi] [text him etc etc!]
1. i am not bailing you out of jail.
2. you kept ranting about how captain planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. other than that you kept it together.
3. you totally narrated my dog's thoughts for two and a half hours last night, and i was enthralled. i didn't say a single word, i just listened.
4. it's done, i'm done. goodbye veneer of class and dignity, it was nice knowing you.
2. you kept ranting about how captain planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. other than that you kept it together.
3. you totally narrated my dog's thoughts for two and a half hours last night, and i was enthralled. i didn't say a single word, i just listened.
4. it's done, i'm done. goodbye veneer of class and dignity, it was nice knowing you.
1 - I guess when we were done, I grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
2 - I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
3 - Come down off the roof.
4 - Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow.
5 - [Text him!]
2 - I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
3 - Come down off the roof.
4 - Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow.
5 - [Text him!]
1 - I autographed the condom wrapper.
2 - Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
3 - If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, I'm gonna eat that.
4 - Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
5 - Not the first funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
6 - I am coming home for anal
*a nap.
Well, both can work.
2 - Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
3 - If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, I'm gonna eat that.
4 - Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
5 - Not the first funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
6 - I am coming home for anal
*a nap.
Well, both can work.
1) The geese got out and the yard is a mess. Where are you?
2) You said, and I quote: "YOLO" and swallowed a ghost pepper whole. Your current suffering is no one's fault but your own.
3) I spoke to your therapist and found out you haven't been going to your appointments.
4) [Wildcard - text him!]
2) You said, and I quote: "YOLO" and swallowed a ghost pepper whole. Your current suffering is no one's fault but your own.
3) I spoke to your therapist and found out you haven't been going to your appointments.
4) [Wildcard - text him!]
o1. i'll have you know i have a tremendous sense of responsibility, mostly in shirking it. that's why i've never had sex without a condom
o2. yes yes fist, face, nose, break. please threaten entertainingly or we'll lose the crowd
o3. you would be so fortunate to fuck my mother
o4. i had planned to go home, drink until i couldn't see straight, and then hire a hooker. are you suggesting that the cunt is free?
o2. yes yes fist, face, nose, break. please threaten entertainingly or we'll lose the crowd
o3. you would be so fortunate to fuck my mother
o4. i had planned to go home, drink until i couldn't see straight, and then hire a hooker. are you suggesting that the cunt is free?
1. Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals
2. Too bad burritos don't cuddle back
3. The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
4. Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull while we are on the road-
5. Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
6. [text her!]
2. Too bad burritos don't cuddle back
3. The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
4. Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull while we are on the road-
5. Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
6. [text her!]
Not at all.
But now I'm curious.
Who were the people we met when you made me pretend to be your boyfriend?
But now I'm curious.
Who were the people we met when you made me pretend to be your boyfriend?
1. I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
2. And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
3. Ok I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas bonus
4. Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
5. You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
2. And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
3. Ok I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas bonus
4. Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
5. You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
1. Did you seriously just text me 3 am to complain about the cost of cat food?
2. I woke up and my entire desk was covered in different house plants. Care to explain?
3. The state of my blood pressure should really be the least of your worries.
4. Remind me again why I shouldn't kill him.
5. You are living proof of reincarnation. No one can be this stupid in one lifetime.
6. [text him!!]
2. I woke up and my entire desk was covered in different house plants. Care to explain?
3. The state of my blood pressure should really be the least of your worries.
4. Remind me again why I shouldn't kill him.
5. You are living proof of reincarnation. No one can be this stupid in one lifetime.
6. [text him!!]
don't act like you were asleep
Anyway why the hell do you need so much? This is gonna set me back
Anyway why the hell do you need so much? This is gonna set me back
1. Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
2. I can't tell if they're having sex or having an argument. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying.
3. It was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower.
4. I got so drunk last night that I sent a drunken letter to myself: "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
5. Let's turn this dislocated shoulder into a positive. Come to the infirmary, bring some sake, let's party.
2. I can't tell if they're having sex or having an argument. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying.
3. It was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower.
4. I got so drunk last night that I sent a drunken letter to myself: "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
5. Let's turn this dislocated shoulder into a positive. Come to the infirmary, bring some sake, let's party.
[ the poor rotom-phone assigned to this conversation... ]
I see you are impressed and frightened by my stealth and knowledge! I had disguised myself as one of your men when I learned of these gloryholes. The glory is all mine!
I see you are impressed and frightened by my stealth and knowledge! I had disguised myself as one of your men when I learned of these gloryholes. The glory is all mine!
1) Sometimes you have the self-preservation instinct of a snowglobe and I want to shake you real hard
2) "Peri, stop being mean" if you guys weren't doing stupid shit I wouldn't have to be mean to you. change starts with you.
3) Did you scare away another of her boyfriends...?
4) Someone asked if I was like ChatGTP, so I need you to strangle them for me.
5) I designed a new crew uniform. The hoodie comes with feline ears.
2) "Peri, stop being mean" if you guys weren't doing stupid shit I wouldn't have to be mean to you. change starts with you.
3) Did you scare away another of her boyfriends...?
4) Someone asked if I was like ChatGTP, so I need you to strangle them for me.
5) I designed a new crew uniform. The hoodie comes with feline ears.
I feel like you expect me to gripe about that. But felines are occasionally tolerable. I will absolutely wear one of those hoodies.
1. Stop sending me messages. I don't want them! I don't want to look at your words!! Return to sender!!!
2. Sol says your breathing could be optimized by thirty percent if you slept on your side instead of your back.
3. Tell me what this word means. Sol refuses.
4. Quit treating this like a game of hide-and-seek.
I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box, but sure. What's the word?1. He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
2. You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
3. There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
4. That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
5. The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
2. You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
3. There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
4. That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
5. The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
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