lovemod (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lovemod) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2025-05-25 09:55 am
lovemod) wrote in bakerstreet2025-05-25 09:55 am
Love me tinder
Maybe you can't find a date. Maybe you don't want to find a date. Maybe this whole thing was set up by your well-meaning friends, or your prank-playing enemies, or your over-involved mother. Whatever the reason, you're on a swipe-based dating system. Call it tinder, cuddlr, e-harmony but for shallow assholes... you're on it. What's the worst that could happen? |
FORMATTING
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No, they don’t. Not even close.
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Must make your job real frustrating sometimes, working within a system that was never designed to take care of everyone but likes to pretend that it was.
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It's endlessly frustrating but I had no delusions about the system that I was working in when I decided to take this course in it. Me and my fancy degree are better equipped to deal with those frustrations than the person who needs the help.
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But if that's what you're after, you're doing pretty well.
You know, you actually sound like the kind of guy who really wants to help people.
[ She remains skeptical, but it would be pretty nice to be wrong. ]
Do you have any allergies?
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There are dozens of us who actually mean it. I’m being facetious because I really do think that there are more than you’d expect but I know the lawyer stereotype.
An interesting question. None that I’m aware of.
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I don't expect most people to really mean it, lawyers or otherwise.
As for the question, I have a lot of cats. Probably wouldn't be much fun to go on a date with me if you'd end up struggling to breathe during.
Well, at least not for that reason.
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I think most people are inherently good or trying to do the right thing but I can understand why that might come across as pathological optimism.
How many is a lot of cats? Just out of curiosity.
See, now you're just teasing.
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Nah, people only want to do the right thing as long as it doesn't inconvenience them too much.
Eight cats, for now.
I like to tease. You're a lawyer, go ahead and sue me.
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I don't know about that. People help strangers all the time and that seems like it would be inconvenient.
Okay, that is a lot of cats. Are they rescues? Do they have names?
I'm going to have to draw up grounds for a suit and know where to deliver the paperwork. I might have to serve you documents so I should probably know where and how to do that.
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Some do I guess, but you said most. In my experience what most people want to do is look away.
Yes, they're rescues, and of course they have names.
Hmm, how do you feel about serving me some dinner along with the documents?
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Bystander effect is a theory that I subscribe to only in certain instances. I think with ability and resources, most people help.
I never had a pet, let alone eight of them, so I wasn't sure if you named rescues. The 'adorable pet videos on the internet' trend passed me by for obvious reasons.
These terms are acceptable. Do you want me to cook or pay?
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Seems like maybe we've had some pretty different experiences when it comes to people.
Everyone deserves a name.
Offering to cook for me on a first document serving? You know how to make a girl feel special.
You any good at it?
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It sounds like we might have. Actually, a lot of my experiences were pretty lousy but I guess I still keep trying to find good in people.
I agree. Is it hard to keep track of eight cats?
I'm not a world class chef or anything but I can throw together a decent meal. My cooking has had no complaints. Though that could be a blind pity thing. If I fuck it up, I have a lot of delivery menus.
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I've found that expecting the worst is a lot less disappointing. And every now and again you get pleasantly surprised.
No harder than keeping track of eight people.
You've made me curious now, so I'm taking the cooking option if you really don't mind inviting a stranger to your home.
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That's probably the safer way to live. Less disappointment and maybe a little less heartbreak. I'm not always the best at taking care of myself so maybe that's why I open myself up a little more than I should in that aspect.
I can barely keep track of one or two people, let alone eight.
I don't mind in the slightest. Just let me know a day and a time and I'll make it work. I'll change my schedule around.
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Maybe you're a bit of a masochist.
Being able to see them does make it a lot easier. Sorry if I came off as insensitive, it wasn't intentional.
You'll change your schedule around?
[ She lets out a baffled little laugh. ]
You always this accommodating?
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You know, you're not the first person who told me that. I just always figured it was the Catholicism.
[He barks a soft laugh at that one.]
Nah, I always go in for a good blind joke. I'm not overly sensitive about much of anything. I got thick skin early on.
I'm not always this accommodating. My work is important to me so I don't just rearrange my time for just anyone.
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A thick skin, but a soft heart?
Pretty curious what I did right to get that kind of special treatment now.
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Something like that. I'm told it's a bleeding heart more often than anything else.
It's been a pretty long time since I've enjoyed a conversation this much so it made rearranging the schedule to have more of that a no-brainer.
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A heart can be soft even if it's wounded.
You're sweet. I really like talking to you too.
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I like to think that.
So it makes dinner a no brainer. Any preferences on what I should make? Dietary restrictions? Vegetables that you hate that I should avoid at all cost?
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Since I've been getting special treatment here, I'll give you a disclaimer though. My heart is not soft.
[ That's not entirely true, but Selina isn't actually aware of that herself. ]
My schedule is pretty open. We could even do it tomorrow if you want. No dietary restrictions, never really had the opportunity to get picky so I tend to eat what's there.
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I don't know about that. People who don't have soft hearts down underneath don't rescue eight cats.
Tomorrow it is. It's a date. I'll send you my address and actually go grocery shopping. I've been swamped at work so living on protein bars.
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In spite of what some people might think, I don't really enjoy making bleeding hearts bleed more.
I save that for the assholes.
You sure tomorrow doesn't feel overeager? Guess we've already been skipping some of the usual steps anyway so maybe it doesn't matter.
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I don't think there's a statute of limitations that needs to expire before a date can be arranged. I'm envious of your flexible schedule though. What do you do for a living? I probably should have asked because if you're a black widow, I probably should prepare.
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