I was buying pornography

[gooseflesh]

THE MAGICAL SEX SHOP MEME   Uh-oh! Looks like you've just stumbled into Baker Street's hottest sex shop! Well, since you're here, feel free to make yourself at home. They're tons of aisles to peruse, so you can rest assured knowing that there's something here for everyone. Big toys, small toys, sex swings, dildos, butt plugs, chains, whips, ropes... And some things you might never have seen before, like shrinking potions, dick enhancement spells, gender swapping lotions — anything you would find in an Adam and Eve catalog, and then some. Our shop is even kind enough to offer a play space in the back, so you can try before you buy. We wouldn't want any unsatisfied customers, after all. That's bad for business! If you enjoyed your time here, please leave a five-star review; it really means a lot! 🍆HOW TO PLAY 1. Drop a top-level with some prefs and/or a shopping list, or an aisle of interest, or a backroom scenario to start things off. 2. Shop, share, try, buy, and see if anyone might need help! 3. Be merry! SOME OPTIONS 01] Ooh, honey, come look at this one. | It's always nice taking your partner along to see what there is in stock, get ideas - and then, of course, there's when you get to take your new purchase home to break it in. 02] What are you doing here?? | You'd never in a million years be seen in this kind of place, not by someone you know, that'd just be mortifying. Or is it you spy with your little eye somebody you thought was too vanilla to ever consider this sort of shopping spree? Whatever the nature of the encounter, it's more than a little awkward. Just smile and nod, right? 03] Now if you'll just look at the powerpoint I've prepared... | Maybe you didn't know it, but a lot of sex shops can and do host workshops. Ever wondered what the benefits of a cock ring are or how to have better, longer orgasms? Need a few fellatio tips? Whatever the topic, there's most likely a seminar for it. Hey, if nothing else there's usually punch and pie afterward. 04] Whips and chains excite me. | Mm, who doesn't love the smell of polished level and the shine of stainless steel. This is where you go if you're looking for the next level of intimacy. There's a special on cuffs if you buy the sex swing on sale. 05] Does this make me look fat? | The lingerie option. Thankfully there's a number of changing rooms to take advantage of to make sure things fit just right. Do a little turn on the catwalk, see how that g-string rides, maybe ask for a second opinion if you're feeling brave enough. 06] Good enough to eat. | Body paint, flavored lube, fruit roll up panties - this is where you get your omnom on. 07] So much for being subtle. | You must be a serious klutz to have knocked down that whole display or fallen on your face in the middle of the store like that. Bravo, champ. Not that it caused a huge commotion and mess for everybody in the shop to notice that you have to sort out with the staff now. Hope you've got enough in your pocket to cover whatever damages. 08] ...No, seriously, what is that? | You're staring and you're staring and you're staring but damned if you can figure out what up with this. Who could even need that many buttons? It takes what size batteries? Where is it supposed to go? How can it even fit? Who thought that was sexy? Is a modern art museum missing an exhibit? 09] Wild card!! | This is your blank check so scribble away!

Comments

Harley Quinn | DC | F/F

[quinnsical]

[Open to women over 21! Harley will be a kid in a candy store here, all of the toys interest her, but especially the whips, paddles, clamps, and other devices of their ilk. Hell, she may even actually pay for the things she takes!]

[oracle_knows]

OOC: Would Harley care for a nervous and embarrassed Barbara? (Possibly among the things Harley takes...)

Terry 🛸 Solar Opposites

[area69]

[Lets get weird.

Also very willing to help others find the remote to happiness.]

matt jamison | sex mage oc | ota

[semicharmed]

[ How could I not, right?

I actually love this meme so much I wrote up a TL on a previous one! I never got to use a bunch of those prompts, so if any of them strike you, please go for it. Tagging here or there works for me. I just want to use the shop name Ars Ho-etia again I'm a simple girl.

I am also always open to a wildcard.

More character info on Matt is here, kinks here. PM with questions or ask in a reply, whatever you like. ]

borrowing prompt 1 from the other toplevel, though 3 was tempting as hell. May borrow from 4, too.

[alivian]

[Alivian is grateful enough to not be visibly perceived when he walks in, and he's able to browse a bit at his leisure. Occasionally, when he's sure that no one is in range of being seen by him, he tips his mask up a bit to look at things without the constant blue filter of his mask to distort the colors. The wolf partially startles when he is spoken to at last. Making sure the mask is firmly back in place, he clears his throat, just in case his tone might sound weird from the jump in heart rate.

[When he does speak, his voice is somewhat low, with a natural sort of growl to it.]

Ahhh, thank you, but I'm only browsing for the moment. Trying to see if anything catches my eye. I'm a little.. picky, and I go by figurative feel.

[The toys he's perusing are familiar to him in shape, at least, although he's at least realized that he's not in his usual kind of shop...]

I uh, coming in, I didn't realize that a lot of this stuff is uh... enchanted?

[He tests the word with distinct unfamiliarity, and wanders a little closer to the counter to look around the bend of the aisle he's in to see more. This also means that his slight blush is visible beneath the rim of his domino mask - and along the tips and insides of his silver-furred ears.]

I'm used to stuff just being... not. I, er, I've never been here before, so it's that's new to me. Sorry.

[His tail gives a weak series of wags, ears wiggling outward and then up again in some listless nervousness - in an effort to convey what his mask hides away. Even his mouth is only set to the mildest of frowns.]

running with the old iv in the same handwavey jamjar setting as the christmas thread!

[crestsidestory]

[ Edelgard would not call herself a prude, exactly. Proper, yes; formal. And certainly (perhaps overwhelmingly) private.

Perhaps she is actually closer to it than she likes to consider herself but that hasn't stopped her from visiting the shop in the latest hours of the night, in a dark oversized hoodie with the hood drawn up, which frankly only serves to make her a more eye-catching contrast once you catch sight of her face: mildly flushed cheeks, lavender eyes, long pale braid tucked beneath the black hood.

She only came to indulge her curiosity a little but her weakness for pretty clothes draws her to the lingerie. Some of it truly isn't her style but there are plenty of color combinations and touchable materials -- when there is much material to touch at all -- and a few pieces stand out to her. A feathered robe, a mostly sheer bodysuit crafted in such a way that it must look like a bare torso emerges from a thick bed of red (lace) flowers, an unreasonably adorable pair of thigh-high stockings with flowering vines attended by bees.

She's so absorbed in looking that she almost doesn't recognize his voice at first.

She doesn't quite turn yet, feeling her cheeks warm. It's Matt, isn't it? This is not the place she would have chosen for encountering him again but it seems he... works here?

Fine. This is acceptable. A quick composure check before she turns around, not that it wipes away her blush. ]

Enchanted to do what?

Auryare | Original | OTA

[blandcula]

[Info + kinks. Open to any combinations you like.

Auryare is a vampiric eldritch creature from a post-apocalyptic world. Consider them "sight-seeing" in this realm. They're here to have fun and a magical sex shop is right up their alley!]

Reko Yabusame | Your Turn to Die | OTA

[musicaldemon]

[AUs, canon and crosscanon welcome. Watch as she dies of embarrassment.]

Sister Imperator (1969) | Ghost

[sisterimperator]

[ She was here for the fetish wear. That and the store owner worked for the Ministry. ]

Toki Wartooth | Metalocalypse | ota 18+

[dethangel]

[time to buy a real cool codpiece.

trying stuff on the wrong way? getting lost wandering the aisles? whacking somebody in the head with a dildo? looking for the weirdest, most expensive object he can find just for the hell of it? he probably shouldn't eat the panties. i'm especially interested in the weird magic possibilities (hell yeah transformation), but the regular stuff's fine too!

kinklist here!]

Bandou Saburouta | K

[pettymuch]

[ He's standing in the 'erotic literature' section, holding open a copy of The Idiot's Guide To...Pegging. With no intention to pay for the book, he's snapping photos of key pages with his phone. ]

[cutabout]

[ Oh, man, this guy looks perfect for teasing. Like way too perfect.

Übel slips up behind him and peers directly over his shoulder. ]

If you ask me, the best trick is to have a cute ass.

Ninia, KEEPER OF THE BLADE | Original | OTA

[internofdestiny]

[She is INTO this. Down for anything but 4.]

5

[poisonflytrap]

[ How the hell did Ivy get talked into this? Who knew. However she did, all she knew was that she was going to kill someone by the end of the day. Maybe not Ninia specifically... obviously, but someone.

For now, though, she's just tossing an outfit her way, not really concerned if she catches it or not. ]

Seriously? This one? This is beyond stupid.

Aurora || Ghost (Band) || OTA

[piccolademone]

[Smol ghoulette is just casually strolling around, looking at the toys and clothing.

She's paused to hold a few collars up to her neck and look at them in the mirror.]

übel | frieren: beyond journey's end | ota

[cutabout]

[ She might just be here to troll people, hard to say. Though maybe something will actually catch her eye?

Soon enough, Übel discovers that there's a section with books. Obtrusively, she starts going through them one by one, humming to herself and providing obnoxious commentary. ]

Dumb. Stupid. Boring. Really stupid. Seriously, not one decent grimoire? Do you think they keep the good stuff locked up in the back?

Urahara Kisuke | Bleach

[hatician]

[Per author shenanigans it's confirmed he sells sex toys... why not magic ones, too?

One would need his secret passphrase though as the store is mostly a candy shop during the day.]

Ashley | Original | OTA

[ironrider]

Stolas | Helluva Boss

[ornithomancy]

Kim Pine ~ Scott Pilgrim Universe ~ F/F

[350pointsmile]

[Welcome to No-Account Video. The last video rental shop in Canada, because in reality its a magic shop and normally mortals can't see the magical items on display...but something seems to have gone wrong and now anyone wandering in can see. The witch behind the counter doesn't seem too worried though.]

Allura ~ Rapscallion's D&D OC ~ OTA

[bimbard]

Patchouli Knowledge | Touhou Project | OTA

[heptagram]

[Really underscoring the magic here. Or perhaps she's browsing the books. Listen, if she ended up here, may as well make the most of it, right?]

asmodeus | helluva boss/hazbin hotel

[assmodeus]

[ he owns the shop and is here to help you find your toy/be your sex therapist or maybe you can try something out together. 21+ ]

kate kane | dc comics | f/f

[therednight]

Lucifer Morningstar | Milton's Paradise Lost | OTA

[the_rebel_son]

[I feel like he belongs here.]

[stark_ravingmad]

"Better the Devil you know?"

Tony just winked at Lucifer because this was obviously a sex shop and a special one at that.

"You into any of this stuff, Hot Wings?"

Maybe that was a dumb question.

steve harrington — stranger things

[spikedbats]

eddie munson — stranger things

[thefreak]