I was buying pornography

[gooseflesh]

THE MAGICAL SEX SHOP MEME   Uh-oh! Looks like you've just stumbled into Baker Street's hottest sex shop! Well, since you're here, feel free to make yourself at home. They're tons of aisles to peruse, so you can rest assured knowing that there's something here for everyone. Big toys, small toys, sex swings, dildos, butt plugs, chains, whips, ropes... And some things you might never have seen before, like shrinking potions, dick enhancement spells, gender swapping lotions — anything you would find in an Adam and Eve catalog, and then some. Our shop is even kind enough to offer a play space in the back, so you can try before you buy. We wouldn't want any unsatisfied customers, after all. That's bad for business! If you enjoyed your time here, please leave a five-star review; it really means a lot! 🍆HOW TO PLAY 1. Drop a top-level with some prefs and/or a shopping list, or an aisle of interest, or a backroom scenario to start things off. 2. Shop, share, try, buy, and see if anyone might need help! 3. Be merry! SOME OPTIONS 01] Ooh, honey, come look at this one. | It's always nice taking your partner along to see what there is in stock, get ideas - and then, of course, there's when you get to take your new purchase home to break it in. 02] What are you doing here?? | You'd never in a million years be seen in this kind of place, not by someone you know, that'd just be mortifying. Or is it you spy with your little eye somebody you thought was too vanilla to ever consider this sort of shopping spree? Whatever the nature of the encounter, it's more than a little awkward. Just smile and nod, right? 03] Now if you'll just look at the powerpoint I've prepared... | Maybe you didn't know it, but a lot of sex shops can and do host workshops. Ever wondered what the benefits of a cock ring are or how to have better, longer orgasms? Need a few fellatio tips? Whatever the topic, there's most likely a seminar for it. Hey, if nothing else there's usually punch and pie afterward. 04] Whips and chains excite me. | Mm, who doesn't love the smell of polished level and the shine of stainless steel. This is where you go if you're looking for the next level of intimacy. There's a special on cuffs if you buy the sex swing on sale. 05] Does this make me look fat? | The lingerie option. Thankfully there's a number of changing rooms to take advantage of to make sure things fit just right. Do a little turn on the catwalk, see how that g-string rides, maybe ask for a second opinion if you're feeling brave enough. 06] Good enough to eat. | Body paint, flavored lube, fruit roll up panties - this is where you get your omnom on. 07] So much for being subtle. | You must be a serious klutz to have knocked down that whole display or fallen on your face in the middle of the store like that. Bravo, champ. Not that it caused a huge commotion and mess for everybody in the shop to notice that you have to sort out with the staff now. Hope you've got enough in your pocket to cover whatever damages. 08] ...No, seriously, what is that? | You're staring and you're staring and you're staring but damned if you can figure out what up with this. Who could even need that many buttons? It takes what size batteries? Where is it supposed to go? How can it even fit? Who thought that was sexy? Is a modern art museum missing an exhibit? 09] Wild card!! | This is your blank check so scribble away!