bakerstreet | What do you notice?

That's what all the people say.

[ 'hero,' 'gangster who rules Crime Alley with an iron fist,' tomayto tomahto.

also the only people who don't like chili dogs are losers, so. ]

Absolutely not. Although-- seems like if I said yes you'd be the type to take off running like a feral cat.

Yeah, I bet.

[ he'e the only person he knows who likes them all that much, actually. ]

Fuck you, I'll take the chili dogs. But I know the best place here in Gotham, so follow me.

[ see: LOSERS. it takes a real man to eat three loaded chili dogs before going on rooftop patrol to do flips and shit ]

Lead the way, feral cat child.

You can call me Red, if you want. [ he says, knowing full well that it's gonna be Skunk ]

[ three to five, ok? ]

Don't call me that, asshole. My name's Jason.

[or maybe he'll just call the guy Asshole]

[ LMFAO YIKES THE UNLUCKIEST NAME. he does pause for a whole second, which is probably equivalent to a neon sign to any highly trained vigilantes in the area, but recovers bat-fast. nothing to see here nope, just unfortunate coincidences. ]

I dunno, feral cat child really seems like your vibe.

[ Jason notices the pause, narrowing his eyes for a whole second too. ]

Then I'll just call you Old Man Skunk.

[wow Jason, you know yourself so well.]

No really though, who sent you? Was it Bruce? You can tell him I'm not gonna lay into anyone during the day so he can chill out.

Skunk and Stray, the new dynamic duo.

[ he should. probably leave this alone? that's what he should probably do. lots of guys out there named jason that coincidentally happen to know other guys named bruce. super coincidental. doesn't mean anything at all.

he slaps a smile back on his face, but there's probably no helping the fact that his eyes just turned a little bit more green at the mention of bruce's name. this is why he should wear the helmet everywhere, always. ]

I can abso-fucking-lutely guarantee you, I was not sent. My whole deal now is that I do not get sent anywhere, by anyone.

This is a random encounter, because I have bad karma.

You're only duo-ing with me to get me chili dogs and that's that.

[he's already part of a duo and whatever this guy's here for, he's not buying it.]

Were you an errand boy in a past life or something?

Right, yeah.

[ alright jay be cool be fucking cool ]

Yep. Errand boy, getaway driver, right hand man except when it's decision time, stay here, do that, don't ask questions. Got old real fast.

[ they're almost at the place. Jason' favorite place, which is probably this other Jason's favorite place too. best chili dogs in Gotham, hands down. ]

Sounds lame. Good thing you got out.

[ yeah at this point he shouldn't be surprised it's the same food truck, because this kid is definitely a jason todd, critically endangered nocturnal bird. karma really woke up this morning and chose violence ]

I got out when a bomb went off and put me out. Didn't have the brains to consider that I should've quit way before that, that maybe my partner didn't have things under control.

[ he should probably frame this as a mafia story, same as any other sad sack from the wrong parts of gotham, but god knows he could never leave well enough alone. ]

I was younger than you.

Sounds like your partner was a crapshoot.

[not his, nope. there's nothing in the world that'll convince him that Batman isn't the absolute shit.]

You look like you made it out in a pretty put whole piece, considering a whole ass bomb went off.

[Jason stops in front of the truck, waving a hand toward it.]

Here we are, best fucking chili dogs you'll ever have. You're welcome. I'll take three, full works.

[ partners always are, when you're a teen sidekick.

he doesn't say that, of course. it wouldn't work. some rando guy on the street dropping weird intense hints wouldn't have convinced him of anything, back in the day. ]

Well, I got lucky. [ wow he can even say that with a straight face, somebody give him an award.

thank christ for chili dogs. he mirrors the kid's order and finds the least cocaine-encrusted hundred in his wallet to slip underneath the other bills, not caring if the kid sees it. he's a drug lord who gives back to the community, okay. ]

Buddy, you say that like I've never been here before. I'm from here, I know where the good food trucks are.

[the hints aren't very good, for starters.]

With all that luck you could've gone with better hair.

[Jason notices the money situation but it's Gotham. people love throwing their money around, apparently.]

My bad, I guess you just come off as really fucking clueless. Bet you don't know where all the good ones are, though.

[ shush he's white-knuckling this against the green tinted urge to slam the kid's head against the side of the truck, witnesses be damned, and haul him off to some nice basement dungeon where no one will ever find him and hurt him, including the big bad bat.

it's not like, a good plan, but he could make it work. ]

The-- road to recovery gave me this, actually. [ he fingers the white forelock absently, taking a bite of chili dog. ] The physical therapy was actual torture, 0/10, do not recommend.

I know all the good places near the Alley.

[ well, at least slamming his head into the side of a truck would be better than slamming his head against a crowbar.

Jason eyes the Skunk, taking a big bite of his chili dog as well. he's a pro at not getting messy with it or dropping a single piece. but now he's a little more on the curious side, rather than just tossing out careless witty remarks. ]

You said it was an explosion?

[he takes another bite.]

Me too. That's where all the best places are anyways.

Mm. Among other things.

[ like crowbars. maybe it's time to push a little. ]

I'm sure I don't have to tell a smart kid like you to stay away from the freaks in Gotham, right? You get one guy dressing up and putting on a mask, and then suddenly all the gangsters think they need to wear masks and get weird. Masks are bad for business.

Take it from me, don't ever work for one. On either side.

[Jason snorts.]

Now you're the one talking to me like I'm not from here, man. Masks are already here. Deal with it.

[ alright ok it's go time

calmly, ]

Okay. Let me stop speaking metaphorically.

He'll drop you like hot garbage the second you stop being useful. You're already a replacement, and he won't hesitate to get another one after you.

[well that definitely flips a mood switch faster than anything else ever could.]

This, coming from the washed up errand boy who couldn't hold on to what he had, huh? Don't come after me cause you're jealous of what I've got.

[ this is gonna end in a fistfight and he's not even going to get to finish his last chili dog :| ]

You're not listening to me. It's not about you. I know him.

[save the fist fight, cause Jason's not wasting his chili dogs on this guy.]

Thought you said you didn't, now you suddenly do? The fuck do you even want, huh?

Never said I didn't. I just said he didn't send me.

Well, I'm currently in the process of trying to save your dumb ass, Robin.

Who the hell are you?

The ghost of Christmas Future.

What do you notice?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

fff ignore that misfire

xD THOSE EYES THO xD

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

internally j's like hmm what if i just kidnapped this conveniently unsupervised sidekick

Lmao Jason's version of saving himself.

batfam show they care via surveillance and abductions!!!

xD

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)