First time

[lilpoundcake]

my first time went like... This isn't a smut meme. Well, it is, but it isn't. Only, theoretically, it could be a little bit. OKAY WAIT don't leave. What I mean to say is that...do you have a headcanon about how your character's first time went down? What it was like? Who it was with? You do? Cool. Now it's time to share that story. And by that I mean your character is required by meme law to spill the details, ICly. Publicly. How fun! rules. - No blank comments, natch. You're gonna plop that first time reminiscence right in the top level; play the idea straight, be as awkward or funny or crazy/sexy/cool as you wanna. - Yes, "I've never had sex" and related answers are accepted. - Reply to others' /r/ihavesex worthy debauchery.

Comments

I was really, really lonely in hell and got fucked by a succubus.

[kimchis]

[ This isn't the first time the King of Blood and Slaughter has admitted this, but he's still got some serious PTSD from the whole revolting encounter.

Hence why he looks broken. ]

It hasn't happened yet. I think I'm too young, and I'm not really interested, either.

[unlikeson]

Maybe that's just another thing that's different about me.

...why the hell are you asking me?

[gothbf]

Behind the horse stables with the stable boy.

[maidenmarian]

O-Oh my goodness! I would never-!

[tendrement]

Of course you wouldn't, my lady.

It was with another guy in my cohort

[wolfdogwitcher]

"It was like that for most of us." He says, referring to the novice witchers grouped together by age and ability, classes of ten or so boys. "I mean, we're together all the time from kids until you're grown enough to be sent on the Path. Nobody else around, really."

I was 19, and I cried.

[bit_awkward]

Talk about a total mood killer.

[meltinglight]

If it makes you feel better? I love it when my virgins cry.

It was a viscount from Vanaheim on a diplomatic visit.

[coldsong]

He swore he was going to leave his wife for me, but we both knew he was lying.

My first time with a woman was a Midgardian widow. Summoned me to get petty vengeance on her landlord. Sex was just a bonus.

[vigilly]

I don't know if I should say this, but perhaps it was your luck that he was even willing to pretend.

it was a knight.

[traitors]

I was way, way too young, but it was my job to start causing problems in the court, so.

[sorelois]

All the more dishonor upon him, I should think.

I've never had a 'time' to tell about.

[innerbeauty]

If you still want to hear a story, though, I could try to make one up. [ Tented fingers lean against her chin. ]

[ripe]

[ She has so little patience for Mantis most of the time. But this could actually be good. After a quick risk vs. reward calculation comes up ?????? she decides to go for it.

With the air of someone who strongly suspects she's about to regret this, ] Let's hear it.

In high school with one of my best friends.

[eyerasure]

It was bad. Neither of us knew what we were doing... But he kept it from being too awkward.

[meltinglight]

Best friends to lovers?! Awkward or no, that's beautiful!

depending on the timeline, it was after my wedding to another man was crashed, or in a cockpit

[nobleconfidant]

[chili_sauced]

...how spacious are your cockpits? I've done it that way too but it's not comfortable.

Had a wedding crashed too but it was by my brother so y'know.

College girlfriend. She was... more enthusiastic than I think I was ready for.

[infinite1ups]

Married to the love of my life by a drunken septon and then it all to shit.

[largeshadow]

Still wondering where whores go.

[ Yes, he's still very traumatized by this, thank you for asking. ]

[holdshisown]

I am sorry things did not turn out well for you... I wouldn't be able to say where they go, my people do not hold to such customs.

[He knew of that particular human practise, ofcourse, though he did not really understand it and so he refrained from judging them too harshly.]

mated as soon as i reached dragon adulthood.

[mordeo]

I'm small, but I'm considered a good catch.

Virgin.

[coldgloves]

[Look, the opportunity just... hasn't happened yet.]

[coldsong]

[Loki stares for a little longer than is strictly necessary, or diplomatic, then clears his throat and looks away apologetically.] You're very beautiful. [And full of cold-aspected magic, which is what his Jotun eyes were caught by.]

Anyway. Take your time, Lady. Choose someone who truly values you, whether you mean to be with them forever or not.

It was somewhere we were way too easily heard, unfortunately.

[weedeater]

I won't say who with but it was awkward and in a cramped space.

[partyhats]

Wasn't the worst thing ever, though.

I think by polite society's standards it was a crime?

[shrieking_violet]

...yeah.

I was fourteen and I was hungry

[immortal_pirate]

I don't even remember his name, but he caught me trying to pick his pocket. Was my first go at that too.

[coldsong]

I hate how many times I have heard that story, or variations on it. You deserved better.

In a movie theater when I was sixteen.

[butwhywait]

We couldn't do anything more than make out and finger each other, but it was still amazing.

Wonder if I still have her number...

[flatcola]

So bold.

If that showing wasn't totally empty someone probably caught on.

Hasn't.

[lones]

Mind your own fucking business. ( get it, fucking business, get it. he's not going to smile about it, do it yourself. because he's a prick. )

You got stock in how many fucks I generate?

Childhood friend-turned-girlfriend. It was SUPER sappy and it was AMAZING

[determinationtofist]

Huh? I don't think I was that sappy...

[ Anybody who knows how Hibiki gets around Miku will know that it was 100% that sappy. ]

My half-cousin in a forest glade

[holdshisown]

[He's too mortified to even speak. That was supposed to be a secret.]

Random hot guy, I killed him

[stretchy_girl]

I'd not long worked out how to retake human form. I was 19, I wanted to see what it would be like to have a guy inside me, so I went to the bar, picked up the hottest guy I could find, took him to a hotel room.

Part way through I panicked and lost control of my form and started to melt. His lust turned to disgust and he started screaming, so I killed him to shut him up. So yeah, didn't go too well.

[evergreengar]

You know most guys would be thrilled to hear they made a girl melt.

Not saying you handled his reaction super well but clearly he wasn’t on your level.

Like most people I was probably waaaay too young.

[pissant]

I had no idea what I was doing, she was sixteen and I was fourteen and I thought I was so damn cool.
In reality I'm sure I probably looked like some sort of weird fish that hopped out of Florida everglades and thought he'd have a go at mating.

[flatcola]

That is... a weirdly compelling way of describing teens trying to have sex, yeah.