Feed me tacos and call me pretty.

[enya]

HOW TO SEDUCE THEM

It's like having a cheat code for winning their heart when you know all of their weaknesses!

How to play.
- We're out of our blank top level era.
- Instead, in the subject line, drop what would make your character character go feral for somebody.
- In come the replies where folks either try to sweep them off their feet or make them feel like garbage for their garbage tastes/

Comments

[beefyspaghetti]

I just know what I like. Nothing desperate about it.

[tfy]

That's quite the low standard, though. Surely you must have more specific criteria than that? This isn't a "beggars can't be choosers" situation, is it?

[beefyspaghetti]

What can I say? I never met a pair of legs I'd mind getting between.

Beggars? I'd beg if a lover wanted me to. Get right down on my knees and crawl for them, if they said it right. But that's not desperation. I'm just open minded.

1/2

[tfy]

[. . . . .]

2/2

[tfy]

... I wasn't aware that I was talking to an overgrown dog and not a person.

[He sounds almost a little cross. Perhaps it's the vulgarity, or perhaps it's just the fact that he'd been hoping for a funny (over)reaction and received pure shameless self-assurance instead.]

Putting aside that vulgar thing you just said, that sort of loyalty would be more inspiring it was aimed at someone specific, and not just any pair of legs.

[beefyspaghetti]

[ If Joe has a speck of shame left in his big, beefy body, may the good lord strike him down where he stands. ]

How else am I supposed to find the legs I wanna be between forever?

[ Joe snorts, a little indelicately. ] I dunno what you want me to say here. Looking for me to make some big confession about someone you don't even know?

[tfy]

Er... not referring to them like that would be a good start...

[He shakes his head, almost a tad bewildered. But he quickly musters up his normal energy.]

Nope! I could be nice and tell you, "You shouldn't throw yourself at just anyone. Although you're certainly not my type at all, there surely must be someone out there who'd find you charming. Dogs are quite popular, after all. You ought to have more faith that things will all work out in the end." ... But after hearing you talk some more, I'm not sure you need my encouragement. If anything, it feels like I should go back to discouraging you, so you won't keep saying such terribly vulgar things in my presence!

[beefyspaghetti]

Seems like you could stand to be nicer, actually. Maybe I'd return the favor.

We're talking about seduction here. So again, kinda confused what you're looking for. It's a pretty general question. You wanna get less general, maybe I could be more specific.

[tfy]

Well, since you love begging so much, you could always try that next. Perhaps I'll come to like you after all!

[Ha. Ha.]

Even that subject that can be handled with some delicacy, you know. Though I'm not sure how that topic was decided to start with?

[beefyspaghetti]

Don't much care whether you like me. If your idea of a conversation is relentlessly insulting someone, it doesn't seem like you're a very good friend.

[tfy]

I'm not too sure what friendship has to do with it... Plus you also assumed quite a lot just now! But well, I'll worry about being a good friend, and you just work on finding an owner who will treat you right, hm?

[beefyspaghetti]

Yes, Master.

[tfy]

[...]

Are you expecting a treat?

[beefyspaghetti]

You wanna give me one?

[tfy]

No, I left all those at home, I'm afraid... I suppose I could scratch you underneath the chin or behind the ears if you want?

[beefyspaghetti]

Starting to seem like you're the one who's really into this dog thing.

[tfy]

Well, I'm all set on dogs at the moment, but since I'm also kind and generous, I thought it might be worth it to indulge you!

[beefyspaghetti]

Go ahead. Indulge me with some of that kindness and generosity.

[tfy]

Right, well, since you're a little bit taller than me, first you'll have to bow your head a bit! Then I'll give you what you want.

[beefyspaghetti]

Ask nice.

[tfy]

Ah, feeling shy, are we?

[It feels more than a bit strange to use this tone on a grown man who's larger than him, but he slips into his babytalk/pet owner voice, anyway, beckoning Mr. Green Mullet closer with his fingers.]

C'mon, c'mon...♪ Come on over and I'll give you lots of love ♪

[beefyspaghetti]

[ God, Joe is trying so hard not to laugh, and he's only barely managing it. But also? Not moving; just standing his ground, arms crossed and mouth twitching against a smile. ]

Wow. Guess I'm a bad dog. What are you gonna do about it?

[tfy]

[He drops his arms.]

Well, if I was your owner, I'd keep trying to find ways to entice you. But since I'm not your owner, I don't see any reason to do that. So, I guess I won't be doing anything.

[Unlike some people here, Hiyori isn't the type to beg.]

[beefyspaghetti]

You didn't even try. How are you ever supposed to train a dog when you don't have any patience?

[tfy]

Who said I don't have patience? I won't tolerate such slander—I have plenty of patience where it counts.

[Hiyori's dog—his real dog, not the underclassman he jokingly refers to as his dog—was trembling in fear the day he picked her up. She'd been in a weak, frail state, and her fur was matted with blood. She spent the whole night yelping after he brought her to the dorms.

But that was quite a while time ago. Now, she sleeps easily, willingly accepting all his smothering affection.]

I'm just not out to train you, since I'm not your owner anyway! Unless...

[...]

... don't tell me you were hoping to be punished for disobedience?