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[abbacchiohno]

A QUESTION FOR A QUESTION


YOU MAY KNOW EACH OTHER ALREADY - OR YOU MAY NOT. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, YOU'RE NOW PASSING THE TIME ASKING EACH OTHER QUESTIONS. IT'S A GAME! A QUESTION FOR A QUESTION. YOU START OFF ASKING YOUR OPPONENT A QUESTION OF CHOICE AND IF THEY ANSWER IT, THEY'RE ALLOWED TO ASK YOU A QUESTION IN TURN. THE RULES ARE SIMPLE, ONLY AS LONG AS YOU ANSWER THE OTHER PERSON'S QUESTIONS ARE YOU ALLOWED TO ASK QUESTIONS YOURSELF, BUT THERE IS NO EXPECTATION OF TRUTHFULNESS HERE, LIE IF YOU MUST OR WANT, JUST KEEP THE MOMENTUM GOING.

How to play -
1. Comment with your character's name, fandom and preference.
2. If you want, leave a question in the comment field that your character is asking their opponent. Or don't. I'm not the cops.
3. Pick other characters to question and have fun!

Comments

[sorryethan]

[ Other times, it's a double-edged sword and when one end goes in, so does the other. She's right that he knows, but it's also as much him as the guilt weighs heavily on him still after all this time. She's not the only one who seeks it out. ]

I did, but you're not the only one. You've gone far before.

[ The implication feels suffocating and obvious. He'd never hold her accountable for what she's done. There was nothing to forgive on his end, but... ]

How much further is it to forgiveness?

[torsion]

[ She knows he feels similarly about different issues. That the losses grow and gain over time, that they can feel so insurmountable. Jill wants to breathe more easily, but without changing the past, how much can you really do? ]

I know I have.

[ She knows he won't ever blame her, but that's part of what makes it more difficult. It would be easier if he didn't look at her with that soft gaze of his, understanding her even if he struggles to do so.

It's part of love, she supposes. ]

I wish I knew. Some days it feels like I'm up the hill on a steep decline, nearly there. Others, it feels like it's back on day one and I'm suffocating... Is it like that for you, too, at times?

[sorryethan]

[ It's an unspoken understanding, yet, something neither of them truly did. It begged for answers and verbal confirmation always teetering towards the edge and never quite taking the dive. This time, it was moving forward. Standing still wasn't an option as the waters rose to unsafe levels. Where the ceiling closes in and threatens to drown them.

It's quiet. He's quiet as he looks to the ground for answers. It's something else that's unspoken as his silence is what can be afforded to the situation, the acknowledgment of what happened even if he was the one to bring it up.

The love is insurmountable and infinitely kind as once.

His eyes rise to meet her after she says she wishes she knew; With the infinite kindness and softness that's reserved only for her. ]

More the later and like I'm closer to fall-- [ He shut his eyes trying to stop the word from coming out. It's enough, but he retracts -- tries to and refocuses. ] --slipping. [ He fidgets in place wishing he could reach for a cigarette. He knows how she feels about him smoking and he's trying to curb it, at least when he's around her. Different if he had been, but he'd never outright do while in her presence if it could be helped. ] I guess I'm seeking the answer to the same question in a sense. It's not the same...

Maybe the better question is "how do you let it go?"

[torsion]

[ You sink or you swim. They've been taking their time for too long and their oxygen is finally almost out. They both had to make a decision now and failing was never an option, not unless they went down together. They had to make it through and carry on, even if they never met the goal of eradicating bioterrorism, they could at least still have one another.

Jill absolutely knows he suffers in his own silence, too. It's something that they've both pushed wayside after previous conversations while they were determined to move on forward.

If only it was as easy as it was to love each other. ]

I understand. [ She helps to prevent further fidgeting and discomfort by taking his hand into hers, slipping one between both of hers. There's great care in her touch, but it's not careful. She holds onto him with the familiarity of decades. ] It feels as if it shouldn't be as difficult as it is, especially with time.

[ She holds his gaze while she considers his question seriously. There isn't an answer to it, but she doesn't want to leave it at "I don't know." ]

I wish I could give you the answer to that question. Are you afraid of holding on too tightly?

[sorryethan]

[ End of the day, the goal was always each other. No matter the cost, the objective always had to have the same ending: The other had to survive. Always. By default, that ensured the other to keep going. It'd be them into nothing and always together. Boom or bust as it ever was.

He doesn't mean to make it about him. He knows she's suffering in her own ways and probably more. There was loss, but he didn't have Wesker on top of it all -- not in the same way by a longshot -- and what she'd gone through in addition. There never seemed a time to fully address that either. Frankly, it never seemed appropriate as his place to ask.

Sacrifice was sometimes easier than moving forward.

Her touch takes him by surprise as much as it's soothing. It's what he craves as he allows his hand to settle between hers. He continues to look to her and allows for her to finish. When she holds his gaze, he still doesn't say anything. He stands in wait, stilled by her actions.

His other hand slips under hers as she asks her next question. It's a nonverbal answer as his eyebrows furrow. She's hit her mark and it aches where it needs to be comforted. Addressing it is the only way to make it right. ]

To time passed. [ There's a pause as he moves closer to her running finers over her knuckles before clasping her hand in his other. ] Too much time has passed. I've never been good at addressing any of it. I don't know how.

[ He pauses giving his next question thought. ]

Is forgiveness and closure one and the same?

[torsion]

[ By this point in their lives, it was crystal clear that they came before anything and everything else. It was something they'd have to be pressed to admit to, but anyone could see with little effort, even at a distance. Nothing mattered more to her than what they shared.

It's about them, but she's content to focus on him. She's had more time with her hang-ups and though she hasn't exactly been the most vocal about it, Jill still has had discussions. Chris had more and more piling high each day. Things he hadn't talked about, too, she's certain. Jill wants to support him as much as he's always supported her.

Jill makes a point of inching closer, however slightly. His response is given by ouch and it's a sort of relief of its own kind, even if there are still unanswered questions between them. ]

You're not wrong. It feels like every time I close my eyes, I open them and I'm so much older than I remember. Sometimes it feels like we have a limited amount of time and we're losing it so fast... [ She doesn't want to get upset about it or what she considers to have been lost. They still had more time left. They were here, together, in this moment. It should be enough. ] I sometimes worry that we might never be able to make up for what we've lost.

[ Or just from their time apart, even at work. She doesn't want to say that, though. Jill doesn't want him to feel worse. Or guilty. ]

It could be. I'm not sure, though. I think some things can't be erased, you just have to learn to live with them. Do you... do you need me to listen to you?