bakerstreet | Angst Meme

Angst Meme

ANGST MEME

Sometimes we all want to play some angst and see just how far our characters will fall.
- Post your characters, name and series in the subject along with any preferences.
- Go to random.org and roll.
- Play!

1. just depressed.
Things are tough, you're feeling worn out, or whatever the case, you're depressed. You need help or someone else thinks you do anyway.

2. abandoned.
You were left behind by everyone you hold dear and now you're forced to see how well they've adjusted, how happy they all are while you're screaming inside.

3. sick.
Cold, flu, or something even worse, all you can do is lay back and let someone take care of you.

4. fight.
You've been fighting nonstop with the other person and it just keep escalating.

5. break up.
You're being broken up with and they won't reconsider... Damn.

6. separated.
For some reason, you've been separated from the other person for a long time.

7. kidnapped.
You've been held captive for how long now? Maybe they've been torturing you even, using your blood to write ransom notes, threatening to cut off fingers to send next, etc. Rescue is on the way though, right?

8. beaten up.
Just because someone didn't like you or maybe they wanted something you had, whatever the case is, you're coming home sporting some nasty wounds and bruises.

9. jealousy.
You just have this undeniable jealousy suddenly and you need to let it out.

10. cheated on.
This goes beyond just suspicion and you have full on proof of what your lover has done. How do you handle it?

11. apathetic.
You're not sad, you're not happy, you just... don't feel much anymore. The sparkle of life has gone right out of you and you're just going through the motions now.

12. addicted.
Drugs, alcohol, whatever your drug of choice is, you can't fight the draw and you can't draw yourself out of the hole, but the other person is going to try.

13. bad romance.
You know this isn't good for either of you, but you can't stop now.

14. fear.
Nightmares, the feeling someone is following you, etc. You can't shake the feeling.

15. insanity.
You're seeing things and hearing them, waking up only to realize you've done things you don't remember or you're in a place you weren't before. You're losing it and you don't know what to do.

16. guilt.
It's eating you up inside and you have to tell someone about it now. You want to be punished and you won't take no for an answer.

17. loss
You've lost something dear to you.

18. wild card.
Combine some options or make your own!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

( Crane's gone could mean a lot of things, especially coming from Jason. Tight with his grip at the side of the cot, he huffs, still coming out of the toxin and things he'd seen and felt, pushing himself up to lean on his elbow. )

Gone how?

( Even as he asks — demands, in a sense, for clarification, he struggles some to get himself up, disoriented in trying to gather his bearings. )

How did we get here?

Gone like I left him bleeding out in a building full of his own toxin so maybe he's fucking dead right now, is that really what you're worried about?

[there's more anger in his tone, but there's fear in his eyes as he watching Bruce, moving back to him to harshly push him back down onto the cot.]

Stay down. You've got a shit ton of drugs in your system. Just calm the fuck down.

[easier said than done, he knows it. because he knows full well what a hit of those drugs does to him too. at least one of the side effects it's being a blank canvas, fully suceptible to coercion, so maybe Bruce will actually listen to him for once.]

I drove us here.

( With the harsh push comes a grunt from the man without his mask, but he complies with the demand and drops back down to the cot. Eyes fall shut, black still smeared across his face from the paint he rubs on always and he tries to push away the things he’d seen, grasping to focus on the here and now and the fact that Jason is, in fact, here with him. )

Where?

( It’s not as tough when he asks, more strained as he swallows thickly and eyes still remain shut. It’s strange for Bruce - for Batman to be like this and yet, it’s simply another reminder that he is, at the end of the day, still just a man. Still human. Still capable of feeling fear and pain.

Again, he swallows, breathing steadying out a little as he lays there and he slowly lets his eyes flutter open, staring up to the ceiling above him. A place he doesn’t recognize. )

Where did you take us?

Nowhere you need to be concerned about.

[it's strange seeing Bruce like this and just the same as he felt earlier... he oddly doesn't like it. maybe it's strange, but despite everything, Jason still has Bruce built up in his head. he's still bigger than life. maybe that's part of the reason why he's so angry.

Jason watches Bruce struggle and he realizes that he could end him here if he really wanted to. leaving him back there with Crane, it wasn't enough. it's not how he would have wanted to see Bruce go. but here and now? he could end Bruce on his own terms. be done with it all. he really could.

instead he moves back, stepping over a few broken floor boards and sits against the wall, trying to steady his own breath, his eyes never leaving Bruce's horizontal body.]

Sleep it off. No one'll find us here.

( It would be more than easy to end him right here and now. Bruce — Batman so disoriented there on the cot, not knowing where he is. If Jason truly wanted to, he could end him. Be rid of the father figure and mentor he's had this past year and more. There's nothing and no one here to stop him. Not even Bruce himself could.

He knows this. Knows Jason could take advantage of the moment and yet, he holds out hope that he won't. That even despite their differences currently, he won't succumb to the temptation to simply feed whatever anger boils within him as a means to bury the hurt and fear he has beneath it.

Despite the disorientation, he looks over to Jason there across the way, eyes glazed and finding it difficult to try and keep them open. )

You saved me. ( He says then, soft. ) Why?

[ Bruce called him weak, but he really has no idea how much strength it's taking for Jason to be here like this. with Bruce, without his drug, without Crane feeding lies and directions into his ear.

it's all that he's done since bringing Jason back from the dead, and somehow through the haze, Jason's fighting against it. even now, with all the anger and fear bubbling under his skin, he wants to be clear of the rest of it. he wants to be clean. too many people have died by his hands now, and that's never how any of this was supposed to go.

maybe Bruce telling him he's weaker than he thought was the catalyst. or maybe it's what should have sent Jason down a deeper spiral of destruction and death. but instead he's here, eyes murky but somehow still focused on Bruce. ]

You deserve worse than this, that's why. Why would you get death when I'd still have to be alive?

Edited 2022-03-21 01:34 (UTC)

( The accusation of Jason being weak was done as a means to try and get through to him — to get through to the boy he took in and saw potential in. That he, himself, had come to care for and look at as a son. To see him fall as hard as he had and become the very sort of person he protected Gotham from... it had been a failure on Bruce's part to let him— to let his son fall as hard as he had and not do anything to stop it.

Seems pressing a finger into that open wound concerning being weak had maybe done something in the end.

Jason's words bring a tired smile to his face, hand resting there against his chest, just below the bat symbol. )

You're right.

( Words soft— strained. )

Losing everyone around me that I care about is a fate worse than death to me.

[ when it comes to Jason, there are a lot of wounds that could be pressed into, but that one's one of the deepest. it's the reason why Jason was convinced Bruce had thrown him away. that he wasn't good enough, that he was too weak, that Dick would always be better than him. the better Robin. it had overtaken everything in the end, even that fact that Bruce had once called Jason his son, his family.

and yet even now, something of it remains, because as much as he says that Bruce deserves worse than death, there was something else that made him drag Bruce away from that wreckage tonight.

he's quiet for a long moment, just glaring at Bruce before he looks down at his hands.]

Is that what you saw? When you got pulled under, is that what you saw?

( In hindsight, they truly are a little too similar in certain ways. Because of that, they end up in situations such as this. Where there is a gentle understanding of how it feels — yet enough of a disconnect there for walls to be built. Heads to be butted. Bruce still sees himself as a solo artist a lot of the time — still struggles with his keeping those he cares for and have been trained under [a version of] him close to him in a way that doesn't stifle or suffocate them from how controlling he knows he can be. He has to be. He has to make sure no one else dies. That he doesn't fail anyone else.

That doesn't negate the fact that he does, in fact, care. He always has. It's just been his fear that, by caring, it would hurt all over again when losing those around him. That, much as when he was a child, there would be nothing he could do — nothing to prevent the deaths of those he calls family and he would be alone in a way that is much worse — much colder and hollow than he has been over the years.

So when Jason goes and asks him if that's what he saw in some manner, he puffs out a sigh, head tipping back some there on the cot, eyes still shut. )

Maybe.

( Ever the one with such vague answers. )

Does it really matter to you?

[it must really be something to have Jason here with him like this then. knowing not only that he's turning into this, but he died before it. that someone like Crane got to him and brought him back to life, pumped him full of drugs and manipulated him.

and yet here Bruce is, asking Jason why it matters to him, when Jason is trying to connect to him in the only language he knows right now. through fear.

if Bruce is going to shut him down, then Jason sure as hell isn't going to make himself any more vulnerable.]

No. It doesn't fucking matter to me. Don't know why I bothered to ask. In fact, I think we're fucking done here.

[he pushes himself up to stand again, grabbing his helmet.]

( These two right here are a disaster when it comes to Being Open about feelings, especially with each other. So many things Bruce should have said to Jason before all of this — ways he should have shown him that he cared... that he's his son. Too little too late now and the things [some version of him] thought to have been to help the other, hadn't. He'd failed there. He knows he has.

When Jason moves to stand, Bruce starts coughing in a way that's more heavy than he'd maybe like it to be. For a moment, it sounds as if he might cough something up — maybe what he had inhaled from Jason, but he curls in on his side on the cot, clutching it tight with gloved fingers as he keeps coughing. Keeps trembling. Keeps doing so with his eyes shut and his breaths heavy in-between them.

Go on, Jason. Leave. It's your chance to. You don't have to see him go out like this, but at least you'll be rid of him permanently. )

[ failed and still failing, Jason would say with his whole heart. what he's feeling right now is proof of that. and maybe it's not fair for Jason to expect more from Bruce in this moment, but fair no longer matters in Jason's eyes. he never got it, why should Bruce get a chance at what's fair or not?

Bruce can't even give him one straight answer. why should Jason give a shit about trying to do the same? why should he stick around and get battered by yet another man who wants to manipulate him?

so he goes to leave and he's nearly there, but then Bruce starts coughing hard, running out of air, and he stops, glancing back over at him. he knows it's not his drug because he's been taking it every damn day- but there's a lot in Bruce's system right now and his drug is not a complete antidote to the concentrated toxin Crane was going to release into Gotham's water supply. maybe it's too strong and is fighting to break through.

all of this runs through his head. all of this, and how weak he is. how weak he is for not being able to leave Bruce here like this.

he turns back around and goes over to him, dropping his helmet back down and yanks him to sit up so he doesn't choke on his side. this place has no electricity, no running water. there's not much Jason can do.]

Mind over matter, Bruce. Isn't that what you always taught me? Slow your fucking breathing down. Try not to fucking die while I go get some supplies from the Batmobile.

Edited 2022-03-22 21:49 (UTC)

( He'd been counting on Jason coming back — on not being able to completely turn his back on him and when he hears the footfalls of the other returning, rather than simply leaving him there, he blinks his eyes open.

It happens in a way that could be considered a blur, maybe. Jason yanking him up, words thrown at him out of annoyance, frustration, possible thinly veiled concern, the coughs that continue to fall from his lips... and then the movement that comes.

From Bruce.

No more coughs. No more trembling. Just swift movement that takes barely more than a couple seconds.

The hand that Jason has on him from yanking him up is grabbed at the wrist and Bruce twists in a way that reverses them — the intention to either throw Jason down to the cot or to the floor beside it. To pin him there beneath him. Keep him steady.

Because all of that coughing? That trembling and the weakened state he'd been in there on the cot? Maybe he'd overdone it a little. Just enough to get Jason to come back so he could grab him like this. )

[ he's ready to stand up and actually help, when Bruce grabs him so suddenly and flips him around. at first Jason doesn't even get what's happening, until all that coughing is gone, and his back hits the floor.

he practically growls when Bruce moves over him to pin him down. ]

What the fuck are you doing!? You gonna kill me?

[he'll fight back any second now, but for the moment he's stunned at this turn of events.]

( Should you really be so stunned that Bruce would lie that he was in danger as a means to get you to stay, Jason? It's a half-truth, really. Yes, he had, in fact, been doused with that toxin of Crane's and yes, he had seen and experienced things back at the scene and in the Batmobile that had resulted in him feeling deep moments of fear... but no, he hadn't had any sort of trouble breathing and no, he hadn't been slipping into a state of unconsciousness. It was needed to see if Jason would stick around. If some part of him, no matter how small, still cared in some way about what happened to him. So he could get him when he couldn't back there with Crane. )

I'm not going to kill you.

( Voice rough, he holds Jason there. Tight. Refusing to let him go. )

I'm going to tell you how proud I am of you. For being as strong as you've been.

[ Jason would prefer it if Bruce just killed him.

because this is worse. laying here pushing against Bruce while he looks down at him, refusing to let up. should he have expected this? maybe. but he didn't. what he expects even less is Bruce telling him he's proud of him. that he's been strong. Jason bucks up against Bruce, anger flaring up in his eyes. anger and pain, betrayal. ]

Bullshit! You think I'm weak. You've always thought I was weak. What do you think your fucking lies are gonna get you now, huh?

( When Jason bucks up, Bruce pushes him back down. Hard. It's difficult to keep his own frustration at bay. Frustration not entirely aimed towards Jason, but more at himself. For letting it get this far with Jason. For not seeing the signs earlier. For failing his son so badly like this. )

You're not. You're just lost. But even then, you aren't. Not completely. You have a family, Jason.

( Arm braced across Jason's chest, his other holds at that wrist he'd grabbed when he'd flipped them. Eyes piercing the other's with their intensity through that smeared makeup, before they come to soften some. Or at least, as much as Bruce can let them right now. )

You didn't need to be any of this to prove yourself to me, Jason. Just being my son was enough. It was always enough.

Who do you think made me this way!

[Jason yells, his voice tinged with all the emotion those drugs he's been using had taken away. he feels himself choking on them now and desperately wishes he would have taken them today. but he didn't. he hasn't, nit since he sent Bruce the message, and he realizes maybe he wanted it this way. he gets pushed back hard and this time he stays. ]

I know how you are! It never would've been enough. Look at you, you're Batman. I was supposed to be Robin. Always. Always by your side! And all you ever fucking did was try to take that away from me!

[ the truth of it is, only half of it was about proving himself to Bruce. the other half was all that fear he carried inside of him. fear of losing Robin, fear of losing Bruce, fear of losing himself. everything that had happened back in San Fransisco with the Titans coming to a head. what felt like Bruce's betrayal had been the thing to push him over the edge so completely, but there was so much more to it than that. ]

It's enough! You're enough!

( Fist balled there against Jason's chest, he brings it up and slams it down next to the other's head. There's frustration there burning in his eyes — the very same that Jason himself feels and holds so tightly within him and it takes Bruce a second before he pulls himself off Jason and stalks away.

He stands there, back to the other, eyes closed as he tries to just... center himself. To not let whatever remains of the toxin within his system to touch his mind in ways that will make this worse.

Jaw tight, he sighs — heavy, head tipping back as if asking some higher force to give him whatever strength he needs for this. For Jason. )

It's my fault for not making you see or believe that. I should have. I should have... told you that I care more. At all.

( Swallowing, he turns slightly, just enough for Jason to see the shadows across his face. )

Can you forgive me?

[ Jason flinches when Bruce's fist slams down next to his head, and he hates it, but everything feels sensitive right now. it's too much of what he's been depriving himself of these last couple of months and he wonders if it's worth it. no... of all of what he did was all worth it.

he's breathing heavily by the time Bruce moves off of him, and he pushes himself up onto his elbows to watch the older man, those words hanging heavily in the air between them.]

How can anything be forgiven when nothing's ever going to be the same again?

[not just with Bruce, he means, but with himself as well. he's killed people, he killed a Titan. his friend. he killed innocents under the influence of that drug and Crane. is there even a way to come back from that?]

( He's right. Time can't be reversed ~~neither know a flash kid at the moment~~ and things can't be undone by either of them. All his mistakes have led to Jason being where he currently is now — to the things he's done and there's no going back. There's no bringing back lives lost.

But whatever they've had between them... that, too, has changed. Become broken in a way that, for some time, has seemed beyond repair and yet, Bruce has held onto that bit of hope that it can be, in some way. Maybe not to be as it once was — it's a little foolish to think it could be. But it's not entirely lost... is it? Bruce doesn't believe so — believes that Jason can still come back from this. Even if it's not to come back with him.

His expression softens within the shadows against his face and he lets his gaze drop as he mulls over Jason's words. Over his concern. )

We just keep going.

( He says after a moment, looking up to him. )

We have to. Life goes on. It's just a matter of what life you want, Jason.

[ maybe that's been a part of Jason's fear too. he fell into this so head first and angry, in so much pain both before and after coming back from the dead. it was far too late when he started to wonder if he had made a mistake- and then, if he could ever come back from this.

his whole life he's put up armor against it. fuck it up, get angry at it, that way you already know what's coming. you can control the disappointment. it was different with Bruce, though. he was trying so hard to get to stay.

We just keep going, Bruce says, as if it's that easy. nothing ever is.]

You saw what I did back there, didn't you?

[he doesn't know what kind of life he wants anymore, but maybe blowing up the canisters back there and shooting Crane was the start of something different. he pushes himself back up to stand, putting a hand out against the wall to steady himself. he's not feeling so great either. it's a bitch not to have addictive drugs in your system. ]

I did.

( He says it without hesitation — so matter of fact, yet his expression remains soft within the shadows across his face, gaze having lifted to meet Jason's, if he will.

The truth of the matter is, he knows Jason has a long road ahead of him from here. That whatever he decides, it needs to be what's best for him. If that's with time away from him — from Dick and the others, then fine. Just as long as hest not with Crane or anyone else who would seek to twist his thoughts and emotions and turn him against even his own thoughts. If Jason needs help, however that may be, he's willing to give it to him. )

We all cross lines sometimes. But you need to forgive yourself. Maybe not right now. But some day.

( Just as he needs to do the same with a few of his own things. )

Let me help you. ( He says then, yet remains where he is. ) Even if it's just for tonight. Then you don't have to see me again if you don't want to. It'll be your choice and I know it will be.

[ he doesn't want to talk about forgiveness. it's too soon and he's not there yet. he's not sure where he is at all. ]

You of all people shouldn't be saying that to me.

[he snaps, because he's angry about it. it's too soon. here he was, dragging Bruce out of that place, trying to save him, and now it feels like the tables are turned again. how does Bruce always do this to him?]

Help me do what, Bruce? How the fuck are you gonna help me? You gonna go back and finish the job? Kill Crane? You gonna figure out how to fucking fix me without the drugs? What?

( Maybe it is too soon. For the both of them. Still... it needs to be said — Jason needs to know it's an option there on the table eventually.

Jason's anger is met with a long silence from the man there carrying his own guilt on his shoulders and it's only after a moment that he comes to lift his gaze up from the floor and looks to the other there so angry and shattered — his son. )

Give you a place to stay for the night.

( He offers. )

I don't have to be there. Not if you don't want me to. But you can get some rest. Just for the night.

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smh at work

what time zone are you in? i went to bed so early last night haha

est. sometimes i have those early morning shifts and sometimes late night ones

Ah gotcha! I'm est too but always work at the same time

mon and sat are my days off usually but my times otherwise shift so. closes eyes

haha idk if batman has supplies in the batmobile but we're gonna go with it xD

sorry for this, jason. just bruce things

this is why your son hates™ you.

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