Angst Meme

[crushtheskulls]

ANGST MEME



Sometimes we all want to play some angst and see just how far our characters will fall.
- Post your characters, name and series in the subject along with any preferences.
- Go to random.org and roll.
- Play!



1. just depressed.
Things are tough, you're feeling worn out, or whatever the case, you're depressed. You need help or someone else thinks you do anyway.

2. abandoned.
You were left behind by everyone you hold dear and now you're forced to see how well they've adjusted, how happy they all are while you're screaming inside.

3. sick.
Cold, flu, or something even worse, all you can do is lay back and let someone take care of you.

4. fight.
You've been fighting nonstop with the other person and it just keep escalating.

5. break up.
You're being broken up with and they won't reconsider... Damn.

6. separated.
For some reason, you've been separated from the other person for a long time.

7. kidnapped.
You've been held captive for how long now? Maybe they've been torturing you even, using your blood to write ransom notes, threatening to cut off fingers to send next, etc. Rescue is on the way though, right?

8. beaten up.
Just because someone didn't like you or maybe they wanted something you had, whatever the case is, you're coming home sporting some nasty wounds and bruises.

9. jealousy.
You just have this undeniable jealousy suddenly and you need to let it out.

10. cheated on.
This goes beyond just suspicion and you have full on proof of what your lover has done. How do you handle it?

11. apathetic.
You're not sad, you're not happy, you just... don't feel much anymore. The sparkle of life has gone right out of you and you're just going through the motions now.

12. addicted.
Drugs, alcohol, whatever your drug of choice is, you can't fight the draw and you can't draw yourself out of the hole, but the other person is going to try.

13. bad romance.
You know this isn't good for either of you, but you can't stop now.

14. fear.
Nightmares, the feeling someone is following you, etc. You can't shake the feeling.

15. insanity.
You're seeing things and hearing them, waking up only to realize you've done things you don't remember or you're in a place you weren't before. You're losing it and you don't know what to do.

16. guilt.
It's eating you up inside and you have to tell someone about it now. You want to be punished and you won't take no for an answer.

17. loss
You've lost something dear to you.

18. wild card.
Combine some options or make your own!

Comments

[nomorefear]

[ Jason flinches when Bruce's fist slams down next to his head, and he hates it, but everything feels sensitive right now. it's too much of what he's been depriving himself of these last couple of months and he wonders if it's worth it. no... of all of what he did was all worth it.

he's breathing heavily by the time Bruce moves off of him, and he pushes himself up onto his elbows to watch the older man, those words hanging heavily in the air between them.]

How can anything be forgiven when nothing's ever going to be the same again?

[not just with Bruce, he means, but with himself as well. he's killed people, he killed a Titan. his friend. he killed innocents under the influence of that drug and Crane. is there even a way to come back from that?]

[batsymbol]

( He's right. Time can't be reversed neither know a flash kid at the moment and things can't be undone by either of them. All his mistakes have led to Jason being where he currently is now — to the things he's done and there's no going back. There's no bringing back lives lost.

But whatever they've had between them... that, too, has changed. Become broken in a way that, for some time, has seemed beyond repair and yet, Bruce has held onto that bit of hope that it can be, in some way. Maybe not to be as it once was — it's a little foolish to think it could be. But it's not entirely lost... is it? Bruce doesn't believe so — believes that Jason can still come back from this. Even if it's not to come back with him.

His expression softens within the shadows against his face and he lets his gaze drop as he mulls over Jason's words. Over his concern. )

We just keep going.

( He says after a moment, looking up to him. )

We have to. Life goes on. It's just a matter of what life you want, Jason.

[nomorefear]

[ maybe that's been a part of Jason's fear too. he fell into this so head first and angry, in so much pain both before and after coming back from the dead. it was far too late when he started to wonder if he had made a mistake- and then, if he could ever come back from this.

his whole life he's put up armor against it. fuck it up, get angry at it, that way you already know what's coming. you can control the disappointment. it was different with Bruce, though. he was trying so hard to get to stay.

We just keep going, Bruce says, as if it's that easy. nothing ever is.]

You saw what I did back there, didn't you?

[he doesn't know what kind of life he wants anymore, but maybe blowing up the canisters back there and shooting Crane was the start of something different. he pushes himself back up to stand, putting a hand out against the wall to steady himself. he's not feeling so great either. it's a bitch not to have addictive drugs in your system. ]

[batsymbol]

I did.

( He says it without hesitation — so matter of fact, yet his expression remains soft within the shadows across his face, gaze having lifted to meet Jason's, if he will.

The truth of the matter is, he knows Jason has a long road ahead of him from here. That whatever he decides, it needs to be what's best for him. If that's with time away from him — from Dick and the others, then fine. Just as long as hest not with Crane or anyone else who would seek to twist his thoughts and emotions and turn him against even his own thoughts. If Jason needs help, however that may be, he's willing to give it to him. )

We all cross lines sometimes. But you need to forgive yourself. Maybe not right now. But some day.

( Just as he needs to do the same with a few of his own things. )

Let me help you. ( He says then, yet remains where he is. ) Even if it's just for tonight. Then you don't have to see me again if you don't want to. It'll be your choice and I know it will be.

[nomorefear]

[ he doesn't want to talk about forgiveness. it's too soon and he's not there yet. he's not sure where he is at all. ]

You of all people shouldn't be saying that to me.

[he snaps, because he's angry about it. it's too soon. here he was, dragging Bruce out of that place, trying to save him, and now it feels like the tables are turned again. how does Bruce always do this to him?]

Help me do what, Bruce? How the fuck are you gonna help me? You gonna go back and finish the job? Kill Crane? You gonna figure out how to fucking fix me without the drugs? What?

[batsymbol]

( Maybe it is too soon. For the both of them. Still... it needs to be said — Jason needs to know it's an option there on the table eventually.

Jason's anger is met with a long silence from the man there carrying his own guilt on his shoulders and it's only after a moment that he comes to lift his gaze up from the floor and looks to the other there so angry and shattered — his son. )

Give you a place to stay for the night.

( He offers. )

I don't have to be there. Not if you don't want me to. But you can get some rest. Just for the night.

[nomorefear]

[ he doesn't even consider it to be an option, whether it's said out loud or not. he's baffled as to why Bruce thinks it is one. then again, if Jason really thinks about it- all this time, Bruce has been asking him to come home.

it just hasn't really clicked properly till now. till Bruce asks him again in a more round about way.

Jason fucking hates this, but he glances around the place they're standing in. run down, abandoned old building where the ceiling is falling and the floor boards have rotted away, and there's a cot against the wall, and that's about it. it's the only place he has right now. he's lived in far worse places, he's lived on the street... but he wants to go home. ]

This doesn't mean anything. It just means I need a place to stay for the night.

[batsymbol]

( It's hard for Bruce to know when to shove harder and when to just stop. He's messed this up, though. He's let Jason down and hasn't been there for him in the ways he should have been — in the ways a father should have been for a son. If this is all he can offer him — all Jason is willing to take, then at least it's something. If even just for tonight. )

I know.

( The words are soft and are an understanding to what it is Jason means. Because this shouldn't be about what he wants, but what Jason does.

Another glance around the rundown place they've found themselves in, he looks back to Jason, steps heavy then as he starts to move — slow. Just to be sure since he's not entirely out of the woods yet with that toxin.

He doesn't say anything as he goes. Just expects Jason to follow. Hopes for him to follow. )

[nomorefear]

[ Jason shouldn't be going along with this. he knows he should just tell Bruce to fuck off and go his own way. he can regroup and get more drugs and figure this out on his fucking own like he should have a long time ago.

but he still feels so fucked up, so lost. he turned on Crane tonight and that got him this instead. it got him Bruce, and Jason's too tired to say no. somehow, despite all he's done, Bruce still wants him to come home.

he grabs his bag from the corner of the room, along with his helmet and he follows, catches up to Bruce and then past him. ]

I parked the Batmobile around back, this way.

[batsymbol]

( There isn't much to do but follow along after Jason. After all, he'd been the one to get them here, Bruce having been so out of it that he ended up passing out in the Batmobile. Seems like a first, really. Lucky for him that Jason was the one behind the wheel. Who knows where he'd be now if he'd been the one driving alone, making his getaway from Crane and everything back there. )

I'll drive.

( He mutters, soft. Feeling capable of doing such a thing now, what with his being a little more alert than he had been before passing out. The gas Jason gave him helped, yes. Not a full blown cure exactly, but. Enough to get the bulk of it out of his system — to give his mind a fighting chance again.

So he goes. With Jason. To the Batmobile. Feeling like old times just... not. )

[nomorefear]

[ Bruce is lucky that Jason had a change of heart. he could have easily killed him if he really wanted to. good thing it wasn't so easy.

Jason side eyes Bruce when he says he'll drive, because he's not sure how that's gonna go, but who's gonna drive the Batmobile isn't an argument he wants to have right now either, so he just gives a grunt and goes around to the passengers side once they get to the car. ]

You're welcome by the way, for getting your ass outta there and driving you here.

[batsymbol]

( It's just as well, since he's not in the mood either.

He's careful in the way he gets into the drivers side, taking a moment to make sure he's got it — he does, he just needs a second and in that second, he listens to Jason's words and he knows he's right. He hasn't thanked him for what he did. For what he didn't have to do. For what he didn't do.

Lips pressed together, he stares ahead for a long moment and then the Batmobile comes to life, engine roaring with the same sort of anger that the two of them must be feeling for different reasons. )

Thank you.

( That's really all he's going to say on the drive back to Wayne Manor. )

[nomorefear]

[ he side eyes Bruce's thank you, but he doesn't say anything more than that either.

there's a comfort that Jason takes when the Batmobile roars to life. it's always been there, since the very first time he rode in it. maybe it's because this is where it all started for him. it's so very different this time than the last time they rode together... well, the time before last, when he was still Robin, while Bruce would drive quietly and Jason would be throwing out whatever quips or smart ass remarks out at him.

this time it's silent. nothing will ever be like that again.

the closer they get to the manor- to the Batcave, the more agitated Jason gets. he wonders if this was a mistake. he already left this place and died because Bruce didn't want him anymore and now he's willingly going back.]

I'm keeping everything I've got on me. That includes my drugs and my guns.

sorry i'm here again work just was tiring the past couple days smh

[batsymbol]

( Maybe this is a mistake. For both of them. But they're here now, no turning back — not yet at least.

He's quiet on the familiar path to enter the cave, only a fleeting glance given out of the corner of his eye when Jason goes and makes sure he knows about what he's keeping with him.

He doesn't say anything. Just parks the car and kills the engine, letting the doors open.

The heavy thud of boots hitting the ground can be heard right before the chittering of bats high above drown out any sound for a couple of seconds. As if welcoming their master home — maybe they're really the only friends he's got outside of Alfred. There's a thought.

Mask removed, he holds it still in his hand and his steps are slow in how he goes, making his way to the setup of screens and controls, dropping down to a chair, faint sounds of discomfort coming from him as he does. That's Bruce for you, a man of so few words, even when in pain. )

Take whatever room you want. ( He says, not looking to Jason as he slowly turns in the chair, mask dropped to the desk. ) You know your way around here.

it's all good <3 i figured!

[nomorefear]

[ there's this heavy wave of nostalgia that washes over Jason when they enter the Batcave. it's a wave of nostalgia mixed with nausea really. being back here is something else, and yet again, Jason wonders what the hell he's doing here.

when he gets out out of the car, he just stands there for a moment, taking it all in again. maybe the bats are welcoming him home as well. when he was younger, Jason used to talk to them.

he carries his things with him as he heads deeper into the cave, fingers just barely ghosting over everything as if they're trying to regain their memories. he used to love it here once. he remembers jumping around this place, arms stretched out over his head with glee. there was a time when he let himself believe he would always be here. he remembers. ]

You're just gonna let me walk around here? You're not worried that I'll...

[he goes to turn towards the consoles, then freezes as he sees the glass case. his Robin uniform is in there, blood still smeared on the golden R.]

[batsymbol]

( He's in the process of removing pieces of his suit — the easy things first and that can be done while sitting down. It's not too difficult to move about. His head still feels heavy from both the toxin and the "cure" that Jason had pumped into him. Sleeping it off will probably help.

Jason's words trail off then and he glances over his shoulder. His suit. Yeah. That's a whole thing there. A whole thing Alfred had to deal with as well.

Gloves are placed next to his mask, Bruce looking down to his belt which he slowly starts to remove a few things from. Mostly to give him something to do. A reason so as not to have to look over at that suit either. Funny, since he's the one who put it there in the first place. )

This is still your home.

( He says, head ducked some, still removing pieces. )

It always will be.

[nomorefear]

[ Jason just stands there, staring at the case for a good long while before he rips his gaze away, eyebrows furrowed as he looks towards Bruce again.

Bruce is still right where he's always been. in that chair, alone, detached. not looking. not feeling. maybe that was always Jason's problem. too much feeling.

and yet there are things that counter that idea. like the way Jason could still access the Batmobile, and how Bruce still has his suit here in the cave, and how even after all of this, when Bruce came to him tonight, all he had really asked of him was to come home. ]

I'm gonna stay in my old room. Are my clothes still there?

[batsymbol]

( Maybe it says something about him and the way he'd been unable to remove every single thing that reminded him of Jason from the place. How, even in his death, he couldn't touch it — didn't want to touch it. He'd only just barely been able to step into that room since everything happened, so it's untouched. Left as it had been the last time Jason had been in it. Entirely him and no one else.

He reclines in the chair, head tipped back, eyes shut. Just for a moment. Long enough for him to take a breath for himself before he leans forward again and starts the slow removal of pieces and things off him. )

Yeah.

( Everything is. )

[nomorefear]

[ he doesn't know why he asks. he doesn't like that my old room just comes to him so easily too. as if any of this is easy. this is a fucking mess. a mistake. and yet, everything else Jason has done has felt like a mistake too. everything he's ever felt like has been that. a mistake.

what's one more?

and along with the Batcave, with his room, with everything else that feels sickeningly nostalgic, Bruce's vacant distance feels the same too. how many times had he asked Jason to come home? now that he's here, he feels just as alone. alone, with a glass case of his failure imprinted into his mind now and his fingers itching for his drugs again. ]

Okay, well. Try not to choke on your own vomit I guess.

[goodnight? see you later? see you tomorrow? he doesn't know. he never knows. so he just turns and goes, heading up and out of the Batcave, ready to take on this towering mansion he used to call home, all alone again. ]

[batsymbol]

( He listens as Jason moves about — as he tosses him that remark about not choking on his vomit and waits until he's sure he's left the Batcave for he lets go of a sigh he hadn't even realized he'd been holding in. This seems counterproductive of them. To ask the other to come back with him — to come home, if even for the night, and then go about it as if nothing's changed. As if any of this is How It Used To Be. It's no longer the case. Even if some part of him wishes it was.

He just... needs a moment. Or two, apparently. One that stretches for a few hours into the night.

It's late when he makes his way down to the kitchen. Barely able to sleep, but forcing himself to when he can. The tossing and turning doesn't help, nor the fleeting, distorted images of whatever's leftover from the toxin there in his system. It makes for sleeping to be a trying time and it's why he heads down to the kitchen in the dark.

Whiskey is what he chooses to nurse his troubled sleep with. Leaning there against the counter, shirt hung open, slowly chewing on an ice cube. Thinking. Wondering just what the hell he's supposed to do now. He's supposed to know — supposed to be ahead of the curve. But he's not. When it comes to this? To Jason? He's not.

He's staring down to his glass there in his hand, single ice cube sliding to the other side of the glass as he tilts it when he looks up, catches sight of Jason wandering in, and he stares to him in silence for a long moment before letting his gaze drop.

He's bruised a little — scar here and there. Nothing new for either of them when it comes to this line of "work" of theirs. If it can even be called that; works implies you get paid.

After a moment, he lifts his glass to his lips and, before he takes a swig, he mutters. )

Can't sleep?

[nomorefear]

[ Jason doesn't go straight upstairs once he leaves the cave. he takes a detour through the main sitting room, the halls where he'd ride his bike with chaos and joy, through the empty places he never thought he'd step foot in again. being back here is a strange and painful thing.

when he left this place, it was so abrupt. no one ever plans on dying, though. not many get to come back either, and Jason's still on the fence about that one. he had been on the edge of a roof once, ready to jump. maybe he should have stayed dead. then all those people would still be alive.

it's strange, walking through this place now. without Alfred here it seems darker, quieter, like a giant mausoleum. maybe after his death, after Alfred's, that's exactly what Bruce turned it into. and yet it still feels like home. the only one Jason's ever really had. even after all this, it makes him feel eager to be in his old room again. sleeping in his old bed, so that's finally where he goes.

except sleep doesn't come easy- it never does, but tonight feels the hardest. he can't stop thinking about Bruce, about what this is, about what this is going to turn into. when it becomes too frustrating to just lay here, he moves quietly through the manor, down to the kitchen. he remembers those times there would be a midnight snack waiting for him, instead now there's Bruce.

there's a fleeting moment where Jason thinks it might be better if he'd just turn and leave, but he's tired. he's tired of fighting and running, and letting his anger burn him up from the inside. he just wants a moment in his home to stand still and rest. ]

Can't sleep.

[he's cautious as he approaches, eyes steady on Bruce, hairs raised along his skin. very much like a feral cat testing for signs of danger. when he gets close enough, he leans against the counter, nodding his head towards the glass.]

Got another one of those?

[batsymbol]

( He's careful in the way he just barely watches Jason. Always aware of where he is on proximity to him, yet never really letting himself look up for too long.

Having him here like this — having someone else here in this place after however long it's been... it's good, isn't it? Or it should be, if things weren't as they were.

Quiet, the ice cube in his mouth crunches as he bites down on it and he sighs as he sets his glass down, hands reaching back to grip the counter behind him. )

Sure that's a good idea?

( Yet even as he asks, he reaches back around him and sets the bottle across from him on the counter. Glass to follow once he's pulled it down from the cupboard.

It's not exactly a no. )

[nomorefear]

[ Bruce is skittish too. it's strange. different. maybe it's just that Bruce can't stand looking at him anymore. seemed that way in the cave earlier, and now here. the only time Bruce really looked at him was back in that rundown place, with drugs burning through his system.

Jason can't take his eyes off of him. ]

It's a shitty idea. That why you're doing it?

[he counters, snagging the bottle off the counter and pouring himself a glass when Bruce sets it down. they've never had a drink together. Jason was always too young. he isn't that kid anymore.]

shh, i'm here

[batsymbol]

( They're their own worst enemies — they're own worst critics, aren't they? So alike at this age —this point in time for the both of them and yet, still different enough to not be a carbon copy of one another. Just enough similarities in certain ways to butt heads. To know how to press a finger deep into a wound and make it bleed even more. Just enough. In some ways, it might be a blessing to have someone who can maybe understand some part of you and yet, it's also a curse. As evidenced by everything that's happened.

Jason may not be able to take his eyes off him, but Bruce can't seem to bring himself to want to look to him.

But he does.

After a long moment, he looks over to him — watches the way he pours a glass for himself and he realizes how much has changed since they'd first come into each other's lives. No, Jason isn't that kid anymore and he's not sure how he feels about that. )

No.

( The word, soft. )

But maybe we both could use one.

hi hiii <3

[nomorefear]

[ Jason hasn't yet gotten to the point where he realizes just how similar they are. that, or he doesn't want to realize it because it's painful. when he was younger it would have meant the world to him in so many ways. now? now there's a lot of anger and hatred in Jason's heart.

of course it's when Jason looks away that Bruce looks at him. he pours himself a decent amount, because he needs it and because he can. ]

Yeah, no shit.

[it's lacking its usual bite. it's tired, just like the two of them are. when Jason looks at Bruce again, the older man is finally looking at him, and Jason holds his gaze.]

You hate that I'm here, don't you.