bakerstreet | Angst Meme

Angst Meme

ANGST MEME

Sometimes we all want to play some angst and see just how far our characters will fall.
- Post your characters, name and series in the subject along with any preferences.
- Go to random.org and roll.
- Play!

1. just depressed.
Things are tough, you're feeling worn out, or whatever the case, you're depressed. You need help or someone else thinks you do anyway.

2. abandoned.
You were left behind by everyone you hold dear and now you're forced to see how well they've adjusted, how happy they all are while you're screaming inside.

3. sick.
Cold, flu, or something even worse, all you can do is lay back and let someone take care of you.

4. fight.
You've been fighting nonstop with the other person and it just keep escalating.

5. break up.
You're being broken up with and they won't reconsider... Damn.

6. separated.
For some reason, you've been separated from the other person for a long time.

7. kidnapped.
You've been held captive for how long now? Maybe they've been torturing you even, using your blood to write ransom notes, threatening to cut off fingers to send next, etc. Rescue is on the way though, right?

8. beaten up.
Just because someone didn't like you or maybe they wanted something you had, whatever the case is, you're coming home sporting some nasty wounds and bruises.

9. jealousy.
You just have this undeniable jealousy suddenly and you need to let it out.

10. cheated on.
This goes beyond just suspicion and you have full on proof of what your lover has done. How do you handle it?

11. apathetic.
You're not sad, you're not happy, you just... don't feel much anymore. The sparkle of life has gone right out of you and you're just going through the motions now.

12. addicted.
Drugs, alcohol, whatever your drug of choice is, you can't fight the draw and you can't draw yourself out of the hole, but the other person is going to try.

13. bad romance.
You know this isn't good for either of you, but you can't stop now.

14. fear.
Nightmares, the feeling someone is following you, etc. You can't shake the feeling.

15. insanity.
You're seeing things and hearing them, waking up only to realize you've done things you don't remember or you're in a place you weren't before. You're losing it and you don't know what to do.

16. guilt.
It's eating you up inside and you have to tell someone about it now. You want to be punished and you won't take no for an answer.

17. loss
You've lost something dear to you.

18. wild card.
Combine some options or make your own!

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[ failed and still failing, Jason would say with his whole heart. what he's feeling right now is proof of that. and maybe it's not fair for Jason to expect more from Bruce in this moment, but fair no longer matters in Jason's eyes. he never got it, why should Bruce get a chance at what's fair or not?

Bruce can't even give him one straight answer. why should Jason give a shit about trying to do the same? why should he stick around and get battered by yet another man who wants to manipulate him?

so he goes to leave and he's nearly there, but then Bruce starts coughing hard, running out of air, and he stops, glancing back over at him. he knows it's not his drug because he's been taking it every damn day- but there's a lot in Bruce's system right now and his drug is not a complete antidote to the concentrated toxin Crane was going to release into Gotham's water supply. maybe it's too strong and is fighting to break through.

all of this runs through his head. all of this, and how weak he is. how weak he is for not being able to leave Bruce here like this.

he turns back around and goes over to him, dropping his helmet back down and yanks him to sit up so he doesn't choke on his side. this place has no electricity, no running water. there's not much Jason can do.]

Mind over matter, Bruce. Isn't that what you always taught me? Slow your fucking breathing down. Try not to fucking die while I go get some supplies from the Batmobile.

Edited 2022-03-22 21:49 (UTC)

( He'd been counting on Jason coming back — on not being able to completely turn his back on him and when he hears the footfalls of the other returning, rather than simply leaving him there, he blinks his eyes open.

It happens in a way that could be considered a blur, maybe. Jason yanking him up, words thrown at him out of annoyance, frustration, possible thinly veiled concern, the coughs that continue to fall from his lips... and then the movement that comes.

From Bruce.

No more coughs. No more trembling. Just swift movement that takes barely more than a couple seconds.

The hand that Jason has on him from yanking him up is grabbed at the wrist and Bruce twists in a way that reverses them — the intention to either throw Jason down to the cot or to the floor beside it. To pin him there beneath him. Keep him steady.

Because all of that coughing? That trembling and the weakened state he'd been in there on the cot? Maybe he'd overdone it a little. Just enough to get Jason to come back so he could grab him like this. )

[ he's ready to stand up and actually help, when Bruce grabs him so suddenly and flips him around. at first Jason doesn't even get what's happening, until all that coughing is gone, and his back hits the floor.

he practically growls when Bruce moves over him to pin him down. ]

What the fuck are you doing!? You gonna kill me?

[he'll fight back any second now, but for the moment he's stunned at this turn of events.]

( Should you really be so stunned that Bruce would lie that he was in danger as a means to get you to stay, Jason? It's a half-truth, really. Yes, he had, in fact, been doused with that toxin of Crane's and yes, he had seen and experienced things back at the scene and in the Batmobile that had resulted in him feeling deep moments of fear... but no, he hadn't had any sort of trouble breathing and no, he hadn't been slipping into a state of unconsciousness. It was needed to see if Jason would stick around. If some part of him, no matter how small, still cared in some way about what happened to him. So he could get him when he couldn't back there with Crane. )

I'm not going to kill you.

( Voice rough, he holds Jason there. Tight. Refusing to let him go. )

I'm going to tell you how proud I am of you. For being as strong as you've been.

[ Jason would prefer it if Bruce just killed him.

because this is worse. laying here pushing against Bruce while he looks down at him, refusing to let up. should he have expected this? maybe. but he didn't. what he expects even less is Bruce telling him he's proud of him. that he's been strong. Jason bucks up against Bruce, anger flaring up in his eyes. anger and pain, betrayal. ]

Bullshit! You think I'm weak. You've always thought I was weak. What do you think your fucking lies are gonna get you now, huh?

( When Jason bucks up, Bruce pushes him back down. Hard. It's difficult to keep his own frustration at bay. Frustration not entirely aimed towards Jason, but more at himself. For letting it get this far with Jason. For not seeing the signs earlier. For failing his son so badly like this. )

You're not. You're just lost. But even then, you aren't. Not completely. You have a family, Jason.

( Arm braced across Jason's chest, his other holds at that wrist he'd grabbed when he'd flipped them. Eyes piercing the other's with their intensity through that smeared makeup, before they come to soften some. Or at least, as much as Bruce can let them right now. )

You didn't need to be any of this to prove yourself to me, Jason. Just being my son was enough. It was always enough.

Who do you think made me this way!

[Jason yells, his voice tinged with all the emotion those drugs he's been using had taken away. he feels himself choking on them now and desperately wishes he would have taken them today. but he didn't. he hasn't, nit since he sent Bruce the message, and he realizes maybe he wanted it this way. he gets pushed back hard and this time he stays. ]

I know how you are! It never would've been enough. Look at you, you're Batman. I was supposed to be Robin. Always. Always by your side! And all you ever fucking did was try to take that away from me!

[ the truth of it is, only half of it was about proving himself to Bruce. the other half was all that fear he carried inside of him. fear of losing Robin, fear of losing Bruce, fear of losing himself. everything that had happened back in San Fransisco with the Titans coming to a head. what felt like Bruce's betrayal had been the thing to push him over the edge so completely, but there was so much more to it than that. ]

It's enough! You're enough!

( Fist balled there against Jason's chest, he brings it up and slams it down next to the other's head. There's frustration there burning in his eyes — the very same that Jason himself feels and holds so tightly within him and it takes Bruce a second before he pulls himself off Jason and stalks away.

He stands there, back to the other, eyes closed as he tries to just... center himself. To not let whatever remains of the toxin within his system to touch his mind in ways that will make this worse.

Jaw tight, he sighs — heavy, head tipping back as if asking some higher force to give him whatever strength he needs for this. For Jason. )

It's my fault for not making you see or believe that. I should have. I should have... told you that I care more. At all.

( Swallowing, he turns slightly, just enough for Jason to see the shadows across his face. )

Can you forgive me?

[ Jason flinches when Bruce's fist slams down next to his head, and he hates it, but everything feels sensitive right now. it's too much of what he's been depriving himself of these last couple of months and he wonders if it's worth it. no... of all of what he did was all worth it.

he's breathing heavily by the time Bruce moves off of him, and he pushes himself up onto his elbows to watch the older man, those words hanging heavily in the air between them.]

How can anything be forgiven when nothing's ever going to be the same again?

[not just with Bruce, he means, but with himself as well. he's killed people, he killed a Titan. his friend. he killed innocents under the influence of that drug and Crane. is there even a way to come back from that?]

( He's right. Time can't be reversed ~~neither know a flash kid at the moment~~ and things can't be undone by either of them. All his mistakes have led to Jason being where he currently is now — to the things he's done and there's no going back. There's no bringing back lives lost.

But whatever they've had between them... that, too, has changed. Become broken in a way that, for some time, has seemed beyond repair and yet, Bruce has held onto that bit of hope that it can be, in some way. Maybe not to be as it once was — it's a little foolish to think it could be. But it's not entirely lost... is it? Bruce doesn't believe so — believes that Jason can still come back from this. Even if it's not to come back with him.

His expression softens within the shadows against his face and he lets his gaze drop as he mulls over Jason's words. Over his concern. )

We just keep going.

( He says after a moment, looking up to him. )

We have to. Life goes on. It's just a matter of what life you want, Jason.

[ maybe that's been a part of Jason's fear too. he fell into this so head first and angry, in so much pain both before and after coming back from the dead. it was far too late when he started to wonder if he had made a mistake- and then, if he could ever come back from this.

his whole life he's put up armor against it. fuck it up, get angry at it, that way you already know what's coming. you can control the disappointment. it was different with Bruce, though. he was trying so hard to get to stay.

We just keep going, Bruce says, as if it's that easy. nothing ever is.]

You saw what I did back there, didn't you?

[he doesn't know what kind of life he wants anymore, but maybe blowing up the canisters back there and shooting Crane was the start of something different. he pushes himself back up to stand, putting a hand out against the wall to steady himself. he's not feeling so great either. it's a bitch not to have addictive drugs in your system. ]

I did.

( He says it without hesitation — so matter of fact, yet his expression remains soft within the shadows across his face, gaze having lifted to meet Jason's, if he will.

The truth of the matter is, he knows Jason has a long road ahead of him from here. That whatever he decides, it needs to be what's best for him. If that's with time away from him — from Dick and the others, then fine. Just as long as hest not with Crane or anyone else who would seek to twist his thoughts and emotions and turn him against even his own thoughts. If Jason needs help, however that may be, he's willing to give it to him. )

We all cross lines sometimes. But you need to forgive yourself. Maybe not right now. But some day.

( Just as he needs to do the same with a few of his own things. )

Let me help you. ( He says then, yet remains where he is. ) Even if it's just for tonight. Then you don't have to see me again if you don't want to. It'll be your choice and I know it will be.

[ he doesn't want to talk about forgiveness. it's too soon and he's not there yet. he's not sure where he is at all. ]

You of all people shouldn't be saying that to me.

[he snaps, because he's angry about it. it's too soon. here he was, dragging Bruce out of that place, trying to save him, and now it feels like the tables are turned again. how does Bruce always do this to him?]

Help me do what, Bruce? How the fuck are you gonna help me? You gonna go back and finish the job? Kill Crane? You gonna figure out how to fucking fix me without the drugs? What?

( Maybe it is too soon. For the both of them. Still... it needs to be said — Jason needs to know it's an option there on the table eventually.

Jason's anger is met with a long silence from the man there carrying his own guilt on his shoulders and it's only after a moment that he comes to lift his gaze up from the floor and looks to the other there so angry and shattered — his son. )

Give you a place to stay for the night.

( He offers. )

I don't have to be there. Not if you don't want me to. But you can get some rest. Just for the night.

[ he doesn't even consider it to be an option, whether it's said out loud or not. he's baffled as to why Bruce thinks it is one. then again, if Jason really thinks about it- all this time, Bruce has been asking him to come home.

it just hasn't really clicked properly till now. till Bruce asks him again in a more round about way.

Jason fucking hates this, but he glances around the place they're standing in. run down, abandoned old building where the ceiling is falling and the floor boards have rotted away, and there's a cot against the wall, and that's about it. it's the only place he has right now. he's lived in far worse places, he's lived on the street... but he wants to go home. ]

This doesn't mean anything. It just means I need a place to stay for the night.

( It's hard for Bruce to know when to shove harder and when to just stop. He's messed this up, though. He's let Jason down and hasn't been there for him in the ways he should have been — in the ways a father should have been for a son. If this is all he can offer him — all Jason is willing to take, then at least it's something. If even just for tonight. )

I know.

( The words are soft and are an understanding to what it is Jason means. Because this shouldn't be about what he wants, but what Jason does.

Another glance around the rundown place they've found themselves in, he looks back to Jason, steps heavy then as he starts to move — slow. Just to be sure since he's not entirely out of the woods yet with that toxin.

He doesn't say anything as he goes. Just expects Jason to follow. Hopes for him to follow. )

[ Jason shouldn't be going along with this. he knows he should just tell Bruce to fuck off and go his own way. he can regroup and get more drugs and figure this out on his fucking own like he should have a long time ago.

but he still feels so fucked up, so lost. he turned on Crane tonight and that got him this instead. it got him Bruce, and Jason's too tired to say no. somehow, despite all he's done, Bruce still wants him to come home.

he grabs his bag from the corner of the room, along with his helmet and he follows, catches up to Bruce and then past him. ]

I parked the Batmobile around back, this way.

( There isn't much to do but follow along after Jason. After all, he'd been the one to get them here, Bruce having been so out of it that he ended up passing out in the Batmobile. Seems like a first, really. Lucky for him that Jason was the one behind the wheel. Who knows where he'd be now if he'd been the one driving alone, making his getaway from Crane and everything back there. )

I'll drive.

( He mutters, soft. Feeling capable of doing such a thing now, what with his being a little more alert than he had been before passing out. The gas Jason gave him helped, yes. Not a full blown cure exactly, but. Enough to get the bulk of it out of his system — to give his mind a fighting chance again.

So he goes. With Jason. To the Batmobile. Feeling like old times just... not. )

[ Bruce is lucky that Jason had a change of heart. he could have easily killed him if he really wanted to. good thing it wasn't so easy.

Jason side eyes Bruce when he says he'll drive, because he's not sure how that's gonna go, but who's gonna drive the Batmobile isn't an argument he wants to have right now either, so he just gives a grunt and goes around to the passengers side once they get to the car. ]

You're welcome by the way, for getting your ass outta there and driving you here.

( It's just as well, since he's not in the mood either.

He's careful in the way he gets into the drivers side, taking a moment to make sure he's got it — he does, he just needs a second and in that second, he listens to Jason's words and he knows he's right. He hasn't thanked him for what he did. For what he didn't have to do. For what he didn't do.

Lips pressed together, he stares ahead for a long moment and then the Batmobile comes to life, engine roaring with the same sort of anger that the two of them must be feeling for different reasons. )

Thank you.

( That's really all he's going to say on the drive back to Wayne Manor. )

[ he side eyes Bruce's thank you, but he doesn't say anything more than that either.

there's a comfort that Jason takes when the Batmobile roars to life. it's always been there, since the very first time he rode in it. maybe it's because this is where it all started for him. it's so very different this time than the last time they rode together... well, the time before last, when he was still Robin, while Bruce would drive quietly and Jason would be throwing out whatever quips or smart ass remarks out at him.

this time it's silent. nothing will ever be like that again.

the closer they get to the manor- to the Batcave, the more agitated Jason gets. he wonders if this was a mistake. he already left this place and died because Bruce didn't want him anymore and now he's willingly going back.]

I'm keeping everything I've got on me. That includes my drugs and my guns.

( Maybe this is a mistake. For both of them. But they're here now, no turning back — not yet at least.

He's quiet on the familiar path to enter the cave, only a fleeting glance given out of the corner of his eye when Jason goes and makes sure he knows about what he's keeping with him.

He doesn't say anything. Just parks the car and kills the engine, letting the doors open.

The heavy thud of boots hitting the ground can be heard right before the chittering of bats high above drown out any sound for a couple of seconds. As if welcoming their master home — maybe they're really the only friends he's got outside of Alfred. There's a thought.

Mask removed, he holds it still in his hand and his steps are slow in how he goes, making his way to the setup of screens and controls, dropping down to a chair, faint sounds of discomfort coming from him as he does. That's Bruce for you, a man of so few words, even when in pain. )

Take whatever room you want. ( He says, not looking to Jason as he slowly turns in the chair, mask dropped to the desk. ) You know your way around here.

[ there's this heavy wave of nostalgia that washes over Jason when they enter the Batcave. it's a wave of nostalgia mixed with nausea really. being back here is something else, and yet again, Jason wonders what the hell he's doing here.

when he gets out out of the car, he just stands there for a moment, taking it all in again. maybe the bats are welcoming him home as well. when he was younger, Jason used to talk to them.

he carries his things with him as he heads deeper into the cave, fingers just barely ghosting over everything as if they're trying to regain their memories. he used to love it here once. he remembers jumping around this place, arms stretched out over his head with glee. there was a time when he let himself believe he would always be here. he remembers. ]

You're just gonna let me walk around here? You're not worried that I'll...

[he goes to turn towards the consoles, then freezes as he sees the glass case. his Robin uniform is in there, blood still smeared on the golden R.]

( He's in the process of removing pieces of his suit — the easy things first and that can be done while sitting down. It's not too difficult to move about. His head still feels heavy from both the toxin and the "cure" that Jason had pumped into him. Sleeping it off will probably help.

Jason's words trail off then and he glances over his shoulder. His suit. Yeah. That's a whole thing there. A whole thing Alfred had to deal with as well.

Gloves are placed next to his mask, Bruce looking down to his belt which he slowly starts to remove a few things from. Mostly to give him something to do. A reason so as not to have to look over at that suit either. Funny, since he's the one who put it there in the first place. )

This is still your home.

( He says, head ducked some, still removing pieces. )

It always will be.

[ Jason just stands there, staring at the case for a good long while before he rips his gaze away, eyebrows furrowed as he looks towards Bruce again.

Bruce is still right where he's always been. in that chair, alone, detached. not looking. not feeling. maybe that was always Jason's problem. too much feeling.

and yet there are things that counter that idea. like the way Jason could still access the Batmobile, and how Bruce still has his suit here in the cave, and how even after all of this, when Bruce came to him tonight, all he had really asked of him was to come home. ]

I'm gonna stay in my old room. Are my clothes still there?

haha idk if batman has supplies in the batmobile but we're gonna go with it xD

sorry for this, jason. just bruce things

this is why your son hates™ you.

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sorry i'm here again work just was tiring the past couple days smh

it's all good <3 i figured!

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