r/relationships meme

[crocpuppet]

R/RELATIONSHIPS

(yes this is a watermarked stock image, I swear it's an aesthetic choice and NOT because I can't find/edit nice free use images--)


Do you have an issue between you and your partner? Need suggestions on how to get your mom to stop calling you so much? Having a dispute with your roommate you need help negotiating? Need advice from a friend, but don't have any?

Well, good news! You can consult the internet's largest and absolutely most trustworthy social resource, Reddit!


RULES:

1. do NOT put your name/series in the title! Use the title for your relationship question, eg. How Do I Tell My Roommate To Stop Microwaving Fish?


2. (If you want though, include ooc info/preferences [[in brackets]] at the beginning or end of your post)


3. Write out the details for the problem you need help with in your top post, if you'd like! It can be based on canon, or entirely original, you're roleplayers you know the drill


4. Go forth and advise other characters!


5. If you want to do a post based on a different advice subreddit, i.e. like Am I The Asshole, then go for it! Just keep with the comment title-post title format!

I[29F] want to post a meme, but my roommate[35F] keeps slapping my keyboard out of my hand.
[[crocpuppet | OC]]
I get along great with my roommate, but they keep slapping my keyboard out of my hand whenever I try to make a post, how d

I'm in love with someone from a rival company
We're contractually obliged to be mortal enemies, but I can't help feeling lost in their eyes. Should I confess my feelings to them? How can I do that?

AITA for putting my former boss into a potato
She called me a moron and to prove I'm not a moron I compressed her into a potato battery. My now ex-friend was glaring at me when I did it, but my boss WAS mean and she DID provoke me, so I'm not sure I'm TA?

Comments

my son [??M] and i [??M] don't have a good relationship.

[fathersday]

kinda fucked it up when he was a kid. not sure how to bridge the gap as adults aside from sports.

serious replies only thks

[malcolmbright]

INFO: how did you fuck it up when he was a kid? Also, is he open to a better relationship with you?

My [159M] soulmate [289M] came back. I have a girlfriend [5bn+"F"] and want to keep them both.

[mayfairmonster]

By and large, 289M and 5bn+"F" get along. So there is that. The problem arises in that both of them are going through difficult times in their lives (289M is overcoming trauma and alcoholism, and 5bn+"F" is in the middle of a violent celestial and demonic war) and either need or want my attention more than usual for different reasons. I'm not interested in dividing my time up strictly, and know both of them well enough to know they wouldn't want that for themselves either. I care about them both and want to make sure they're taken care of.

The solution I've offered is all of us living in the same townhouse for the short term. My townhouse.

Two penny for your thoughts.

[adpacempertyrannidem]

This is not a decision you get to make all by yourself. You're only TA if you think you get to decide for them either way. You've offered a solution that seems fair to you. They can now accept, refuse or make counter-offers for you to consider.

As long as you're willing to accept whatever decisions they come to at the end of the negotiation with as much grace and good humour as possible, you're NTA.

Why is polyamoury so difficult? I suppose monogamy is less difficult, for those who can manage it, but I am guessing neither one of us is in that group.

I [90NB-IS-Hyb] with lovers? [26M/25?M/82M/*45?M*] who don't know I'm a teenager.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

In their defense, I look like an adult but my mother keeps reminding me that I'm still too young to marry and that they are dating a teenager. I don't want to make them uncomfortable thinking I'm a child because I am 90 and older than all of them but species standards are getting in the way. We all get along and things are going well but I'm worried that my mother's going to say something shocking.

How should I approach talking to them about the situation with my age before my mother gets to them?

[unpacified]

How are you simultaneously 90 years old and a teenager?

If your species is really long-lived, I suppose you could be a minor. Is that what you mean, you're a minor?

In general, minors should not be dating adults unless they started dating when they were both minors. For instance, Mab and I are one year apart, so there was a year when I was an adult and she was a minor, but we'd been doing the do for a couple of years, so we went right on doing it. (Honestly it still feels very weird that either of us is considered adult. I think of people as adults when they're like, 30, tbh.)

It's kind of irresponsible to not inform adults that you're a minor if you know you look older than your age and they might ask you out. It's illegal in most places for an adult to date a minor, and they can get into legal trouble if they are having sex with you. I'm surprised your mother hasn't told the people you're dating about this already.

My [4M] Daughters [7F, 7F, 6F, 5F, 7F, 8F, 6F, 5F, 6F, 8F, 7.5F, 7F] Have Unionized

[obeyseventually]

So, for context, I live on a farm, so there's a lot of work to be done on it, and it's just me, my daughters, and an old coworker [40s?F]. For security reasons, I can't hire on a lot of help, and until recently it was a really small operation, but since the girls started helping me I was able to expand things a little, a chicken coop, we got some goats, more cows, and so on.

The problem is, they want a pony. Specifically, they want a horse, and I agreed if they did their chores and their homework for a year and a half. This was partly a behaviour reward thing, but also a way to buy myself time to get the money together and pick out a horse, assuming they still wanted one by then.

Unfortunately, it's been a year and it looks like I'll need more time, so I put forth the idea of extending this 'contract'. Somehow, one of the girls got the idea to go on strike because of this, and now half of her sisters have joined her. There's other girls who aren't part of the 'union', but of them there's three refusing to be 'scabs' and the rest aren't enough to cover for the ones on strike (and it'd be unfair to make them do more anyway).

I need help negotiating with them without sending the wrong message. (My dad was a shitty person and definitely anti-union, and I don't want to sound like him.) Their demands so far are a horse (either chestnut with white blaze, or bay), or two ponies, but that's not something I can just go out and get, especially now that I have to cover more stuff around the farm.

tl;dr: how can I get my kids to do their chores without being a union-buster?

[soundwave_ascendant]

Suggestion: full transparency.

Share data regarding income and expenses with all parties concerned, apologise for making a contract based on insufficient data, ask for suggestions, and then renegotiate.

It seems unlikely that your daughters would wish to forego basic necessities in order to acquire this animal, but it seems potentially possible that multiple minds, all in possession of the same data, may generate unforeseen suggestions.

I [1500M] helped resurrect a friend [101M], but our mutual friend [27F] is VERY upset at me. AITA?

[pirateangelbaby]

I originally told her that he was dead, because he was. Then after that, I was approached with an opportunity to maybe bring him back to life eventually, just without his memories, and not necessarily anytime soon. But it only took a couple of months, and now about a year after, our mutual friend found out. She is absolutely furious that I didn't tell her about any of this.

I didn't want to yank her heart around like a yo-yo by promising her something I didn't know if I could deliver, or get her hopes up that she'd get her friend back, since he's not really the same guy. Was that wrong of me? Am I The Asshole?

[dontpetmeibite]

Of all the explanations I've ever been given when someone I care for lied to me, my least favourite of all has always been 'for your own good'.

Unless it was absolutely necessary to conceal the truth (for instance, the possibility of telepathic interrogation), making the decision to lie to someone because you think it will spare their feelings compounds the offence of dishonesty with the patronising attitude that you know better than they do whether or not they can handle objective reality.

I hesitate to call you an asshole because you are generally a very nice guy so far as I know, but lying to people 'for their own good' is one of the classic 'dick moves'.

How do I [28F] keep the goblins that he [??M] keeps sending into my house out?

[notimefordreams]

I think I board up one way in but then I find another. I thought the rule was I had to wish for them so why did I just catch about five of them raiding my fridge?

[spikemuth]

Depends. What type are they?

My [19F] boyfriend [19M] survived the poison I slipped in his cold medicine.

[diedformyself]

God watches out for fools enough to save them from poison that should take out an elephant. How can I kill my boyfriend without getting caught?

[harrowine]

Blood curse.

If you time it to the proper phase of the moon, he'll likely go mad and walk off a cliff.

[ she's helpful! ]

Whether/how to tell my mom I was probably accidentally adopted?

[spider_queen]

Okay, so. This is... really complex and I know some people are gonna call bullshit based on the title, but I swear it's true.

So there was some bullshit going on behind the scenes in the hospital I (20F) was born in, and it may or may not - probably did, really - have resulted in a mix-up involving myself and two other babies born the same night (both 20M, and before anyone asks, my parents took home a baby matching the physical description they expected to take home). I only recently got all the details out of the people who basically raised me (old-as-balls NB, both of 'em).

It put a lot into context and honestly I'm the most upset that I probably can't reduce my father's contributions to fucking up my life to 'sperm donor.' I got three useful parents out of the deal and everything worked out for the best.

The thing is. My mom (40s F) actually turned out to be pretty all right, once she got out of her own head enough to be a parent. And she... didn't want a hetero marriage in the first place, or to engage in the general concept of having children with my father. She loves me, we've talked about that before, but. Should I tell her about the mix-up situation? I honestly don't know how she'd take it. I could probably call in my other parents for backup if I go for it, she knows them and that they're not prone to this level of bullshit.

(My father doesn't factor into this. Mom divorced him once I wasn't a custody battle in waiting. He can go fuck himself, he's not my dad, he never was.)

[kyley_b]

i'd probably tell her, if only because i'm not sure i could keep it secret for another 20 years or whatever.

plus i think if you respect someone, they deserve the truth.

you just worried she'd think differently of you?

How to try and rebuild a relationship after a loss?

[deniabilities]

I've been in a long-term, on-again, off-again relationship for the last five years. Recently I lost our child in a work accident. I'm not sure how we move forward or even if we should.

Our relationship before was always casual but the miscarriage has changed the way we both look at each other. I thought he wouldn't care and he's been deeply hurt by the loss. I've realized he's a better man than I gave him credit for. We don't want to just walk away from each other while we're dealing with this pain but we don't know how to not see it either.

I feel like I should try and make an effort to rebuild the relationship, but how? And how much effort do I put in before it's better to go and get a fresh start with someone new?

AITA for excluding someone from my work-friends group?

[yourexoduslaughing]

I'm close friends with a bunch of other folks at work who have common interests and like to do the same stuff after work. We typically go out and drink at the pub (or bring beers back for our one friend who can't get out these days) and chat about what we're up to on the weekends, that sort of thing. I've got another group of friends at work but I'd say we're less close, since they're more into watching stuff than doing stuff, and I'm just an active kind of girl, you know?

So anyway one of my friends in the watching group has become a lot more active lately, like really getting into wax museums and taxidermy and going to the circus, and the kind of stuff that fits in with our group. We should probably invite her along, but we've all kind of just ignored her mostly. We make sure to talk about our plans when she's not around, and a few of the others even stop conversations when she comes in.

I mentioned things to my uncle and he thought I was being really snotty and rude and that's got me wondering if I am? I'd probably be upset if I was new and everyone else like me just kept shutting me out. Should I just suck it up and invite her along a few times? I'd much rather keep things polite but surface level. I guess I'm still a little mad about her devouring my friend and replacing her, but now that I've typed it, it all sounds a bit silly.

[spaghettimonster]

COULD YOU ELABORATE, ON THAT LAST SENTENCE SPECIFICALLY.

BECAUSE I THINK MAYBE AUTOCORRECT DEVOURED AND REPLACED A WORD.

i [18m] sold my brother's [late 20s??m] charizard card and now he wants me to pay him back

[cupidite]

like yea it was his but he clearly wasnt doing anything w it and i need the money more than he does. fsr he got our sister [20sf] involved and she agrees w him that i should pay him what i sold it for. but like i already spent all the money and theyve always ganged up on me ever since we were younger so i feel like my sister's just on his side cuz why not. and my brother's a dick so i feel like this is karma idk. its literally like a piece of paper that happens to sell for a ton of money on ebay. like i doubt he wouldve known i took it if i hadnt asked him about it during his bday dinner

so like basically how do i get him off my back. i dont want to pay him and i would prefer to go back to ignoring his existence and vice versa but he's like super mad and i feel like i am going insane.

[dontpetmeibite]

Pay for the shit you stole and be glad he didn't turn you in to the police.

My boyfriend (29M) and I (25F) broke up recently, but he's already found a new girlfriend (28F).

[demimondaines]

AITA for keying his car and poking fun at her when we attend the same events?

[energyrain]

Yes.

My mentor (old as balls) is too controlling

[wincon]

Giving credit where it's due, Sensei is the one who took me in when no one else did. I'm not such a monster that I'm ungrateful toward that fact, but he got arrested last year. He's obviously losing his touch in his old age. It's about time for him to retire and let me take my turn, but it seems like he still intends to live vicariously through me.

It's annoying. I'm more than capable of handling myself. I want the damn cheat code to getting him off my back.

Oh, right—in case you wouldn't suggest a tame solution to making it happen, violence is an option.

[deuslovult]

If securing your independence was a matter of brute force, you would have done so already. I'm sure you are not looking for a rallying speech but a practical solution; so, I will set bludgeoning his skull aside for the moment.

A systematic approach would dispel his supernatural sense of dominance over you and eliminate the need for a cheat code; to begin, identify the means through which you are controlled and formulate a plan to undermine them.

It's getting hard to hide my job from my baby brother

[sugarchilde]

Since I couldn't tell him the truth about what I do, it made sense at the time to make the necessary lie... a little colorful? You know how it is with kids: they have such idealized images of us in their minds. So I told him I was a toy seller! What could be better, to a kid?

That he'll find out the truth is inevitable. He's a smart kid! But he's still young, and it feels a little too early to wake him from this particular dream. However, even when I'm far away in a different country, he'll come find me, and stumble across all sorts of scenes that he shouldn't see for what they are just yet. I'm doing my best to limit the damage, but it's harder than you'd think! I do still need to do my job - my ACTUAL job - right, too.

Any advice? I really don't want to burst his bubble until he's a little older, and will understand better.

[obeyseventually]

Oof, okay, so your first mistake was giving details, your second mistake was making it sound interesting with the toy-selling angle. I get the impulse to do that, but it just sets yourself up for - well, this.

Also, uh, it's concerning that he's able to follow you so far away. How old is he and why does he follow you? If he misses you, then try to check in regularly while you're away, and maybe bring him a souvenir from wherever you've been. It doesn't have to be special, it can just be gift store tourist junk. If he wants to "sell toys" with you, though, that's going to be harder to tackle.

My planet is xenophobic. My love interests are not my species. How much trouble am I in?

[coffee_elf]

Potential offspring are very very NOT the problem. Just, I don't see any way I can invite them to visit me without me getting in a lot of legal trouble and probably social censure severe enough to impact my studies and career.

I don't think not being able to visit my world is a sticking point right now, but as we get closer--which I hope will happen!--it probably will be.

[chiaro_oscuro]

I don't know how similar our respective situations are, since my love interest is my species, but we're trying to get our relationship to work even though I both can't come home and wouldn't be welcome back anyway due to circumstances that are my fault. We have a mental link that means we can't be separated - my death wasn't enough to break that link - which complicates things further.

I - personally - would share your caution, but is there any place you can go in your world where some level of privace and seclusion would be expected?.

My partner is a prostitute and I love him. I want to keep him safe but don't want to smother him.

[angelic_asshole]

I mean we're close and he's pretty much all I want in my life right now along with his adoptive family yet, it's his work that bothers me. The times he has to go out and sell himself to anyone who comes along with the right amount of cash. Yes, the money is used to heat his apartment and feed his kids yet....there has to be another way. I just don't want to smother him but it's hard. It hurts every time I know he's away entertaining others back on his own world. The place he comes from is a totalitarian state run by assholes who are fucking bastards. Nazis and just people that shouldn't exist at all.

But yes. Even now it still gets to me that he has to sell himself to for money. I don't want to be a selfish bastard but I had to say this.

[coldsong]

You're presenting a number of issues here and frankly it seems as though the prostitution may be the least of them. It doesn't sound as though it's the infidelity but the transactional nature of it that upsets you, correct?

Given that he comes from a terrible place and is ostensibly entertaining terrible people, it makes sense that you would worry. However, that kind of activity is also a very good way to get inside information; the kind of rumors that could save his life or his family. You would have to ask him to be sure, but it's possible that that flow of information is as important to his livelihood as the monetary income.

I assume he doesn't want you to pay his way. Is that a way to maintain independence, or is he trying to keep your relationship away from any kind of transactional, financial arrangement for the sake of intimacy? The easy answer, if he would accept it, is of course to move him and his family elsewhere, or provide for them yourself, but if that makes any of you uncomfortable, that's not going to work.

How does he feel about his work? If he hates it, working on a way out that you can both accept might be reasonable, but if it provides him with a way of working against this totalitarian regime, he may not want out, and that is something you will have to cope with.

I can't find the aspect of my people's god.

[lunariweapon]

My sister and I have been tasked to seek out our god's chosen avatar. But we can't find her.

And we can't talk to her ex-girlfriend because she's part of a group that wants to genocide my people. On top of that, there's apparently a mermaid involved. The only other person who can help us is a talking cat, and she's, well, a cat, so goes off to chase mice and bugs a lot.

Any advice would be helpful.

[tempingainteasy]

Okay, this might be really basic, but: Are there any rituals that can be done to summon, create, empower, or call to your god's aspect?

How to get my colleague to silence his notifications?

[love_the_smell]

My colleague's notifications are REALLY LOUD. His work PC, his mobile phone... ALL OF THEM have the same type of notification, and it's really obnoxious. He keeps it at maximum volume too... Even during meetings and work hours. It's just really jarring when you're having a serious discussion or are conducting training and you hear his phone yell, "YOUR PHONE IS HERE!!!" When it's an email, it shouts, "YOUR EMAIL IS HERE!!!"

I've told him to turn it off or to put it on silent mode. My other colleagues have reminded him too. But it's either he ignores us or forgets.

Any ideas on how can I get him to put his phone and PC on silent?

[yourexoduslaughing]

Forget trying to get him to put his phone on silent, since if he was going to do that, he would have done it the first time people asked him to. Your best bet is 'gifting' him a new notification sound that doesn't drive everyone insane and then if he doesn't use it, everyone can guilt trip him about it and ask why he's not using it until he breaks down and changes it!

If that doesn't work, break his phone or computer next time he ignores you and that'll get the message across.

How do I confess to my rival in a totally not gay way?

[neutronblast]

Trolls will be exterminated with extreme prejudice. Forewarned is forearmed.

[sugarchilde]

Just confess. If they reject you, since they're your rival, you lose nothing by - to borrow your words - exterminating them afterwards.

Confessing to a comrade is a lot riskier, when you think about it!

I [26F] haven’t talked to my family [52F/51M/28F] in several years. How do I tell them I’m aliv

[poisontippedcure]

For personal reasons, I’m going to keep my information hidden.

I left home five years ago to go on an adventure. Things escalated more quickly than I expected, so I cut off all contact from home. I also changed my name.

I realize now that my family probably thinks I’m dead. I miss them terribly, and I’ve come to realize that I want to see them again before something terrible happens to me. However, I do not want to be lectured. How do I go about it?

[sugarchilde]

You could have sent them a letter every now and then. They ARE your family.

As it is: why don't you send them a letter now? Let them know you're alive before you simply show up on their doorstep. Let them work through their emotions first, then visit when they'll probably have calmed down a little.

That said, if they lecture you, isn't that a good thing? It only proves they still care.

My [17M] boyfriend [??M] is working for someone whom tried to kill me, what should I do?

[ghostdrummer]

I'd like the guy a lot. But as long as we're together I'm at risk of getting hurt. That's what he thinks at least. Which made him break up with me. But I don't want him to go... I want him back though. Is there any sort of solution to this? I don't like being lonely.

[ordinaryannie]

Info: Will you be putting yourself & your BF in more danger if you go to the cops? Not always the best solution, but "some asshole tried to kill a 17 year old" is in their general wheelhouse.

Should I (35M) confess my feelings to my friend (30?M)

[hobblepot]

Soliciting advice on this matter, now in the proper subreddit. See below:

Some time ago, I developed feelings for someone. Despite our promising beginnings, a series of unfortunate events lead to a relationship that was fractious at best, marked by betrayals and bloodshed. It took a few years, but we have since overcome our checkered pasts and painstakingly rebuilt our trust in each other to stand at each others' sides once more... as friends and co-conspirators. I have recently suffered a grievous injury in my desperate bid to protect him from harm, and despite the resulting pain and life-changing complications, I know in my heart that I would do it again in an instant. I would sacrifice my life for him so that he might live on and realize his full potential.

I love him dearly as I have loved no one else. But I have not found the courage to tell him this explicitly. And though I have reason to believe that he cares for me, in his own way, I am uncertain he feels the same. The word alone - love - is tied to deeply painful memories between us, and I confess I'm afraid of speaking it only to be hurt once more. In all my time of knowing him, he appears entirely impervious to hints and suggestions, even to the mere idea that anyone could care for him, and I've all but given up on the hope of him catching on. I... might have also made the mistake of referring to us as 'brothers' once, in his company, simply because I could not think of a word stronger and more intimate than friendship that could convey the importance I place on our relationship.

I'm at a loss. Should I confess my love to him a second time? Is there any point, or would I only be courting disaster? I tell myself I should simply try to accept what we have for what it is and set aside any hope of more, but I cannot bear the thought of him finding comfort in anyone else.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

I think it's always better to say something than stay silent. I've lost some people along the way that I wish I'd said more to and it's not a good feeling.

Re-uniting and re-finding trust might be a good argument for a strong relationship and commitment to each other even if it's just friends. It might be worth bringing up as part of anything else.

If love is too deep of a word, why don't you try moving toward it slowly? There are a lot of half steps that might be achieved between being friends and being partners/lovers. Which way you go would depend whether you think the sexual or romantic part of your lives is what you want or need to build first. Dinner dates with friends can be romantic without being gushingly romantic. Friends with benefits or something similar might be worthwhile. I have a partner who we jokingly call our relationship "friends with benefits" but it isn't sexual. It is more about physical closeness and trust. I think exploring what parts of love and relationship you find most important might give you some small goals without jumping to the L-word which would be uncomfortable for both of you, or it sounds that way.

You sound like you see things very black and white. Relationships are a spectrum from being strangers to being committed or long term lovers. You may want to give yourself the option to explore things in the middle so you can both find your way after being hurt.

I hope this helps the both of you.

I (M30? 35?) am not as interested in physical relation as my partner (M25)

[softheartedshizun]

He is very spry, and as a stallion protagonist, it's only to be expected that his drive for such matters is quite high. He was designed with having 613 wives to satisfy, and a rather heavenly pillar to do so with.

However, I am not that interested in such things, and every time we engage in such matters it's rather uncomfortable because of the size and eagerness.

I don't know what I should do, if I say no he cries, and I promised we would learn together. Honestly, I wish he could go learn on his own.

What should I do?

Also, he keeps calling me teacher in bed, and won't stop. I feel like a criminal when he does that!

[love_the_smell]

First of all... 613 wives? Did I read that correctly?

I'm surprised he still has bodily fluids at that rate...

I (39m) am seeking a gift for my daughter (5f)

[ravenspeaks]

To shorten a rather complicated tale, I unexpectedly became a surrogate parent about five years back. I love her like a daughter, and in those early months after her hatching, it was easy to pick out gifts that she liked on my travels. Though she is still very young in years, she has grown to adulthood (again, complicated) quite rapidly and can now see the world she has fought so hard to protect on her own, so toys and games and souvenirs now seem a trite option.

The Tyrian New Year is upon us, and between a civil war in Northern Ascalon, the ever growing threat of Jormag, and Primordus's waking, I haven't had much time to devote to thinking about celebrations.

I would like to get her something meaningful to show my pride in how far she's come and encourage her in the dark times ahead, but I find myself at a loss. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[itmeanstruth]

Have you thought about something special of yours that could be passed down sort of like an heirloom?

Mama gave me a special necklace when I was around that age. Nothing fancy. But she was really sick at the time. And she wanted me to have something that would make me feel safe and protected, and remember her by if, well... It meant a LOT back then. And thankfully, she got better!! Now that I’m older, it still means a lot to me. I hardly ever take it off.

I (800? i lost count, sorry M) am crushing on my (800??M) friend, but he already likes someone.

[heartinparadise]

Recently realized that I like my friend as more than just a friend. We're pretty close. We share a bed sometimes, share dishes, hold hands, go on trips together, and we've kissed a few times(but I don't think it counts if you're sharing air or exchanging qi, does it?). He seems to have a pretty flirtatious nature, and for a while I thought it was just around me, but just lately he told me about a special someone he's in love with.

When he talks about the one he likes, there's no way I can compete. Noble and gracious, beautiful and virtuous, saw him at his worst and still showed him kindness, there's no end to the wonderful things about them.

Since finding out there's someone he likes, it's been harder and harder to shrug off his flirting. He even (jokingly) asked if I'd marry him the other day. And (also joking) asked if I'd move in with him? Is he doing this on purpose?? I don't know how much more I can take. I hate that it makes me so jealous, but I definitely want him to be happy!

He won't tell me who his special someone is though, so I couldn't help get them together, even if I wanted to. What should I do?

[softheartedshizun]

Are you sure it's not you?