bakerstreet | /insert jail quote HERE

/insert jail quote HERE

The Jail Cell Meme

You are now trapped in a jail cell. You may or may not know why or how you got inside of it; having been teleported into one due to the fickle whims of a resident deity is just as acceptable as getting arrested. (Maybe because of this?) You also might be innocent. If you're innocent and confused then it really sucks to be you.

You have company. Their circumstances might be the same or different from your own. But you're stuck together for a while.

What do you guys do?

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Ja, that was no fun. Though I missed a lot of it. Little bit of a glass jaw, you know? Though I don't think there's any shame in getting your clock cleaned by the most powerful mutant in ever.

[He mimes being knocked out for a second. Whatever he claims to think, it is kind of embarrassing.]

Warren... Oh, Angel? He's not a student, but we see him sometimes. He mostly prowls around New York being heroic, I guess?

Yeah, don't ever be ashamed of that. I mean, I took a punch from Wolvie once. I always remind people of that.

[She nods. While she might be almost ten years older than him, she's still rather young. It's the way her life is.]

Wow, back home? The original team was Scott, Warren, Bobby, Hank and Jean.

That kind of sounds like a pain for everyone, but we get on each other's nerves plenty, too. It's mostly just happening to be the first batch of students, I guess? No choice about it.

[He smirks a bit.]

Plus we were mostly just dealing with the Brotherhood back then, so... Small potatoes.

[He's always pleased with himself when he gets an English idiom right.]

[She chuckles. He looks so proud. So, she hugs him again. Because, hugging is a thing, okay?]

You'll eventually miss those small potatoes. Besides, it's always fun making the Brotherhood eat their schemes.

[He's starting to feel like a teddy bear, but there are far worse things he could be.]

"Schemes" is kind of giving them too much credit. Spontaneous decisions to go break stuff, more like. When Quicksilver's not around they're pretty much harmless.

[He even feels pretty bad for them. At least he just has to be aware of Mystique at a distance, and Lance and Todd aren't even really bad guys. Just irritating.]

[If told to back off, she will. Just... Kurt = HUGS in her world.]

Wait, wait Pietro and Wanda are still part of the Brotherhood? Wow, that takes me back.

I... guess? I don't keep up with the gossip. They live with the rest of the Brotherhood, anyway. What I think happens is Wanda does what she wants, Pietro does what Daddy wants, and Dukes, Todd, and Lance try really hard to ignore them.

[It seems to work out, even.]

[B L I N K.]

Dude, they're not twins?

[Because, well, their relationship has evened out over the years but there's been a lot of talk of how... inappropriate they are with each other. That's stopped, since Wanda is very content being Queen of Genosha, abusing her bother's abilities and telling her father he's being bad and to go play with the grandchildren.]

Ja, they are. But my impression is that Quicksilver does what Magneto tells him, and Wanda mostly tries to murder her dad whenever they're in the same room.

[He looks a bit sheepish.]

I mean, the longest conversations I've had with her are when she helped me try to get Mystique turned back from stone and when Toad and I rescued her from Daddy, so I may not have the whole story, here.

[She snickers. That sounds hilarious. She'd love to vacation in that world. Except, ya know, everyone in her world would flip out.]

Sounds like a fun... wait, turned to stone?

[He winces a little. That wasn't a good time for anyone.]

One of the wonderful lead-ups to the Apocalypse thing. She somehow got locked into a statue when she let him out, or part of her did, I guess? Since she turned up alright again as a horseman, and...

[He's just going to leave the details of that incident out.]

The stone her was destroyed. So search me.

Woah. Raven as a horseman. Didn't see that one coming. I mean, sure, Warren and Logan, but not her.

[After that, well, Apocalypse has been Handled. She understands there are implications behind it, but there are things she just doesn't ask. One of them is about who Apocalypse actually is. Because he isn't a mutant.]

Mystique's got more lives than Wolvie and Dad combined, I swear. Ever since Destiny died... [She shakes her head sadly.]

[Kurt only knows about Destiny from Rogue, so he can't comment on that.]

Oh, uh, ours were the Professor, Storm, Magneto, and Mystique. They're all okay now, though. I think we all felt kinda silly after all that fighting, when all we needed to do was turn off his powers.

[Well, he knows he does, but that may have to do with the kind of headache you get after getting cold-clocked by Apocalypse.]

Was nice to have everyone on the same side for a while, though.

[Jubilee shudders. Magneto as a Horseman? That... nononono. Bad! BAD! BAAAAAD!]

That's... okay, that's scary. Magneto's an Omega, at least in my world, and the Prof? No thanks.

[He still shouldn't feel bad about that. That's totally a good reason not to fight.]

How... okay, there's no way to ask this nicely, but how bad do the humans treat you guys?

Uh, could be worse? After Magneto blew everyone's cover it was bad, but Ororo and Mr. McCoy literally walked onto the floor of Congress and told off the powers that be. So we're allowed to go to school still, but people suck, and when the football team chased a couple Morlocks with lethal mining equipment, I think they get like six months probation?

[He slumps a bit.]

Not great. Und I definitely don't let my image inducer run down, or I'll have to go live in the sewers, too.

Oh, Elf. No. Nononono. You never will have to live in the sewers. You're not a Morlock.

[Because she knows what he's thinking.]

In my world? You walk down the street and people ask for your autograph. Not everyone and we've got our problems, but you've got fans, and even fanfiction written about you.

[Probably not comforting.]

Without the image inducer. See, Logan bet you his bar tab that you wouldn't do it and you did, and nothing happened.

Now, you and me? Go clubbing without it, and for a while, people thought we were dating.

[It's 2002 where Kurt's from and he's not much of a nerd, so he's not even totally sure of what fanfiction is, but the rest just sounds absurd. It's too weird to even be a pleasant idea; he's always assumed that if he does get to have a life, it'll be as a normal looking kid.]

Apparently a constant in all universes is my friends think I should go out in public looking like a Krampus-smurf.

[Her German is better than it was at one point. However, still not as good as it could be. She hates lessons, okay?]

Krampus-smurf? That's a new one on me.

It's kind of an old joke repurposed? Apparently I used to tell my parents I was a baby Krampus. It's kind of a... Christmas... demon? Bavaria is weird. Anyway.

[He knows entirely too much about his own childhood antics. His parents had no one else to reminisce to, since he was kept secret from everyone.]

Evil Keebler elf is another option.

Mmm.

[Nope, she doesn't like it.]

Well, let's see, swashbuckling, dashing, master swordsman, aerialist, pirate, and heartthrob. I think I like those nicknames better.

[She bumps him with her knee. Jubilee wishes she had her phone, but she'd been without her coat when they'd grabbed her.]

I would definitely be a good pirate. But the range is pretty much from Elf on the high end to... Honestly, the weirdest thing I think I've been called so far is Fuzzbutt, but blame Toad for that one.

[It's easy to just go ahead and blame Toad for whatever you want.]

[She almost chokes.]

Um, that's... Okay, um, Kitty calls Kurt that? It's an affectionate thing. But, ugh, Toad. I can understand not wanting to hear it again.

But, let's see, Elf, Fuzzy, Captain - but that's usually a joke - Dread Pirate Kurt, um... I'm not even sure all the nicknames you have in my world.

[She smiles a bit.]

Kevin calls him 'babe' when he forgets there are other people around.

Eh, Toad's harmless. I even like the little guy a bit. I also got Nightcreeper, which'll be good if I ever decide to be evil.

[He snickers a little.]

Though the, uh, Kevin thing is definitely the weirdest part of your very weird dimension. I mean, I thought Scott only had the one brother.

[Right, because that's the significant bit.]

Ugh, he's a total creeper in my world. I mean, like stalker material creeper.

[She laughs. She can't imagine him as 'evil'. Shady, sure, but not evil.]

Nah. Scott's got two older brothers and two younger ones. Toshi, Remy, Scott, Alex and Kevin, in order of age. The older two are only his halfbrothers, but, still, family. And they were all raised by different people. The Summers family tree is a bit complex at home.

[He's not even gonna try to get his head around that.]

Ja, I'm not following at all. Scott and Alex generally feels like enough Summers for anyone...

[So Scott's got a hell of a stick up his ass. Kurt's used to him at this point. He hardly ever makes fun of him now. To his face.]

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