this is my emotional support sext.

[inuyasock]

the phone sex +
sexting meme

what it says on the tin. leave a blank comment, include your preferences or a starter, it's all good. reply to others with a text, a dirty picture (please link all nsfw things!), misfires, misdials, drunk filthy voicemails, whatever your heart desires.

Comments

[quietroom]

The notes are not off. There is something else missing.

You will return, then?

[desultorily]

If I don't willingly, an angry donkey or Lan disciple will see me waylaid. I am a fragile creature with no options!

[quietroom]

Hardly without options.

The juniors miss you.

[desultorily]

I miss my terrible babies too. So cute in their Lan cots!

I will bring them each a trinket. Tell them to be patient why senior Wei wrangles the last of a shop keeper's fortunes. Rice for Sizhui! Spicy oil for Jingy! My beautiful, charming heir of a cursing nephew gets the pickled cabbage.

[quietroom]

Spoiling them?

I will let their trinkets be a surprise.

[desultorily]

Spoiling them. Spoiling everyone. A beggar's charity. For Lan Zhan, uffffff.

Salve. For your lily white hands and their absent calluses. Would you like that? You must have at least five pots at the ready. What's a sixth?

[quietroom]

Five is excessive. I replace the one I have when it runs low.

There is no need for gifts. Your return would be enough.

[desultorily]

Tell me what's missing from the song.

[quietroom]

[ If his previous responses had been swift, this one is slower, arriving minutes later. ]

An accompaniment.

[desultorily]

Lan Zhan. Lan Wangji. Hanguang-Jun.

[quietroom]

Wei Ying.

[desultorily]

You never ask. Don't you know the words?

[quietroom]

Words are not easy.

[desultorily]

Use them.

You've killed men. Beasts. Mastered sorcery. Held Yin iron.

I have no mercy to spare for a man so accomplished. Use your words.

[quietroom]

Are those accomplishments when I could not save the ones who needed protecting?

What do you want me to say, Wei Ying? To ask?

[desultorily]

Nothing.

Show me your hands again. Both of them.

[quietroom]

[ This time, he sends a still photo of his hands, hovering above the guqin although he hasn't been playing. Did he maybe use some small amount of spiritual power to take the photo, a frivolous use? Well - no one but Wei Wuxian will ever see the photo, so no one needs to know. ]

[desultorily]

( Most men might have thought to snap pictures of just one hand at each time. The great Hanguang-Jun endeavours to tackle mountains. )


They're beautiful.

I'll draw them. That can be your gift. Don't refuse me, thank me.

[quietroom]

[ He never did anything by halves. ]

Thank you, Wei Ying. I will not refuse anything from you.

[desultorily]

Don't be courteously coy. I'm angry with you.

[quietroom]

They are honest words.

Why angry?

[desultorily]

You've used up dozens of conveyance talismans, and you still haven't asked what you mean to have.

It's irritating. The waste is.

1/2

[quietroom]

Would you rather me not message you?

[ He might stop, if Wei Wuxian asked, but then he'd probably mope be distant for days. ]

2/2

[quietroom]

[ His next message follows almost immediately, even though it's hard to actually say. ]

Wei Ying. Come home.

Please.

1/2

[desultorily]

I am home. But don't tell Jiang Cheng. It suits him to forget the south of Yunmeng is still Yunmeng, even if they have no main roads or soldier sons or merchants. Or lotuses.

Why did we keep this territory? I can't remember. No, don't frown. It's not my memory. This once, it's hardly that.

'Wei Ying.' 'That's me, Lan Zhan! Still not a sickness of my memory.'

The south must have been some gentleman's noble inheritance, or war spoils. No! No, a dowry. It's got the reek of something gotten and thanked profusely and shelved.

We've put not a lick of the tax revenues here, the fishermen keep complaining of it. Do you know, they don't use bait like they did, 16 years ago? Of course there's bait, but it's... sophisticated. Less of the ol' ground and hook, more, errrrrrrrr, learning? 'What does this fish enjoy'? 'And the other?' Hunger will do that to you, I suppose. Educate you. So they've been teaching me to fish!

I'm very poor at it. Quite possibly, the worst. Of the village, certainly! A toddler gave me her catch yesterday in embarrassment. If you think I didn't take it and let her braid my hair for it, guess again. She ruffled it something fierce.

'Wei Ying.' 'Yes, Lan Zhan, I know it was probably tangled before she touched it. But she hardly improved on it.'

And for what was my misery? Flounder? Why do we suffer flounder in Yunmeng? Even the name's unfortunate. Set out for disappointment. How are we supposed to attempt the impossible on a diet of flounder?

In conclusion, this is why we drench everything in hot oil. Because of old-world, forgotten fishermen villages in the south and their legions of flounders.

'Wei Ying.'