this is my emotional support sext.

[inuyasock]

the phone sex +
sexting meme

what it says on the tin. leave a blank comment, include your preferences or a starter, it's all good. reply to others with a text, a dirty picture (please link all nsfw things!), misfires, misdials, drunk filthy voicemails, whatever your heart desires.

Comments

[desultorily]

Oh, I accept that challenge.

[quietroom]

Not everything needs to be a challenge.

[desultorily]

Why do you need a review, in any case?

Lan Zhaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn, are you becoming vain? Are you concerned about the state of your nails?

[quietroom]

Vanity is forbidden.

I simply wish to know your thoughts.

[desultorily]

My thoughts are, the sect should offer no dowry when we find Lan Zhan his bride. We'll roll you around in gold dust a little and the bridegroom will be gift enough! I am so pleased to be contributing to your clan's wealth gains.

[quietroom]

That is unnecessary and unlikely to happen. And a waste of gold dust.

[desultorily]

Second challenge accepted.

[quietroom]

Not everything is a challenge. I do not desire a bride.

[desultorily]

( ...inevitable: a picture of a long-suffering Lil Apple, after someone strapped a suspiciously bridal red wreath over the donkey's neck. )

[quietroom]

Do not torment Apple, I would like you back in one piece and unbroken.

[ It slips out and then it's too late to retrieve it, so know his deep secret, Wei Wuxian. ]

[desultorily]

( It takes... far longer than it should. Half a day, at a generous count. The less forgiving might say, longer. )



I know.

[quietroom]

Do you?

Why do you have a bridal wreath?

[desultorily]

I should tell you I gave birth to a second child and the villagers pushed me into matrimony to escape my shame.

1/2

[quietroom]

[ the first message is almost immediate ]

What.

2/2

[quietroom]

[ the next one takes a little longer, not too much longer ]

Wei Ying.

[desultorily]

I borrowed it.

Didn't Lil Apple look dashing? I could swear I saw a faint blush.

[quietroom]

Return it.

Or find Apple a donkey companion.

[desultorily]

Lan Zhan, honestly. You and your cloth bands. It's only a piece of velvet. Lil Apple likes it just fine, and it shields those beady murderous donkey eyes when it rains now!

[quietroom]

You should still return it, if you borrowed it.

[desultorily]

All right, Lan Zhan. I won't be bringing you a pretty bride anymore. Woe is you.

[quietroom]

I do not require a bride.

[desultorily]

What do you know about what you do or don't need?

[quietroom]

Considering it is my life, I am aware of my needs. They have been satisfied.

[desultorily]

Considering it's your life, I am the best person who can recommend!