(no subject)

[shinraownsyou]

the USERNAME meme

Journal names. They're something we all think about, and that we often try to make as fittingly torturous to our characters as possible. Isn't it nice that our characters never have to know they're wandering around with that horrible label attached to them?

...wouldn't it be fun if they did?

RULES

1 Your character is communicating with others through a journal community, just like how we're using them, and they are perfectly aware of that fact. Whether they think that's normal or not is totally up to you.

2 The also know that when they signed on to this community, they were automatically assigned a name that supposedly has something to do with their personality and/or history. They didn't have any say in what that name was going to be, they're just stuck with it.

3 Make a post with your character's reaction to seeing what their own username is. Do they think it fits? Do they hate it with a passion? Are they downright confused?

4 Comment to other people's posts with your character's reactions to everyone else's usernames. If they know the other character, they might have good reason to laugh at them or feel sorry for them. If they don't, this could lead to some pretty interesting first impressions, don't you think?

5 If you want to use a name that's different from your actual journal name, just mark that in your post. No need to create a whole new journal just to make your character's life worse for one meme. ;)

6 PROFIT!

Comments

So appropriate

[forcefullyunstable]

Rey. Is coming here. To ask me to stop attacking the Resistance? And you want me to say YES?!

[there’s enough stunned silence, you can probably hear his brain breaking through the Force.]

The kriffing bowcaster wound is infected, that’s it. That’s what’s going on. The kriffing thing’s gone septic, and this is just some sort of feverish delusion... because if you really were me, you’d know WHY I CAN’T DO THAT!! Just like why I can’t go back!

[forcecalls]

[He can practically feel it.]

Not yet, that's not really why she'll come, and yes that's what I'm saying.

I know you think you can't. I was you, and I didn't. But I should have.

[forcefullyunstable]

That... that doesn’t make any sense!

I KILLED MY FATHER! It’s far too late to EVER go back!

[forcecalls]

[The first part is true. The second part isn't. Hearing it is as good as a punch in the gut, for how it affects him. He remembers saying those words. Repeating them to himself like a damned mantra.]

You like telling yourself that.

[forcefullyunstable]

[but everything is true from a certain point of view.]

I don’t know if I like it. But I have to keep saying it! If I believe it, then the Supreme Leader will believe it... and the pain I feel will stop like it’s supposed to.

[forcecalls]

It won't. It won't stop.

[It will never, ever stop, no matter how many things he might do to make up for it.]

And Snoke knows it.

[forcefullyunstable]

He said it would stop. He promised.

[cue mutual flashbacks of To Catch Predator: Galactic Edition]

[forcecalls]

[You bet that's a mutual flashback. His gut twists with an anger that he'd previously reserved for, well, everything else.]

Has it ever made anything better?

[forcefullyunstable]

OF COURSE IT HAS!!

...Well, better than anyone else ever has.

[forcecalls]

[Why is he subjecting himself to being reminded of being like this, it is a mystery.]

Right. You don't know her well yet.

[forcefullyunstable]

[Because damn it, letting the past die is hard. You know that.]

The scavenger?! Are you kidding me?! In case you haven’t noticed, she made a lot of things worse! She got away, with the map to Skywalker, with MY grandfather’s lightsaber and more power than she knows. And she slit my kriffing face open!

...which, hold on a second. The Supreme Leader forbade the use of bacta. The medics said this was permanent. If you’re me, where’s your scar?!

[forcecalls]

She healed it.

[forcefullyunstable]

What? WHY?!

[there’s the sound of his brain breaking again,]

[forcecalls]

[He does actually derive some minor enjoyment from watching his counterpart's mind metaphorically explode.]

She cares. Not yet, for you. But she will.

[forcefullyunstable]

But YOU said... OH FOR KRIFFS SAKE. She’s not, like, my long lost sister or something is she? I know Dad was never around...

[forcecalls]

[...help.]

No. She's not.

[forcefullyunstable]

[hey, it’s not fair for his to be the only brain that’s breaking.]

Just checking! I heard stories about how Mom and Uncle Luke met, okay?!

Then... why would she... If she doesn’t join us, then I... Is the Supreme Leader right? That I wasn’t worthy of such a test? That I am seduced by the light? But I killed him! I didn’t hesitate! ...much.

[forcecalls]

[Help.]

He's NOT RIGHT!

[Why is this SO HARD?
...he knows why, but.]

It's not about being completely dark or completely light. It's just... not. He's wrong.

[forcefullyunstable]

How can you even say that?! Of course he’s RIGHT! He has to be right!

...if he’s not, then... then Dad... I... he... died for... I...

No. No... you’re lying. You have to be lying! This is a test. He’s testing my devotion, that’s what this is!

[forcecalls]

...

It doesn't stop hurting. It never stops.

Don't make it worse.

[forcefullyunstable]

[but making it worse is our speciality, you know that...]

No. No, no no no... That... that’s...

...is... is what Dad said true? That Snoke only wants me for my power? That he’s using me? That he’ll crush me when he’s finished with me?

[forcecalls]

[It's a very strange feeling, watching this echo of his past break. He doesn't really know whether or not it's a good thing.]

You knew it was true when he said it, didn't you? You just didn't want to believe it.

[forcefullyunstable]

I don’t want to believe it NOW either, I...

I just wanted to be free of the pain. And I’m not... i’m not...

[forcecalls]

No. It didn't work. No matter how far you try to dig into the dark... it never works.

[forcefullyunstable]

But I can’t go back to the light either. Even if I... even if I HADN’T killed him... I have too much darkness in me to ever go back. I was better off dead! Skywalker, the other students... they all knew it! None of them believed me, even ONCE! I was a monster! I AM a monster!