Call me, call me any, anytime!

[buckingham]

the phone sex +
sexting meme

what it says on the tin. leave a blank comment, include your preferences or a starter, it's all good. reply to others with a text, a dirty picture (please link all nsfw things!), misfires, misdials, drunk filthy voicemails, whatever your heart desires.

Comments

rolling with option b

[nekked]

so

how big r u

[spoilers: she's bad at this.]

Assumed cr it is, so down

[not_so_hollow]

...i

...dont think anyone would complain?

is there a right way to answer this shit?

[spoiler alert 2.0: anything she can do, he can do worse]

bettt

[nekked]

idk

measurements??

[preferably the numerical kind, but she'll take what she can get.]

[not_so_hollow]

you want me to go measure it?

you fuckin' serious? what do I get for going through the trouble?

[Stalling, stalling]

[nekked]

whaddya want a fuckin medal??

im not asking for much here jfc just like a rough estimate

use whatevers laying around lazy ass

yeah sorry for him... coughs.

[not_so_hollow]

no i don't want a medal, its called quid pro quo dumbass

like im gonna just share that for no good reason, do you even know who you're talking to right now??

[nevermind the fact that he's already working on it. he's just holding out on you, Ryuuko.]

never apologize

[nekked]

dude doesnt know his own dick size but im the dumbass 🤔

think of it as an educational experience

this way u dont look stupid the next time someone asks

I always get told that and I still do it anyway. he gives me second hand embarrassment

[not_so_hollow]

this coming from the chick just texting people and asking about it??

are you shopping around or something?

let me educate YOU on something. not all dudes are only out to get laid and im definitely not one of those types. so no, i didn't have my exact measurements on hand for when you decided to start this crap. that hardly makes me the dumbass

bless

[nekked]

that small, huh?

1/...3?

[not_so_hollow]

[Oh hell no]

2/3

[not_so_hollow]

[don't give in for pride's sake

don't do it Ichigo

don't]

[not_so_hollow]

[goddammit he's doing it

so begrudgingly it's not funny]

that's a really low way to get what you want

if you're really SO desperate to know then fine

a little under 15cm

1/3

[nekked]

low like ur body count?

i never claimed to take the moral high ground. just sayin.

[really, he should know better.]

2/3

[nekked]

[but oh.

actual deets. fucking finally.

hold pls. math has never been her strongest subject.

how does one convert centimeters to inches?? he's really making her work for this one.]

3/3

[nekked]

[wait...]

soft or hard?

[not_so_hollow]

...hard

[he is over here having a panic attack just. waiting for her to fucking degrade him or something.]

[nekked]

[oho.]

sooo i make you hard?

[it's probably a good thing he can't see her grinning down at her phone like a hyena.]

[not_so_hollow]

don't be so full of yourself you little shit

no, i did

its not like you were asking with soft in mind

[UH YEAH. That's a good thing. Although, knowing her, he imagines something pretty close and isn't happy thinking about it.

Not happy. Still hard, though.]

[nekked]

you admit you did it for me tho

[it's not like he did it for science.]

ftr i'm digging this vibe lol

[not_so_hollow]

so what if i did?!

[nope, it was all for the pride. he's too easy to trap if pride is on the line. good job on exploiting that fact.]

ryuuko is thriving

[nekked]

[hook, line, and sinker.]

were you picturing me while you did it?

i can see this very clearly. ichigo is not. he is dying inside.

[not_so_hollow]

you wish i was

[he is neither confirming or denying. Ichigo is taking this to the grave with him purely out of spite. (the answer is yes, though.)]

[nekked]

[don't make her call him out on his bluff.

a few minutes go by- maybe he's managed to deter her from terrorizing him further?




...ding. that's the sound of a very risqué picture gracing his inbox.]

here. next time you won't have to rely on ur imagination.

[ it's ryuuko. topless. in bed. enjoy ♥ ]

[not_so_hollow]

[He does start to think that maybe this encounter is over, and is very reluctantly about to go solve his current problem when his phone startles him out of his daze.

Opens it. Jaw drops a little. Furious blushing. You know. Ichigo stuff.

What does he even say to that?!

After couple of (agonizing, for him) minutes:]

You delivered. Color me surprised.

I've got a problem to go solve, no thanks to you, so... we done here or is there more?

[nekked]

[he's not the only one suffering during those agonizing moments of silence on his end. a million thoughts are racing through her mind--- and none of them are calmed by that response.]

guess that depends...

did I satisfy the quid pro quo?

[does he like what he sees?]