bakerstreet | what's your number?

[The ferocity makes him pause. He studies Dabi for a moment. And for the first time, looks into his eyes.

Those blue, blue eyes. He shakes his head. No, it can't be. He's being trained to look for small things to let him know when a patient is hurt and doesn't want to say why or how. He's already knows he wants to help kids like him and his siblings, in abusive homes.

And his instincts are screaming at him now.]

What did he do to you?

[Because it's obvious that Dabi has it in for his family. He looks again into those blue eyes. Eyes the color that matches one of Shouto's, his father's, and Touya's...]

What did he do to you [He pauses, swallows, and then continues, voice so quiet it might as well be a whisper] Touya?

[He doesn't know if he wants it to be true or not]

[ Dabi can feel it as it's happening. Natsuo is looking at him now. Looking at him, and noticing him as if for the first time, and Dabi can feel the heat starting to move through him at an intense rate. Sometimes it gets too hard to control. Sometimes it starts to burn him up. It happened all the time when he was younger and he was being beaten down for eight or so hours while his body was truly giving up.

If the world knew what their false hero had done to him, to their mother, to their entire family... well, the truth of it is, Dabi knows none of it would change, and that's why he has to do it for them. He's going to cremate every last one of them.

But it's the name leaving his brother's lips that sets it all ablaze, blue flames licking out of the scarred parts of him. ]

Natsuo.... don't.

Touya.

[He's feeling so many emotions. Grief, anger, rage, relief. And he's not hiding them. He doesn't want to hide them. Instead, he steps forward, feeling the heat radiating off his brother.

His brother.

He clenches his fist.] You asshole! [And he punches his brother in the chest, hard.] Why haven't you gotten in touch?! Do you have any idea how much I missed you? How much I grieved and hated myself for not being able to help you? Fuck you!

[Tears are streaming down his face and he angrily wipes away at them.]

I missed you so much. Asshole.

[ Dabi wants to step back, away from all of this. It's too much emotion, too much familiarity. It's too much of something he put behind him so long ago because he had to. He doesn't want to face it again, especially not like this.

Especially not with Natsuo of all people. How weak he feel now for contacting him like this. He should have known that Natsuo would see through it. Of all people, he would.

He wants to take that step back, and all the steps to continue running away, but he can't move a muscle and everything hurts. He can already smell his flesh burning again as his flames become more erratic... until Natsuo punches him right in the chest. Hard. And then starts yelling at him like that. It stuns Dabi right back into the present, and the flames start to die down as he grabs at his chest. ]

You know why I didn't get in touch! I didn't have a choice. He made sure you all thought I was dead. That everyone thought I was dead.

[Natsuo's tears, his words, they're clawing at his insides. Dabi knows that no matter what name he has, no matter how much he's changed, he's still the one who let his younger siblings down.]

Edited 2020-03-25 04:55 (UTC)

[How much is true? How much did his father cover-up, how much is Touya mistaken. Because his father, their father, seems to show remorse about Touya's death, now anyway. But then, Todoroki Enji is a stranger to him.

And none of that matters. Not at all. His brother is alive, his first friend, the one he looked up to more than anyone, even after his death.]

I would have kept you secret. I wouldn't have told anyone, not even neesan if you had asked!

[He loves his sister, he does, but she wants to be a big happy family again. Not really for herself, because he knows she hasn't forgiven their father either, but for Shouto. For their mother. For him.

What would she say now if their older brother was alive.]

Asshole. [And now that Touya's not burning up the room he crushes his brother in a hug.] I would have helped you.

Edited 2020-03-25 05:10 (UTC)

[ Natsuo was old enough to see what damage their father had done. What damage he had done throughout the years. He was old enough to be able to pick out was true and what wasn't. He was there when their father beat Touya into the ground, forcing him to continue through all the breaks and bruises and burn marks. Touya tried to keep it from them whenever he could, but there were times when he couldn't hold back his cries of agony at the hands of his father, and couldn't hide all the wounds fast enough.

He knows even Shouto saw.... but it was so long ago. ]

I didn't want to, Natsuo.

[It's a lie, but it's what he has to cling to right now, because the guilt of it all is threatening to pull him apart. He wasn't ever going to do this again.

The hug is unexpected too, though he realizes once those strong arms are around him that he should have expected it. Natsuo had always been like this. Better. More caring, more loving. And in the end, more reliable and a hell of a lot stronger. He didn't have to go through any of what Touya went through, but Dabi won't see it any other way.

He tenses hard, his whole body still far too hot and rigid.... but it's been so long, so long, eventually he relaxes into it just a little bit. He had forgotten what this kind of human contact felt like. Something soft and warm and solid, holding all his stitches together.]

You shouldn't have had to.

[He was. It's all coming back now, and it's clashing with what his life is now. And all he can do is focus on Touya.]

Liar.

[He's mostly saying to convince himself that Touya is lying. But when he feels the heat in his brother's body lower, his body relax, he knows he was right.

And he lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.]

I don't care. I would have wanted to. I love you. You're my brother, you were my best friend. I would have done anything for you.

[ Yeah, he's a liar. Dabi's entire persona is based on lies, on secrecy, on detaching from every single thing that could ever trace back to who he truly was. It wasn't hard when his anger had fueled every aspect of it, with Endeavor pushing him to his breaking point till there was nothing left but this.

When he was forced to leave, he knew he couldn't go back. He had fought tooth and nail, wanting to take the old man down even then. But his body had been left a wreck, and Endeavor had threatened him with hurting Shouto even more. When he saw his death labeled as a suicide, that was the final straw. He couldn't come back from that. He didn't have the strength.

He wants to tell Natsuo all of that, but he can't. Instead he just lets his brother hold him until the words of love and kindness, and conviction are just too much for him to bear. ]

I'm none of those things anymore.

[He pushes against Natsuo, needing to break free. This is suffocating. ]

I don't need your help. I'm better than I've ever been, can't you see?

You are.

[And then he remembers. The deaths, murders, his brother was connected to. He lets his brother break free and looks at him, seeing the broken man that their father had made.]

Niisan. You're still all those things. No matter what you've done. [Or plans on doing. This world of heroes needs to change, but the way Touya wants to go about it is wrong. Hurting people who are innocent is wrong. That belief is why he wants to be in the medical field.

So he puts a critical eye on those burns.]

I see a man who is in serious need of medical attention. Niisan, have you had those burns looked at all? You probably haven't been eating right at all for god knows how long. And those piercings probably need to be cleaned.

How stupid of you to think that.

[He says it, but there's a part of Dabi that's relieved. He knows he's done a lot of bad, a lot of wrong, and the thing of it is, he doesn't regret it. He knows this is the only reason he's alive anymore, and he won't apologize for it. He also though it was the end of everything he ever had with people he really did care about and love in another life. With his family.

He doesn't want love and family to mean a single damn thing to him anymore, but it does, really deep down under all the scars. ]

You think I don't know how to take care of myself? I've been alive, on my own out here for years, making my own way with whatever I had. I don't need the burns looked at. They're a part of me.

How stupid of you to think I wouldn't think that.

[He gives him a very unimpressed look.]

Surviving isn't living niisan. [He looked his brother in the eye.] They are. But that doesn't mean you can't be taking better care of yourself.

They hurt, don't they? At least get ointment. I have some. I always carry some on me for Shouto. In case Shouto overdoes it.

[In case their father reverts back to the monster he is and hurts their little brother.

As he pulls out the ointment from his school bag he lowers his voice.]

You shouldn't kill him. He belongs in a cage. That'd be more torture for him than anything physical you could do to him.

And don't hurt Shouto. I will never forgive you if you do.

Guess all this stupid runs in the family, huh?

[He doesn't mean to give himself any connection to them anymore, but it just comes out so naturally now that Natsuo knows. Maybe it also has to do with that unimpressed look, because Dabi knows it so well. Of course his brother never seriously directed it at him until now.

He knows surviving isn't living. He knows.]

I don't got a lot of choices, you know. Maybe I should introduce to the doctor the League goes to. We'll see if you encourage me to go let him check me out some more.

[Dabi snorts. He tries to ignore the concern in Natsuo's voice when he goes on about the scars, eying the thing he pulls out of his bag as if it's poison rather than something that'll help. What reason does Natsuo have to hurt him, though? He doesn't. He stood here talking to to him even when he only knew him as Dabi the villain.]

Overdoes it?? Don't you mean if Endeavor hurts him?

[Yeah, Dabi knows. Eventually he takes the ointment from his brother.]

No one will ever put him in a cage, Natsu. You know that. All these dirty heroes will defend him. He'll get away with it over and over again like he always did! Like he always does! He deserves to die. They all do.

[As for Shouto, though, that's always been a far more difficult thing.]

I told you. Tell him to stay out of my fucking way and nothing'll happen to him.

Edited 2020-03-26 00:39 (UTC)

You've got choices now. Don't let the stupid in our DNA get you killed.

[Not many, and really, the only real choices are to leave behind the League and the country, and the other is to flip on them and take a lesser prison sentence.

Or take the death penalty off the table.

And of course, there's him. His schooling.] I can help you.

[He gives a snort.]

Shouto's got stubborn in him. Like the rest of us. Sometimes he overdoes it. But... yes. In case of that too.

I can't believe they're all dirty. It makes more sense that they just don't know. You remember how isolated he kept us from each other. And the world. If we spoke out. Actually spoke out...

But Shouto doesn't want that.

I'm already fucking dead.

[He knows those are his choices. He won't leave the League or the country. He won't flip on them, and he sure as fuck isn't gonna get thrown in jail to rot there until they decide to kill him. He knows his only choice is to kill Endeavor and probably die right along with him. He's already made peace with dying a second time. He thinks about his own death every damn day.]

I just fucking told you I don't need your help.

[He considers throwing the ointment back in Natsuo's face, but that's not how he wants this to go. He hasn't had anyone take care of him for a very long time. He doesn't even know how to need it or want it anymore.]

Right. Yeah. I'm sure some of em know. Some of them are just like he is. Maybe even worse. No one will fucking listen to you, Natsuo.

Of course Shouto doesn't want that. He's brainwashed now too.

He's suffered just as much as you. [He hates this, hates having to protect his younger brother from his older, but he's going to make Touya promise to leave their brother alone.] Maybe they won't listen to me, and maybe that man will get away with everything he's done, but I'm going to try to make sure no other kids suffer as we did.

And he knows the difference between a good hero and bad, he's not going to be like Endeavor. He's going to go places. I'm going to help him.

[He holds out a hand] But I can help you too. Please, don't make me choose between the two of you.

[ Not even close to what Dabi suffered, but he's glad for it. It's not a contest he'd ever want to argue and there's nothing for him to be proud of. Shouto suffered enough, even though Dabi... Touya did whatever he good to keep that from happening. In the end, what does it matter though? He failed, and they're still here arguing about this. ]

Don't you think that's what I'm trying to do? What I've always fucking done? I'm trying to end this too!

[He yells. He doesn't want to hear about Heroes, and how much they'll thrive. It's the same people teaching them the same values, over and over again. There needs to be a new start. He knows the only way is burning it all to the ground.

Dabi looks down at the outstretched hand. He has the urge to grab it and set it all aflame. In the end, he's nothing but a villain, after all. No one but his own people are actually going to help him. ]

You don't have to choose between anything, Natsuo. Stay on his side.

Killing others isn't helping!

[He wants to shake Touya until his teeth clack, but he manages to keep that urge down. He lets out a frustrated growl and shoves his hands into his hair.]

No one's going to listen to you either! History shows that violent rebellions like the one you're trying to cause, or whatever the fuck you and the League of Villains are trying to do, never last. A generation later everything goes back to the status quo. And sometimes it's worse than what it was before.

Change, real, lasting change, happens slowly. I... goddamnit. [He swipes angrily at his eyes again.] You've made me cry twice in a half-hour, you asshole.

Yes it is! It's the only way they'll learn! No one will listen, no one will change until we burn it all to the ground!

[That's Dabi's absolute truth. It's been his mission since that very last time he saw any of them. Maybe even before that, when he used to look up at Endeavor while being pressed down by his boot, coughing and sputtering up blood and bile. All those dark thoughts sprouted even when he was supposed to be learning how to be hero.

In the end he was a failure. Endeavor made sure he knew he could never be one of them. Dabi knew that if Endeavor was a hero, if that's what they stood for, then he'd rather be a villain.]

The generation after wouldn't dare. Not when all their false heroes are torn down. You can defend him all you want, Natsuo, but deep down you know I'm right!

[Dabi knew this was a mistake. His own fault all over again. He watches Natsuo wipe at his eyes and suddenly he doesn't feel so much like Dabi anymore. This was all a huge mistake. He never should have contacted Natsuo. What's the point of all this added misery?]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't fucking strong enough. I tried to be, Natsu. I really tried to be. You don't have to worry about me anymore though, alright? Forget this ever happened. Touya is dead. I'm just the guy who's gonna kill your heroic dad. Keep an eye on Shouto. He'll probably be next after that.

No learns if they're dead! And the way you're killing people is just flashy and meaningless! It's not making them listen. It's making them afraid, and there's only so much fear people take before they push back.

[He puts his hands on Dabi's shoulders, eyes pleading through the tears.]

I'm not defending him. I'm defending Shouto. And they will dare. You're stupid if you think otherwise. Look at history. The French Revolutions are perfect examples of everything go straight back to how they were after the grand, violent revolution.

[He lets go. Wipes his eyes and then glares at him.]

You hurt him, and you'll be just like Endeavor. I hope you made peace with that.

[And that, is the greatest insult he would ever give at anyone.]

Flashy is what those fucks understand! They're the ones who turned this into a goddamn show! They should be afraid. For once in their fucking lives they should be the ones who are fucking afraid, not us!

[How many times were they the ones left afraid by a supposed hero? Their very existence is because their mother was forced into a meaningless, loveless relationship with a tyrant, just so he could breed his own kind, so Dabi doesn't want to hear shit about any of this being meaningless.

His eyes narrow hard when Natsuo's hands grab his shoulders. He wants to lash out and push him away, but he can't.]

At least we'll have damaged them enough where it matters. At least we'll have tried!

[He growls out, ready to rage on about his cause, and about all the false dirty heroes he's going to kill. But those words stop him in a way that nothing else ever could, stilling him completely. He hasn't made peace with that, because it's something he'd never think about. It's the greatest insult anyone could ever give.]

It's not the fucking same.

[It's not the same, but it doesn't matter. Deep down he absolutely knows Natsuo is right.]

You can't blame everyone for the actions of one man!

He's the root of all of this. And, yeah, if you get down to it, he's a product of everything wrong with our society, but taking it out on others is wrong!

[He sees when his insult hits. He feels tears swim in his eyes again, and he doesn't stop them from falling. But he won't apologize for it. Because Touya needs to see what he's doing is wrong. That it's worse than what their father did.]

Dabi... Touya. It's exactly the same. Shouto's getting his revenge on dad. He's going to be a better hero than he'll ever be. Because he loves more than he does. Despite everything our father put him through.

The best revenge is living well. Please. Come back to us.

But I can blame them for turning a blind eye. For putting him up on a pedestal. Do you really think he's the only one?! How many other dirty heroes are allowed to rise to the top without any consequence? You of all people should fucking know this. Everyone I'm taking it out on deserves it.

[ It hurts that Natsuo sees it differently. Dabi had always imagined that if anything, he would be the one on his side. Not telling him how he'd be just like Endeavor. That man took everything, ruined all of them, sent their mother away. Dabi can't just let that go. ]

Shouto isn't getting his revenge! He's making Endeavor proud! The last fucking thing any of us should ever do is make him proud. That's when you know you're truly doing something wrong. The best revenge is making him see what he's done.

You know that I can't come back to you.

what's your number?

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This was crack, what happened? XP

todoroki's can't be in the same room without angst is what happened! xD also this is great, ty!

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a sex meme, todoroki style lmao whoops xD

Keeping up with the Todoroki's

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