bakerstreet | The slowest burn is the most painful

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[meme] shipping

The slowest burn is the most painful

Arranged Marriage Turned More

To have and to hold, you said, till death do us part, all while the sharp, swinging pendulum of obligation hung overhead. But how could you have truly meant those words? This union has been tainted from the start, forever bearing the chains of an arranged marriage. It would be understandable if you couldn't bear to look at your new life partner, eternal reminder of your stolen future that they are, much less like them.
Much less love them...

Still, things can change.

You could realize that they are in the same boat as you or, that when compared to others around you,
they are the lesser of evils. Perhaps you even open up to the idea of a friendship; at the very least,
an alliance may be in order to become a power couple in a perilous world. From that innocent decision or sense of self-preservation, a new feelings sparks. Something like affection.

Something, you realize in the wake of speeding heartbeats, like love.

Will you acknowledge this? Can the two of you have a happily ever after - happier than if you'd met in another fashion - or will you hold firm in your distaste?

how to play.

- Everybody loves "couples forged by less-than-ideal circumstances" tropes!
- Comment with your character, prefs, all that good stuff.
- Reply to others.
- IDEC where you set your threads, it's wide open. Fantasy world with hairy hobbits, old-timey lands, future AUs, do a space marriage for all I care. I'm sure they're still getting married in Star Wars or whatever.

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Adam watches him quietly for a minute, smiling a little as he watches him in profile. Now that Ronan's no longer looking at him, it's easier for Adam to arrange his thoughts and feelings so that he can process them.

"I don't ignore you," he says, heart aching a little at how handsome his husband is. "I'm always acutely aware of you."

He laughs, soft and sad. His head shakes. "Aware of me so you can avoid me. It's like making sure you know where a hornet is so you don't get stung."

Ronan felt like he always felt around everyone. The snake in the room that everyone was stepping around. He had let himself become the rumors. And now, even here, he couldn't be anything different.

"I should sleep. Sorry about tonight." Sorry he tried. Every attempt had failed. Even just asking questions. Ronan was exhausted and he felt defeated. He curled up with his pillow and let his mind wander to the forest.

Adam smiles a little more, softened by how earnest and pure-hearted his husband was. He shifted closer, pressing a soft kiss to Ronan's neck and then curling up near him, only letting a single fingertip come in contact but still near enough to feel Ronan's warmth and to feel protected by the solid wall of his back.

"Goodnight, Adam." He mutters softly before drifting off to sleep. More than anything he wanted to find his hand and bring Adam's arm around him, but he didn't. He kept his hands to himself. After a few minutes he was asleep in the forest. The scent of rain and warmth covering him like a blanket. The Orphan Girl from his dreams sat at his side playing with a blade of long grass. She looked at him with her big eyes and handed him a crystal jar and in Latin said 'for his scars'.

Ronan woke up with the jar in his hands. The room was still dark and he could hear Adam breathing softly.

Adam slept easier than he had since he'd arrived, and he already slept better with Ronan in the room than he had before he'd come here. It was such a luxury to be able to sleep whole nights. He'd shifted closer in his sleep, one arm pressing against Ronan's back and a few stray locks of hair tickling at Ronan's skin.

Ronan finally came to from the dream. It always let him stuck, paralyzed when he first woke up. He could hear Adam's breathing and feel that he was closer, no longer just a single finger pressed into Ronan's tattooed skin. His long hair tickled Ronan's skin and he smiled softly to himself.

"You awake?" He asks softly in the dark.

Adam was a light sleeper, and he stirred when Ronan spoke, coming half awake and shifting slightly. "Mm," he murmured, taking a semi-conscious quick stock of the situation. Bed. Safe. Ronan. He moved his hand, brushing his knuckles briefly across Ronan's skin.

"I had a dream." He mumbles sleepily, turning toward Adam as he says it. On his side facing the other Ronan breathes deeply. He loves the way Adam smells after sleeping.

"Mm," Adam replies, too drowsy to reply coherently unless it's something important. The back against his arm shifts into a chest, and Adam splays his fingers across it, admiring the solidity of the muscles.

"Usually my dreams are nightmares." Ronan stills when he feels fingers splayed against his chest. He's afraid to move and spook him. Adam reminds him of a bird, ready to fly at the slightest sound or movement. "There was a girl and she brought me something for you."

"For me?" Adam notices how Ronan goes carefully still and it makes him smile. Tentatively playful, he circles a fingertip around Ronan's nipple, just to see whether he will be careful to stay still or if he will twitch. "What was it?"

"Yes. For you." He twitches, just a slight flex of the muscle under where Adam's finger is teasing. Ronan wants to do more. Wants to kiss him. Ask for more. Instead he takes a breath and stays very still, letting his new husband do as he pleases. "A salve. For your skin."

"That's very thoughtful of the girl in your dream. I do get dry skin." Adam's lips twitch as Ronan twitches, and he wonders if his husband is ticklish, and thinks again of how breathtaking he is. His fingers slide a little lower, exploring the muscles of Ronan's torso.

"I think it..." He wants to be honest, he doesn't want to fight. Ronan sighs softly, loving the way those fingers feel on his skin. "It's for scars and bruises. To make them disappear." To remove a reminder of being treated in a way no one should be treated.

"I probably should try it on the scars on my arms." The ones everyone thinks came from Ronan trying to kill himself. He shifted a little to give Adam a better view and a silent invitation to further his exploration.

"This dream salve?" Adam asks. He accepts the invitation, running his fingers along one of Ronan's arms, mapping out the array of scars there. He'd noticed them before, but hadn't drawn any conclusions. There were multiple possibilities.

He turns his hand and opens his fingers to reveal the small crystal jar. Ronan watches the way Adam touches him, still fighting his own desire to touch, to give Adam the freedom to do what he wanted. While he was a rough sort, had a reputation for violence, he could be submissive when it was needed. Adam needed that now. Ronan was happy to remain still for him.

"What are you thinking?"

Puzzled when Ronan opens his hand to reveal a jar, Adam takes it, opening the jar and sniffing at it. It smells like moonlight a forest glen filled with night-blooming flowers, and Adam's never smelled anything quite so soothing. He can almost believe Ronan's story about being given it in a dream. "I'm thinking that you're weird for waking me up in the middle of the night with a gift," he says, but he dips his fingers into the salve and then smooths it down Ronan's arm.

"In all fairness you were on my mind keeping me from really sleeping." Ronan looks at what Adam is doing, mesmerized by the way Adam's delicate fingers smooth the salve into his skin. Strong and elegant. It doesn't take long, a minute or two, and the angry scars start to look more flat and less discolored.

"You're a flirt," Adam accuses, but he's smiling. He's sleepy, and his hands slow and his attention drifts a bit as he smooths the salve into Ronan's skin, but he notices how the scars seem to fade, minimizing, and he sits up a little, thinking that he must have imagined it. He's tired.

"Effective stuff," he comments, putting the lid back on the jar and holding it for Ronan to take.

"So are you. Keep it up." He gestures to his chest and torso. "I like how you were touching me. Soothing." Ronan lifts his arm and examines the scars that are fast fading. "Can I try it on you?"

"What will I do without the rugged charm of my scars?" Adam asks, hiding his nerves behind the humor. "Seems a bit like lying." With the scars, at least it's clear on the outside that he's a broken thing.

"Do you have to carry this with you forever? It doesn't have to be who you are. Someone else did this to you." He wants to touch him so badly, especially now. But he holds back. "I think you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen. But, you don't think that. You can't see it. It's not a lie, it's letting yourself heal."

Adam's very surprised by the degree of Ronan's regard. He wouldn't have expected anyone to find him beautiful at all, ever. He studies Ronan's eyes, cheeks heating and heart fluttering at the honesty and regard he sees there. "You think I'm beautiful?"

"Of course I do. How could I not?" It wasn't just about looks. Ronan keeps watching him. "I've seen how you treat the people that help around here. Offer them drinks in the heat. Ask if they need anything to eat. Apologize for getting in their way. You smile and laugh only when you really mean it." Now it's his turn to blush. "Plus, yeah, you're fucking hot."

It still seems too impossibly fortunate that Adam's husband cares about him and wants to protect him. Wants to love him.

The blush is cute, and Ronan's words are moving, so Adam can't resist pressing a soft kiss to Ronan's cheek, tucking himself closer against Ronan's chest and curling a hand around the side of Ronan's neck to keep him close. "You're also fucking hot," he murmurs.

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