The slowest burn is the most painful

[reversesock]

Arranged Marriage Turned More To have and to hold, you said, till death do us part, all while the sharp, swinging pendulum of obligation hung overhead. But how could you have truly meant those words? This union has been tainted from the start, forever bearing the chains of an arranged marriage. It would be understandable if you couldn't bear to look at your new life partner, eternal reminder of your stolen future that they are, much less like them. Much less love them... Still, things can change. You could realize that they are in the same boat as you or, that when compared to others around you, they are the lesser of evils. Perhaps you even open up to the idea of a friendship; at the very least, an alliance may be in order to become a power couple in a perilous world. From that innocent decision or sense of self-preservation, a new feelings sparks. Something like affection. Something, you realize in the wake of speeding heartbeats, like love. Will you acknowledge this? Can the two of you have a happily ever after - happier than if you'd met in another fashion - or will you hold firm in your distaste? how to play. - Everybody loves "couples forged by less-than-ideal circumstances" tropes! - Comment with your character, prefs, all that good stuff. - Reply to others. - IDEC where you set your threads, it's wide open. Fantasy world with hairy hobbits, old-timey lands, future AUs, do a space marriage for all I care. I'm sure they're still getting married in Star Wars or whatever.

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[tenebrarius]

Ronan leaves the bed like he's fleeing from him, which Adam supposes is only fair. He did try to tell Ronan that he was unlovable, and now it's been proven.

Adam's fingers stray briefly over the warm spot on the bed where Ronan had been, and then he gets up and gets dressed, heading down to the kitchen to find breakfast.

[the_greywaren]

Ronan stays in the shower until the water starts to cool. Dressed in dark jeans and a black tank top he leaves the bathroom in search of food. Seeing Adam in the kitchen he stops in his tracks at the door. Ronan watches him for a moment before clearing his throat to announce his arrival. He wishes he could have snuck up behind him, slipped an arm around his waist and kissed him behind the ear. After every rejected attempt he isn't sure how to approach Adam. He's never had a relationship much less a husband.

"Is there coffee on?"

[tenebrarius]

Adam nods. He's standing near the coffee pot as he waits for his toast, so he reaches for another cup, pours, and sets it down on the counter for Ronan. "How's your hand?" he asks carefully, eyes lingering on Ronan. He wants so badly for this to be easy, but he's skittish as a wild horse, and as much as Adam wants to reach out for Ronan, he wants even more to shy away and hide.

[the_greywaren]

He takes the cup, breathes in the aroma and then takes a sip. "Not bad. Knuckles are a little swollen. Think I've done more damage against Declan's jaw." After another sip of coffee he sets it down. Ronan grabs a pan and a few eggs.

Quietly he sets to work on making eggs. "Heading out to the barn to check on the calf after I eat."

[tenebrarius]

"I've got work this afternoon," Adam tells him. He feels spooked and terrified of rejection, and it's hard to get over the conviction that he's unwanted, even despite what Ronan had said to the contrary. Surely even if Ronan had wanted him before, he doesn't want Adam now. "I'll be back after."

[the_greywaren]

"Work?" It seemed a ridiculous idea to Ronan. He was his husband now and Ronan was a very rich young man. Ronan sighs, disappointed. When he mentioned going out to the barn he thought maybe Adam would ask to go with him.

"Guess I'll just see you for dinner. Like usual." Where they would sit in silence ignoring the fact that they were married.

[tenebrarius]

"We could do something together this evening," Adam suggests, fidgeting with his coffee mug because he's not sure what to suggest or why Ronan would want to spend time with him. It makes him feel all the more determined to keep his job, especially given the way Ronan questions it. Work is something Adam's good at.

[the_greywaren]

"You don't have to work." Ronan says when Adam ignores his question.

The eggs slide from the pan to a plate. He takes another drink of coffee. "Or you could help me around the farm today."

[tenebrarius]

Adam bristles, hands tightening around his cup. "I already quit one of my jobs. I'll help you when I get back. I'll do better to contribute to chores around here. I don't need to quit my jobs for that."

[the_greywaren]

"I wasn't suggesting that you need to do chores as a contribution." His voice is gruff, irritated. "You don't have to earn your place here." He drops his plate of half eaten eggs into the sink.

"Just thought you might want to spend time together. Get to know me or something." And Ronan liked to work the farm. He loved to care for the animals. "Guess not. Have a great fucking day at work."

On his way to the door he looked back at Adam. "We have money. I don't want you working two jobs."

[tenebrarius]

Adam returns the look with a glare. "If my only option to get to know you is to quit my job, then no. I guess not. I'll see you tonight." Turning away from him, Adam starts washing out his coffee cup, then dries it and puts it away. He ignores Ronan's plate in the sink, but tidies away every crumb of his own presence, not wanting to leave more work for the servants.

[the_greywaren]

"This is what I do. I work the farm. I take care of all the fucking animals around this place." He is getting pissed by the second. "This place you don't like being, it is part of who I am."

The rejection from last night, several of them, still sting. Adam's response to any attempt he makes frustrates him. "Whatever. Fine. Go work yourself to death so you can avoid me. We'll just pretend last night never happened and get back to the usual bullshit. Got it."

The door opens and as he leaves he adds, "Thanks for making me think there was hope for us." He lets the door slam shut behind him and stalks out across the field.

[tenebrarius]

Adam's furious and hurt when he goes to work, and he tries to work harder than ever, wanting to exhaust himself and dreading having to go back home to his husband, who hates him.

He stays late at work to avoid going home and gets back around twilight. Sinking down to sit on the porch steps so he can put off going inside, Adam watches the farm in the evening. It's beautiful. Peaceful. He doesn't belong.

[the_greywaren]

Ronan's anger dissipates as the day wears on. It's hard, hot work and he loses himself in it. The only pauses in the back breaking work are to eat and drink throughout the day.

As the sun starts to sink he is trudging back across the field, passing the porch with a wheelbarrow. In it is a new salt lick for the heard of deer that come from the forest surrounding the farm. This is the best time of day to watch them. There is also a large bottle of milk. The new mother isn't producing enough milk yet for her calf and Ronan has been spending good chunks of the day feeding the newborn calf.

He spots Adam on the porch and slows down. "You can eat without me."

Ronan is surprised he even came back. Adam doesn't want to be here. Doesn't want Ronan. Why would he bother coming back? He feels completely defeated by what is going on in his personal life. He can't figure out how to make this work. His brother has no good advice, only suggestions that would get Ronan slapped. His father isn't much better. So he has given up.

[tenebrarius]

"Not really hungry," Adam says, though he's only had a candy bar since the toast he had for breakfast. Ronan seems to be heading somewhere on more work, so Adam gets up to go with him, since he'd promised to help out. He's starving, but he also feels scared and unsettled, and he doesn't want to fight with Ronan again. Last night he'd started to believe Ronan's assurances that he was safe here, but now he doesn't any longer. It's likely only a question of time or degree before Ronan loses his temper and hits him.

[the_greywaren]

Ronan doesn't trust that Adam has eaten. He's watched the way he eats and it's more like a scared bird than real eating. When he notices Adam is following he pauses. "There are sandwiches on the counter. Go grab a couple and something to drink. Meet me by the barn closest to the trees."

He lifts the handles on the wheelbarrow and heads out toward the trees and the lone barn in the distance.

[tenebrarius]

"I'll be fine," Adam insists, since he doesn't like being told what to do and he doesn't like revealing weakness. He keeps up with Ronan, stubborn. He can work. Even if Ronan decides he's useless for anything else. At least Adam can work.

[the_greywaren]

He sighs. Stopping again he lets the wheelbarrow drop. Looking at Adam he is serious. "I'm sure you didn't fucking eat all day. And I'm starving. Does it have to be a fight? Could you just stop trying to fight with me?"

[tenebrarius]

"Sure," Adam snaps, standing his ground with stubborn defensiveness. "Could you stop ordering me around and also stop treating me like shit whenever I don't immediately cooperate with your whims?"

[the_greywaren]

"Cooperate with my whims!?" Ronan snaps. "You work two jobs that you don't need and hardly eat. Like it or not, you are my husband. It's my fucking job to take care of you. Can I at least have that much? Can't you just let me do that?"

He throws his hands up in frustration, grabs the bottle from the wheelbarrow and storms off.

"Heaven fucking forbid I want to make sure he eats." Ronan is talking to himself as he marches off toward the barn. "Fuck. My whims? Really?"

[tenebrarius]

Adam rolls his eyes at Ronan storming off and muttering to himself. Heading back to the house, he goes to get some of the sandwiches from the counter and takes a couple of beers from the fridge, then returns to the barn to look for his husband.

[the_greywaren]

The barn is warm and softly lit. Ronan sits in one of the stalls, piled high with straw. A large, dark cow covered in longer, shaggy hair sleeps near him. Sitting on a stool he is petting the shaggy forehead of a much smaller version of the other cow as it suckles from the bottle Ronan holds.

He couldn't stay irritated as he watched the newly born animal drink. Ronan looked peaceful as he sang softly under his breath and the calf drank.

[tenebrarius]

Adam smiles as he walks up and hears the singing. It's sweet. Ronan has such a soft side when the two of them aren't quarreling. "If I dislocate two of your fingers will I get a lullaby, too?" he teases, leaning against the wall of the stall.

[the_greywaren]

"He didn't do that. Did you big guy?" He coos sweetly at the animal. "His mom did." Ronan glances back at Adam. "If it would help you relax around me...yeah, I'll sing to you."

[tenebrarius]

"No one's ever sung to me before. Seems worth a try." Adam takes a seat on the straw near him, on the side away from the animals, and starts eating his sandwich, holding the plate so that Ronan can reach the other one.