you'll like the way we meme (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
memeswearhouse) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2018-04-06 01:09 pm
memeswearhouse) wrote in bakerstreet2018-04-06 01:09 pm
Entry tags:
1) Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the lightsaber with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
2) She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her friend 3 hours earlier
3) Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
4) Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
5) Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
6) ( Text him! )
2) She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her friend 3 hours earlier
3) Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
4) Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
5) Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
6) ( Text him! )
1 - A magician never reveals his tricks.
2 - Because you just would have broken the lock again.
2 - Because you just would have broken the lock again.
1; I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
2; Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
3; His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
4; I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
5; [text him!]
2; Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
3; His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
4; I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
5; [text him!]
Why are you mentioning me? And why do I feel like this has to do with my Crucible days?
1; Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. I'm sitting right next you
2; Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
3; you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
4; There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
5; [text him!]
2; Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
3; you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
4; There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
5; [text him!]
Edited (html!!!) 2018-04-06 20:16 (UTC)
i. It's too late I already started a battle with someone named Luscious.
ii. Everywhere I look there's another Litten this is so ideal.
iii. what is TOTES MCGOATS in Alolan?
ii. Everywhere I look there's another Litten this is so ideal.
iii. what is TOTES MCGOATS in Alolan?
1. skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
2. My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
3. if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
4. I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
5. Text him!
2. My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
3. if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
4. I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
5. Text him!
1. You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
2. A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
3. I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting...
[or text him]
2. A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
3. I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting...
[or text him]
1. Houston, we have a problem. Houston is the problem. I don't know how I got here.
2. Why do they even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila adverts? Has anything responsible ever come from tequila? No. Never.
3. The only thing the cop asked me is "how are you still alive"?
4. [insert really sappy bullshit about how i care about you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
5. Text him!
2. Why do they even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila adverts? Has anything responsible ever come from tequila? No. Never.
3. The only thing the cop asked me is "how are you still alive"?
4. [insert really sappy bullshit about how i care about you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
5. Text him!
THE ONE PERSON HE'D BE MORTIFIED TO KNOW HE SENT THIS TO ONCE HE'S SOBER
inconstantly
- 2018-04-06 21:35 (UTC) - Expandshe has no idea if he's serious about any of this because it's john
chicartista
- 2018-04-06 22:20 (UTC) - Expand1; I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
2; Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
3; Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
4; I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing oral skills and the fact that children love me.
5; [text him!]
2; Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
3; Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
4; I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing oral skills and the fact that children love me.
5; [text him!]
Well I'm not going to disagree with the first statement. But what happens when the fun eventually stops?
1. looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw.
2. i keep forgetting i'm in texas, but then i look around at the people and remember.
3. who could blame her? i would run away from me if i could.
4. text him.
1. There's a difference between southern and inbred.
2. I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Men From Texas."
3. I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
4. Text her.
1. At one point I believe I was dispensing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
2. I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
3. Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
4. hey this is Strange, i have to type for them because they're convinced the tongs they're holding are their real hands
5. Text him!
2. I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
3. Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
4. hey this is Strange, i have to type for them because they're convinced the tongs they're holding are their real hands
5. Text him!
1. i just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab
2. if i get back to the house before you, i'm setting up the swing. if you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs
3. what do you mean he's "functionally heterosexual"
4. go have a frustration cry and get over it
5. conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features
2. if i get back to the house before you, i'm setting up the swing. if you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs
3. what do you mean he's "functionally heterosexual"
4. go have a frustration cry and get over it
5. conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features
The one with the easy tears was your other failed student. Tell us apart.
1. drink water, eat food, and stop stunning yourself
2. But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
3. What's my new rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
4. do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. thanks for playing.
5. wait so they unscrewed the refresher door to find you naked?
2. But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
3. What's my new rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
4. do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. thanks for playing.
5. wait so they unscrewed the refresher door to find you naked?
1. I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
2. I’d describe trivia night as “excessively violent”.
3. I’m just utterly amazed that we’re still alive at this point.
4. I have seen more male genitalia at this party than I ever want to see in my entire life.
5. Text him?
2. I’d describe trivia night as “excessively violent”.
3. I’m just utterly amazed that we’re still alive at this point.
4. I have seen more male genitalia at this party than I ever want to see in my entire life.
5. Text him?
1. Aunt May just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
2. When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
3. my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
4. rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
5. Text him!
2. When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
3. my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
4. rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
5. Text him!
1. You crawled into bed with him and started whispering about produce.
2. I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed.
3. Have you seen Sirius? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
4. Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
5. For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
2. I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed.
3. Have you seen Sirius? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
4. Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
5. For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
( Aged up to 18+! )
i. I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
ii. He unofficially told me he deleted his Tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018 ...
iii. Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. I can't deal with this right now.
iv. Where am I? And why did you leave me here?
v. Or text him!
You'll have to be more specific.
I leave a lot of people a lot of places.
I leave a lot of people a lot of places.
1. WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS ALSO WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
2. Fuck that guy
and his bad haircut
and his awesome dick
3. I’m not sure what happened but I may need help faking my own death.
4. Text him.
2. Fuck that guy
and his bad haircut
and his awesome dick
3. I’m not sure what happened but I may need help faking my own death.
4. Text him.
i. Just assessed the damage in the bath. Three love bites. Two bruises on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what I'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you.
ii. I want to conceive our bastard child on a warship. Why can't we make this happen?
iii. Well, if I’m not getting sex or sleep then I’m not interested.
iv. There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on.
v. Or text her!
1. Girls night always turns into let's separate and get laid night.
2. Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
3. He corrected my spelling during sexting.
4. Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
5. If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch then the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
2. Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
3. He corrected my spelling during sexting.
4. Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
5. If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch then the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Like I said, basically the same as my DnD night?
I think NO is always what you feel, unless you are with Grandpa or your Stoneface friend.
1. please disregard that last text! and don't open the attachment! just... never mind!!
2. i don't know why, but it was shocking! i think that's the first time i've gotten a love note since 2nd grade.
3. i meeean... whether or not it was a compromising position, it's not like that's the right time to just yell 'let go!'
4. hmmm, i consider myself pro-amateur level for food appreciation, but i question whether it's possible to eat THAT MUCH cake in just one day.
2. i don't know why, but it was shocking! i think that's the first time i've gotten a love note since 2nd grade.
3. i meeean... whether or not it was a compromising position, it's not like that's the right time to just yell 'let go!'
4. hmmm, i consider myself pro-amateur level for food appreciation, but i question whether it's possible to eat THAT MUCH cake in just one day.
1. Just got thrown out of the meeting for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
2. By the way, how *did* you break into my room? And why'd you decide that covering the ant farm with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
3. Where am I, and did you just leave me here?
4. Have you ever wanted to murder the sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Birds are banned now.
2. By the way, how *did* you break into my room? And why'd you decide that covering the ant farm with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
3. Where am I, and did you just leave me here?
4. Have you ever wanted to murder the sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Birds are banned now.
No.
I want to murder it because it is loud and annoying and won't get off my back about extra practice.
Your reasons are good too, though.
[Maybe he should explain one of his teammates is named after the sun? Nah.]
I want to murder it because it is loud and annoying and won't get off my back about extra practice.
Your reasons are good too, though.
[Maybe he should explain one of his teammates is named after the sun? Nah.]
1. Well A) stay calm B) stay safe C) drink more
2. We are back but I'm playing stairway to heaven in the TARDIS. Nardole is air drums. Bill is singing. Be back when we're done.
3. I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
4. i’m blowing bubbles in my scotch so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
5. Text him!
Page 1 of 10