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bakerstreet2017-03-28 10:29 pm
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Entry tags:
Baggage
![]() THE sexual baggage MEME The media paints a beautiful picture of sex as the most important, most important thing in life. There could be a glimmer of truth in that; sex can be good, wonderful even. But not everyone is fortunate enough to have the best relationship with physical intimacy. You can relate, can't you? Sex is something you're not always so sure about. It's not because of the person you're with, not really, but the act itself brings up unfortunate baggage. There's parts of your body or old injuries you're not too proud of or don't want to think about. You don't like people touching you. You've always been taught that sex was dirty, unclean. In your past, events or traumas occurred that make you less than thrilled to present any kind of vulnerability. Whatever the case may be, sexual intimacy opens a whole Pandora's Box for you. But you're with someone, someone you may even love, and you want to be with them. You want to try and do this for them and, in the end, for yourself. Of course, it will be easier said than done, and you'll need the full cooperation of that partner. Or maybe you are that partner, trying to understand how to make your lover comfortable. Whatever the case, you may have your work cut out for you - yet if you're truly willing to understand each other, the results can be more than worth it. If they're not? That's all right, too. Everyone has to move at their own pace. HOW TO PLAY
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yey .w.
"...I did. And I never quite stopped-- turning about. Like you might just-- be there standing next to me."
But that's not what this moment is about. That's an entirely different conversation.
"I... I dreamed about you. Now and then."
<3
There's the carefullest of shifts to bump his nose against Horatio's as his fingers continue to brush lightly against the other young man.
"Like-- what?"
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It's embarrassing. It's the sort of thing that's meant to feel shameful.
It's hard to actually feel properly ashamed when they're alone.
Horatio's smile is a hesitant, flitting thing. He can't rid himself of the flush spreading across his cheeks and down his neck, but he can keep talking.
"It was mostly-- nothing in particular. Just-- bits and pieces of-- time together. And then-- sometimes things I'd-- wished we could do. Times I'd wished you'd been with us. Some--" His breath comes faintly shakier. "--sometimes I'd... dream about something like-- this. Being... being close."
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(This feels much safer. That's why it's easier to say what he does next.)
"--Show me, maybe?"
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"O-- Okay."
His fingers are incredibly careful as they find their way back to Archie's hips. His nose brushes against Archie's more deliberately, lips ghosting in close against the other young man's.
"There's... A lot of it was..."
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"--Yeah--?"
It's part encouragement, part gentle consent.
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Kissing is familiar now, in this dark little cell. His hands stay in place as he lingers against a few soft kisses.
His breath is shaky as anything when he pulls back to trail his lips over Archie's cheek and jaw instead. "And... and i-imagining what you.. would taste like. If I could-- kiss e-every inch of you."
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"'ve-- wondered about that, too," he murmurs softly.
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This is a good place to start, then. Horatio can't help being careful as he drags his lips across Archie's neck, but it's thrilling to know they've both been imagining it.
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"Really, 'ratio," he murmurs, obvious contentment in his voice.
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Horatio can't help feeling, all the same, that he'd give anything in the world just to feel Archie's pleased sigh vibrating up against his lips just like this--that he wouldn't stay here the rest of his life for just another second of it.
"And..." Another few kisses will help. Another delicate dip of his lips against Archie's throat will help. "...a-and about... touching you. Touching..."
His fingers twitch but barely manage to move from Archie's hips.
"...t-touching all of you."
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It's definitely a happy sound, if a somewhat surprised one. That has Archie's fingers drifting to squeeze lightly at Horatio's waist.
"I-- want you to." A careful shift of his head to press a light kiss against Horatio without dislodging him from the comfortable place against his neck, "I've-- wanted you to. 'nd to-- do the same back."
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Dreaming is one thing; being here is entirely something else.
"A-Archie..."
His fingers shift carefully, ghosting up over Archie's ribs. Moving in the other direction feels as terrifying as it is thrilling.
"You... You do?"
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And there's the softest little laugh and squirming, as Horatio's fingers drift. It's nice, to be able to laugh in this cell. To be able to laugh while drifting towards what they are.
"Maybe not-- doing quite everything, yet." He's not ready for that, and he imagines Horatio isn't, either, "But-- I want you. We can--- There's some things we-- can do."
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"You're-- sure?"
Could either of them really be? Could Archie truly be?
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"I am, 'f-- you are," he says softly, "Just-- we'll go slow, nn?"
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They could move slowly. He could keep talking. They could find their way through the panic sitting in each of their guts to something that might begin to feel right--to feel like theirs.
His fingers tremble as they slide down to Archie's hips again, breath still uncertain. "Slow."
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His voice is soft as he shifts very carefully to press a light kiss against Horatio's cheek.
"You should be-- sure, too, mm? 's not-- just about me."
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"It's-- a bit about you, though."
The thoughts are a little easier when they're whispered out close to Archie's lips. The nerves are a little less when he can practically feel Archie's smile.
"This is-- I want this with-- you."
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"And I-- want it with you, too." Which is important to affirm, "So as-- long as you're-- sure about what we do, mm? We can-- keep checking in, maybe."
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Of course it's better--safer, happier, more--with Archie.
"Checking in?"
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A brief, affectionate bump of noses.
"Like-- how you've been doing." How they've both been, really, "Th'-- asking. Making sure, y'know?"
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They can keep doing this. They can keep fumbling exactly like this. If Archie's happy enough, they'll find their way.
"Can... Can I touch...?"
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"W-Where'd y'like?"
He's already blushing at the thought.
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One hand slips cautiously from Archie's hip along the top of his trousers, hesitant and questioning.
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