bakerstreet | Baggage

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Baggage

THE sexual baggage MEME

The media paints a beautiful picture of sex as the most important, most important thing in life. There could be a glimmer of truth in that; sex can be good, wonderful even. But not everyone is fortunate enough to have the best relationship with physical intimacy. You can relate, can't you? Sex is something you're not always so sure about. It's not because of the person you're with, not really, but the act itself brings up unfortunate baggage. There's parts of your body or old injuries you're not too proud of or don't want to think about. You don't like people touching you. You've always been taught that sex was dirty, unclean. In your past, events or traumas occurred that make you less than thrilled to present any kind of vulnerability. Whatever the case may be, sexual intimacy opens a whole Pandora's Box for you.

But you're with someone, someone you may even love, and you want to be with them. You want to try and do this for them and, in the end, for yourself. Of course, it will be easier said than done, and you'll need the full cooperation of that partner. Or maybe you are that partner, trying to understand how to make your lover comfortable. Whatever the case, you may have your work cut out for you - yet if you're truly willing to understand each other, the results can be more than worth it. If they're not? That's all right, too. Everyone has to move at their own pace.

HOW TO PLAY

Comment with your character and preferences.
Mention if your character is the person with the hangups or their hopefully supportive lover.
If they're the former, feel free to mention what your character's issues may be.
Needless to say, this meme may be triggering.

Also include if you'd prefer this attempt to fail, succeed, or either.
Reply to others.

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[The one with issues, namely inexperience and her father's blinders.]

(M/F and with baggage due to in canon abusive prior relationship)

[[ooc: has had a very bad relationship in early university, and has had prior experience with torture. The really hardcore kinky stuff is going to be triggering, even if he's willing to experiment. There's also scars he's embarrassed over, so ... take caution.]]

[hung the heck up]

[This can go so many ways which way do you want it to go]

[if you're feeling something for Archie go for it but my dumb impulses would be gettin' it on in Ferrol 2.0 with mutual freaking out/comforting ooooor sort of '???' in space navy]

The kisses have been fairly frequent things since returning back to prison. The touches have come slowly; careful caresses, shifts of bodies against one another.

The passion, frankly, has had its time to build. The passion is getting them both a little bit carried away, tonight.

For all it's just a touch lined with something desperate, it honestly is a testament to his trust in Horatio that he only pulls back slightly and doesn't try to shove him away completely.

It means he trust him to actually stop, when Archie gasps out a soft, "Wait--"

He doesn't let go, entirely, even then. He lets one hand rest a little unsteadily on Horatio's shoulder as he fights to shove the panic into a corner.

"Just-- just give me a second."

Usually, they behave themselves. Usually, the kissing ends when things start to feel too close to overwhelming; when they can both clamp down and breathe hard and relax toward sleep. It's always enough. It always has Horatio's heart thudding with genuine elation while they settle back down.

Getting overwhelmed is new. Getting to the point of actually touching--of needing in a different way--is thrilling and terrifying all on its own.

And then Archie asks him to wait.

Guilt floods in with barely a heartbeat. His hands are pulled back almost before the word is finished, breath gulped unhappily. He's pushed too far. He's gone beyond what he should. He's turned into--

Squeezing his eyes shut helps bring him back into himself. "--sorry. Sorry, Archie."

"'s-- 's all right."

And, despite the tremble in his voice, it does seem to be. He's not shutting down. He's just catching his breath.

"I just-- It's hard, in the dark."

Easier to forget who, exactly, he's with.

"--oh."

Honest has always been easy between them, before. Honest is oddly easier now that they've fought their way through to each other again. His fingers had been honest--too honest--the way their lips had learned to be honest.

And Archie's being honest now. It's important to focus on the fact that Archie isn't shoving him off, isn't scrambling away. Archie's breathing. Archie's panic looks, as much as he can see in the semi-darkness, more distant than the moment at hand.

Horatio folds his own arms across his own gut all the same, holding himself back as firmly as he knows how.

"We don't-- If it's too much, Archie, we can-- not."

"I-- want to, though."

There's something a little plaintive to his voice as he says it. There's certainly some self-directed frustration on his face, as well. His fingers squeeze just a little at Horatio's arm, assuringly.

"I w-want to, with you."

It would be such a relief to smooth Archie's cheek. It would be amazingly reassuring to smooth at Archie's hair.

He can't pull back from himself, although his eyes do hesitantly seek Archie's again.

"...are... are-- you sure?"

His other hand lifts tentatively, ghosting briefly over Horatio's cheek as he nods.

"'m sure. Honest, Horatio."

He wants. It's such a terrifying and freeing thing, all at once.

This gentle assurance helps. This certainty in Archie's entire being--despite the panic, despite the breathlessness--seems infinitely genuine.

"...o-okay."

His arms start to untangle just slightly from around his own waist. It still feels impossible to actually reach out and touch the other young man again.

"Y-yeah. It-- is."

Or it's getting to be, at least. His hand drifts down Horatio's arm to catch lightly at the other young man's hand and start to guide it towards his torso again.

"Just-- maybe y'could-- talk a bit, or something? So I-- really know it's you?"

The flush is more from embarrassment and frustration, but he's a little proud of himself for asking, regardless.

"--talk?"

His fingers twitch before settling carefully against Archie again. His breath comes uncomfortably shallow for a moment.

"What-- What should I-- say?"

"I-- dunno," he admits, a little ruefully.

"Just-- anything. What y'r thinking, maybe? Something-- something really-- you."

Something that couldn't possibly be the ghost still in the room with them.

His fingers flex and settle, a helpless gesture like a shrug as his breath puffs out of his chest.

"I'm just-- thinking about you, Archie."

That's a start, at any rate. That's worth trying while the cell stays dark enough to feel half-safe.

"About... about you, here and-- now, but... but also about you-- leaning on the rail of the Indy. The way you-- smile down at your Shakespeare and-- and laugh when Oldroyd remembers some-- scrap of it wrong."

Edited 2017-04-02 00:03 (UTC)

His hand stays resting comfortably atop Horatio's for a few moments; thumb brushing unconsciously against the back of Horatio's hand. He's clearly focusing on the other young man as he speaks; listening to probably absorb both the words and the simple fact it's Horatio.

When that feels a little more real, he'll let his hand finally set free the other young man's to drift back up to Horatio's shoulder and back again.

"I'd forgotten about that," he murmurs softly, "Did y'-- think of me often, then?"

The delicate brush of Archie's fingers sets Horatio's heart pounding all over again. A deep breath helps keep his voice a touch steadier.

"...I did. And I never quite stopped-- turning about. Like you might just-- be there standing next to me."

But that's not what this moment is about. That's an entirely different conversation.

"I... I dreamed about you. Now and then."

"Oh?"

There's the carefullest of shifts to bump his nose against Horatio's as his fingers continue to brush lightly against the other young man.

"Like-- what?"

"It's--"

It's embarrassing. It's the sort of thing that's meant to feel shameful.

It's hard to actually feel properly ashamed when they're alone.

Horatio's smile is a hesitant, flitting thing. He can't rid himself of the flush spreading across his cheeks and down his neck, but he can keep talking.

"It was mostly-- nothing in particular. Just-- bits and pieces of-- time together. And then-- sometimes things I'd-- wished we could do. Times I'd wished you'd been with us. Some--" His breath comes faintly shakier. "--sometimes I'd... dream about something like-- this. Being... being close."

That blush feels nice. It has Archie bumping his nose against Horatio's again.

(This feels much safer. That's why it's easier to say what he does next.)

"--Show me, maybe?"

[ooc: Inexperience, mainly.]

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Angel | Borderlands | OTA

Kristen Kringle l Gotham

Sherlock Holmes || Sherlock BBC || m/m

Horatio Hornblower | Hornblower Saga

/crashlands into this here meme

/drags into blanketburrito

/attempts Ferrol 2.0 lmk if this works

I love??

ohgood

I cry but I love ; ;

same tho ; ;

/offers blanket for burrito

/tucks us both in the blanket

/foreverrr

<3333

<3!!

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...lmk if this needs changing; i can't remember if this was a thread or a dream I had :|a

i have no memory of this place but it's adorable i'm keeping it

yey .w.

<3

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