dousing: (Default)
memery. ([personal profile] dousing) wrote in [community profile] bakerstreet2016-11-26 04:37 pm

HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?


WHAT IF THEY HAD LIVED? MEME


We're not going to have a ton of prompts today, folks. However, we are going to have this. Say your character or someone close to your character dies in canon. Perhaps they die young, perhaps they're a big damn hero, perhaps they're a slithery villain that SHOULD be dead. What would happen if they didn't? How would the world change? This is your place to explore that kind of AU! Did the death situation never happen? Did they perhaps escape by the skin of their teeth? Did something (or someone) save them? How does the bright and shining (or dark and ominous) future pan out for them?

• Top level your character. If you like, you can explain any world changes you might want made. If not, you can hash it out with your future partners.
• Reply to other's top levels!
• Have fun! Mark any spoilers for anything that's been recently released, please!

handead: (If you don't want to die.)

[personal profile] handead 2016-11-28 06:45 pm (UTC)(link)
So, this is the truth.

[He laughs, spreading his hands but they both know from the sharpeness of his smile that the man now called Servant is angry.]

She made you believe you weren't who you are? Breaking us and putting hope away in a box....I guess you weren't really our hope after all!

[He laughs, the chain jangling with every movement he makes. His right hand slams down on the table between them, his bright feverish gaze locked on hers.]

Well let's have it! You contacted me out of all of us for a reason! Tell me what the Future Foundation secret branch head wants of a simple man like me!
partyleader: <lj user=moes> (KjVvB1G)

Goes without saying probably but oh baby DR3 spoilers

[personal profile] partyleader 2016-11-30 06:13 am (UTC)(link)
[The words cut at her. He has to know this. Doesn't he?

Nanami hadn't even remembered until recently, but... She does now. She remembers him looking for Tsumiki with her in the rain, getting shot, carrying him back and praying he would be okay. She remembers the dark of the maze, thoughts of her classmates moving through her head and pushing her forward, and wishing that she'd done better by Komaeda.

She looks at him now, and wonders if maybe she had, then...]


Komaeda-kun. [Nanami is a branch head now. She doesn't want her voice to tremble, or sound so sad. It does anyway.] There's no point in bringing that up right now. [No need to go into how it's her fault that her classmates became something that their true selves would despise, while she's walked away perfectly fine. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-] It can be discussed at a later time.

I'm sure you're aware that Future Foundation has been hunting down the Remnants of Despair. [It makes her feel gross, calling them that and not her classmates like she wants to. But she has to be the Thirteenth Branch Head Nanami Chiaki. Not the Super High School Level Gamer.] We've wanted to capture you for a long time. Kill all of you, if possible. [That had been her too until recently, and sick, it makes her feel sick-] But I don't want that. Because you all are... Even like this, you're the classmates that I love. [And there, she can be Nanami Chiaki the girl and not the person of power. The one who loves them, who will do anything for them.

Who will die for them.]


I contacted you because you once valued hope higher than anything. I definitely could be wrong, but I think some of that person is still in you.

The reason is that I have a proposal. [Nanami has talked to Kamukura, even though she thinks he's hiding something. She's had the discussions with Naegi Makoto. She's made sure they will not be overheard.] The Future Foundation will catch all of you. But I want to offer you, the one who the others will listen to, a way to survive. [The way they used to listen to her.]

To not just avoid the execution... but to turn your despair into hope.
handead: (But that place was rotten to the core.)

DR3 spoilers

[personal profile] handead 2016-11-30 06:39 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, is that all? [He leans forward, his lashes lower as his voice drops to a whisper.] Yes, they listen to me. They all bow down to my word like marionettes. At my word they would all die.

[A cold, satisified smile spreads across his face. He retreats, the chain barely making any noise as he sinks into the chair in the far side.] There's no point to their deaths right now. There's not enough in place to make it yield hope. But let's be honest with ourselves.

[One leg is crossed over the other as he examines the nails of right hand. His gaze might be on his hand but he is ready to react should this go south. It would go south if he had anything to say about it.] You contacted me because I'm the weakest and too weak to kill you. But! [His laughter is like broken tiles hitting the ground as he holds up a finger.] I am listening! After all you came to me. So share this plan of yours and I'll decide if I'll be convinced to persuade the lot of them to return to our class representative.

[Kamukura has already approached him but, watching her struggle will tell him a lot.]
partyleader: <lj user=moes> (aWV4HRD)

DR3 spoilers

[personal profile] partyleader 2016-11-30 07:56 am (UTC)(link)
[Glass, cutting into her and burrowing down in her heart. That's what his words feel like. A profound sadness flashes through her. An acceptance of the fact that it will never get better. Not unless she can convince him to do this.]

That wasn't my reason for contacting you. [She misses him. It's a sharp and painful realization, but she does. Nanami didn't know what she had until it was gone.] But I know I can't convince you of that. [Because he'll never accept it. Not in this state.

But she can't falter. She has to fight. For the Komaeda that's trapped inside of this one, she has to fight.]


My offer to you may sound a little unorthodox, but it's not complicated when it's boiled down to its plain facts. [It still feels weird talking like this, now that she has her memories back. But she hasn't had the time to reconcile the memories of the person who she was with the person she became without them. She's still Nanami, but... It isn't the same. She wonders what the Komaeda she used to know would think of her now.] You and the others would be taken into custody. Instead of being executed, an associate of mine and I would intervene and bring you to a secure location. There, we would implement a certain program...

It may sound implausible, but this is a therapeutic program that would insert you into a virtual world, mentally bringing you back to a time before your despair. You would lose all memory of your time as Remnants of Despair. The process will heal you and undo any mental trauma that you've undergone in the past two years.
handead: (I am everyone's servant hahahaha...)

Dr3 spoilers

[personal profile] handead 2016-11-30 11:59 pm (UTC)(link)
So I would go back to that pathetic shame filled idiot that chased after people who didn't want him around.

[The truth is like a knife and he knows how to wield it. He taps his lips with a finger, his eyes on the ceiling. There's a kind of serenity to how he feels about all this. If it didn't lead to hope...they could become the kind of Despair that would devour the world until a shining hope stepped up to cleanse everything...

His eyes are dark, but they fix on her.]


Hope is on the side of the weak...and a far better man has been quite persuasive in getting me to come here.

[Servant turns his full attention back on her and laughs, that same dry rattling sound that made him such a terror when he faced off against foundation grunts.]

I accept and I'll get them here for you. They tell me everything they're doing these days. [Like a cat flexing his claws he drapes himself over the table on his side.]

The moment they hear it's for you they'll drop everything. Like moths to the flame. Hahahaha, that isn't such an inaccurate statement either! Since this version of us, will cease breathing the moment we fall into the VR.

[He throws his head back and laughs, his whole body shaking with it.] But that doesn't matter! We do what must for the sake of hope. Isn't that right, class representative?
Edited 2016-12-01 00:07 (UTC)
partyleader: <lj user=moes> (50ocdHG)

DR3 spoilers

[personal profile] partyleader 2016-12-23 12:12 pm (UTC)(link)
[She had tried to prepare herself for how damaging this encounter could be, but she's reminded moment after moment that nothing could have really equipped her to handle what she's been confronted with. Nanami feels it in the heaviness that drags at her chest with each inhale; in the near constant stinging in the backs of her eyes. There is no reprieve from this, and no mercy.

Komaeda wants her to hurt. And she's feeling every little bit of it.]


Of course we do, Komaeda-kun. I will take responsibility for all of your lives.

[It's okay. She's good at hurting herself now, too.

The words will dig into her and make her guiltily question what she's done, but... If she has to kill this Komaeda to save the other, then so be it. She has blood on her hands by now anyway. The old her, the one who would never have hurt anyone, would be brought to tears over it. Maybe she still will be, but that will be for the privacy of her room when it won't matter which "her" is on display.]


I suppose that settles it, then. I'm grateful for your cooperation. As soon as we leave, I'll be sure to inform my associate that we can start putting the final things in motion. And I can inform the man you've spoken with previously that he can keep an eye on all of you, in case anything unexpected comes up and we all need to get in touch with each other.

[Nanami pauses, briefly. Something quiet and sentimental is stirring in her. His phrasing from before, his initial response to her proposal... She's been trying to ignore it, but it struck a cord in her.

Surely he'll make it into something cruel, or not hear her the way the old Komaeda would have... But the words are rising up to fall out of Nanami's mouth before she can yank them back.]


I... probably shouldn't say this, but... I never minded you being around. Sometimes the things you did and said would confuse or upset me, like everyone else... But it never made me think that I didn't want you around. A lot of the time you were really kind.

[She thinks of Komaeda pointing the gun at Enoshima, and how it was so scary. But that was just a part of who he was, wasn't it? Even if he did scary things, surely that didn't eliminate him being kind?]

...I'm sorry I never showed it. I'm still so bad at showing it, even right now. Just when I was trying to learn how to show others I cared... all of this happened. And it means little now to apologize, even if it did matter to you anymore, but I still wanted you to know that I'm sorry.

[She doesn't realize the tear is rolling down her cheek until it drips off her chin, but it's fine. As he is, all of her sentiments will be twisted around to cause her pain. Most if not all of their business has been transacted, so it doesn't really matter if he hurts her now. It's fine.]

When you wake up from the program... If you don't remember this, I'll tell you again. I don't expect forgiveness, or even really want it. I just wanted you to know. [She manages a smile through her tears.] It's okay if you hate me. Even if I have to just watch from afar after you wake up... I'll never leave you alone again.
handead: (The fallen.)

DR3 spoilers

[personal profile] handead 2016-12-23 05:40 pm (UTC)(link)
[Except...he doesn't say anything. Servant drops his gaze to the table, his hands still. This is everything he had wanted to hear. It's not for him and it never will be. He the broken model will be cast aside. There's no despair greater than this moment.

Well, he knows what to do to make this worse for himself. He rises from the chair and comes around the table. Komaeda brushes her tears away, whispering for just her.]


What is there to forgive? You were nicer to me than the rest of them. ...you actually greeted me when I returned. ...all I ever wanted was to see you again.

...On the eve of my death, remember that. Make sure he's part of the group too and I'll lay down this wretched life of mine and let him walk on in my place.

[He cups the side of her face with his own hand.] Nanami-san.

...

[The despair is so deep. He can feel it like as if he's drowning in the blissful feeling.] Thank you.
partyleader: <lj user=moes> (iBSULko)

DR3 spoilers

[personal profile] partyleader 2017-01-04 06:42 am (UTC)(link)
[The hand on her face is so soft, so gentle, and it only makes more tears spill over.

Because that feels like Komaeda, her Komaeda, and... Nanami can barely push words out of her constricting throat.]


...I'm sorry, Komaeda-kun. I don't... Not even as you are now, filled with despair... I don't want this Komaeda-kun to pass away. But I have to - to bring him back and protect him, I have to.

[She shuts her eyes. Komaeda could hurt her if he really wanted to, Nanami knows he has the skill to do it now... But she can't help but lean into his touch.

Nanami wants everyone back again. No one has hugged her or held her in years, and... And she's just...

Nanami is just so lonely. She doesn't want to be the Branch Head anymore. She just wants everyone back.]


...I've missed you so much. I wish I'd spent more time with you, when it mattered the most... Whether you're filled with despair or filled with hope, I don't deserve your forgiveness.

[Her eyes flutter open, wet but hopeful. The despair hangs heavy in the room, but Nanami doesn't think she's ever felt hope this strongly in her whole life.]

But I swear I'll do better by you this time. I won't let you be treated as you were before. Whatever I have to do, I'll make sure that you're included the way you should've been...

I'll fight for your future. [Nanami almost holds herself back from the action, but then she reaches up to lay her hand over his.] I promise.
handead: (Who me?)

Dr3 spoilers

[personal profile] handead 2017-01-04 07:08 am (UTC)(link)
[His breath catches and for a second he can breathe again. It's always like this the push and pull of despair and hope as they war inside him. There are those moments he can almost feel like him then the chains, her voice pulls him right back down.

It always hurts for just a moment. He brushes his thumb along her cheek, murmuring softly.]


What is this? I had no idea you felt like this for me. I always thought Kuzuryuu-kun suited your flights of fancy...

[His heart is thudding so fast. Maybe he'd die right here before she could save him. Wouldn't that be so despairing. He'll forget it all. He steps closer, sliding his hand down her back and pulling her close. He smells like blood and death, yet he holds her gently, favoring his right arm.

His fingers slide into her hair as his voice, low and gentle a shadow of the one she remembers, is the only sound in the quiet.]


But it was me all along. It's a bit like a story, don't you think so? The dying man and the star of the class.

[It's funny to reference how the disease is twisting him, destroying him. She'll probably take it some other way.]

I wonder what will happen next?
partyleader: <lj user=moes> (LotcWB6)

Dr3 spoilers

[personal profile] partyleader 2017-01-04 08:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Komaeda-kun, I-

[But she can't, can't do this, so she buries her face against his chest to hide the redness of her face and the shaking of her whole body.

She's so bad at things like this, even now. Nanami is almost absolutely certain she knows what he's implying, but it's... It's so difficult for her to process her feelings. If anything, she'd thought that maybe towards Hinata, she...

No. Nanami won't think about that right now. It's already so hard to hope for just Komaeda...

But she's always been fond of Komaeda, hasn't she? Is that why her heart's pounding so fast? This is going nothing like how Nanami had predicted...]


I-I'm sorry. I'm really bad at... at this sort of thing. [She can't bring herself to say it, still. But she lifts her head to look at him now.] Dating sims used to be the hardest game for me, you know? [And instead, Nanami lets that say everything she can't bring herself to.] But... I've always cared for you. You're important to me, Komaeda-kun.

I... don't know what happens next, from here. All I know is that I won't let anything harm you or the rest of our class.
handead: (I had to balance the game...)

Dr3 spoilers

[personal profile] handead 2017-01-06 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
[One could argue they had already been hurt and she'd been the axis from which it revolved. He doesn't say it as he cards his fingers through her hair. Even letting her this close, admitting he felt anything was stabbing himself with sharp knives.]

I suppose I should let go of you so we can get to business then? Unless you had other ideas.

[He leaves that sentence purposefully sounding suggestive as he dips his head, pressing his face into her hair. She's so small. He could carry her anywhere.]

After all I assume you have a plan for what you plan to do with your classmates. Or you wouldn't have called for me to implement the next phase.
partyleader: <lj user=moes> (iREVloH)

Dr3 spoilers

[personal profile] partyleader 2017-01-27 06:43 am (UTC)(link)
[Her breath catches in her throat, sharp and painful. Nanami is frozen as she stands there, because surely Komaeda can't mean anything like that, but... What is she supposed to think? How is she supposed to respond to this?

He's not the Komaeda-kun you know, she thinks desperately, fiercely, anything to dispel the tightening in her chest and the redness of her face. He wouldn't say these things if he were himself...

Would he?


She doesn't know. Nanami doesn't know, and it makes her head and heart hurt too much to even think about, but...

I don't want him to let go. The thought is there, traitorous and selfish and miserable. It sits in the back of her throat, festering, and Nanami opens her mouth and]
I... suppose you should...

[She doesn't move, though. Nanami doesn't have the strength to, and it's already taking all of her will to not lean into where he's pressed against the top of her head. But he'll have to let her go, whether it be now or the immediate future, and the thought starts a trembling that Komaeda will surely be able to feel.

This... All of this is for his sake, though. His and the others. She can't let herself forget that.]


From... what my sources have said, Sonia-san is due to return from Novoselic back to Japan next month. [It's hard, slipping back into the Branch Head persona, and it's too shaky to say that she completely succeeds... But she still has to make the attempt anyway.] The Future Foundation has been planning to ambush her as soon as she does. But... If you could get in contact with her and have her come back sooner than that, it would catch the Foundation unaware. They'll never be able to collect all of their resources in time for the wide-scale attack they've been planning in such a short amount of time. The attempt will still be made, but without full power at their disposal or the element of surprise, they will be considerably weaker and easier for you all to overcome.

[She lets out a long breath.] But don't let our classmates press the attack. Have them retreat. The people in the Future Foundation that have helped me, along with the man you've spoken with... They'll be waiting to take you all away to the place we've set aside for your... treatment. [Her voice becomes a little softer.] I won't be able to go with my associates to help, or else the Foundation will suspect something right away... But I will be waiting there for you all to arrive.
handead: (I am everyone's servant hahahaha...)

Dr3 spoilers

[personal profile] handead 2017-01-27 09:40 pm (UTC)(link)
[It would be so easy to turn this in an even greater bath of despair. To betray her at the last moment...

But that would crush the hope before it even has time to be born. He cards his fingers through her hair as he murmurs in her ear.]


Well, that will be easy to do. You see, I already knew about that attack and had altered our course. Adjusting my suggestions will be easy.

[He won't tell her a traitor exists in their ranks. Not all the variables will be under his control.]

All we need is where to meet your friends and proceed from there...
partyleader: <lj user=moes> (pxXa5Gc)

Dr3 spoilers

[personal profile] partyleader 2017-02-10 10:21 am (UTC)(link)
[She shivers at the closeness of him, the feeling of his fingers in her hair and the breath on her ear. Has to fight off her eyes slipping shut, because she still has to remember where she is and who she's with. Or... who she's both with and not with in this case, perhaps. Although she wouldn't have the heart to fight him off if it came down to it. Certainly not now, but maybe not ever.

She lets out another drawn-out breath, though, and the relief is tangible in her voice even though it shouldn't be.]
Of course you did. As expected of Komaeda-kun... Always thinking ahead. [She swallows hard, having a brief moment of deliberation, before finally letting the words loose.] I'm... glad. [While she's here being honest and all.] That might be wrong of me to say. But... They could've killed you all, so I don't regret feeling that way.

[Something plucks at her chest, a little unfamiliar and definitely startling in its level of intensity. It's... animosity, she thinks, towards the Future Foundation. They nearly killed her friends... and they were going to go right along and let her be a part of taking their lives without telling her a thing.

...No. Nanami doesn't have any regrets about this course of action at all.]


The area near the broken bridge leading to Towa City... Forces are weaker there now that things have died down. I'm sure you know of him by now, but you'll be able to rendezvous with my associate, Naegi Makoto, and the man you've encountered before. Kamukura Izuru. [She bites back the honorific. No need to make any of this hurt worse than it already does.] No one will be expecting you to take a ship out to sea from that area, but we've prepared a path. The travel time may vary depending on a few factors, but eventually you'll arrive at the island where I'll be waiting for you all with the Program.
handead: (...is this friendship?)

Re: Dr3 spoilers

[personal profile] handead 2017-03-04 03:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Naegi... [His breath all but halts. Naegi. The word echoes and crashes about in his head as he laughs and laughs. It is the only thing he can think to do. His hands cup Nanami's face as his smile grows wider.

Ultimate Hope.

Now he can't. Absolutely can't refuse this opportunity.]


Kamukura Izuru? Like the founder of Hope's Peak? I have met an enchanting but imposing individual before. So that's his name. Yes, I can direct them all to fly back to you. Like birds returning to their roost...

Of course, I'll explain to them the circumstances. So you don't have to. [Only Despair should see how terribly they'll all take it. There won't be a single dry eye in the group among the smiles none of them will feel.]
partyleader: <lj user=moes> (W53hAeo)

Dr3 spoilers

[personal profile] partyleader 2017-03-11 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you, Komaeda-kun. [She would still do it if she had to, but it would break her heart. It would break the way it's breaking now.] If I needed to, I would, but... It would be hard. So I appreciate it.

But I'll be waiting... [Her eyes are not dry as she gently lays her hand over his right one holding her face. She can't touch the one that belongs to Her - not now when she can remember the maze in vivid and excruciating detail.

Her fault... It's her fault that Komaeda-kun and the others are... She doesn't finish the thought. She can't. It's unbearable to think of what Komaeda might have had done to him - or worse, might've even done himself - to get that hand where it is.

So she shoves it from her mind. Nanami does not deserve any forgiveness. But she will make this as right as she can.]
...I'll wait for you all. And I'll keep you safe.

[No matter the cost.]
handead: (But that place was rotten to the core.)

1/2

[personal profile] handead 2017-03-11 06:15 am (UTC)(link)
I know you will. After all, she selected you to be the representative. [He draws away from her entirely, slipping back like smoke. He walks away without looking back. There's no need. He'll see her again. One last time.

She will lay them all to rest.

Maybe this time she won't get the game over screen.]
thisisourfuture: (haji005)

2/2 dr3 and 2.5 spoilers

[personal profile] thisisourfuture 2017-03-11 06:27 am (UTC)(link)
[The data scrolls across the screen in ones and zeroes impossible to read. Unless you're Hinata. His eyes track back and forth, watching for any kind of sign he'd hoped for. Nothing.

He doesn't know what's going to happen. But, this time he will fix the problem and not let it all fall to pieces. They will all walk under the sun again. His hands lie still on the keyboard for a moment. His fingers tap a staccato in the silence of the main hub room before falling still when the door opens.]


...I told you. This is the only way. [He turns in his seat, the chair creaking almost ominously from his shifted weight. His red eye fixes on the intruder.]

You hooking back up to the program won't solve why he isn't waking up.

partyleader: <lj user=livebites> (nana011)

dr3 and 2.5 spoilers

[personal profile] partyleader 2017-03-11 07:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Hinata-kun... [Nanami expects herself to feel more upset about this, and she is, but more than anything she's just tired. Tired of going around in circles with this, because it feels like it's been days and days rather than just the two or three times she's talked with him about it in the span of 12 hours. Hinata is knowledgeable enough now that he can easily counter every argument she tries to bring, but she can't help but to keep bringing it up even though she knows he's right. Something about it reminds her so sharply of the pointless, circular debates that the Branch Head members used to have about the most inane things - enough that it makes her head ache a little.

Even back then, the only authority she'd ever had was over her branch itself. They had always made her into something meek and quiet rather than the softness tempered with steel she was as a leader.

...She should've known.

But now isn't the time to rehash that particular regret.]
I know it might not fix it. I know, but I have to try-

[Oh, and there it is, there is her feeling too much as the emotions well up to choke off her words. Nanami blinks her eyes fast to erase what's already building, and stares at a single point to prevent anymore. Swallows and makes the attempt again.] ...I have to try. Even if there's no point. Even if it won't help him come back. Because I promised him...

["Even if I have to just watch from afar after you wake up... I'll never leave you alone again."

It hurts. Remembering it hurts...]


So please. [She'll try to hide tears, but Nanami doesn't bother with the tremble in her voice.] Please let me try.
thisisourfuture: (pic#10482383)

dr3 and 2.5 spoilers

[personal profile] thisisourfuture 2017-03-11 07:40 pm (UTC)(link)
[He doesn't say anything at first. Hinata slips out of his chair and closes the distance between them. Without a word he draws out a hand kerchief. He had misstepped in how he talked to Nanami. He knows that. It doesn't make it any easier to admit that.] Nanami.

...I'm just trying to protect both of you. He is deep inside his own mind within the program. Only a program can reach him. I don't know what will happen if you hook back up. The only portion left is so heavily defended and delicate...

Trying could kill both of you. [His voice catches and he lowers his voice, while gently grasping her arm.] Please, stay here.

Work with me on this ai. We can save him. We just can't physically be in there with him until it's safe.
partyleader: <lj user=livebites> (nana014 (1))

dr3 and 2.5 spoilers

[personal profile] partyleader 2017-03-11 09:18 pm (UTC)(link)
[The moment Hinata's hand lands on her arm, her whole body starts to tremble and shake. Delicate, he'd said... Of course Komaeda was. And the illnesses he'd never told anyone about before, when they were classmates... It only puts him even more at risk.

She won't increase that risk... She can't. Nanami wants to see him again so badly, but the urge to dig in her heels about this has completely left her. If he never woke up again because of her...

Nanami shuts her eyes against their stinging.]
...I'll help you, Hinata-kun. Whatever it takes, whatever I need to do... I'll do anything to help him. [Eyelashes flutter open, and her heart hurts too much to care if he sees her tears anymore.] I can't leave him alone. Not again.

[She sniffs, hard, and hesitantly reaches for the handkerchief.] What can I do?
thisisourfuture: Art by ?? (pic#9986778)

[personal profile] thisisourfuture 2017-03-12 03:13 am (UTC)(link)
[It stings a little. She cares so much but she doesn't know...what he knows. Hinata walks over to the filing cabinet and pulls out the thick file of print outs. He holds it out to her.]

Read this.

[He steps past her, calling over his shoulder.] I'll be next door.

Come see me when you're done. [He has a feeling she'll need a little time alone while reading Komaeda's life history. It isn't an easy thing to digest.]
partyleader: <lj user=moes> (l4JoJqq)

[personal profile] partyleader 2017-03-13 08:45 am (UTC)(link)
[Some part of her feels like she should be prepared for what's inside of the file. She knows that Komaeda is "sick", but no one has ever told her what that means. Or much of anything else about him, for that matter.

Even before she's flipped open the first page, the cold and sickening truth trickles through her veins. She has cared and loved for Komaeda, as she has with Yukizome and all of her classmates. But she has never, ever known him.

I'm sorry, the miserable thought streaks through her mind. I'm so, so sorry... Komaeda-kun...

Nanami doesn't want forgiveness for this, either. But perhaps learning more now is the only way she can atone.

Some part of her thought she would be prepared. That part had been horribly wrong.

She reads about the plane crash, the meteor that had inadvertently saved his life while killing his parents at the same time, orphaned at such a tender age and in such a traumatic way. The serial killer that kidnapped him in middle school and stuffed him into a garbage bag, and every time Komaeda has called himself "trash" bounces around cruelly in her head. By the time Nanami has gotten halfway through the records detailing the lymphoma and frontotemporal dementia, there's a strangled sound that keeps reaching her ears as if from a distance, and it takes her a minute to realize that they're sobs that are coming from her. She grips the papers tight in trembling hands. Nanami has never cried like this before.

Six months, the thought floats through her head hazily. They only gave him six months to live. With that window... He could've just been dead one day, and not a single one of them would have known why. He never told them.

And with the way everyone treated him... With the way he treated himself... Why would he have ever done so?

Her face is wet with tears as she reads through the rest, even though it's all things she knows. The exam incident, Komaeda's suspension, the limited account of the fall to despair - which she has to skim, lest her mind fill in all the blanks - and what Komaeda had done to both himself and others as "Servant"...

Finally, she sets the file down. Takes a moment to try and breathe again. Gives up on wiping away the tears when more keep streaking down to take their place. Somehow, Nanami manages to gather up the papers again, moving automatically, and makes her way to the room next door where Hinata waits.

She's quiet for a long time before she speaks. Before she's able to.]
...I read it. [Her voice comes out raspy and hoarse. Almost unfamiliar.] I read all of it.
thisisourfuture: (haji013)

[personal profile] thisisourfuture 2017-03-13 03:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[Hinata doesn't look up from fitting cables into the side of Komaeda's pod. He checks to make sure they're secure and taps out a series of codes into the laptop. From the screen his own face looks back at him. 'Logic Drive starting.' The Ai draws back and walks away into tunnel of light behind him. His fingers tap on the keys and go still as he turns to face her.]

Don't blame yourself. He never let anyone know him until he met me in the simulation. Even that, it took me being persistent. He is a difficult person to get close to.

[He lets go of the keyboard and closes the distance between them. He holds out his hand to her.] I couldn't share him until you understood.

[Nanami. Komaeda. They're his. But Komaeda could get away with trying to be background noise if even one person didn't understand his history.]

We can play some games while we wait on the logic dive. It will take a while. He's stubborn.
partyleader: <lj user=moes> (pic#10700483)

[personal profile] partyleader 2017-03-14 08:42 am (UTC)(link)
[It startles a laugh out of her, watery but genuine.] He wouldn't be Komaeda-kun if he wasn't, would he?

But knowing what to say or do to help... that's just like you too, isn't it? [Hesitantly, gently, she places her hand in his.] Thank you for letting me get to know him more, Hinata-kun. Even if some of it was hard to read... I'd rather know. I wish I'd tried harder before, but... I want to do what I can to understand him now. No matter if it hurts or not.

So I'll wait with you. Even if it takes a long time for him to wake up. [She gives his fingers a soft squeeze with her own.] I'd be happy to play something with you until he does, though. It's been so long since I had anyone to play games with... [Her eyes are still wet at the corners, but there's less strain in her voice and in her smile.] You should be able to beat me now, right?

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