bakerstreet | HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?

[One could argue they had already been hurt and she'd been the axis from which it revolved. He doesn't say it as he cards his fingers through her hair. Even letting her this close, admitting he felt anything was stabbing himself with sharp knives.]

I suppose I should let go of you so we can get to business then? Unless you had other ideas.

[He leaves that sentence purposefully sounding suggestive as he dips his head, pressing his face into her hair. She's so small. He could carry her anywhere.]

After all I assume you have a plan for what you plan to do with your classmates. Or you wouldn't have called for me to implement the next phase.

[Her breath catches in her throat, sharp and painful. Nanami is frozen as she stands there, because surely Komaeda can't mean anything like that, but... What is she supposed to think? How is she supposed to respond to this?

He's not the Komaeda-kun you know, she thinks desperately, fiercely, anything to dispel the tightening in her chest and the redness of her face. He wouldn't say these things if he were himself...

Would he?

She doesn't know. Nanami doesn't know, and it makes her head and heart hurt too much to even think about, but...

I don't want him to let go. The thought is there, traitorous and selfish and miserable. It sits in the back of her throat, festering, and Nanami opens her mouth and] I... suppose you should...

[She doesn't move, though. Nanami doesn't have the strength to, and it's already taking all of her will to not lean into where he's pressed against the top of her head. But he'll have to let her go, whether it be now or the immediate future, and the thought starts a trembling that Komaeda will surely be able to feel.

This... All of this is for his sake, though. His and the others. She can't let herself forget that.]

From... what my sources have said, Sonia-san is due to return from Novoselic back to Japan next month. [It's hard, slipping back into the Branch Head persona, and it's too shaky to say that she completely succeeds... But she still has to make the attempt anyway.] The Future Foundation has been planning to ambush her as soon as she does. But... If you could get in contact with her and have her come back sooner than that, it would catch the Foundation unaware. They'll never be able to collect all of their resources in time for the wide-scale attack they've been planning in such a short amount of time. The attempt will still be made, but without full power at their disposal or the element of surprise, they will be considerably weaker and easier for you all to overcome.

[She lets out a long breath.] But don't let our classmates press the attack. Have them retreat. The people in the Future Foundation that have helped me, along with the man you've spoken with... They'll be waiting to take you all away to the place we've set aside for your... treatment. [Her voice becomes a little softer.] I won't be able to go with my associates to help, or else the Foundation will suspect something right away... But I will be waiting there for you all to arrive.

[It would be so easy to turn this in an even greater bath of despair. To betray her at the last moment...

But that would crush the hope before it even has time to be born. He cards his fingers through her hair as he murmurs in her ear.]

Well, that will be easy to do. You see, I already knew about that attack and had altered our course. Adjusting my suggestions will be easy.

[He won't tell her a traitor exists in their ranks. Not all the variables will be under his control.]

All we need is where to meet your friends and proceed from there...

[She shivers at the closeness of him, the feeling of his fingers in her hair and the breath on her ear. Has to fight off her eyes slipping shut, because she still has to remember where she is and who she's with. Or... who she's both with and not with in this case, perhaps. Although she wouldn't have the heart to fight him off if it came down to it. Certainly not now, but maybe not ever.

She lets out another drawn-out breath, though, and the relief is tangible in her voice even though it shouldn't be.] Of course you did. As expected of Komaeda-kun... Always thinking ahead. [She swallows hard, having a brief moment of deliberation, before finally letting the words loose.] I'm... glad. [While she's here being honest and all.] That might be wrong of me to say. But... They could've killed you all, so I don't regret feeling that way.

[Something plucks at her chest, a little unfamiliar and definitely startling in its level of intensity. It's... animosity, she thinks, towards the Future Foundation. They nearly killed her friends... and they were going to go right along and let her be a part of taking their lives without telling her a thing.

...No. Nanami doesn't have any regrets about this course of action at all.]

The area near the broken bridge leading to Towa City... Forces are weaker there now that things have died down. I'm sure you know of him by now, but you'll be able to rendezvous with my associate, Naegi Makoto, and the man you've encountered before. Kamukura Izuru. [She bites back the honorific. No need to make any of this hurt worse than it already does.] No one will be expecting you to take a ship out to sea from that area, but we've prepared a path. The travel time may vary depending on a few factors, but eventually you'll arrive at the island where I'll be waiting for you all with the Program.

Naegi... [His breath all but halts. Naegi. The word echoes and crashes about in his head as he laughs and laughs. It is the only thing he can think to do. His hands cup Nanami's face as his smile grows wider.

Ultimate Hope.

Now he can't. Absolutely can't refuse this opportunity.]

Kamukura Izuru? Like the founder of Hope's Peak? I have met an enchanting but imposing individual before. So that's his name. Yes, I can direct them all to fly back to you. Like birds returning to their roost...

Of course, I'll explain to them the circumstances. So you don't have to. [Only Despair should see how terribly they'll all take it. There won't be a single dry eye in the group among the smiles none of them will feel.]

Thank you, Komaeda-kun. [She would still do it if she had to, but it would break her heart. It would break the way it's breaking now.] If I needed to, I would, but... It would be hard. So I appreciate it.

But I'll be waiting... [Her eyes are not dry as she gently lays her hand over his right one holding her face. She can't touch the one that belongs to Her - not now when she can remember the maze in vivid and excruciating detail.

Her fault... It's her fault that Komaeda-kun and the others are... She doesn't finish the thought. She can't. It's unbearable to think of what Komaeda might have had done to him - or worse, might've even done himself - to get that hand where it is.

So she shoves it from her mind. Nanami does not deserve any forgiveness. But she will make this as right as she can.] ...I'll wait for you all. And I'll keep you safe.

[No matter the cost.]

I know you will. After all, she selected you to be the representative. [He draws away from her entirely, slipping back like smoke. He walks away without looking back. There's no need. He'll see her again. One last time.

She will lay them all to rest.

Maybe this time she won't get the game over screen.]

[The data scrolls across the screen in ones and zeroes impossible to read. Unless you're Hinata. His eyes track back and forth, watching for any kind of sign he'd hoped for. Nothing.

He doesn't know what's going to happen. But, this time he will fix the problem and not let it all fall to pieces. They will all walk under the sun again. His hands lie still on the keyboard for a moment. His fingers tap a staccato in the silence of the main hub room before falling still when the door opens.]

...I told you. This is the only way. [He turns in his seat, the chair creaking almost ominously from his shifted weight. His red eye fixes on the intruder.]

You hooking back up to the program won't solve why he isn't waking up.

Hinata-kun... [Nanami expects herself to feel more upset about this, and she is, but more than anything she's just tired. Tired of going around in circles with this, because it feels like it's been days and days rather than just the two or three times she's talked with him about it in the span of 12 hours. Hinata is knowledgeable enough now that he can easily counter every argument she tries to bring, but she can't help but to keep bringing it up even though she knows he's right. Something about it reminds her so sharply of the pointless, circular debates that the Branch Head members used to have about the most inane things - enough that it makes her head ache a little.

Even back then, the only authority she'd ever had was over her branch itself. They had always made her into something meek and quiet rather than the softness tempered with steel she was as a leader.

...She should've known.

But now isn't the time to rehash that particular regret.] I know it might not fix it. I know, but I have to try-

[Oh, and there it is, there is her feeling too much as the emotions well up to choke off her words. Nanami blinks her eyes fast to erase what's already building, and stares at a single point to prevent anymore. Swallows and makes the attempt again.] ...I have to try. Even if there's no point. Even if it won't help him come back. Because I promised him...

["Even if I have to just watch from afar after you wake up... I'll never leave you alone again."

It hurts. Remembering it hurts...]

So please. [She'll try to hide tears, but Nanami doesn't bother with the tremble in her voice.] Please let me try.

[He doesn't say anything at first. Hinata slips out of his chair and closes the distance between them. Without a word he draws out a hand kerchief. He had misstepped in how he talked to Nanami. He knows that. It doesn't make it any easier to admit that.] Nanami.

...I'm just trying to protect both of you. He is deep inside his own mind within the program. Only a program can reach him. I don't know what will happen if you hook back up. The only portion left is so heavily defended and delicate...

Trying could kill both of you. [His voice catches and he lowers his voice, while gently grasping her arm.] Please, stay here.

Work with me on this ai. We can save him. We just can't physically be in there with him until it's safe.

[The moment Hinata's hand lands on her arm, her whole body starts to tremble and shake. Delicate, he'd said... Of course Komaeda was. And the illnesses he'd never told anyone about before, when they were classmates... It only puts him even more at risk.

She won't increase that risk... She can't. Nanami wants to see him again so badly, but the urge to dig in her heels about this has completely left her. If he never woke up again because of her...

Nanami shuts her eyes against their stinging.] ...I'll help you, Hinata-kun. Whatever it takes, whatever I need to do... I'll do anything to help him. [Eyelashes flutter open, and her heart hurts too much to care if he sees her tears anymore.] I can't leave him alone. Not again.

[She sniffs, hard, and hesitantly reaches for the handkerchief.] What can I do?

[It stings a little. She cares so much but she doesn't know...what he knows. Hinata walks over to the filing cabinet and pulls out the thick file of print outs. He holds it out to her.]

Read this.

[He steps past her, calling over his shoulder.] I'll be next door.

Come see me when you're done. [He has a feeling she'll need a little time alone while reading Komaeda's life history. It isn't an easy thing to digest.]

[Some part of her feels like she should be prepared for what's inside of the file. She knows that Komaeda is "sick", but no one has ever told her what that means. Or much of anything else about him, for that matter.

Even before she's flipped open the first page, the cold and sickening truth trickles through her veins. She has cared and loved for Komaeda, as she has with Yukizome and all of her classmates. But she has never, ever known him.

I'm sorry, the miserable thought streaks through her mind. I'm so, so sorry... Komaeda-kun...

Nanami doesn't want forgiveness for this, either. But perhaps learning more now is the only way she can atone.

Some part of her thought she would be prepared. That part had been horribly wrong.

She reads about the plane crash, the meteor that had inadvertently saved his life while killing his parents at the same time, orphaned at such a tender age and in such a traumatic way. The serial killer that kidnapped him in middle school and stuffed him into a garbage bag, and every time Komaeda has called himself "trash" bounces around cruelly in her head. By the time Nanami has gotten halfway through the records detailing the lymphoma and frontotemporal dementia, there's a strangled sound that keeps reaching her ears as if from a distance, and it takes her a minute to realize that they're sobs that are coming from her. She grips the papers tight in trembling hands. Nanami has never cried like this before.

Six months, the thought floats through her head hazily. They only gave him six months to live. With that window... He could've just been dead one day, and not a single one of them would have known why. He never told them.

And with the way everyone treated him... With the way he treated himself... Why would he have ever done so?

Her face is wet with tears as she reads through the rest, even though it's all things she knows. The exam incident, Komaeda's suspension, the limited account of the fall to despair - which she has to skim, lest her mind fill in all the blanks - and what Komaeda had done to both himself and others as "Servant"...

Finally, she sets the file down. Takes a moment to try and breathe again. Gives up on wiping away the tears when more keep streaking down to take their place. Somehow, Nanami manages to gather up the papers again, moving automatically, and makes her way to the room next door where Hinata waits.

She's quiet for a long time before she speaks. Before she's able to.] ...I read it. [Her voice comes out raspy and hoarse. Almost unfamiliar.] I read all of it.

[Hinata doesn't look up from fitting cables into the side of Komaeda's pod. He checks to make sure they're secure and taps out a series of codes into the laptop. From the screen his own face looks back at him. 'Logic Drive starting.' The Ai draws back and walks away into tunnel of light behind him. His fingers tap on the keys and go still as he turns to face her.]

Don't blame yourself. He never let anyone know him until he met me in the simulation. Even that, it took me being persistent. He is a difficult person to get close to.

[He lets go of the keyboard and closes the distance between them. He holds out his hand to her.] I couldn't share him until you understood.

[Nanami. Komaeda. They're his. But Komaeda could get away with trying to be background noise if even one person didn't understand his history.]

We can play some games while we wait on the logic dive. It will take a while. He's stubborn.

[It startles a laugh out of her, watery but genuine.] He wouldn't be Komaeda-kun if he wasn't, would he?

But knowing what to say or do to help... that's just like you too, isn't it? [Hesitantly, gently, she places her hand in his.] Thank you for letting me get to know him more, Hinata-kun. Even if some of it was hard to read... I'd rather know. I wish I'd tried harder before, but... I want to do what I can to understand him now. No matter if it hurts or not.

So I'll wait with you. Even if it takes a long time for him to wake up. [She gives his fingers a soft squeeze with her own.] I'd be happy to play something with you until he does, though. It's been so long since I had anyone to play games with... [Her eyes are still wet at the corners, but there's less strain in her voice and in her smile.] You should be able to beat me now, right?

It's true I know what to say now but, that's just from experience. I didn't tell anyone my problems either. [It goes without saying as he tosses her a game controller that he could beat her. If he made the effort.

That's now what he wants right now.]

If you do beat me I'll tell you what the file doesn't say.

[Hinata lost on purpose. Repeatedly. He'd told her about little details about Komaeda's likes. The way his breath would catch right before a ramble. His eyes going wide with surprise when someone was kind. The way he looked when he'd made his decision to kill them all.

Each piece fits into the whole until there is a soft sound as the ai returns. 'He will be waking shortly.' The game system goes quiet and Hinata waits for Komaeda.

'...can you hear me?'

Komaeda turns his head to focus on Hinata's face. They share a smile as holds his left hand out. After he's helped up and they share a conversation, Hinata points to the right. He turns his head and his breath catches, eyes going wide.]

You kept your promise.

[Nanami gives it her all. She doesn't get upset that she wins, because it's not like that time so long ago. Hinata isn't distracted when he throws the game - she can see focus in his eyes, and it makes something warm up in her chest. She drinks in every detail he gives her about Komaeda, and it's like a key to old memories she hadn't paid much attention to. Little things here and there, suddenly illuminated by the quiet words that settle down in between rounds. Nanami shuts her eyes and pictures each thing, trying to burn it into her brain.

She doesn't want to forget anything ever again. She will never allow anyone to take these things away from her.

When the AI announces Komaeda is about to wake up, Nanami freezes. A nervous energy thrums under her skin, keeps her completely still while at the same time fills her with the desire to move, to run over to where he sleeps-

She waits. Listens. Breath catching as she watches Hinata go to him. Talk to him...

And everything goes quiet around her, eyes drawn to him and unable to look away. Memorizes the catching of his breath and the widening of his eyes.

"You kept your promise."]

Komaeda... kun...

[She wants to run to him. Wants to hug him close and never let go. The best Nanami can do is move closer, hand hovering uselessly like it wants to grab for him, but doesn't know if it should. Her heart feels like it's expanding in her chest, fit to burst.]

You're here. You came back. [The tears from before are back, welling in her eyes, but she's smiling wide as she says that phrase.] Welcome home.

[Okaeri.]

[He dips his head, acknowledging the greeting. He glances up briefly as Hinata steps back and away towards a worktable in the back. His eyes lock with Nanami's as he climbs out of the pod.]

Will you help me? I believe Hinata-kun wants me at the table in the back.

[The grunt of affirmative from the back tells him all he needs to know about that.]

[Nanami hears him too, and that's really all the confirmation she needs. But she does have to wonder... Is it what she thinks it is...?

Well. They'll find out soon enough, one way or another.] I can help you. Do you... [Hand stretches out towards him, and there's a little pink that enters her face when she does, but... it shouldn't, really. Maybe more than anything it's just an excitement that hums low in her veins, equal parts nervous and ecstatic. She can talk to him again. She can hear his voice again.] You haven't been in the pod long enough for it to cause much damage to your leg muscles, but do you need a hand getting over there?

HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?

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