He's gained a lot here too. He lost a lot leaving his old life but what he's gained is worth more than all of that. This is his family, something bigger than himeslf, the Resistance was of course, but perhaps now Rey and Finn too. He'd be so happy if he could be that lucky.
Rey felt nice in his arm. He kept his other one free to gesture as he spoke. His heart was beating faster as he told the story.
"...and I told BB-8 to leave, gave him the map and told him I'd come back for him. Little guy didn't want to leave. Kylo, he did something unreal. I fired my blaster and he froze it in mid-air. I was so surprised that two of the storm troopers just picked me up and dragged me to him. He asked about the map, I didn't give him anything... you know, willingly." he won't discuss his mind rape in depth. Not that it's a secret or anything, he's ashamed it happened though he doesn't really blame himself. It's unpleasant and he's sure Rey doesn't want to hear it.
"So they arrest me and their ship, Rey, their ship it was so huge. It was magnificent, everyone moving like ants, all in perfect assembly line perfection. I was taken to the interrogation room right off. They kept me for hours, nobody got a peep out of me." until they did. Until he did.
On Takodana, Maz told Rey that the belonging she sought was not behind her, rather ahead, and Rey would like to believe that she's found it here - the most unexpected of places to end up, but the only place she'd ever been welcomed so easily and readily. She's got a huge adopted family, and she's got friends now, too, and Finn, and Poe, if he wanted them like that.
Time will tell.
Right now, though, was all about the story-telling, and Rey was all ears, eyes widening to hear it all for the first time from the person that had lived through it, gasping at the appropriate moments, hiding her face against his chest at others, shivering at still more - she'd been at the receiving end of Kylo Ren's particular mind-probing talents, and never wanted to find herself there again.
But if anyone understands what she'd gone through at his hands, it's Poe, and vice versa. Even if he doesn't elaborate, she understands. Even if he never elaborates, she understands.
Poe absolutely believes she's found it here. The Resistance was the best cause he'd found with the best people. He can't imagine a better place and with her and Finn, quality people like Akbar and Organa, this was the best place to belong. Rey likely didn't appreciate just how well she fit in here, she couldn't see herself from the outside looking in. It's a puzzle piece fit and honestly he can so easily see himself falling into her and Finn like she wants. Like he thinks he wants too. The thought excites him but he has too much respect for them and love itself to just say yes on a whim. They'll get his dedicated thought and an honest answer.
Rey was a lovely listener too. Even the parts he knew were redundant she gasped and tucked her head into him. It was so charming. He so badly wanted to kiss her head when she peeked out from his side. It was a thought he resisted but it was harder to do so by the minute.
He sweeps past the part about Kylo getting his information and there was a strange understanding then. He knew that she knew. She knew the grimy details and he didn't need to explain it to her the way she did to others. He need not broach the subject with her, and he appreciated that. It made him want to be honest and tell it all to her, she'd get it. When Kylo Ren got his information he wanted to shrink into nothingness. He had been so exhausted trying to resist but he wasn't force strong, he didn't have any defense against a sith. That didn't make it easier to swallow.
He squeezed Rey tighter and he does peck the crown of her head.
"We both are." and she resisted him, even turned the tables on Kylo. Poe's so proud of her. He counts that one as her getting a little revenge for him, even though she didn't know it at the time.
"I passed out after he left me. The next thing I knew a storm trooper was coming to collect me. I was staggering in the hall, he had to lead me by my arm it was so bad. Then out of nowhere, we're in this hallway, two guards are patrolling ahead of us but they're not facing us. My guy orders me into this pocket corridor, right? He says if I do exactly as he says that he could get me out of that place. I was so confused. he takes his helmet off. I'd never seen a storm trooper but hearing his actual voice, not muffled by the damn mask, it made it all the better." and there is no need to introduce Finn.
"He says 'This is a rescue, I'm helping you escape. Can you fly a TIE Fighter?' and I thought he had to be with us. So I asked and he just squints his eyes.
'What? No, I'm breaking you out, can you fly a TIE Fighter?'
I felt kind of offended, this guy has no idea what I'm like. I said 'I can fly anything.' Finn's smile then, it was like a sunrise. He was so excited. I ask him, 'why are you helping me?'
He paused, I didn't think he even knew why. He just nodded. 'Because it's the right thing to do.'
I realize he needs to escape too. I said he needs a pilot, he hadn't even thought of that and he agreed. I was so excited, I said 'We're gonna do this!'"
It's ... home, for lack of a better term. Other than Jakku, it's what she knows, and it's full of people that she cares about, and she can be helpful. And if that isn't what home is, she doesn't know what is. Finn's here, after all, and he's taken up residence inside a huge part of her heart. Poe is here, and he could take up the other part, if he wants. Even if he decides that he can't, they'd still care immensely for him - he's their friend, after all, and if that's all he could ever be, they wouldn't care for him any less.
(But she hopes, oh, she hopes ... )
She might have heard bits and pieces of the story before, but the way he's telling it now, it feels brand new. Every reaction is one hundred percent real, every gasp and withheld breath, and softly spoken oh no's and when then's.
And every time she pressed closer to both hide her face and steal some warmth was very real, too.
Some time, maybe, they could sit and speak about what they'd both experienced at the hand of Kylo Ren, maybe as a way of healing, but it doesn't have to be now. It was comforting enough to know that Poe could understand everything she'd felt and gone through when her mind had been invaded. And she hopes that she can offer that same comfort, even though she doesn't say as much out loud.
He'd done everything in his power to resist. There was nothing at all to be ashamed of in that.
She hums happily, barely resisting the urge to half-heartedly argue that he was far braver than she was, not wanting to interrupt too much, just as he's getting to the best part of all - Finn, and the rescue, since that's what brought them both to her, not at the same time, of course, but close enough.
He continues, and her eyes widen all the more, a palpable feeling of excitement building, the knowledge that they could have been caught at any time keeping her on edge, even though she knows exactly how it ends! "I can fly anything", she repeats softly, snorting out a chuckle. It's true - but it's still funny.
"Oh, and then? And then?"
She knows very well what happens next. It just so happens to be her favorite part.
Of course she's home. He's not letting her go away either, she isn't allowed to drop out of his life now. No matter how he answers her and Finn, he's holding on to them with both hands. That should make this decision easy and he's very sure he wants to say yes. But he needs to give it time, this deserved a well thought answer. But he wouldn't mind test running it one-on-one maybe. If that didn't offend anyone.
For now it's easy enough to hold her and let her cling to him as she pleased. She was a very animated girl and watching her listen to him was a treat. He thought about reading to her, old stories she missed out on as a child. Maybe they could start reading a book out loud. Maybe all three of them, Finn didn't have a good childhood either. Poe wanted to introduce the good things they missed, he looked forward to that actually. All of Rey's gasps ans exclamations were so innocent, he could just picture her as a child and that made him want to protect her even more. She had that part of her left intact and that was precious and worth saving.
If she were to suggest they talk about Kylo's mind probing, he'd agree to sit with her. He wanted to know how it went for her, how his experience was similar and different. It might be easier to live with it that way. But that was for another time. Right now it was time to smile at her little interruption. Sure she could say he was braver but she's the one who swung a lightsaber at Kylo Ren with zero training beforehand. That was insane. Fearless brass balls sort of stuff.
"Anyway, he puts his helmet back on and we continue with him escorting me at gunpoint. We head into the hangar, there's officers everywhere. I see a row of docked TIE Fighters, I'm trying to look the part. I didn't have to try very hard, I think. Finn kept saying 'Okay stay calm, stay calm.'. I told him I was calm, he said he was talking to himself. That worried me, I thought he'd blow this escape if he was that wound up over it. But he did great. As soon as the nearest patrol guards passed us tells me 'Okay, go, this way.' and we run to TIE fighter. Nobody notices. We get seated, I asked if he could shoot in it. He says he knows blasters which is close enough. So I'm explaining how the firing system works, I'm so excited to get out but also to fly one of those things. I had always wanted to, right? I'm grinning. We take off, the damn thing's still anchored onto the hangar bay."
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He's gained a lot here too. He lost a lot leaving his old life but what he's gained is worth more than all of that. This is his family, something bigger than himeslf, the Resistance was of course, but perhaps now Rey and Finn too. He'd be so happy if he could be that lucky.
Rey felt nice in his arm. He kept his other one free to gesture as he spoke. His heart was beating faster as he told the story.
"...and I told BB-8 to leave, gave him the map and told him I'd come back for him. Little guy didn't want to leave. Kylo, he did something unreal. I fired my blaster and he froze it in mid-air. I was so surprised that two of the storm troopers just picked me up and dragged me to him. He asked about the map, I didn't give him anything... you know, willingly." he won't discuss his mind rape in depth. Not that it's a secret or anything, he's ashamed it happened though he doesn't really blame himself. It's unpleasant and he's sure Rey doesn't want to hear it.
"So they arrest me and their ship, Rey, their ship it was so huge. It was magnificent, everyone moving like ants, all in perfect assembly line perfection. I was taken to the interrogation room right off. They kept me for hours, nobody got a peep out of me." until they did. Until he did.
no subject
Time will tell.
Right now, though, was all about the story-telling, and Rey was all ears, eyes widening to hear it all for the first time from the person that had lived through it, gasping at the appropriate moments, hiding her face against his chest at others, shivering at still more - she'd been at the receiving end of Kylo Ren's particular mind-probing talents, and never wanted to find herself there again.
But if anyone understands what she'd gone through at his hands, it's Poe, and vice versa. Even if he doesn't elaborate, she understands. Even if he never elaborates, she understands.
"So brave - ", she murmurs, cuddling closer.
no subject
Poe absolutely believes she's found it here. The Resistance was the best cause he'd found with the best people. He can't imagine a better place and with her and Finn, quality people like Akbar and Organa, this was the best place to belong. Rey likely didn't appreciate just how well she fit in here, she couldn't see herself from the outside looking in. It's a puzzle piece fit and honestly he can so easily see himself falling into her and Finn like she wants. Like he thinks he wants too. The thought excites him but he has too much respect for them and love itself to just say yes on a whim. They'll get his dedicated thought and an honest answer.
Rey was a lovely listener too. Even the parts he knew were redundant she gasped and tucked her head into him. It was so charming. He so badly wanted to kiss her head when she peeked out from his side. It was a thought he resisted but it was harder to do so by the minute.
He sweeps past the part about Kylo getting his information and there was a strange understanding then. He knew that she knew. She knew the grimy details and he didn't need to explain it to her the way she did to others. He need not broach the subject with her, and he appreciated that. It made him want to be honest and tell it all to her, she'd get it. When Kylo Ren got his information he wanted to shrink into nothingness. He had been so exhausted trying to resist but he wasn't force strong, he didn't have any defense against a sith. That didn't make it easier to swallow.
He squeezed Rey tighter and he does peck the crown of her head.
"We both are." and she resisted him, even turned the tables on Kylo. Poe's so proud of her. He counts that one as her getting a little revenge for him, even though she didn't know it at the time.
"I passed out after he left me. The next thing I knew a storm trooper was coming to collect me. I was staggering in the hall, he had to lead me by my arm it was so bad. Then out of nowhere, we're in this hallway, two guards are patrolling ahead of us but they're not facing us. My guy orders me into this pocket corridor, right? He says if I do exactly as he says that he could get me out of that place. I was so confused. he takes his helmet off. I'd never seen a storm trooper but hearing his actual voice, not muffled by the damn mask, it made it all the better." and there is no need to introduce Finn.
"He says 'This is a rescue, I'm helping you escape. Can you fly a TIE Fighter?' and I thought he had to be with us. So I asked and he just squints his eyes.
'What? No, I'm breaking you out, can you fly a TIE Fighter?'
I felt kind of offended, this guy has no idea what I'm like. I said 'I can fly anything.' Finn's smile then, it was like a sunrise. He was so excited. I ask him, 'why are you helping me?'
He paused, I didn't think he even knew why. He just nodded. 'Because it's the right thing to do.'
I realize he needs to escape too. I said he needs a pilot, he hadn't even thought of that and he agreed. I was so excited, I said 'We're gonna do this!'"
no subject
(But she hopes, oh, she hopes ... )
She might have heard bits and pieces of the story before, but the way he's telling it now, it feels brand new. Every reaction is one hundred percent real, every gasp and withheld breath, and softly spoken oh no's and when then's.
And every time she pressed closer to both hide her face and steal some warmth was very real, too.
Some time, maybe, they could sit and speak about what they'd both experienced at the hand of Kylo Ren, maybe as a way of healing, but it doesn't have to be now. It was comforting enough to know that Poe could understand everything she'd felt and gone through when her mind had been invaded. And she hopes that she can offer that same comfort, even though she doesn't say as much out loud.
He'd done everything in his power to resist. There was nothing at all to be ashamed of in that.
She hums happily, barely resisting the urge to half-heartedly argue that he was far braver than she was, not wanting to interrupt too much, just as he's getting to the best part of all - Finn, and the rescue, since that's what brought them both to her, not at the same time, of course, but close enough.
He continues, and her eyes widen all the more, a palpable feeling of excitement building, the knowledge that they could have been caught at any time keeping her on edge, even though she knows exactly how it ends! "I can fly anything", she repeats softly, snorting out a chuckle. It's true - but it's still funny.
"Oh, and then? And then?"
She knows very well what happens next. It just so happens to be her favorite part.
no subject
Of course she's home. He's not letting her go away either, she isn't allowed to drop out of his life now. No matter how he answers her and Finn, he's holding on to them with both hands. That should make this decision easy and he's very sure he wants to say yes. But he needs to give it time, this deserved a well thought answer. But he wouldn't mind test running it one-on-one maybe. If that didn't offend anyone.
For now it's easy enough to hold her and let her cling to him as she pleased. She was a very animated girl and watching her listen to him was a treat. He thought about reading to her, old stories she missed out on as a child. Maybe they could start reading a book out loud. Maybe all three of them, Finn didn't have a good childhood either. Poe wanted to introduce the good things they missed, he looked forward to that actually. All of Rey's gasps ans exclamations were so innocent, he could just picture her as a child and that made him want to protect her even more. She had that part of her left intact and that was precious and worth saving.
If she were to suggest they talk about Kylo's mind probing, he'd agree to sit with her. He wanted to know how it went for her, how his experience was similar and different. It might be easier to live with it that way. But that was for another time. Right now it was time to smile at her little interruption. Sure she could say he was braver but she's the one who swung a lightsaber at Kylo Ren with zero training beforehand. That was insane. Fearless brass balls sort of stuff.
"Anyway, he puts his helmet back on and we continue with him escorting me at gunpoint. We head into the hangar, there's officers everywhere. I see a row of docked TIE Fighters, I'm trying to look the part. I didn't have to try very hard, I think. Finn kept saying 'Okay stay calm, stay calm.'. I told him I was calm, he said he was talking to himself. That worried me, I thought he'd blow this escape if he was that wound up over it. But he did great. As soon as the nearest patrol guards passed us tells me 'Okay, go, this way.' and we run to TIE fighter. Nobody notices. We get seated, I asked if he could shoot in it. He says he knows blasters which is close enough. So I'm explaining how the firing system works, I'm so excited to get out but also to fly one of those things. I had always wanted to, right? I'm grinning. We take off, the damn thing's still anchored onto the hangar bay."
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