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Natasha Romanoff | MCU

[matreshka]

[ F/M for shipping, OTA misfires. Civil War compliant, prefs here. ]

a. Three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'dinosaur jokes'.

b. Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?

c. Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with vodka. I'm gonna have a badass scar.

d. or send your own

a

[im_ironman]

So did you find any good ones?

[matreshka]

Depends on your definition of 'good', but a few.

[ Enough new material to continue being the brat she is and make Steve's life interesting, anyway. ]

[im_ironman]

nice.

So what's with the bloody fingers?

[matreshka]

Looks like I cut them on something, but I don't actually remember doing it.

c

[seeingscarlet]

Do I want to know?

[matreshka]

Forgot to pack the toothpaste. And probably not. Remember when they said 'we need someone to recover this thing' and I said 'piece of cake'? Well, there was a shiv in the cake. :c

[seeingscarlet]

Please tell me you saw a *real* doctor.

[matreshka]

Define real.

b

[kingsown]

add. guys love that shit.

[matreshka]

Knowing this particular guy, you're probably not wrong, but you don't think 4 is overkill?

[kingsown]

Not really.

[matreshka]

Is that your professional opinion? Do you have boob hickey credentials? How do I know you're not a boob hickey quack?

a

[oldfashionedhero]

Was it worth it?

[matreshka]

You tell me...

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?

[ She gives him a few seconds and then: ]

A thesaurus. ;)

[ Answer: no. ]

[oldfashionedhero]

You worked your fingers to the bone for that? That's it, I'm staging an intervention.

c.

[busdriver]

mongolian vodka? might be all you think it's good for.
i don't know how discerning you are.

[matreshka]

Can't be worse than the stuff they make stateside. I think mouthwash is probably stronger.

And, you know. Beggars can't be choosers, so. Sure.

[busdriver]

it's good you're practicing good dental hygiene.

i'll bring it by. let's talk about that badass scar you're gonna have. you need anything for that?

d.

[razoruzhat]

You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.

[matreshka]

1. Where is here? 2. I'm sorry for your ears. (And your eyeballs.) 3. Why do I always miss the good roadtrips?

[razoruzhat]

1. Vancouver. 2. Already scarred for life. 3. Dunno. Wanna come next time?

b

[indirector]

I generally like to limit myself to 2 but you're the expert.

lmao o m g

[matreshka]

Really? Huh. Well I guess too many WOULD kind of clash with the eye-patch and the plunging neckline...

[ Filed under: Things she could've gone forever without knowing about Dad her boss. ]

asdfjkl;

[indirector]

[This job comes with all sorts of knowledge they'd rather not have.]

Exactly. Have to keep the accessories light or things get too busy, visually-speaking.