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[allaboutmeme]

 

Yuh

Comments

kylo ren | star wars: the force awakens

[derriphan]

( 1. ) He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me hard thinking about it.
( 2. ) I'm like, not good at living.
( 3. ) How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
( 4. ) Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again.
( 5. ) What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention.
( 6. ) Text him.

2

[reykt]

This is a new level of self awareness for you

[derriphan]

I have my moments.

[reykt]

So what happened?

[derriphan]

I got into a fight with a bar counter. The counter won.

[reykt]

Your tolerance must be TERRIBLE

[ Quiet Rey you've never even touched alcohol ]

1

[hux]

Is there a problem with that?

[derriphan]

No.

[ Excuse him while his brain jumps through several hoops to try to rationalize this in a way that doesn't make his chest tighten in a way that could be panic or could be something even less convenient. ]

It's simply a surprise.

[hux]

And are you going to do it, or just sit there talking about it?

[ Knowing Ren, it could be the latter.]

[derriphan]

As it happens, I'm discussing styles as we speak.

[ Ring shopping for the sake of one's sex life is a perfectly legitimate use of shore-leave. ]

I assumed you'd wish to contribute.

[hux]

Good, it isn't as if you have any style to begin with. You'll need help there.

Why should I contribute?

4 because i have to know as well

[sensitively]

'chubby bunny'?

[derriphan]

You really did live under a rock.

[ There's a grainy holovid of a bunch of children cramming marshmallows into their mouths and trying to say "chubby bunny" with varying degrees of success. This progresses until their mouths are so stuffed full of candy that they can barely shape their mouths around the word. ]

[sensitively]

I lived on a rock, not under one, thanks.

[ but she ends up cracking a grin and then stifling a surprised laugh at children attempting to blubber out "chubby bunny" through marshmallow-stuffed mouths. ]

...Tell me that's not something you actually did as a youngling. [ because that would be cute and not at all Kylo Ren-ish. ]

5

[badnewsbears]

I apologise, sir. I had been on the bridge for twenty-one straight hours. How may I assist you?

5

[blacksquadleader]

What? I was tired!

[derriphan]

Figured as much when you rolled over and started snoring.

[blacksquadleader]

I do not snore.

[derriphan]

Ask the droid if you don't believe me.

[blacksquadleader]

BB-8 would never say I snore. Just that one time I was sick and that was different.

5

[xwingpoetry]

If it makes you feel any better, I didn't pass out intentionally and I'm sorry if you felt so clearly neglected.

[derriphan]

I might be inclined toward forgiveness if you bring me offerings of caf and whatever the cafeteria is serving that doesn't have fish in it.

[xwingpoetry]

I could probably do that. I mean, if it means you'll forgive me. Course I'm not entirely above begging, too.

[derriphan]

Oh, there'll be begging. You can count on that.

How merciful I'm inclined to be depends on how fast you get that caf to me. Bearing in mind that they've got me in a new block - no neighbours.

[ Read: They can -- and will -- be loud. ]

1

[handsomefacepoe]

_{Sounds like a fun way to keep things interesting. Kinda tmi there.}