bakerstreet | Romantic Attempt

[ Look, the worst puns are the skeleton ones. Other puns... Well. If set up correctly, he can even make a few. And Mettaton has a giant heart on him now, which is really cute!!!

Taking the robot's hand in his, he nods. ]

I would very much like to go NOW.

[ With that pause in the concert, Papyrus notices he's gotten a text, and quickly reads it over- ]

Why would January first...

...

SANS, I'M BLOCKING YOUR NUMBER, LET'S GO METTATON.

[ DRAGGING THIS ROBOT OUT THE DOOR NOW. ]

[Ah, yes, they're holding hands again. He's going to have to build up an immunity to this. The faint vrrrrrrrrrrr is starting to drown out hearts going on.]

YES! FANTASTIC! I KNOW ITS EARLY, BUT HOW DOES DINNER SOUND? OH, THERE'S SO MUCH TO DO. I HAVE TO CALL THE RESORT TO SET US SOME TABLES AND CLEAR OUT THE RESTAURANT SO IT'S JUST THE TWO OF US AND OH I HAVEN'T DECIDED ON THE MUSIC YET (BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO BE CELINE DION)! AND I'M-- I'M NOT DRESSED FOR THIS, WAIT JUST A

[Click! One hotbot, coming up.]

There we are! [Let's not destroy the stairs any more than he did coming up. He's already paying for the kitchen.]

O-Oh!

[ That... sure was sudden!!!! WELL THEN!! Suddenly, a much taller, more human-shaped robot is holding his hand. Not that he has a problem with that. ]

You know what they say! Dinner is just a time when you eat food!

[ No one... no one says that. And Papyrus doesn't sleep so literally any time is dinner time. ]

I need to change into my date clothes though!! Call them while I'm gone!! I'll be right back!!

[ To which he sadly must let go of Mettaton's hand, and run back into his room to take off the battle body he loves so dearly. ]

[...is that what they say? Mettaton had never heard that before! He always assumed dinner was reserved for closer in the night, but if that was the case, then there were no issues!

Mentally, he made a note of that. Haha! And to think he always thought it was only pizza on bagels that were allowed at any time of the day! What a wonderful thing to learn.

But Papyrus is leaving him (tragically) to change, so MTT leans himself up against the wall and puts a hand to his head, thumb to his "ear" and pinkie to his mouth.]

Morning, darling, it's Mettaton. ...Yes, everything is fine, thank you. I just need to request a table for two at, let's saaaaay, 1pm. ...Mhmm... Ahahah, oh! 'fraid that's a secret, darling. But you know that when I say that I'm requesting a table, that means the restaurant needs to be empty. ...Yes, of course. I'm sure they'll be furious. Just let them know that it's an emergency! They can get their tables rebooked when I'm not there. ...Mmhmm. ...Well, if it's that inconvenient to them, we have our Burger Emporium right there. They can go next door. It's just as fine an establishment! The steaks have my face on them!!

...Yes. Yes, alright. Thank you, darling. ...Haha, you have a sparktacular day as well. Oh! And make sure we have someone playing the piano. And candles! And rose petals!! And- and one of those champagne fountains with the cups in the shape of my hips! This needs to be the most impressive of dinners we've ever had!! Everyone's jobs is on the line here! I'm talking romantic atmosphere so intense that we could put it on the menu and eat it!!

[When did he start swooning and kicking his leg up onto the banister?]

[ Meanwhile, Papyrus is off in his room, tossing his scarf onto his bed, and then removing his battle body. He figured since they were going somewhere fancy- Mettaton's restaurant, he should make sure to wear something just as nice. ... So he wore his Cool Date Clothes. It's the outfit he's the most proud of. Sure, were a few dress shirts, and even a tie in his closet, but he had yet to bedazzle those yet, so clearly they were not yet worthy. Wearing his Cool Dude shirt with basketballs on his arms, (since basketballs are for wearing, not for playing), and a pair of denim shorts, he was ready. Papyrus decided to ditch the hat at the last moment, figuring it'd be rude to wear a hat indoors in a place that wasn't his own home.

After he's put on about a thousand different MTT-Brand creams and perfumes and colognes, all of which are meant to be used individually and not ... together, Papyrus steps out of his room to catch the tail end of the other's conversation and manages to wind up watching Mettaton basically hump his upstairs railing. ]

... So are you ready to go on our date??

[Oh! He hears his darling coming out of the room!]

Okay, that's all. We'll be in at 1. Remember: perfect, perfect, perfect!

[He closes his hand into a fist with his other hand like he's closing a flip-phone (there's a little click that comes with the gesture. Seems that's just how he works), then twists around.

That is... the most garish, mix-matched outfit and set of scents he has ever seen or smelled.]

...

[His hands are at his mouth. If he had the capacity to cry, it honestly looks like he might.]

You're...

You're wearing my brand.

[TONS of it! Incomprehensible amounts of it! And he loved it all so much that he was willing to wear it all no matter how it made him look or smell!! Not to mention that this was their first date and Papyrus has already spent so much money on him!!

My god, he's perfect.]

I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE READY, SUGAR! LET'S GET THIS DATE STARTED!

[ The best and/or worst part: it was mostly Sans' money. But yes, it was all spent on him!! ]

I love your brand!! I told you, I watch all of your shows, right?? Especially the commercials! And I call up the 800 number a lot too.

[To buy more things.]

ANYWAY, ALRIGHT!! LET'S GO!!

[ And this time, rather than taking Mettaton's hand without his permission, he holds out his hand, since this is now OFFICIALLY THE DATE. ]

Edited 2016-01-11 03:27 (UTC)

[Mettaton could never figure out what it was that made all of Papyrus' adoration so... genuine. He heard this same spiel all of the time. The entire Underground idolized him. Everyone loved his shows! Everyone bought his products! Everyone wanted signatures and a kiss and a smile and to be with him, but this was different somehow...

It's all very nerve-wracking, which is something he hasn't felt in ages.]

Oh... you must have so many expectations of me. I hope I'm meeting all your standards, then.

[He takes the hand and brings it up to his mouth, actually giving it a proper kiss this time--just like he'd seen in all of those fairy-tales. Then he's tugging the skeleton downstairs and away from the eternal Celine Dion concert.

Note to self: eradicate Celine once he's bested Hatsune Miku.]

I thought we'd take the scenic route, if that's okay with you.

[goodbye

]

Well, you've already proven to me you can make spaghetti- so you won't need to be any more impressive than that on the first date!

[ aND thEN he kISSES HIm, and Papyrus starts blushing intensely upon Mettaton acting like quite the gentleman and kissing his hand like that. Being showered in kisses is certainly one of his many dreams, but even just being kissed once on the hand by Mettaton makes him feel like he's already achieved that dream and so much more!! And that's what's going on in his head as he puts his free hand up against his cheekbone in embarrassment as his robot boyfriend pulls him out the door. ]

I'd be happy to go on a scenic walk to your restaurant! I'm a skeleton of simple desires and needs! Yep, nothing fancy at all is really necessary with me!

Hahahaha!

[Ugh, what an awful, relieved laugh! But this horrible skeleton that has ensnared him in a dark prison of passion is so cute that he can't stop himself. He doesn't mean to squeeze his fingers and start swinging his arm like they had during their drunken misadventures, but he's blushing so furiously and the morning air is so crisp and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

but now Papyrus talking about how he doesn't need that much to impress him oh no, what this was going to be too fancy?? Did he have to call the restaurant back up again and tell them to turn it down? He already put the fear of termination in them; he can't take that back!!]

W-well, the GREAT Papyrus deserves something great, doesn't he? It's the least I can do for such a loyal and dedicated fan!

I'm still your biggest fan! But I'm also happy to just be with you! We're clearly both great and amazing people! I don't need things like... huge LED screens with my face on them broadcasted everywhere! Even though actually I would really like that. But that's not the point!

I'm a very humble skeleton. My desires are to see your smile!

[Nooooooooooo he's so sweet! If it was anyone else, MTT could have said it was just fluffing his ego for the sake of getting close, but with Papyrus? He meant it! He was amazing and Mettaton was amazing, so why wouldn't they just be happy to spend time together being amazing?

He can tell he has an embarrassingly stupid smile to match the one Papyrus is making, so he pulls him closer as they trudge through the snow and to Waterfall.

vrrrrrrrrrrrrrr]

I can do that as long as you'd like me to~. Anything to make my sugarskull as happy as he makes me.

[They're both disgustingly infatuated with each other and they've only been dating for five minutes. Eat it, every other couple ever. Even if he's now still questioning just how the skeleton will react to the restaurant. UGH. He knew he should have called Burgerpants to do it! He would underachieved to the greatest of mediocrities!

Hmph.

...It strikes him that he knows about the romantic dinners and cuddling and awkward bed wrestling, but he honestly has no idea what to do in between. Most movies... sort of go straight from the first to the last in the span of their run-time. This is a romantic, leisurely walk, so there isn't any time for dancing or paintball or playing hilarious pranks on burglars...]

...so. How. are things? [He's one step away from asking about the weather. This is great.]

Edited (I THOUGHT OF A THING, CAN'T STOP ME) 2016-01-12 01:32 (UTC)

[Hand holding? Pah! That's for people who AREN'T DATING. Now, arm-linking, that's where it's really at. So that's what Papyrus does! Links arms with his giant robot now-boyfriend. ...They are boyfriends now, right? Maybe he should ask that. Maybe he should wait until after the date? Oh no, he doesn't know if it's too late to ask now, and if waiting until the end of the date is definitely too late!!

If only they could enter into the annual Nose Nuzzlers competition, but alas, Papyrus has no nose, and they would be disqualified on that alone. What a curse it is sometimes, to be a skeleton...]

How... are things?

[Hmm. MAYBE he can get Mettaton to say they are boyfriends or something before Papyrus has to ask.]

Well! I'm going on a date, so I think that's a pretty positive thing! And before that, I was cleaning up for a while, and I'm just now realizing I think I left the vaccuum out... But I did my chores as new Captain of the Royal Guard today, so I don't have to worry about that at least!

But generally, everything's going well!

... So how are you?

[Linking arms, are they? How forward! The robot wraps his noodle arms around the skeleton's in response. Finally being able to experience touch made you a little touchy-feely, alright?]

Ohoho! I forgot that I'm dating a Captain! [Well. All the Guard did now was plant flowers, but the title was still an important one! And what's the point of doing anything you aren't going to be ranked by how amazing you are at it?

Swooning. Just a little, in that breathless-but-not-just-because-he-doesn't-have-lungs sort-of-sighing way.] You must be very impressive at what you do.

And I'm splendid, sugar. My new sound-designer and I are working on a brand-new album inspired by the human that came through. It's a concept album! Very high-brow. I couldn't be more excited! And best of all, I'm with you!

[Eugh. As romantic as dimmly lit caves are supposed to be, they were at one of the actual waterfall parts of... Waterfall. With all of Undyne's "rock-traps". No style at all. But not wanting to wade through all this water would give him the opportunity to really stretch-out these dating muscles!] Hold on to me, will you?

[Not only does the Guard only plant and water flowers now... but Papyrus is literally the only member. Which is... well. Not exactly what he had in mind, but... it is the title he wanted.]

Oh- well! I do my very best! And since I'm naturally so good at so many things, I'm sure it's very impressive to witness. Those gardens don't weed themselves, after all!

[And he pleasantly nods along with Mettaton's talk of a new album, whatever a "concept album" is. He'll buy it, of course, and he'll love it, per usual, even if he has no idea what it is.]

Right, the human!

[His friend.

Nope!! No need for frowns on this date!!]

Hmm?

[Hold onto him? Oh, there's a lot of water around here. As a robot, Mettaton probably shouldn't get wet. Well then!]

Of course!

[And with that, he gladly tries to pick up Mettaton to carry him bridal style across the deeper parts of Waterfall's puddles.]

[And surprisingly, even though Mettaton weighs a metta-TON, he's surprisingly light! Right now! Even Papyrus is a little taken aback how easy it is to carry the robot across the deeper water.]

All that training with Undyne must have paid off! I feel a lot stronger right now!!

[LOOK AT HOW EASY IT IS TO CARRY IS MAYBE?BOYFRIEND!! He feels so triumphant.]

[Honestly, it's a shame Papyrus never questions the album further. Mettaton would love to explain it. Concept albums. It's like... a concept, man. All the ideas are down, but only in concept. It's very fascinating! And apparently very popular on the surface!

Humans sure know how to make things interesting.

But oh! He's being picked up!!]

Oh! [Not what he meant, not what he meant!! He was going to stretch his arm across and pull them along like he'd seen that cartoon robot do, but now--

Papyrus would have broken something if he doesn't, so the robot floats. Literally floats in order for the skeleton to "pick him up". It's a trick most ex-ghosts retain and one he doesn't like to use without disguising it as just flame boosters, but for Papyrus' sake...]

Haha! You... sure are strong! What great big muscles you have.

[ Maybe he'll ask more about the concept album over dinner!!!!!!! ]

I know, I work out every day!

[ Oh, is that what Mettaton planned? Well, Papyrus sure didn't pick up on that, and is now gracefully wading through water with Mettaton in his hands. Kind of. It almost felt like he wasn't even there. Further proof of how much he's worked out!! Soon enough they're back on dryish land, and Papyrus 'carefully' puts Mettaton back down to his feet. ]

There you go, nyeh heh heh!!

[There's a thunk when MTT's heels hit the ground, almost like he's gone back to weighing a metta-ton.

He pats Papyrus on the shoulder and offers another kiss on the cheek.]

My hero saves me again.

[Ah, now it's time to wade through grass. Suddenly, Mettaton remembers why he never takes the scenic route in Waterfall anymore. At least he can link arms again. That's romantic!]

You know, Alphys actually has all this grass under protection? She says its for scientific research, but I know her. She's making [hair flip, this is such a great word] gelato. I could ask her for some, if you want.

O-Oh! W...well, I... Ahem! Yes! I did!

[ EYEBALLS HAVE MAGICALLY APPEARED IN HIS HEAD WITH HOW SHOCKED HE IS AT BEING KISSED ON THE CHEEK this is the greatest moment of his life, right here. Except maybe it was second greatest, because being Captain of the Royal Guard was pretty great. Also he got to pet a dog the other day, and that was amazing- wait, shit, no this is not the time.

Linking arms and walking again with Mettaton, they continue. ]

That sounds wonderful! I would love some!!

...

What's gelato?

Edited 2016-01-13 04:16 (UTC)

[It's so nice not to be the one falling over himself anymore. It's amazing what confirmation on your attractiveness and charm can do for you!

At least this patch of grass is short. Now it's to the least effective puzzles ever. Ignoring the water blossoms of whatever they were called, Mettaton opts to wait at the edge so they could leap over the gap together.]

Ahaha! Oh, sugarskull, it's just a fancy way to say ice cream. [No, it's really not, but nice try, MTT.] There's so much about human culture I have to teach you! You need to know these things if we're going to be DATING, after all. You're great, but life isn't worth anything if you don't inspire to be GREATER.

[Well, keep charming the pants off of him (even though he is not wearing pants) and he'll certainly be more embarrassed than Mettaton at this rate.

Oh right, this place. This sure was an easy puzzle literally anyone could just step right over! Except maybe Sans, but he had his own way of doing things. Anyway, since it's such an easy place to go through, he figures he won't need to pick up Mettaton this time, and instead they'll simply leap over the little streams of water. You know, the jimpity jumpity joodle.]

Oh, is it??

[Not like he would know the difference.]

Right! Of course, please educate me in human culture as much as you can! I want to know everything there is to know!

[Even if they aren't true things!!]

I always aspire to be greater every day!!! That's almost my life motto!! Except phrased a little differently.

[They're both ready. Initiate the limpity lompity leap! It's romantic?]

Where to even BEGIN? The surface is different and amazing... Did you know they don't try to hinder their own progress with puzzles? They actually encourage travel without it! I know it's a controversial concept down here, but that's why the MTT Resort prides itself on its lack of puzzles!

[And another jump. Honestly, who was this puzzle even supposed to challenge? The littlest tiniest babies?

At least from here, it's to the wishing room. That's actually where the robot wanted to go.]

this threads a hot mess

would it honestly be anything else

not with the three of us tbh

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so long gay cowboys

i cant believe i have to acknowledge your tag in order to keep the order right

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sans entrapment

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i can stop you. by not reply!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo my one weakness

1/2 as i wait for your answer on plurk before i tag with the rest

2/2

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